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Wearing Power Armor to a Magic School (128/?)

🕑 Added 2025-05-04 21:15:52 +0000 UTC

Comments

tonright

Please don't interpret this as hate. I very much enjoy your story (That's why I've been here for so long, years at this point.) but this: “And the same device with which you impressed the library with.” drives me absolutely INSANE! Aaaaaah! "with which you impressed the library" "that you impressed the library with" Both of those work just fine, but this bookending things with the same word twice is so SO irritating. I'm only leaving this comment because it occurred to me while reading this chapter that you might genuinely just not know that it is abnormal. The rest of your work is quite clean and you clearly put effort in to sentence structure and flow in your revisions. Maybe another language you use regularly does structure sentences that way (?). I'm not sure which tool you write your stories in but I'm pretty sure it should be giving you the squiggly blue line unless you disabled that. From time to time you'll say things like "of which he was afraid of", or "for which he was grateful for", "to which he was walking to", "from which he was running from" and I get that cartoon forehead popping vein every time. Sorry if this reads like a complaint. I didn't intend for it to be at all mean spirited!

Michael Halpern

Given how Ilunor described a bomb that by means of mana is capable of destroying a city, and how prior to that an interest in Earth's military capabilities as they relate to rockets was expressed, i think I have a pretty good idea of what's coming

Google Google

I'm very curious what would be the next thing Emma will give the the team the tour of her world. Will it be how electricity and computers function. Or how mega industry works. Or even better how warfare started.


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