RCJoshua
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Chapter 102: They Can’t All be Winners
🕑 Added 2023-10-25 15:47:27 +0000 UTCDing!
“Dammit, Barry.”
“What?”
“He’s being funny with the achievements. I wanted “Grand Gaian Savior” or something.”
“Does that matter if the loot’s good?”
“No, I guess not.”
“Then get to reading.”
Achievement: Mass Extinction Double Down
You once managed to, as far as the system understood, survive every living organism on a planet. Now, as far as the system’s rules are concerned, you’ve now done it twice. But given that you actually did it this time, and that doing it involved taking down a system-registered planetary threat in a recorded, undeniably rad way, this is an even bigger deal.
You know what makes it even bigger? You essentially did it at level zero. I’m not even kidding. You are so under-leveled for doing this kind of thing solo that the levels you do have don’t make a difference. Literally. This is an SSS, full-points-for-cool-suicidal-bullshit win.
Normally, this is the part where I’d give you so much stuff that you couldn’t actually carry it. I’m talking armor that would let you stand in a butane fire type of stuff. Swords that could cut the very heavens in twain. I started to, but before I could actually do get the job done, I got interrupted by the darnedest thing.
The Gaian Defense System, for the record, is not a person, at least to the extent I can tell. And I can’t really tell what it’s trying to do. But I can tell it’s trying to mess with the rewards somehow. For some reason, it's working in some ways and not in others. And this next part is hard to explain, but in the general sense that systems work, this looks like it’s waiting for clearance.
That can’t come from me. I tried. And there’s no way it’s asking the system instance. As far as I can tell, it’s waiting on you.
The rest of this stuff is, believe it or not, is just the scraps of energy the defense system left behind for me to work with. The scraps, Matt. Whatever this thing is doing, it’s big. But even the scraps are a lot, and the rules just about demand I do a lot of weird, rule-bending stuff with it. That’s the kind of available energy you get when you detonate a god-tier plant hard enough to tear apart a whole bunker of god-tier metal, I guess.
Anyway, here’s your stuff. I think it’s probably close to what you need right now. And don’t freak out about the stats. It’s basically compulsory as a catch-up at this point, and I honestly don’t know how the system has been dodging it this long.
Rewards: 1x Estate Rollback Token, 1x Single-structure Repair Token, Gaian Commando Survival Armor Set, 1x Armament Enchantment Token, 1x Enchanted Washing Station, 1x Bar of Soap, +50 to all primary stats, +20 to all secondary stats, a flat increase of 15 levels to Battlefield Survivor, and all skills normalized to level 15.
“Oh, wow.” Matt goggled at the increase before the sheer power of everything knocked him to his knees. “Oh, shit.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m more than fucking okay. I’m pretty sure I’m superman now.” He tried to stand up, and accidentally launched himself a full foot in the air in the process. “Lots of stats. LOTS of stats. Why are you moving so slow?”
“Why are you acting like you drank a whole pot of coffee?”
“I think Barry just caught me up on all the levels and stats the system has been cheating me out of in one go. I’m…” Matt tried to take a step and accidentally launched himself several feet forward. “I’m going to have to get used to it. Sorry.”
Dizzy, he sat on the ground to go over the rest of the rewards. Zooming in on them provided him information on each, no appraisal rod required.
Estate Rollback Token
Usable as either a mass-repair item, or simply as a method of reversing bad decorating choices. Based on your intent, it rolls back your estate to a form it held in the last Gaian year.
This token cannot be used to restore sentient beings back to life, or to repair any damage that didn’t occur to the object within the borders of the estate during the same time one-year time period.
Single-Structure Repair Token
Completely repairs one structure either purchased from the system or constructed by humans, or Gaians. To be eligible, the item has to fit certain criteria having to do with being built as one unified object for a single purpose. As an example, almost every fortress would qualify, but very few towns would satisfy the requirements, regardless of size.
If used with the Rollback token, any new additions to the estate that occurred after the rollback will be temporarily stored in the estate system as no-cost purchases available to redeem at any time.
Gaian Commando Armor Set
The Gaian Commando set is a high-tier armor with medium-high resistance to all mechanical damage, mild resistance to most kinds of common elemental damage, and a small chance to avoid some kinds of biological damage completely.
The Gaian Commando Armor set is enchanted to conceal you in both low light environments and when hiding in brush or other plant life. It also possesses self-repair and self-cleaning enchantments and will continue to maintain itself so long as at a chunk comprising at least 25% of the original garment remains.
Armament Enchantment Token
Compels the system to bestow one randomly selected enchantment on one piece of equipment.
