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My Teenage Highschool Romance Comedy Can't Be This Perverted! Chapter 104: Winner
🕑 Added 2025-07-16 11:54:16 +0000 UTCNot beta read yet.
I feel like I should stop saying 'in a few hours' as I always jinx myself and something goes wrong making me spend waaaaayyyy more time than I anticipated to finish the chapter...
Long chapter.
Next update is An Archer's Promise.
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-Underworld-
Okay, this officially sealed the deal. Not in the romantic sense, of course, if anything, I now found myself caught in a situation more dangerous than any rating game, life-or-death battle, or demonic encounter I’d ever endured. No, this time it wasn’t my life on the line. It was something far more delicate; my dignity as a man and the last few embers of what remained of my purity.
"Get the hell away from me, you crazy woman!"
"Come on, it's just a kiss! There should still be traces of saliva on your skin if it hasn’t dried off too much. If I’m fast enough, I can still get a taste!"
"Are you even hearing what you’re saying!? There’s a limit to how creepy someone can be, you absolute psychopath of a siscon! Did you just lick my finger!?"
"Then stop pressing your hand against my face!"
"No, you stop trying to rape me, you lunatic!"
"Why are you so against a kiss from a beautiful woman like me? Don’t tell me it’s just because Gabriel kissed you in secret that everything else no longer compares to her! Is that it? Then I’ll prove otherwise!"
"This went from you trying to get a taste of Sona’s totally platonic kiss to now trying to beat Gabriel at it?! How insane are you, woman!?"
As anyone with functioning eyes could see, I was now locked in a desperate struggle for survival against none other than one of the infamous Maou. Not that the title made much difference right now, considering how utterly deranged she looked. I had just come out of a nerve-wracking rating game that I somehow survived, barely, thanks to a technicality. I was supposed to be preparing mentally to face Sairaorg. Instead, I hadn’t even had the chance to breathe before this woman dragged me into a lounge and started practically forcing herself on me. For the last few minutes I just kept forcing her away with strength I did not even know I possessed.
My eyes darted toward the two spectators at the far end of the room, who were, infuriatingly, still lounging around and chatting like this was a casual gathering, as if I wasn’t over here screaming for my life.
"Oi, Sirzechs! And you too, Ajuka! Help me get your fellow Maou off me! How can you two just sit there and ignore my very real, very desperate pleas for help!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs, cursing these two a thousand times in my mind in a span of a few seconds.
After the rating game against Sona, the place she dragged me to was indeed the lounge room, a place where the so-called VIPs gathered. This particular area was apparently only accessible to the Maou class devils. Convenient, since I had something rather important to tell them. But none of that mattered right now, because I first needed to get out of this nightmare.
"Hahaha, you're just overreacting, Hachi-kun," Sirzechs said with that same easygoing smile he always wore when life was about to become unbearable for me. "Serafall is simply congratulating you in her own unique way. Consider it a special gift from one of your most devoted fans."
Since when did she become my most devoted fan? I did not want that one bit! That damned redhead spoke so cheerfully, acting like he had no clue how ridiculous this was, but I could see through him. His whole laid-back act was just another excuse to throw me into chaos and call it entertainment. I was not some half-dead court jester meant to perform for his amusement just because he was bored.
Fortunately, I came prepared. I had a trump card, a powerful one. Something even someone like Sirzechs, the strongest devil in the Underworld, would not take lightly. Something that could move him to action and possibly save me from my current horror.
With swift and decisive action, I shoved Serafall away from me and reached into the inside pocket of my vest. My fingers closed around the precious cargo I kept hidden there. I whipped it out and flashed it in his direction. "Grant my request and I shall bestow upon you these three pictures I took of Rias sleeping in three different sets of adorable fluffy animal onesie pajamas. And in the third one, she’s wearing one of your official merchandi—"
I didn’t even need to finish. The photos vanished from my hand in an instant. One second I had them, the next they were gone. And in the same breath, Serafall was yanked back by a towering Sirzechs whose previously mellow expression had been replaced by something far more intense.
"This is not the time to be playing around, Serafall," he said, voice clipped with rare authority. "Our friend here is clearly exhausted after the rating game and needs a moment to rest. You’re disturbing him, and as both his brother-in-law and close friend, I cannot stand by and let this continue."
Fucking two faced liar.
Also, since when the hell did I even become his brother-in-law? Apparently, this guy was already halfway through marrying me into his family before I’d even received a formal invitation. At this point, I wasn’t so much shocked as resigned. I just rolled my eyes and imagined how others would react, particularly Sona. I wondered how she’d feel seeing her oh-so-powerful sister, one of the feared Four Maou, being held by the collar like a misbehaving cat by Sirzechs, all while trying to claw her way back to me and whimpering through fake tears about how I had stolen her precious Sona’s first kiss. Something about it not being fair. Or sacred. Or something equally ridiculous.
Honestly, I was starting to wonder if becoming a powerful devil, especially of the super or ultimate class variety, eventually caused this sort of mental shift. Maybe power came bundled with brain-rot. With that unsettling theory floating in my head, I turned to Ajuka, who stood there wearing the expression of someone who had witnessed this line of thinking emerge in real time.
"Don’t lump me in with these idiots. I’m perfectly normal." He said dryly, taking a sip of his wine whilst trying to look completely unaffected.
"Sure."
Yeah, no. Not convinced at all.
