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Professor McGonagall's Had Enough of Your Bull
🕑 Added 2023-09-29 20:01:49 +0000 UTCA.N: Hi guys, I thought I'd start a little series called 'Professor McGonagall's Had Enough of Your Bull', a series of one shots in which Professor McGonagall calls out several people over stupid decisions. Something to tide you guys over as I finish writing up chapters.
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Chapter 1 : Miss Granger and the Time Turner.
"Come in," Professor McGonagall called when she heard a knock on her door interrupt her as she marked homework. 'Honestly, how the hell did the Weasley twins come to the conclusion that transfiguration increases testosterone?' She mentally thought as she looked over their essays before looking up and seeing Hermione Granger enter the room. "Ah, Miss Granger, how may I help you?"
"Good afternoon, Professor," Hermione greeted her. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about our electives next year."
"Ah, yes, of course, what do you wish to discuss, Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked patiently, putting her quill down and giving Hermione her full attention.
"Well, you know how I was petrified and missed a few months of school?" Hermione asked.
"It was hard to miss," Professor McGonagall stated dryly. "What of it, Miss Granger?" She asked.
"Well, it's related to what I want to ask. You see, I know my grades could have been better if I hadn't been petrified and had to spend ages catching up, and I was looking through our electives and apparently, we are only allowed to choose a maximum of three."
"Yes," Professor McGonagall confirmed with a nod.
"Well, I was kind of hoping I could do all of them," Hermione admitted.
"I'm sorry," Professor McGonagall blinked. "All of what?" She couldn't help but ask.
"All of the electives, Professor McGonagall," Hermione answered.
"I must admit that you have me in a state of confusion," Professor McGonagall confessed. "Let me try and get this straight. Now, you want to do all of the electives?" She asked.
"Yes, Professor McGonagall." Hermione nodded in confirmation.
"Alright, well, ancient runes and arithmancy are both very valuable subjects that can help lead to a large variety of jobs so they're both great choices. Care of magical creatures has a smaller job range but can also be very helpful, even in a day-to-day situation. There's nothing wrong in knowing about magical creatures after all. The three of them on their own are more than enough to keep you busy for the whole year. Why would you need the other two?"
"Well, divination sounds positively fascinating," Hermione began. "I mean, using magic to use the future."
"Miss Granger, divination is an imprecise branch of magic," Professor McGonagall huffed. "It's often quite useless to those that do not possess the ability of a seer, most simply go there for an easy grade. And sometimes the occasional whiskey."
"I...wait what?"
"Professor Trewlany has enough to spare," Professor McGonagall shrugged. "Even though we repeatedly tell her not to do so."
"Oh," Hermione blinked and took a moment to process that.
"What about muggle studies?" Professor McGonagall couldn't help but ask. "Now, correct me if I am wrong but you are Miss Hermione Granger, correct?"
"I am, Professor," Hermione confirmed, sounding confused by the question.
"And once more, please correct me if I am wrong, but you are a muggleborn, are you not?"
"I...well, yes, yes I am."
"Meaning you not only were born in the muggle world, but you actively grew up in it for all of your life before I introduced you to the wizarding world, correct?"
"Yes, Professor,"
"So, please do tell me why on Earth would you want to waste not only your time but your teachers and attend a class that you could probably teach yourself?" Professor McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow at Hermione who shifted awkwardly in her seat.
"Well, I...just thought that it would be fascinating," Hermione confessed. "I would just like to know what muggles look like from a wizarding perspective, that's all." She added.
"From a wizarding..." Professor McGonagall trailed off and stared at her for a good few seconds, causing Hermione's face to turn red as she tried not to twitch under her gaze. "Miss Granger," Professor McGonagall eventually spoke once again. "Tell me, do you perhaps know a boy named 'Ronald Weasley'? He's in your year, has red hair, hangs around with Harry Potter, is possibly a bit of a gold digger, doesn't brush his teeth as often as he should and changes his underwear even less than that."
