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"Don't Worry About It" Storytime
🕑 Added 2022-07-27 03:42:12 +0000 UTCI initially had this under the piece, but I ultimately decided against it. This is purely an optional read for those who want to pick my brain on what goes on behind the scenes.
As an artist I've been trying to figure out a solution to an issue i've had for a while. Generally speaking I love drawing macro! It's pretty fun to play with. however, I never really considered it to be the face of my art presence online. Sometimes i'm fine with this. I love that people love my art, no matter what i'm doing. but sometimes it does bother me. Me being a macro artist is residual from when I was in an abusive relationship. by the time the actual relationship fizzled i already had a presence for it online. It became pretty hard to branch out. And later on when my abuser was forcing me out of spaces and defaming myself and others behind my back, The lack of reception or feedback for my non macro art effectively made me feel trapped.
While I will again stress I do enjoy drawing it, it's been a complicated subject for me to draw, especially when I get those moods that its all people want from me. Macro for the most part is technically intensive. Buildings, scale, perspective, detail. they're all things that do take time, research and practice, especially for a "literal" artist like me. That's not even counting that it is a reminder of my trauma. In some aspects I wouldn't even have the friends and supporters I do if not for his fetishes. I wouldn't have it any other way, don't get me wrong. there's something empowering about owning the hand you're given. Hell, I'd normally keep this public but my abuser is the type that would be pleased to be living in someone's head rent free cause "his existence affects me".
In a way though, even talking about the complicated nature of my art process and even admitting about the streaks of resentment is a lot like biting the hand that feeds you. In some cases I don't think anyone would blame me if i stepped away from macro entirely. However I do very much enjoy drawing it still. So I devised a bit of a solution for this issue where I'd keep it artistic liberty for the most part: a few keywords, some boundaries on the client's part, and i have a bit of fun with it! Lemme know what you think.