"Hah. Anyway, I’ve got some worrying news I think the three of you should hear as soon as possible given it involves people from the Old Satan Faction and a guy who is called Rizevim." My tone and the name must have shifted because both Sirzechs and Serafall instantly stopped fooling around. Their postures straightened, and they turned their full attention toward me. The change in atmosphere was immediate, and for once, I appreciated it.
So, I didn’t waste time. I told them everything about my recent encounter with the lunatic devil Rizevim and what had happened to me before I managed to escape. I kept my tone calm and steady, not letting the weight of what I was saying color my voice too much, but the longer I spoke, the more serious their expressions became. Serafall, in particular, underwent the most drastic transformation. Her earlier whimpering and jealous ranting had completely vanished, replaced by a look of a person that differed greatly from her usual self. The air around her turned cold and heavy, a murderous intent radiating from her that seemed to distort even the space near her — okay maybe that last part was just my imagination.
"Let me have a look."
Her voice, too, was no longer childish. It was lower, deeper, and carried the maturity of a different person entirely. I had to do a double take just to make sure my ears had not started malfunctioning as well. The shift reminded me all too well of how Raynare used to sound as Yuuma before revealing her true self.
This time, I didn’t block her. I allowed her to approach. With a simple flick of her finger, the clothes on my body vanished in an instant. Accompanied by a powerful surge of demonic energy that could have easily restrained me earlier had she been serious. Serafall stepped in and examined me closely. Ajuka followed suit, his expression just as unreadable as before. They observed in silence for several seconds, exchanging subtle glances filled with unspoken thoughts. I could feel a cold bead of sweat form on my neck.
"Hopefully it's not bad news."
Even though I’d kept myself mostly calm throughout, their prolonged silence started to chip away at my nerves. I braced myself for something ridiculous, like hearing that Vritra had been ripped out of me entirely.
"Well," Ajuka finally said, "it’s neither good news nor bad news. For one thing, there’s nothing missing inside you… so to speak."
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. That alone was enough to give me some relief. Their answer might not have been a clear diagnosis, but at least it confirmed that Vritra was still within me. Something was simply blocking the connection.
"He most likely disrupted your link to your Sacred Gear," Ajuka continued, "but that man shouldn’t have the ability to remove it, or even seal it away permanently, no matter how powerful he is. Unless we’re dealing with entities on the level of the Dragon Gods or the Christian God himself, you're still carrying Vritra within you. Removing him from you would have instantly killed you, and since you are alive then rest assured that the dragon is still within. He also cannot kill Vritra since that also means you would die."
Old information, that part I was already aware of for quite a while. "Then it’s only a matter of time before I get my connection back, isn’t it?"
"Logically, yes. But it would be best if we continue observing your state for a while longer.”
While that did seem like a wonderful idea on the surface, one important question instantly came to my mind.
"Just how long are we talking here?"
"A few weeks or a month at best."
As soon as those words left her mouth, the entire proposal was tossed out the window. I shook my head with a clear refusal. "Sorry, I can’t stay in the Underworld for that long. I’ve already got a pile of responsibilities to take care of back on the surface, and I’ve already been gone far too long because of this Rating Game competition. Spending another month down here wouldn’t be ideal by any stretch. If it’s only a matter of observation, then I can send you a daily report myself. I’ll keep you updated on my condition and any noticeable changes. Or, if you prefer, you can send someone to keep an eye on me from a distance and have them send you reports instead."
"I see no problem with that."
Surprisingly, Ajuka agreed to the suggestion without the slightest hint of resistance. Not that I was going to argue with him — he clearly understood that I wasn’t just being difficult. I meant it. I had things I couldn’t put off any longer. My responsibilities as a club leader weren’t something I could keep avoiding, especially when I’d already shoved most of the burden onto Aika's shoulders.
Even though I had been trying to make amends for that recently, disappearing into the Underworld for several more weeks would undo everything I had worked to patch up. Not to mention, I had this gnawing feeling that the longer I remained down here, the more likely it was I’d get dragged into another headache-inducing mess. Rizevim wasn’t the only person I suspected of having it out for me. The Astaroth heir seemed way too interested in my business for it to be a coincidence, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was in some kind of twisted alliance with Rizevim behind the scenes.
Even after I shared that suspicion and explained how one of Diodora’s peerage members had been the one to send me into that trap, none of the faces around me changed much. There was a flicker of surprise, a shadow of concern, especially on Ajuka’s usually unreadable face, but no one moved or spoke with any urgency.
"All right then. I should be heading back to prepare for the upcoming Rating Game against Sairaorg."
"Wait, you’re actually planning on going through with that? Are you completely insane!?" Serafall exclaimed in disbelief, her reaction was immediate, and she practically threw herself in front of the exit like a living roadblock, arms outstretched as though I couldn’t just teleport past her with a thought.
"You might’ve had a chance back when you still had your Sacred Gear, but without it? That’s suicide. You won’t even touch him."
A bit of confidence would have been helpful, then again… this was Sairaorg we were talking about.
"Well, you know me. It’s not like I’m about to pull a magical power-up out of nowhere like Issei’s been doing lately. Even if I still had Vritra with me, I doubt it would have made much of a difference. You’ve seen what Sairaorg can do. The guy is terrifying."
"Then why even bother facing him at all?" Sirzechs asked curiously.
"Because he won’t leave me alone if I don’t."
