maldfrogsclub
patreon
ANIMT - Episodes 45-47
🕑 Added 2022-01-14 12:25:17 +0000 UTCANIMT - Chapter 45. Boundaries
I Got An Extra Six Months of Life Expectancy, And Now It’s My Time
“You were supposed to be unable to use magic after your magic power was drained, but somehow you ended up in this magic school. Then, sure enough, I heard the voices.”
The words spun by this woman, along with the wind that caressed my ears, violated my ears.
“For the first time in my life, I succumbed entirely to the voices. I should have known that anything related to my mother would be particularly vulnerable. I was so upset and impatient that my mind started to go blank, and before I could fight it, I lost consciousness. When I came to, you were lying at the bottom of the stairs.”
Her snow-white fingertips were gently placed on the fence, reflecting the sun. They were pure white.
Taking in the sight, I was reminded of that day, right before my life ended, as she pushed me down those stairs.
“Even if you don’t remember it after falling unconscious, I used magic to sneak up on you and push you down. I was so shaken by the gravity of my crime that I ran away without checking.”
“You are aware of the fact that you harmed me. No, even if you are not aware of it, you have to accept that this is your sin, right?”
“Yes. Even if the magic power took over my consciousness and body, I am still the one who did it. It was certainly my sin to bear… So, the next day… The next day, I saw you walking down the corridor normally from a distance. I was relieved from the bottom of my heart. There was no noticeable sign of trauma. You had somehow survived by chance. I’m not so strong as to be able to ignore the consequences of my actions… But I was relieved… ”
Oh, I see. Even she, the murderer, didn’t know what really happened.
I’m actually dead.
The truth is that she didn’t almost kill me, she actually killed me.
My life and light were extinguished by this person. Because of this, I only have a little time left…
An indescribable feeling welled up inside me. The person who took my life didn’t know that I was dead, which they should if there was any justice in this world.
The truth of the matter was brought home to me once again, and I opened the lid on my suppressed emotions. The hatred and resentment towards the person who had killed me, which had been smoldering deep inside me since I had met her, slowly overflowed inside my chest, and there was no stopping it.
If I had voices trying to take over my body and consciousness, as Hiiragi Yukino did, it definitely would be whispering right now. I’m sure it would be telling me to take revenge.
It was as if a thick, black liquid was being poured into my chest, drop by drop. Each drop was a harsh and bitter mix of emotion that turned into a burning, fierce sensation, indelibly staining my heart black. The poisonous thoughts slowly seeped through my body; it was painful.
“Ugh!”
There’s no place to let it out, no way to process it, this rush of bad feelings. Covering my mouth, I suppressed the urge to throw up. My legs began to wobble, threatening to send me tumbling. Just as I was about to lose my balance, someone supported my back.
There was only one person…
“Kitora.”
“Are you sure there are no after-effects or injuries from when you were thrown down the stairs?”
“Yes, yes.”
I’m not sure if it was just a shadow, but I could feel the outline of a tiger behind him staring at me. I’m not sure what to make of this.
“In fact, even now, there’s a possibility that she’s still trying to kill you by making you let your guard down like that, isn’t there?”
However, despite the rage in his strong eyes, he gently placed a hand on my shoulder to reassure me. It’s so warm. The existence of a person who is really angry for my sake and tries their best to protect me.
It diluted the black poison in my heart.
I let out a breath. It had been a while since I last recalled breathing, and I know that I feel calmer now.
I’m really sorry for getting you into this mess, but…
I’m really glad you’re here…
No, I can’t say that either.
“I told you. Not long ago, I was relieved to learn that you were alive, but at the same time, I was anguishing about what to do about the dwindling magic. The voices commanded me to erase you again. But I don’t want to commit any more irreversible sins. But my magical energy is dwindling while I remain undecided. It’s a contradiction, and I’ve been living in a constant state of frustration and conflict.”
“… The day of the opening ceremony and the magic mock battles. I’m not sure if you remember it, but I sure do. It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one glaring at me with such killing intent, weren’t you?”
“Yes. If I meet you, the voices will take my consciousness and body at once again. That’s why I was so careful not to run into you, but when I saw you at the opening ceremony… I only lost consciousness for a moment and managed to come to my senses quickly, but I remember being terribly frightened as I could tell how unstable I was.”
Because of this situation, she did not have the time to worry about losing her diary.
