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Chapter 151: Buying Lunch
🕑 Added 2023-11-26 20:46:38 +0000 UTCIf you could call being in a coma “sleep”, Matt had slept for quite a while after Derek had caught him. Now, he felt sure he didn’t need any more rest. Without talking much, he and Lucy watched the sun rise over the scorched, leveled remains of the demon city. From what Lucy told Matt, after he collapsed, the entire set of hearts in the basement had gone up, triggered by that first big single-point blast. There was nothing left where the city used to be.
After the fight, Artemis and Derek went to make sure there really were no demons in the surrounding area, eventually sighting a few camps. They were empty. There were still-warm piles of ash around it, but nothing else. It looked like, whatever else might be the case, demons weren’t going to be much of a problem for humanity anymore.
Matt worried that maybe this was just a trick before he examined his credit token, which showed a number that put his mind at ease. Apparently, the single-handed extermination of an entire servile murder-race counted for a fair amount of cash.
After the others woke up, there was a weird period where, of all things, they seemed a little awed by Matt. He tried to temper that a bit by explaining how very stupid his plan had been in so many different ways, but it didn’t seem to help. Even the old man was apparently impressed, or at least was feeling an emotion intense enough to leave him whispering when talking.
It was the better part of the entire trek back to the capital before they calmed down and started treating him like normal again.
—
“So, do you think this is going to work?” Matt asked, gazing out at the looming human capital in the distance.
“No idea. I don’t think anyone has ever done anything like this before. I don’t think anyone even knew there was a possibility of doing anything like this before. You get up to a lot of weird shit, Matt.”
“Yeah.” Matt looked down at Lucy affectionately. “We do, don’t we?”
Lucy mimed a smack at his head. “Don’t include me in your weirdness. You already do that enough. Just get going with the shopping spree, already.”
Back when they were shopping around for material, the old man had told Matt that the credit token worked by computing some sort of internal function. In some ways, it was like a store that paid a worker’s wages based on the completion of each task, rather than a salary or hourly wage. And, the basis for these calculations was the value of each task against the overall goals of the Church.
Since the church had been founded to resist the demon lord, and since everything it had done was supposed to be for that reason, Matt’s token was now filled with somewhat more currency than was strictly reasonable. Which was, in the end, the whole reason that they had gone to fight the demon king in the first place. As reasons for ending world-conquering monsters went, it was a little underwhelming. But it had worked, and he had been paid. That was the important thing.
Matt reached into his pocket, pulled out the credit stone, braced himself, and then bought the entire Ra’Zorian capital outright. He even had enough spare cash left over for lunch, if everything wrapped up quickly enough.
—
By the time Matt and the others got to the leader’s residence, things were beginning to get a little out of hand. One thing that Matt had banked on was that the system’s automated governmental financial programming would let everyone know right away that their paychecks were no longer on their way, and it appeared it had. As much as anybody liked to claim to be committed to a cause and country, they still needed to buy groceries.
Being a palace guard, for instance, was not an exciting or fulfilling gig. Very few people do it for fun. Judging by the mass of guards outside the residence smoking, complaining, and generally trying to figure out their next move, it seemed the majority of the guards had just been revealed to be the kind who mostly in it for the pension. All it took to disable them as a fighting force was the revelation that that pension was no longer as reliable as they had hoped.
“So… are all these people going to be in trouble now? I guess I should have expected I’d crash the local economy, but I didn’t expect it to be this intense.”
“Naw, it’s okay.” Brennan grinned. “It’s basically the same situation as before, on a larger scale. You bankrupted the government, but all the money is still there. We can figure out pay later. Besides, you just opened up an entire planet for expansion. Things were going to get wacky anyway.”
Walking into the unguarded residence turned out to be a completely calm affair, not just because the guards were gone, but also because every single magical lock in the place was now keyed to open for Matt, and only Matt. Apparently most of the things thought to be the High Counselor’s were bought on the church’s dime and now, under the cold, unfeeling logic of magical accounting, belonged to Matt. There were even paintings that had apparently been enchanted to display their owner. Everyone had a hard time keeping a straight face while walking past painting after painting of Matt holding big, ornate staffs while dressed in clerical robes.
Finally, not in the audience room itself but in a small chamber behind it, they found at least one person who hadn’t already left. Seated at a desk and looking depressed was a very small, very fat man, absolutely swimming in robes that were much too big for him.
“Oh, hello,” Matt said, only slightly on his guard. It was a magical world where literally anyone could be dangerous, but this one hardly seemed the type. Still, he had his shovel in hand, something he was thankful for when the man suddenly reared around, pulled out a familiar staff from under his robes, and aimed it directly at Matt. Nothing happened.
“Do you know what you’ve done, you fool?” A high, shrill voice rang out from the tubby man. Matt hadn’t heard it before, but there was still something familiar in it, something about the timing of the speech that he could swear he had heard somewhere before.
“Alder? Is that you?” Brennan asked.
“Of course it’s me, you fool.”
Derek snorted. “What in the hell happened to you?”
The old man hung his head. “It was all in the church. Every ounce of power I had, you see. Every achievement, every buff. It came from being the head of the church. And now it’s gone, you fools. Now I have become this.” He waved a hand at his old, weak frame. “Who will protect us now? Who will save the people from the demons? You’ve doomed us.”
Artemis walked up, placing a hand on his pathetic slumped shoulder. “Well, I can’t say I’m very sorry for you, given what I’ve learned. Come with me. I’ll put you somewhere safe until this is figured out.”