I didn’t need to think about the answer. It was already carved into my thoughts.
"Even if I try explaining that I’m currently unable to use my Sacred Gear, he’ll just wait until I get it back and come knocking again. He’s not the type to let go of something once he’s interested. If I want to avoid future problems after leaving the Underworld, I have to take a risk now. Call it a reckless move or whatever you like, but I’m just using a dangerous and painful shortcut to dodge a hundred future headaches."
They all looked at me like I had gone off the deep end. Honestly, I wasn’t even going to argue with that reaction. Even though I knew this plan sounded like a disaster. But the only real consequences would be a few bruises, maybe a black eye, and a temporary loss of dignity, not exactly anything Asia couldn’t heal with her magic in five minutes. That girl really was a blessing. One gentle touch and all the pain vanished like it never happened.
"Anyway, enough about me for a second. Are you seriously going to do something about Diodora?" I narrowed my gaze and looked directly at Ajuka, because I wasn’t about to let this go. "The fact that I was sent into that hellhole by one of his peerage members should be incriminating enough to justify at least an arrest and a full investigation. I want to believe something optimistic, like him being immediately thrown in chains or locked up in a cold cell — especially since he’s from the same family as you. But I know better than to expect that."
I exhaled and leaned back slightly.
"At the very least, something has to be done, right?"
Because I had long since accepted that fairness was a joke, whether in my world or this one. Especially in the Underworld, where anyone even remotely related to the Satans, be they brothers, sisters , cousins, or distant relatives, always got special treatment. No matter what they did.
Riser was proof enough and most importantly, so was Rias herself. The fact that her Peerage consisted of so many powerful and unique individuals was clear evidence on its own, and I wasn't naive enough to think Ajuka wouldn’t show a degree of favoritism or quiet leniency to Diodora, especially given that they were both from the Astaroth lineage. That kind of family tie meant something in their world, no matter how much everyone pretended otherwise.
"You have my word. I’ll look into this matter personally, and if he’s truly involved with the Old Satan Faction, then he’ll be punished accordingly."
"That’s all I ask. Just, in the meantime, keep him away from anyone I know. If he really was behind that stunt, there’s no telling who he might try it with next."
Yes, Gabriel was currently keeping an eye on Asia, making sure nothing happened to her. But being extra cautious never hurt anyone, and frankly, it helped me sleep better.
"Alright then, come on. Just announce the final matchup already. Let’s get this over with. I’m tired, and I just want to go home."
I was preparing to leave, shifting my weight, half-distracted, when I felt a hand suddenly land on my shoulder. And before I had time to turn, a warm pair of lips pressed against my cheek followed by a quick one on my lips.
Caught completely off guard, I turned quickly and saw Serafall step back with a bright, almost theatrical grin on her face. Her hands were hidden neatly behind her back, her expression far too pleased with herself.
"There! Now that counts as an indirect kiss with Sona! But you can also think of it as a little good-luck blessing from me~!"
I just stood there, one hand lingering on my cheek as the meaning of what had just happened slowly sank in. A hundred thoughts flew through my head, most of them scrambled and unhelpful. Eventually, I looked at her carefully, then narrowed my eyes. "You’re always full of surprises. But if you don’t mind me asking, do you actually have feelings for me? And I don’t mean the vague kind… I’m talking about romantic interests. So don’t give me some vague answer or redirect the question into a joke. And don’t even try to say you’re doing this to get one over on Gabriel. You’re petty, sure, but you’re not that petty."
I asked her directly. Because deep down, I knew that if I ignored this now, if I brushed it under the rug or tried to pretend it didn’t matter, it would only grow more complicated. I was already in an official relationship with Rias and Akeno. There were rumors, persistent, annoying ones, that I’d slept with Xenovia, Kalawarna and Raynare. Now, to top it off, a Valkyrie was apparently involved.
If a Satan joined that list, the political consequences alone would be enough to bury me. And just like that, the dream I’d had about Venelana and Grayfia came rushing back with horrifying clarity. The guilt clamped down fast, especially with Sirzechs and Ajuka standing nearby. If either of them found out about that dream, I didn’t want to imagine what kind of reaction I’d have to face.
‘Urgh, I have truly become a degenerate pervert just as bad as Issei.’ The old me would have grown disgusted by the current me for sure, but then again… so was I.
"Hmm."
Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly at all, Serafall didn’t flinch. She didn’t blush or stutter or smack me in the face while shouting "idiot" before sprinting off like a badly written tsundere anime heroine. Instead, she simply tapped her chin with one finger and stared at me with a calm and amused smile.
"You know, I’ve been a Satan for just as long as Ajuka and Sirzechs and not once have I seriously considered romance. With all the responsibility of keeping peace among the pantheons, representing our faction, and making sure my little sister had the freedom to live happily, finding love just never ranked high on the list. Even Ajuka had a fling back in the day and trust me he was more clingy than Sirzechs."
I knew it! Something wrong with all of them when it came to extremes!
"I would really appreciate it if you erased that part of my past from your memory," Ajuka said from behind her, his voice resigned and hollow like a man revisiting a bad decision from long ago. There was definitely a story there, and one I absolutely planned to dig into another time. But for now, I turned my attention back to Serafall.
"And you never had anyone? No one you were even remotely interested in? Not even a little crush at some point? Seems hard to believe, considering how long you’ve been around."