“I received news that shook the very foundations of who I am as a person.”
“That is, Setsuka-san… ”
“Yes. My mother, Hiiragi Setsuka, died.”
I’m not sure what to make of that. The expression on the face of the girl who mentioned the death of her beloved mother remained unmoved. The light within her eyes, something I thought I had glimpsed, was nowhere to be seen, and it seemed that her heart was still submerged beyond the surface of the water. The girl continued to move her mouth with a film of water covering her gray eyes, not even showing the slightest ripple of disturbance.
“I heard that my mother was so frail and overworked that she suddenly collapsed in the lab. I’m sure you’re already aware of that, though… And with my mother’s death, I was made aware of another one of my sins.”
“Another sin… ?”
“It’s not only that I’ve tried to kill you, or that I’ve taken the source of your magic and distorted the lives of many others. My mother’s death was my fault, too.”
“Ehh… ?”
I’m not sure what to make of this.
I gently stepped away from Kitora’s body and took a step forward, signaling for her to continue.
“All my life, I have lived only for my mother’s research and success. In order to do so, I have made great sacrifices and committed many crimes. The reason why I continued to work for the institute despite my doubts and wavering was because I thought my mother wanted me to… But this was not the case.”
“It wasn’t?”
“Yes, it was different. My mother didn’t want me to use the magic I took from others to make medicine.”
“No!”
I gasped and froze.
“What do you mean? You’re the one who developed the drug, right?”
In response to my question, Hiiragi Yukino revealed another hidden truth that was too cruel for a girl her age to bear.
“The day I was told of my mother’s death, I wandered off to the house where I had spent so much time with her. In front of the house, there was a man who said he had helped my mother. He told me the truth about her. For a long time, I thought that my mother had willingly joined the research institute to develop a drug that she had longed for, but that was not the case. She did it all for me, you know?”
“For you?”
“The two of us, mother and daughter, had no relatives. No one to turn to. My mother was sickly and weak, and she was always worried about how long she would be able to support her daughter on her own. She was also worried that she might have to leave her daughter alone without any support. In anticipation of this, the people at the institute approached her with a proposal. They told her that if she lent them money for their research, they would spare no effort to help her in any way. They would not involve her in their research, and they would promise to take care of her at the institute after her death, affording her a comfortable life.”
“My mother told me that she accepted the offer after some hesitation because she was in a hurry and had nowhere else to put her trust.”
As she said this, Hiiragi Yukino’s eyes were not here, but far away in the sky.
However, if it was as assistant-san had told me, it would change the image I had of Hiiragi Setsuka. I thought she was a mother who prioritized the development of drugs over her own daughter, but it seems that the drugs were secondary to her daughter’s happiness.
But then…
“Oh, but what about that letter then? If you’re telling the truth, she probably wouldn’t want you to be involved in dangerous research. I’m sure the lab promised not to get involved either. But… the letter… and her request for assistance… ”
“My mother had no idea that I was doing anything to help her develop the drug. The letter was a fake, prepared by the laboratory.”
“Fake… ”
“In order to take advantage of both of us, we were separated and manipulated to prevent each other from understanding what was happening.”
I have no sympathy or pity for the pair, but…
This is the only thing I can say that really makes me sick to my stomach. The way the lab worked was outrageous, cruel, vicious, and sinful to the extreme.
“In addition, although my mother devised the recipe for the drug, she was opposed to stealing magic power from people right until the end. In order to stop the lab, and I guess me, she tried to create the drug in a different way without requiring a sacrifice. She must have spent a lot of time researching alone, and probably without much sleep. I’m sure you’ll agree with me… All I’ve done is push my mother to her grave.”
“And you think you are the cause of your mother’s death?”
“Yes. When I heard this story, I felt like I was falling apart. As soon as I heard the voices telling me to destroy everything, I lost consciousness and just kept on raging. When I came to, my house was half destroyed, and if they hadn’t stopped me… it would have been much worse, I’m sure.”
That was the third time she had completely let go of her consciousness. But, upon learning a truth like that, it may be impossible to maintain your strength of mind.
“I’m not sure if it’s because I used a lot of magic, but my source of the magic has calmed down, and I haven’t heard any voices for a while. But I’m sure it’s only temporary, and I’ll hear them again soon. I don’t know what it will whisper to me next time, but I don’t have the strength to resist it. There is no point in desperately trying to keep myself alive. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I don’t have the strength to fight it.”
