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Experimental Content Ahead!
🕑 Added 2023-06-05 05:29:05 +0000 UTCHello there! I figured I'd chime in after I went to Sizecon! As someone who does mostly macro content but does not have it as a kink, it was relieving that there is still a place for me in the size community. I had a blast, and met some very cool people! However, the con, the diversity of kinks under the size umbrella, and the panels I went to did give me a lot to think about.
I'm thinking of expanding the pool of kinks I lean towards. I already did this a bit with hyper, vore, and pup stuff. However, I want to do more diverse stuff. I did state this on my twitter, but I feel more comfortable saying stuff here that I don't want to say on a completely public platform.
I've said it multiple times here though: I am a macro artist through "osmosis". I don't have it as a kink, and merely continued to do it after an abusive relationship. This means I have a complicated relationship with it. I enjoy it don't get me wrong, but it means I have to rely on auxiliary reasons in order to stay on task when drawing it. As of late, my macro content has felt same-ey which has made it very hard to stay focused on it and want to do it. Due to having ADHD, that auxiliary reason has to be genuine and consistent.
However, I'm pretty stubborn. Some of that interest was in churning out nothing less than my best work and in doing so giving people more than what they paid for. That was at the cost of my own mental health, and my physical health at times. It wasn’t uncommon for me to park myself in front of the computer for 8-12 hours at a time all because I needed to get work done, and that i'd fallen behind. not for a lack of wanting, but bc I physically could not force myself to create. I never really said anything to clients because I fully believed it was my fault and tried to make up for it with free upgrades. This ended up costing me dearly in recovery time, and resulted in an unhealthy relationship with my artwork.
This was also a mistake, as it perpetuated this standard that I kept having to rise above my last piece. When inevitably walking that back and raising my prices is necessary (which is already done for now), I worry people will see “flats” or “shaded” or “clean linework” and get upset that I have to change what that means for me. I don’t want to be considered “lazy” when the alternative has been burning me so hard that I need to make these changes.
On top of that, you’d have these streaks of resentment that cropped up that made me feel obligated to keep making only macro stuff. Not even bc I didn't want to! But there was an expectation that art I made had to be macro, and that I was bricked up for giant furries every time.
What's my solution though?
Well, for my personal work i'm gonna lean into some stuff I've been drawing just for myself. Hyper, Breast Expansion, Vore, maybe some other content that I have to parse out before I commit to trying it. Make no mistake though, Macro isn't going away at all! There's just going to be a little less of it past prior obligations (or some stuff where macro is there, but as an amplifier rather than front and center).
I'll label each piece in the title so you may skip it if you do not wish to see it. If i vibe with it, I'll post more of it. This does mean that even if i draw it here, I may not accept it as a commission subject matter, especially if i do not vibe with it. Shit's gonna be a little weird for a while so please bear with me.