The woman chuckled mischievously, "Hehehe, is it that hard to believe? I wouldn't exactly call it a crush, but there were definitely times I got curious. I used to ask myself all sorts of what-if questions, imagining different lives I could’ve pursued instead of this one. Something less rigid, maybe even reckless. But the one thing I genuinely did fall for was my love for magical girls and everything tied to them. That obsession, along with Sona, brought me a kind of happiness that no type of love ever managed to give me."
"That does not really answer my question now, does it?"
"No, it doesn't," she said with a tiny smirk, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. "But I’m trying to find the right words. The kind that explains what I feel without turning it into something overcomplicated or dramatic."
She paused again, this time longer, thinking carefully. Then, slowly, she looked up and met my eyes.
"When I first saw you, I found you interesting. Not in a thunderbolt-to-the-heart way, just... you caught my attention. Then that whole chess match happened where you beat Sona. You know, technically speaking, if you’d been a devil back then, the outcome would’ve had you engaged to her. And weirdly enough, I was happy that didn’t happen at the time. But as more time passed and I kept running into you, I started wondering if maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. Being around you started to feel comfortable, and even the thought of being involved in that life... it stopped sounding ridiculous and started sounding strangely appealing."
The more she spoke, the more familiar it all started to feel. Like I’d heard these lines somewhere before. Her words echoed a conversation I once had with a certain fallen angel devil hybrid, the kind who spoke of harems and having her own group of people she cared for. The way Serafall was talking now, it was impossible not to draw some similarities between the two. Same tone, same strange romantic logic.
"Why? Do you perhaps not like the idea of me being interested in you?" she asked curiously, tilting her head slightly.
"It’s not that I dislike it. It’s more that I want to be clear on what you actually mean. There’s a big difference between liking someone in a genuine, emotional sense, and liking someone in a more... let’s say, in a physical way, without the emotional part attached. They’re two very different things, and I just want to make sure where you stand or if I’m completely misreading this situation."
She tilted her head back slightly, giving a small, almost unreadable expression. "Would you say no and push me away if I said that I have feelings for you?"
"I would say that I’m already committed to two women who demand a lot of my time and attention. And that, honestly, I don’t feel the same level of emotion for you as I do for them. That’s the truth." It might’ve sounded cold, but it was the most honest way I could put it. Sugarcoating it would just make things worse later. We knew each other well enough. We got along. We laughed, we talked, we even enjoyed each other’s company on occasion. But it wasn’t the same. I didn’t have the same kind of emotional attachment with her that I did with the other two. I respected her, appreciated her presence, and even found her obsession with magical girls weirdly entertaining. The way she teased Sona was annoying in theory but amusing in practice.
"Let’s be honest. If I tried to pursue you, or if I accepted your feelings, assuming you truly had them, I wouldn’t be able to treat you the same as I treat the others. Another issue is that we don’t see each other all that often. You have your duties as a Satan. I have my own obligations. It wouldn’t be fair. Not to you, and not to them either."
"Sometimes it’s hard to see you as a young boy, Hachiman," Serafall said using my full name which felt weird coming from this person, her voice more thoughtful than anything else. There was no hint of disappointment, no sign of frustration. "At times, you genuinely sound like an old man."
"I have been told the same thing for quite a while, at this point just get used to treating me as an old man trapped in the body of a teenage boy. Also, thinking logically and occasionally adding in a bit of hard-earned perspective isn’t something exclusive to old people," I replied.
"Then, would that mean," she asked, voice lighter now, "you wouldn’t have any issue if we had a physical relationship? No emotions involved. Just two people letting out some steam?"
“...”
Now it was my turn to be a little surprised by just how direct she was. I glanced sideways at the two other members who had gone quiet inside the room, only to find Sirzechs and Ajuka casually seated, each with a small plate of snacks in hand. They were watching us like we were the climax of some midday drama. These two… seriously.
"Well, I do find you physically attractive, so don’t get me wrong there," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "I’m not going to lie to myself and pretend I’m some saint who’s pure of heart and immune to temptation. That’d be too generous of a description, and frankly, too dishonest. But given how things are now, I don’t really see anything happening unless I'm too drunk to think anymore. And if I’m being honest, I’m pretty sure you’re not all that interested in me either, perhaps more like seeing a new toy to play with. You’re probably just saying this for the sake of saying it, or maybe testing the waters to see how I’d react."
I wasn’t under any illusion that all the women around me were secretly in love with me. That sort of delusion belonged to a very specific kind of protagonist, the dense, oblivious, and inexplicably popular kind.
"Great, that’s all I needed to know! Have fun on your next training game, and stay safe, Hachiman!"
For some reason… maybe because of my paranoia or just because it was Serafall — I felt like she may have misunderstood my words and was planning something in that twisted mind of hers.
{Break}
Something didn’t sit right.
[Sairaorg Bael and his Peerage are requested to head to the main zone in order for the Rating Game to officially start.]
Grayfia’s monotonous voice echoed across the chamber, crisp and final, catching the young man off guard. His eyes flicked to the blonde-haired girl standing next to him, clearly expecting answers.
"Shouldn’t this be happening tomorrow? I mean, it’s the finals. They can’t just start it on the same day as the semis," he asked, voice holding a trace of disbelief. He had watched the match between Hachiman and Sona, watched and silently admired how two brilliant minds faced one another. One had shown exceptional tactical awareness, the other had proven herself just as capable when pushed to a corner with a powerful Pawn. Facing either of them would be no small feat for your standard Peerage. He had been excited at the idea, but not like this.