"I...I know who Ronald Weasley is, Professor," Hermione said quietly, feeling very confused.
"Tell me, is Mr Weasley a muggleborn?"
"Well, no, he is not,"
"Then why don't you ask him?" Professor McGonagall asked genuinely. "If not him then what about Mr Longbottom, the other Weasleys or any of the other hundreds of pureblood students or magically raised half-bloods in this school? Why would you instead take an entire course with all of the homework that comes with it? If you're truly that interested then why not come to me or one of your other teachers and find out what we know about muggles? I'll tell you what the average wizard and witch knows about muggles, jack-shit is what." She said bluntly, shocking Hermione. "What exactly was it that you were hoping for, Miss Granger?"
"Well..." Hermione stuttered for a second before finally blurting out her answer. "I was hoping I could get a time-turner!"
"Say what?" She blinked hard, doing an accurate imitation of what a confused owl would look like.
"A time-turner, Professor," Hermione repeated. "I was hoping I could get one. I read up about them and thought that if I got one then I could attend all the electives at once."
"Right, I would like to congratulate you, Miss Granger."
"Congratulate me? For what?"
"For now becoming my third favourite student this year," Professor McGonagall told her. "You used to be a bit higher but after this conversation, I have decided to give that spot to Harry Potter instead."
"But...but what did I...wait a sec...who is the second?!"
"Neville Longbottom," Professor McGonagall told her with barely a wasted second. "He's funny to watch," She added before Hermione could ask. "Turned his water goblet into apple juice the other day, it landed in his eyes, fun times." She said with an amused smile on her face. "Anyway, do you know what a time-turner is?"
"It's a device that allows you to travel through time and is..."
"Heavily monitored by the Ministry of Magic," Professor McGonagall cut her off. "We didn't even use them after my new favourite student's parents died. After all, do you know what happens if a stray wizard messes up the timeline?"
"I...think that..."
"It would be far too destructive to describe! The universe would collapse...like Mr Malfoy's without Crabbe and Goyle...or Mr Malfoy without his father...or Mr Malfoy without his hair products! Illegally possessing one results in a life sentence to Azkaban if - and only if - the ministry is nice enough to not give them the dementor's kiss."
"What's that?"
"Like the death penalty but through kissing,"
"That sounds oddly nice,"
"It's not!" Professor McGonagall told her firmly. "My point, Miss Granger is that nobody and I mean nobody with a single lick of common sense would ever, ever give a teenager a device to turn back time just so she could complete some extra lessons that she is not required or even told to do, especially when she doesn't need all of them. Nobody, and I mean nobody in this school, this country, the country next to it, in Europe - even this entire planet - would be stupid enough to give a powerful time-travelling device to a teenager!"
"Well," Hermione let out a deep sigh as she walked out of Professor McGonagall's office. "That went nowhere near as well as I would have hoped."
"Hey!" A voice whispered. "Hey! Psst! Over hear!" The same voice called, Hermione spun around and saw a door slightly open with Professor Dumbledore sticking his head out and peering around to make sure nobody else was around.
"Professor?"
"Granger!" Dumbledore whisper-shouted as he pulled out a brown bag with what looked like a dozen time-turners inside. "I heard you want some of the good stuff?"
(.)
A.N: Hi guy, I hope you like this. It's just a little thing to tide you over as I finish writing up a few chapters, work has kept me really busy so I've not had as much time recently to write. There should hopefully be a new chapter of Magical Spider released tomorrow (that's if you're reading this on the 29/09/2023), I am also halfway through a chapter for Hydrus Black and will be working on Silver King in between those two. As for Emerald Dragon, I'll try to get a new chapter up early next month.
Thanks for reading this, let me know if you like it and if you have any suggestions for future scenes.
Comments
Kurozake
The ending was glorious :D
Michael McEwan
I'd kinda like a scene of McGonagall going to visit the Dursley household