“That’s why you were out here… ”
----Is she planning to jump off?
The woman quietly lowered her eyes, as if sensing my voiceless question.
“I already told you. Even if I can manage to resist it, for now, I’m sure that the day will come when I will be completely taken over by the magic I stole. If I don’t want to continue living in fear until the day I lose myself, and if I have no other reason to live, taking my own life while I am still myself sounds the best… Above all, doing this will give me some peace of mind, especially since I know everything now… ”
“I hate myself and what I have become… ”
“I hate the institute for deceiving the two of us, but I hate myself more than that. I hate myself for clinging to that false letter, for backing my mother into a corner, for distorting people’s lives, and for nearly killing you. I’m so stupid and ridiculous, I can’t help but hate myself. And I can only atone for my sins with my death. When I die, all the magic in my body will disappear. If you are the source of most of that power, it will all return to you. The magic-enhancing drug will be lost, and no one will be able to make more, as I am the only one able to use that forbidden magic. In some small way, I can make amends to those I have sinned against while taking revenge on the institute.”
She spoke in rapid succession before abruptly concluding.
Mourning her mother, who was everything to her in the world, and only having a short period of consciousness and life left, she must be hoping to make amends and take revenge while she can.
Hiiragi Yukino must have reached that conclusion, and is here now to die.
When I heard the woman’s words about dying, I felt a black wave form in my chest again.
This was not the same hatred-filled feeling I felt before.
This emotion is…
“… These words are all I have to offer. I’m done talking, and will leave now.”
Hiiragi Yukino’s gaze was directed at the ground far below. The figure of the woman standing behind the fence swayed with the evening darkness, and I choked and stiffened at the hint of death before my eyes.
The rusty fence was like a boundary between life and death.
I have words to deliver to this girl.
I should say them and stop her…
Contrary to my noble intentions, my fingertips and lips did not move at all. Once again, I was almost swallowed up by the unique atmosphere of this girl.
I now stood between life and death. And the only thing that came to mind was that the air was so inhospitable.
“Since this’ll be the last time, I’ll say it. I’m going to say this for the last time, to Nobana Mitsuba, to all the people who I took away magic from, and to my mother. It’s not something I can apologize for, but I’m sorry… ”
“Ah!”
“I really don’t know how I ended up like this. I was just trying to help my mother. Oh, no. I just wanted to make her happy. Oh, that’s different too. I just want to… ”
The woman clutched her forehead tightly.
I wonder if my heart, which should have sunk to the bottom of the sea by now, is rapidly returning to the surface?
Against a fantastic backdrop of a red and purple-colored sky, a gold light bloomed.
“I just wanted my… mother to… call me by my name, “Yuki,” and laugh with me again!”
This was the first time I had seen the true nature of the human called Hiiragi Yukino.
She let out a sigh and leaned her body forward, away from the fence.
----
Chapter brought to you by The Patrons.
TLC: Dima
RW: askinkov90
ED: Purplemen101
QC: Message us on Discord if you want to join us
ANIMT - Chapter 46. Lamentations of Mitsuha
I Got An Extra Six Months of Life Expectancy, And Now It’s My Time
The moment I saw Hiiragi Yukino’s true emotions show, the spell that bound my body was broken, and before I could even think about it, I moved towards the woman who was about to sink with the setting sun.
“Aah!”
As I ran, I could tell that I wasn’t going to be able to grab the woman’s arm on the other side of the fence.
Movement magic, the first and only skill I learned at this school.
Of course, there was no guarantee that I would be able to move a human body with this spell, and her weight far exceeded what I could control. But it was my last option; using magic where brute force fails.
“Kitora!”
I called out his name with all of my might, and he seemed to understand what I was saying, without the need for words. This reminded me of the combo moves we used in the magic mock battles.
It was only a moment later that I realized that my mind had been wandering. I quickly activated my movement magic. I shook off the unusual tiredness that had dulled my senses and ran over to the girl.
Yuki Hiragi, who was sitting on the cold ground with her long hair and uniform disheveled, seemed unable to keep up with the situation and stared at me in a daze.