His Queen, Kuisha, hummed, a small thoughtful sound escaping her lips. As the strategist of the peerage, if anyone had a theory, it would be her.
His ever loyal friend gave his words some thought. "Think about the match. It was obvious that Hachiman and his team didn’t really go through a strenuous fight. Aside from that fallen angel, the rest of his peerage came out more or less in top shape. The organizers probably saw no reason to delay the finals by a day. And they wouldn't make a call like this without consulting him first, not with his connections to the Gremory."
The more he listened, the more her explanation started to sound plausible. Still, something about it felt off. Hachiman didn’t seem like someone who would rush into another match without planning. He was certain of that after just being around him enough to get a good grasp on his personality.
"Maybe he’s riding the high from that last battle. A clean win like that can boost morale. He’s probably aiming to use similar tactics, banking on exploiting a technicality again."
"I… I am not sure, it just does not sound like the guy. Even if it's the case, that really depends on whether we’re even thrown into that kind of scenario in the first place," he said, arms crossed, his expression turning more serious. "There’s no guarantee we’ll end up in a match where knocking down a building ends the game."
"Does it matter, really?" Kuisha cut in, her voice calm and confident. "We can handle any situation. Doesn’t matter how it’s presented or what rules they throw at us — you never backed away from similar fights before.”
"I suppose you’re right," he said, brushing off the nagging feeling that clung to the back of his thoughts like an itch he couldn’t quite reach. Straightening up, he focused on the fight ahead.
"Don’t worry. No matter what he has planned, I doubt it’ll hinder your success rate, not with me here," a man said as he approached. Red hair, golden eyes and a mask to match the latter that hid some of his features. “If things get a bit messy then you always have me to help.”
“I can always count on you, Regulus.” he gave a short nod, the words easing some of the tension from his shoulders. "I guess I’m just being too cautious, letting my past impressions of him cloud my mind. I shouldn’t be doing that. Regardless, I’m actually looking forward to this match. I know he has the potential to be even stronger if he’s properly motivated. And in this fight, I’m sure we’ll push each other past our limits."
The grin on his face widened, his fist tightening with anticipation. Kuisha stood nearby, watching him with a calm gaze along with the rest of the peerage members who had long grown used to their leader’s attitude before battle.
"All right, everyone. Same approach as always. Stick to the usual strategy and we’ll come out on top," he began, his tone turning commanding. "Don’t underestimate him, not under any circumstances. You saw what he pulled off in his previous matches, especially against the Sitri heiress. Stay grouped and avoid spreading out. I’d also prefer if you leave the opening phase to me. I’ll handle it."
As he spoke, they stepped onto the summoning circle, their bodies fading from sight.
In the blink of an eye, they reappeared inside a stone-walled room, narrow windows letting in faint light. Looking out, they saw a barren rocky wasteland stretching in every direction. The terrain was brutal, flat with only scattered boulders and no real cover, very different from the urban mall setting of the earlier match.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kuisha asked, eyes narrowing slightly.
"He’ll most likely send his strongest one after you first; probably Nekoshou, Kuroka. Even though we haven’t seen much of what she can do, she was a former SSS-class criminal. An ultimate-class devil who’s trained in both Senjutsu and Touki, just like you. Underestimating her would be naive… then there is also the one who holds a Holy Sword, even if she's a human, those who have wielded that blade in the past have been known to pose a threat even against the strongest of Devils. And then there’s the fallen angels in his peerage, some capable of using light energy. Not to mention that six-winged angel on his side, rumored to wield holy energy too."
His Queen certainly did her homework, listing off each person and their main strengths that could be a danger to him. As devils, no matter how powerful they were, exposure to that kind of energy was always a risk. Too much, and even the strongest could fall victim to poisoning or worse.
"Of course there’s a risk," he replied, calm and unmoved. "It’s not the first time we’ve gone up against enemies with powers that are inherently dangerous to us. And it’s not the first time we’ve come out on top. You’re now being more cautious than usual, just like me, Kuisha."
She hesitated, then shook her head. "Then I'll say the same thing as you did, I’m just being cautious, same as always. But if you’re confident, then maybe I’m just overthinking things." She gave him a small smile, faint but genuine. "Go out there and have fun. And please, don't deliberately try to hold back just because you want the fight to go on for longer."
"Of course," he said with a grin that revealed nothing but certainty.
This time, there was no drawn-out meeting, no deep tactical breakdown. Just the quiet readiness before a storm. Cracking his knuckles, he stepped outside and took in the view.
They had been transported into what looked like a weathered castle. The stone under his feet was rough and uneven, the air thin and dry. Without hesitation, he jumped high, landing smoothly at the very top of the structure. He sat down cross-legged, arms resting on his knees, placing himself right in full view — no effort made to hide.
"All right then, Hachiman," he muttered to himself, a grin tugging at his lips. "Show me what you’ve got."
He had to admit it. This was something he had quietly looked forward to ever since that joint mission they had taken together to capture the remnants of the Old Satan Faction — particularly Katarea Leviathan. Back then, it was clear the young man wasn’t much of a battle junkie, not like himself. But even then, his power had been evident. And their training since then had only made it more apparent just how far the boy could go.
Now he wanted to see how far Hachiman had come.