After gaining general authority to open and close doors in the residence from Matt, she led him away, presumably to somewhere with sturdy, locking doors. As they departed, Artemis began to explain some of the details of their recent activities to Alder. Artemis was, in the end, a pretty good person. Alder would be locked up, maybe for a long, long time. But at least she wouldn’t let that happen without him knowing that things might not be as doomed as he thought.
—
Guards ended up being in plentiful supply as soon as word got out that Matt was the only person in the capital capable of renewing their contracts. Of course, there was some small friction over the matter of him having just executed a non-violent coup. But when Matt was backed by the combined reputation of the four most famous, respected protectors of the realm, it was sufficient to convince most people that the demon lord really was dead, the realm was safe, and even the Church itself had it coming. It seemed, based on the general reaction to the news and the people’s surprisingly ready willingness, that the church had given more than just Brennan and Derek the willies.
Lunch was similarly easy to obtain. As the group sat over a truly massive meal of sandwiches, steaks, and soup, they discussed their next moves.
“There’s gonna be work for ya, boy. A place this big doesn’t run itself. For a while, the loot will keep it going. But ya need a payroll. Ya need organization. The world can’t run itself.”
Brennan blinked, confused. “Old man, why are you telling me this?”
“Because ya are the highest ranking, most famous person in the capital? Who else?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Derek said. “You don’t want Brennan to do it. You want her.”
Artemis looked from Derek’s pointing finger up to his face. “Now what in the hell are you talking about?”
“You. You should be the president, or whatever. I can’t do it. Brennan won’t do it. Matt’s going home, and the old man might die any day.” He ignored a rude gesture from the old man as he continued. “That leaves you.”
“That’s ridiculous, Derek,” Artemis said, rolling her eyes.
The old man blinked a few times, as if considering something for the first time. He nodded, decisively. “No, no. The boy is right. Job’s yours.”
“No, it’s not, you old fart!” Artemis was standing now, yelling.
“Honey. It’s fine. You are the president.” Brennan looked up and grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry. You’re gonna do great.”
Artemis sat down, shell shocked, as Brennan and the others moved on with planning her reign without her.
“What do you think, Lucy?” Matt asked.
“Oh, absolutely. She’s the only person for the job, at least who we are sure isn’t evil. She’s going to be fantastic.”
With Lucy’s vote of approval, Matt exchanged some words with the old man, who had long experience both giving and getting payments from the governmental system. With his help, Matt searched through the system until he found the obscure, never-touched switches that did what he needed in terms of transferring both money and power to the newly appointed leader of the land.
By the time Artemis managed to shake out of her shock, she found herself the fully funded, entirely legitimate ruler of the realm.
“Long may she reign,” Matt said.
“Long may she reign,” repeated everyone, except Artemis.
—
The old man was appointed to give the news to the city. Despite Artemis being the leader, he was deemed by the group to be the only person with the right combination of loud and scary to get everyone listening. He wasn’t the world’s best speaker, but after some loud bellowing he managed to explain that Artemis was now in charge, and that over the coming days both pay and food would be sorted out.
The capital wasn’t exactly calm after that, but at least it wasn’t on the brink of all-out riot anymore. That night, the bars were packed. When the old man suggested a drink, Artemis begged to be let off the hook. The others gladly let her. She was a ball of stress, and that wasn’t going to get better until she had worn off the edges of the tension with some hardcore planning. When she left, Brennan dutifully followed behind her, smiling happily and appearing to at least half-listen as the woman he loved ran through rapid-fire stress-rambles about everything she had to do.
The old man had let everyone know that the demon lord was dead, but it was never clear to Matt of who leaked the news of how he had struck the killing blow. Once it was out, though, the tone of the evening changed entirely. Matt was feted, fed, drank well past his fill of drinks happily paid for by other people, and generally cheered in ways that normally would have made him very uncomfortable.
But whenever he was about to get stressed, he’d reach his hand into his pocket, and let the contents reassure him he had no reason to worry at all.
Return Stone
Invasion success is judged not by deaths caused, wars won, or foes slain alone. Instead, the results are tallied based on total changed caused, leaving the exact nature of that change up to the invading force.
Usually, it falls to the invading force to find their own way home. Rarely, however, it becomes indisputable that an invading force has shaken an entire world to an extent where “more change” becomes a meaningless distinction. In those cases, a return stone is supplied, signifying that the invasion force has done everything they came to do and can now return home, unimpeded, and in complete safety.
Effects: When activated, returns an invading force and as many as ten individuals of their choosing to the planet from which the invading force departed.
He didn’t have to be stressed. Whatever happened now, it was only a matter of time before he was back among the quiet people who loved plants and kindness above all other things.
He was going home.
Comments
Bakerbob
Most notable deeds. Bankrupt half a planet, kill a demon lord, genocide all demon, killed the Church and put a soldier as head of state. Result= 100+ years of chaos, collapse of government, rise of new nations and new wars
Rainer
The System never lies. It may mislead or withhold, but it can't lie. In so saying, there may be a pitstop to System town, but he will get back to his planet using that token.
sebsebs
I think all he earned during the invasion will be given once he returns home (it was stated when he first arrived)
Pineapple
I feel like it must be
Rainer
Is that all he got? He might as well have gotten a t-shirt that says "I killed the Demon Lord and bought out the Church, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." He completely upended that world. There's no BBEG, and the Church is gone and can no longer become the NEW BBEG.
Solarlancer
he just jinxed it
Lyncher98
Let's just hope it's not a trap
Lyncher98
Tftc