Enchanted Washing Station
It's a bathtub. The enchanted washing station is composed of a large, opaque compartment in which two spouts are contained. On command, a flow of water will either fill a large basin within the compartment or continuously shower down water from above the user. Based on user commands, the water can be any temperature between freezing and slightly over halfway to boiling.
Bar of Soap
A large bar of soap.
“Shit. Fuck. Wow. Barry, you… Lucy, we have to figure out how to give Barry presents. I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense. Unbalanced friendships like this aren’t healthy. We need to figure out something.”
“What’s going on?”
“He gave me a shower.” Matt absentmindedly reached up to his head and shook some of the accumulated dust and ash out of his hair. “I thought I was a hero now, but he’s putting me to shame.”
Matt had an idea of how to use the enchantment. He was eager to try out his new armor. He had an incredibly strong urge to use both of his repair tokens. But some things just took priority over other things, and he was getting that shower as soon as possible.
He just had to remember how to walk first.
—
An hour or so later, in the center of the ruins of his estate, Matt emerged from the washing station. For the first time in what felt like years, he was completely clean, dressed in a completely clean, brand-spanking-new set of survival armor. It had turned out there was even a mirror in the station, and he had managed to leverage his STR and DEX into letting him give himself a shave and haircut with his shovel that bordered on not-quite-disastrous.
He was a completely new man.
“Matt, that’s…” Lucy looked at Matt with an odd half-smile. “Huh.”
“What?”
“It’s just that I was thinking Barry was silly for giving you that thing. But now I’m not so sure.”
“Is this going to be where you reveal you could smell me the whole time?”
Lucy shook her head. “No, it’s just… I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time.”
Matt beamed down at her. “Lucy, I haven’t even thought about taking a real shower in over a year. I had written it off. This is… I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s like eating a meal when you are really hungry, or something. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”
“Well, I’m glad. It’s just too bad that everything’s ash now. That clean probably won’t last long.”
Matt reached into the tattered remains of his pack, which he had left on the ground near the washing station.
“Well, no. I think we can avoid that, at least.” Pulling the rollback token out, he thought of a time just before Leel started to screw around with things, before various plants were trampled in fights and before the Scourge had laid waste to everything else. As the token disappeared, the entire estate pulsed with light so bright, Matt had to close his eyes to it to protect them.
When he opened them again, everything was back. Ape-bees buzzed heavily through the surrounding air, on their way to the Gaian Victory plants they loved. Just as a test, he walked over to an Apiary and pulled out a finger of honey, shivering as it repaired the last of the damage to his mana.
Whooping with unexpected joy, he flared Spring Fighter, using its enhanced level to close the distance to the museum much faster than he had ever been able to before. He left a furrow in the soil as he skidded to a stop at the base of the spire and immediately used his structure repair token on it.
There was no flash of light this time. Instead, the entire building creaked and popped as it subtly reordered itself. Holes in the exterior mended themselves, while the entire building seemed to straighten and correct its general shape. Dust fell all around him as the building shed centuries of accumulated grime. Matt had to use every bit of his stats getting out of the way as the loose pieces fell, narrowly avoiding getting dirty and needing another hour-long shower to feel right.
The whole process took about five minutes. When it was done, the spire of the museum stood before him, perfect. Matt understood why people would be excited to visit it now. It looked like a place adventures started. It looked magical.
But before he could actually go in, he had one last thing to do. Since Barry had told him about the Gaian defense system waiting for permission, he had become aware of a slight pulling in that direction, like a question hanging somewhere deep inside himself waiting to be answered. It was like when he knew that he was forgetting, but not enough to remember what exactly he had forgotten.
Without much hesitation, he reached into the part of himself that held his authority, and tried his hardest to say “go ahead”.
Ding!
Gaian authority increased.
It was the shortest system message Matt had ever seen.
“Oh, huh. More authority, Lucy.”
Lucy shrugged. “They can’t all be winners, I guess.”
“What do you mean? It’s authority. You get all excited about the authority. It’s part of your brand, even.”
“Well, yeah. But you’ve had enough authority to do anything you need to do. You can open doors. You can authorize new skills. You're pretty much the emperor of the planet, or at least much more of it than you could realistically use. What do you need more of it for? Barry could have given you Excalibur, Matt. He could have given you bath bombs.”
Matt wasn’t so sure. So far, the Gaian system had lived up to its promise in doing almost exactly what the system didn’t want. The first skill, Palate of the Conqueror, lived up to that promise. Even the small amount of authority he seemed to need to open doors had saved his life on more than one occasion, even if it wasn’t in very exciting ways.
He wanted to think the same was true here, even if he couldn’t see it yet.
Comments
Bless Adjaino
Just finished the first book. Is this the second book?
R.C. Joshua
Ha, probably should have, honestly. So much to do and so few words!
Dylan Fu
No “I Fought the Scourge and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt” shirt?