[The Rating Game will commence in ten seconds. All groups are advised to stand ready,] Grayfia’s voice echoed through the air, cool and steady.
His heart pounded once, twice. Excitement flared through his veins like fire, spreading through his chest and climbing toward his head. A fight worth remembering was about to begin.
As if responding to the ticking sound of some internal clock, he waited exactly ten seconds. Not nine. Not eleven. Ten. The moment the buzzer sounded, his eyes snapped open. Without missing a beat, he rose, knees bent slightly, then launched himself forward with a smooth burst of momentum that landed him squarely in the middle of the field, open ground, no cover, no tricks. Just him and the silence.
"All right then, I'm here. Let's see just what you have in store, Hachiman."
He crossed his arms, eyes fixed on the castle looming in the distance where the other group should have been teleported into. While he waited for movement, for even the faintest hint of action, he kept himself alert. His senses extended outward, picking up the subtlest shifts in the air, the tiniest vibrations beneath his feet. The kind of awareness one gained not through training manuals or tutors, but from experience — the kind that got burned into the brain through repeated, unwanted exposure to life-or-death encounters he faced in his youth whilst training.
Five minutes passed.
Still nothing.
That same nagging feeling crept up from the back of his mind again, that vague tickle behind the eyes that told him something was off.
"Hm. Got cold feet?" he muttered, voice loud enough to carry. "Surely, planning out a strategy doesn't take that much time. You've already had half an hour, and honestly, I doubt you needed even that long."
The silence that followed was less dramatic and more awkward. Until footsteps. Distant at first then drawing closer and closer. He turned his head and, to his surprise, saw the black-haired youth finally approaching.
Hands in his pockets. Slouched shoulders. No entourage. No support. Just Hachiman, walking across the field like he had all the time in the world and nothing better to do.
They stopped a few meters apart.
Hachiman raised a hand and gave a lazy wave. "Yo."
"…"
If someone had dropped a pin, it would’ve been audible. The wind passed between them with the kind of exaggerated whistle you’d only hear in movies. Somewhere, somehow, a tumbleweed might’ve rolled by, but that was probably just the mood tricking the mind.
Sairaorg raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, expression blank. Trying, and failing, to make sense of the guy in front of him.
"Hey there," he eventually replied, tone somewhere between curious and forced civility. He followed it with a half-smile that was more genuine than it should’ve been.
"You’re one hell of a guy, aren’t you?" Hachiman said as he leaned casually against a nearby rock. "How the hell is someone like you even part of the younger generation? Wiping out entire opposing teams with all that absurd power. I’d call you a freak, but knowing your background… Well, never mind. I’ll still call you a freak. It’s completely unfair. Unless the other side’s got a souped-up monster who can go toe-to-toe with literal dragons, there's no way to counter you. Winning against you is practically impossible."
He spoke calmly, almost too casually for someone standing across from an opponent known for ripping people apart. There was no hostility, no intensity. Just tired honesty, as if he had long accepted the absurdity of the situation. It made the Devil wonder if the boy was going to concede the match and give up.
"How's your mum?"
That one caught him off-guard. He blinked, then chuckled under his breath and gave a small nod.
"She is… better than before. I’m still grateful to Miss Kuroma for what she did."
"From what I remember from that horny cat herself, that illness isn’t permanent and was treatable with someone versed in Senjutsu — pretty sure the Bael clan could have asked someone like Sun Wukong for help."
He clenched his fist, not from anger, but from frustration, sadness, longing and desperation. The hunger to see something precious restored. To see her open her eyes. To hear her voice again, to see that smile not locked in sleep for years.
He would do anything for that. She was one of the few reasons he’d made it this far.
"Hopefully." His voice dipped slightly. "I’m sorry, Hachiman. But I’m determined to face you, regardless of what you’ve done for me. Even if you're an important benefactor, I can’t throw this match just because you helped me. That’d be unfair to you… and to me."
"Oh, that wasn’t what I was going for. That’s a pretty awful strategy, don’t you think? Using your mother as leverage so someone goes easy on you? That's not just low, it’s pathetic. Even by my standards." Hachiman shook his head and looked out toward the field behind him, which made Sairaorg release a sigh of relief that they were not going down that path. "No, I brought her up because it’s something to talk about. Also because you seem… happier than when I first saw you."
The devil let out a small laugh. "Is it that obvious?"
"People who smile too much, who burn with enough positive energy to even make the sun feel inadequate — they’re usually hiding something. You’re not exactly Asia, but you and she aren’t that different the more I think about it. She smiled to avoid becoming a burden to others. You smile for similar reasons, but also to fuel yourself. Pain, guilt, anger; it drives you. Now, let’s say in a scenario where mother wakes up just now and you get the information. I wonder… will that fuel disappear? Or will it change into something else entirely?"
"So, you’re saying I’ll grow weaker?"
Hachiman shrugged, "That's up to you to decide. I'm just curious what path you'll take. Let's be honest, your entire life will shift with your mother no longer comatosed and fully involved in your daily life. Things won’t stay the same. So, what’ll it be? Will you use that drive to protect her at all costs, channel it into becoming stronger? Or will you ease off, step back from the grind, and spend more time with her — try to make up for all the time you lost?"
He actually gave it some genuine thought.