I sat down in front of her, and I…
*Slap*
“… ”
I raised my right hand as far back as I could and slapped her flat on her snow-white cheek without mercy. She was not thinking properly, and her eyes blinked slowly. Pouring out all of my emotions, I slapped her as hard as I could.
“… Fuck you!”
I’m not sure where the voice came from, but it was so sharp that it echoed throughout the area, shaking even the fence as well as the air itself.
The girl’s gray eyes, framed by her long eyelashes, widened slightly.
It was the first time I really hit someone. My right hand had gone numb.
Looking at her pitiful figure, I hurled words at her from close range.
“What, what, ‘I don’t know why I’m still alive’! You’re just trying to escape from life by making a bunch of nonsense to justify your selfishness! I’ll pay for it by dying?! Death and revenge? Don’t be silly!”
My brain was aching from one end to the other, and I couldn’t keep up with the rush of emotions and thoughts. I can’t organize my words, I don’t understand what I’m saying, and my lips just keep moving on their own.
The woman’s tight grip on her emotions wasn’t the only thing moved by the wind. It seems that my suppressed passions were unleashed as well. The emotions swirling in my chest right now are all ugly and dirty. As a matter of course, hatred for this person is still lurking deep inside, and it persistently tries to turn my heart black.
The strongest feeling I have now is hatred.
This is boiling anger and gnashing of teeth level of frustration.
But the longer this anger simmers, the more it turns to regret.
“… In addition, you said. You weren’t sure what you could do. You lived on the edge for your mother, but now she is gone. That with her death there was no longer any point living. That you would give up your life while you still could, on your own terms.”
These words touched me deeply. Our situations were very different, although we may both be living on borrowed time.
But this person was trying to run away from her sins and end it all by dying, while she still had time to struggle!
I can’t relate to hearing voices and slowly losing one’s grip on their sanity. But I know it can be resisted. Hiiragi Yukino had resisted so far, after all. She still had time to fight against that fear and mental erosion.
“Even though your mother, the meaning of your life, is gone. Even if you hate yourself as much as you do. You have to live! Even if you hate yourself to the point of hurting yourself, live! If you don’t, then I will… !”
You took my life.
I was then given an extension of six months to live.
I’m desperately clinging to my limited, little life right now.
“Isn’t it miserable… ?”
The lump of thought that came out as if squeezing it out with a blood-curdling force was sucked into the space between the setting sun and the darkness.
I bit my lip to hold back the heat from my eyes. I don’t want to shed tears in front of this person.
I’m sorry.
I regret that the person who took my life tried to throw away their own life so easily.
The life and time that I now hold more precious than anything else. The person who took it away from me, the person who can so easily give up his life and time.
I’m so frustrated and angry that I can’t stand it.
I know that I am actually dead and only have a short time left to live, but I don’t even know where I stand any more. I’m not going to reveal that here to her or to anyone else. I don’t think I can give a good explanation, and I don’t think they’ll believe that I’m living on borrowed time due to an angel’s interference. It all sounds ridiculous.
From the start, this is a secret that I swore to myself not to share with anyone.
That’s why, Shiratama… no, I’m sure that no one can understand my anger and frustration.
Even so, I can’t help but scream, my throat belting out in a deafening voice.
“I will not allow you, who hurt me, to choose your own death… No matter what the reason, I will never forgive you! You must live to atone for your sins. If you want to take revenge on the institute, do it while you are alive! You have to make the most of the time you have left, and live with your sins until the very end!”
----That’s the only way you can make amends to me, I’m sure.
But these were my true feelings that I had to share with the one who had hurt me.
I tightened my tear glands, which would loosen if I relaxed even the slightest, and stared straight at the woman. Her vague, glassy eyes reflected my ragged, terrible face.
In the reddish-purple sunlight, I wonder how long the two of us looked at each other.
Then, Hiiragi Yukino opened her mouth.
“Nobana Mitsuba, you are… ”
She was trying to say something to me.
However, my head was shaking unsteadily, and the expression and voice of the woman in front of me began to fade from my consciousness.
“… ”
The woman’s outline melted into the shadows and faded from sight.
“Mitsuba!”
The only thing that reached my ears was her voice, calling my name as out of desperation. I turned around with all the strength I had left, and at the edge of my fading vision, I saw hair that gave off the feeling of a warm, burning flame.
I fainted.
----
Chapter brought to you by The Patrons.