Sure, he’d trained out of spite at first, to prove his father and grandfather wrong. To prove he wasn’t weak. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t grown to enjoy the process. The discipline, the focus, the rhythm of it, it had become part of his routine, a grounding constant in a world that shifted around him. Giving that up completely was out of the question. But maybe doing it less, cutting back just enough to be there for her, that seemed like a path he might take.
"Maybe. Why do you ask?"
"No reason really. Just curious."
That earned a small chuckle.
Here they were, supposed to be having a serious one-on-one, a proper battle to test each other’s limits and instead they were standing in the middle of a battlefield having a heartfelt conversation. The kind of conversation that would make the audience on the outside groan in exasperation. One could almost hear the collective facepalms, the impatient shouting.
"You know," Hachiman began, "if you ever come visit Kuoh with her, drop by. You can make a request to the Service Club. We’ll take you around, show you a few places where you two can hang out, get some proper mother-son bonding time. I know a few restaurants too. Saizeriya’s the easy pick, but knowing how bougie you devils can be, maybe I’ll dig up something a little fancier. Damn, I sound like a spokesperson from a tourist agency. Anyway, just… give me a heads-up before you show up unannounced."
Sairaorg gave a quiet nod with genuine gratitude. "I will. I promise."
With a yawn and a slow stretch, Hachiman stepped away from the stone, his limbs loosening up before he began walking to the opposite side of the field. The distance between them now set, the mood shifted.
"All right then. Let’s get this over with. You always said you wanted to fight me at full power. I’ll give you that now. But after this, you have to promise me something."
"What is it?"
"Stop chasing me around trying to fight all the time. It’s annoying. I’m not a battle junkie like you."
That request took him by surprise, but still, not unreasonable. "Of course. Let’s go all out, and I’ll keep my end of the deal."
The fish eyed man sighed, rubbing his face which made it look like he had just woken up from a long sleep. "You know it's even more unfair since even if I had everyone here winning would still not be possible. Hah… this is going to hurt. Bones breaking is never something one can just get used to, only someone like that damned witch can say that."
He heard Hachiman mutter the words right before he shifted his stance. Just as the movement completed, a complex series of magic circles began turning above his opponent’s palm.
"Absolute Silence."
A dome rapidly expanded outward. It wasn’t the same as his Sacred Gear’s usual field, but something subtler. A translucent barrier surrounded them, and as soon as it closed in, all sound vanished. Not muffled, gone.
He could still feel the rush of his heartbeat, the pulse in his ears, but he couldn’t hear a thing. The world had gone completely mute, then he braced himself immediately.
Hachiman vanished.
No build-up. No dramatic glow or shout. Just gone. Likely a teleportation spell. ‘Strange... he’s not using his Sacred Gear yet. Maybe saving it for the final blow? Ah, that must be why he used this spell, to activate it without me knowing… I never knew you can't even sense another source of energy with this spell. It blocks everything except sight.’
A dangerous spell disguised as a harmless one, easily able to fool anyone who dared to underestimate it. His thoughts raced, eyes scanning, but without sound cues he had to trust pure instinct.
‘Behind me!’
Even though the words never left his lips, his mouth moved as if they had. But it didn’t matter. He’d already pivoted.
His senses screamed at him, warning of danger. His fist flew backward in a sharp, practiced motion, ready to meet his opponent with full force. But instead of flesh or bone, it struck something solid.
Eh?
‘A shield? Since when does he use a shield? I thought he had a spea—?’
Without much of a surprise, the shield shattered instantly, unable to withstand the sheer force behind his strike. Fragments of the barrier splintered like glass, the resistance barely lasting half a second. It was obvious now, it hadn’t been meant to block anything. Just a regular shield, nothing enchanted, nothing reinforced. More like a formality than a real defense.
But before he could register why that had been the case, his fist was already closing in on Hachiman.
The boy didn’t move.
He didn’t dodge, didn’t flinch, didn’t even lift a hand to defend himself. He just stood there, looking straight at him, face calm without even acknowledging the incoming strike.
‘Illusion magic? A clone? Some kind of projection spell?’
Too many thoughts flooded in at once. Given the unshaken look on Hachiman’s face, it had to be some kind of trick. There was no way he was standing there without a plan. No one stared down an attack like that without a trap in mind.
But then his fist made contact.
And instead of the resistance of air or some magical decoy, he felt it. The sickening crunch of flesh. The unmistakable snap of bone.
"What!?"
The sound should have echoed across the entire field, a thunderclap, a brutal reminder of the impact. But under the dome of Absolute Silence, nothing followed.
Hachiman’s body was launched backward like a ragdoll, limbs flailing for an instant before they went limp. He tore through several boulders in a straight, merciless line, until he vanished under a collapsing mountain of stone. Dust and rubble exploded outward in all directions, blanketing the space where he had once stood.
The silence shattered.
[Hikigaya Hachiman’s team has been eliminated following the defeat of their leader. The winner of this Rating Game and the victor of the young Devils Gathering competition is Sairaorg Bael and his peerage who have taken the first spot.]
“... N-No.”
Hearing that announcement, he just stood there stunned, neither feeling happy or disappointed — instead just completely confused.
“What the fuck? I do not acknowledge this!”
[All members will be returned in a few moments ]
"I DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THIS WIN, COME BACK! Hachiman!" Those were Sairaorg's last words before he and everyone else were teleported away while those outside watching the Rating Game just stood there, stunned.