TLC: Dima
RW: askinkov90
ED: Purplemen101
QC: Message us on Discord if you want to join us
ANIMT - Chapter 47. Just for today
I Got An Extra Six Months of Life Expectancy, And Now It’s My Time
I pushed open my heavy eyelids, and a familiar white ceiling filled my field of vision.
This is the infirmary, and I suppose I am lying on a bed. At the same time that I could reach that conclusion with my hazy mind, I heard a low voice from beside me.
“You’re finally awake.”
“Hey, Kitora? Why am I… ?”
I didn’t need to finish my sentence.
Yes, I’m…
“What happened to Hiiragi Yukino? What happened after that?”
I jumped off the thin futon that had been thrown over me, and raised myself into a better position. My mind woke up at once, and the scene on the rooftop flashed before my eyes like a slide show. I wondered how much time had passed since I had pitifully fainted.
“Ah, the woman escaped.”
“Where would she run away to?”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to find a lot of people who are interested in that topic. But I don’t know what happened to her.”
“Hey, that’s… !”
She’s going to find another place to die!
When I tried to leave the bed in a panic, Kitora lightly grabbed my arm, saying, “Calm down,” as I was about to become distraught.
“It’s okay. She’s not going to try to kill herself right now.”
His voice was full of confidence, and his strong golden eyes made me lose my strength and stop moving. For some reason, there was a definite glint of certainty in his eyes.
Perhaps… after I fainted, Kitora must have caught me. During those few seconds, before Hiiragi disappeared, I wonder if the two of them had some kind of exchange.
“Before she disappeared, I saw that woman’s eyes had life in them. Those are not the eyes of a person who is about to die. I don’t know what she was thinking, but I at least know she’s not going to die right now. In addition, that woman, at the end of… ?”
“Kitora? Kitora?”
I tilted my head as his words trailed off. He seemed to be deep in thought.
“Anyway. I don’t care if you leave her alone. And you were able to talk to her and say what you wanted to say, weren’t you? Then there’s no need for you to care about her anymore. Once you’ve calmed down, you should head back to your dorm.”
“Eh, ah… ”
He stood up from his chair roughly with a clatter. I couldn’t say anything more because of the atmosphere, and I was also distracted by my feet. There was my bag, which I had left in the classroom, and it seemed that he had taken the trouble to bring it to me while I was asleep.
“I’m not going to ask how we got here. It’s late, and the nurse on duty probably wants to close the infirmary, right? If she’s waiting for me, I should thank her.”
“The teacher was just about to lock the door when I brought you in, and I said, ‘Give me a break,’ and she put the key down and ran off.”
“Ehh… ?”
She was probably scared of Kitora and ran away, saying, “I’ll give you the key, so use it as you like.” Kitora must have given her a vicious glare or something.
I glanced down at his strong, but well-formed face. This wasn’t the first time he had taken me here. On top of that, he had run all over the school to find me.
Today, I feel like I’m putting a lot of my burdens on Kitora. I felt fiercely sorry for causing him to worry.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Kitora. I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you… ”
“What do you mean by trouble?”
“Oh, a lot of things.”
I was so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t look at his face and replied while looking down at the white sheets.
And then, like on the rooftop, I could feel the sluggish, ugly, painful emotions that I can’t help but feel creeping back into my heart. Tears threatened to stream down my cheeks as I dug my fingers hard into the covers so that Kitora would not notice.
----You can’t cry here.
These weren’t physiological tears. They are tears that expose the messy emotions and the weakness that lies within me. During the six months that my life expectancy was extended, I vowed to live strongly so that I would not regret it. I can’t allow myself to shed tears, a sign of weakness and regret. And I don’t want to embarrass Kitora any further.
I told myself not to cry while focussing on my wrinkled skirt. Eventually, I heard Kitora sigh in disgust.
“I’ve been bothered by you every day since the magic mock battles. It’s not appropriate for you to act so auspiciously now.”
“… Haha. I’m sure you’re right. It’s really nice to have a partner that you can rely on.”
I looked up and forced a smile on my face.
It’s okay.
The tears had receded, and my voice wasn’t shaking.
But the scene on the roof still unfolded in my mind.
Then, I suddenly remembered something that had been bothering me. I thought maybe I shouldn’t talk about it anymore, but I couldn’t help but be curious, so I hesitantly mentioned my concern.