{Break}
-???-
I rarely recall the last time when I woke up with such a mind-shattering headache, no, I did, it was during the time when I was facing that hateful goddess and barely managed to survive. Though to be fair, I did indeed nearly have my head cracked open from that punch alone, but it was the best and quickest way to be eliminated without much pain.
That in itself came as a weird relief—that I had actually lost. Lost clean. Not through some backhanded miracle or sudden twist that forced me into an undeserved win. That kind of plot armor wasn’t something I wanted, and frankly, I was pretty sure mine had run out a long time ago and was still cooling off somewhere in the void.
"Urgh…"
My eyes creaked open to the faint, unpleasant stench of alcohol and sterile ointments, the kind used for disinfecting battle wounds. Bandages were wrapped across part of my face. That alone felt off. Wasn’t the rating game system supposed to prevent serious injury? Or at the very least teleport you out before you ended up half-dead?
Not that it really mattered. I had other options. Azazel probably had a cabinet full of phoenix tears, and Ravel? She always carried a few for emergencies. Hell, even Riser owed me one after I bailed him out during that whole mess with his playboy lifestyle. I had access. It was fine.
"Home?"
I muttered the word like it might vanish if I said it too loudly. The ceiling above was familiar. My own. Not some Underworld infirmary or plush chamber in the Gremory estate. Just my plain ceiling, complete with that one weird stain in the corner I always forgot to clean.
"Haah… home at last."
It hadn’t even been that long since I’d left Kuoh, but somehow it felt like a lifetime. I’d missed this place more than I cared to admit. Sure, the fancy rooms were cool, but they never felt like mine. The silence, the over-polished floors, the way even the walls looked too expensive to touch, it was too much. This was better.
"Coffee…"
Like a zombie sniffing out its first victim, my throat practically begged for it. That sweet, sugary rush. The one true comfort of the modern world. I was about to drag myself out of bed when a can of Super Coffee appeared in front of me, complete with a straw.
"Eh?"
I blinked, neck protesting the motion as I turned my head and came to witness something I never thought possible.
"This has to be a nightmare."
"Stop saying stupid things, dipshit."
The voice snapped me out of my daze.
Standing there, looking about as out of place as a nun in a strip club, who hugged her body so tightly that I could even see the outline of her nipples making it obvious there was no bra underneath, was the fallen angel herself, Raynare.
Holding the coffee.
Wearing a nurse uniform.
"Don’t give me that look," she said, eyeing me as though I were a particularly slow-witted patient. "I didn’t poison it. Honestly, considering how rotten you are on the inside, I doubt poison would even work."
"...Why are you dressed like that?"
I ignored her jabs for now, mostly because I kind of agreed with them, but the more pressing issue was the outfit. It was tight. Way too tight. So tight that even through the fabric I could see the outline of things I really shouldn’t be able to see, which made it obvious she wasn’t even wearing a bra underneath. Ironically, it covered more than her usual outfit but felt somehow more indecent.
She clicked her tongue and pointed across the room.
"Not my idea. Blame her."
I followed her finger and immediately regretted it.
"K-Kala…?"
The blue-haired angel looked up and smiled brightly, as if my waking up had cured every ailment in the world.
"Oh good, I’m so happy you’re awake! You’ve been out cold for nearly two days!"
"Yeah, that’s… a long time. But more importantly…"
I looked down.
"...Why did you take off my pants… and where is my underwear?”
Panic set in.
What the hell did they do to my body while I was unconscious? Weren’t those things supposed to only happen in hentai?
Unfortunately, the confusion only grew when the door creaked open.
Akeno walked in, wearing a nurse uniform just as tight as the others, followed by a very familiar Valkyrie who clutched a package to her chest like it might explode any second. Her face was crimson, and her entire body shook with visible embarrassment.
"M-M-Miss Himejima, this cannot be appropriate! Making him wear these disgracefully expensive things… Why can’t we just use the boxers we found in his wardrobe?"
"Because," Akeno said without a shred of shame, "you’ll look much better in these. They’re sex—Hachi-kun!"
Her voice went from sultry to ecstatic in an instant. The moment her eyes landed on me, she sprinted across the room and leapt onto the bed, tackling me into a bear hug that nearly crushed the breath out of me.
Now I understood.
Now it all made sense.
Everyone was acting weird because of this pervert!
And also… what the hell was Rossweisse doing in Kuoh!?
“Let's celebrate this occasion, I'll get the alcohol!” I wanted to stop Kalawarna from doing that but was literally incapable of moving and saying anything as my mouth had been blocked off by a pair of soft lips.
The headache became much worse…
Comments
Gabriel jakubovic Canejo
The Only Thing that can Stop a Siscon (Especially a Super Powered One) is With a Even More Powerful though Arguably less crazy Siscon.
Reasonablefish
Losing his sacred gear temporarily is a blessing. He is like a Saiyan who only trains in SSJ, rather than his base form. He needs to work on his Senjutsu, Touki, and Gae Bolga Skills
Cody
Well nobody can see that Hachiman didn't lose with grace against Sairaorg. Of course the man himself wasn't satisfied with how the rating game ended so he may just end up following Hachiman around for a rematch just as he feared. Also that ending was hilarious Akeno having the various women around her man dress as slutty nurses just for the moment he woke up though it was adorable how happy she sounded that he did finally woke up from his brief coma that Sairaorg put him in. All in all this was an excellent chapter and I cannot wait to find out what will happen next.