“Hey, Kitora. When Hiiragi Yukino said something like “My mom meant the world to me”, you seemed to pay attention to those words. Are you alright?”
When Yukino said that, Kitora had repeated “... the world to me,” as if that reminded him of something.
It felt like that was something he had piled up inside of him.
Could that be that for Kitora, there exists that one person who means the world to him?
“That reminded me a little bit of my older cousin.”
“Older cousin?”
“He was like a brother to me. There was a time when I missed him. It’s not like he died like her mother, but now we’ve had our differences and I’ve separated from him. In terms of losing the only one who existed for me, at that time, just a tiny bit, I could understand her feelings.
“There isn’t really a deeper meaning to that, don’t worry,” said Kitora, but it was so rare for him to talk about himself. I’m sure his cousin was a very important person to him.
I gently lowered my eyes and ruminated on the moment when Hiiragi Yukino revealed her emotions to me. With eyes tinged with regret, she lamented her actions and her life. The girl, who had worked blindly at the institute for her mother, the only one who mattered. I couldn’t help wondering what I could have done differently if it were me.
For example.
What if there was someone beside her who could stop her from making mistakes or going out of control?
If she had someone other than her mother who understood her?
I’m not sure if I could have avoided the tragic future that is now hers.
The thought of such a ‘what if’ story went round and round in my brain.
I know it didn’t happen, and that’s why I’m here now, but…
“… ‘I just wanted my mother to laugh’.”
It’s not that I don’t like it. But in my mind, Hiiragi Yukino is still a perpetrator who hurt me.
For now, the best idea would be to go back to the dorm and sleep to regain control of my emotions. Hopefully, some rest will do me some good.
I have to do my best and live my remaining life desperately from tomorrow onwards.
I can’t just stop here, wallowing in my misery.
I quickly adjusted my messy hair and smiled at Kitora. As usual, I tried to keep my tone of voice bright and cheerful and spoke to him as if to clear the sinking air.
“I’m sorry, but I think we should end this topic now and go back to the dormitory as soon as possible as you suggested. If we stay too late, we’ll have trouble preparing for tomorrow. Oh yeah, we’ll be practicing for the festival tomorrow, so you should come too. We couldn’t do it together today, but tomorrow we’ll work on the play as partners. Don’t worry, you will be very successful with your wind attribute magic.”
“… Oh.”
“Also, I’ve been talking with Kokomi about the stores we should check out on the day of the cultural festival. I’ve heard that they’re going to have a magical girl cafe, and it’s going to be really cute. And, um… ”
“Oi!”
As I was moving my mouth, I was interrupted by a sharp voice, as if to say, “Stop it.”
I was so startled by the voice that I almost broke into a smile, but I quickly lifted my mouth and smiled again.
“What’s the matter, Kitora? I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what to say. I’m sorry, I want to go home early… right? I’m getting out of bed now, just give me a minute.”
“… Are you seriously going to go back to the dorm with that face?”
“Huh?”
“I said you could go back to your dorm once you calmed down. If you go back to the dormitory with an ugly face, crying, or barely holding back with a fake smile, Umetaro will make a fuss. You didn’t have much of a face to look at to begin with, and now you’re at least twenty percent uglier.”
“Yeah.”
I thought I managed to hide it, but I’m sure I look at least half as terrible as I feel.
“… It’s logical to be depressed or cry after something like that. It’s not only shocking to know that someone is dying in front of you, but she’s also the one who tried to kill you, right? How can you smile and talk about anything right after confronting such a person?”
“What!?”
To be precise, she wasn’t the one who nearly killed me, but the one who actually killed me.
It suddenly felt like someone was chopping onions nearby. The odorless smell pervaded the room causing me to tear up and my breath to catch slightly.
“You almost got yourself killed, but you managed to keep your life. And you then faced the perpetrator head-on and gave them a piece of your mind. That’s not something anyone can do! I thought your words and actions were amazing.”
“… ”
“If you have feelings that you can’t hold back, you should cry. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to scream and rampage, do it. And if you feel like vomiting, you should just vomit. Who would blame you? Besides, I’m the only one here, and I’m already used to you inconveniencing me. So you don’t have to worry about annoying anyone.”
Saying his piece in a rush, he then turned away.
Were you embarassed by those words that were so unlike you? Or did you avert your eyes so I could cry?
I’m not sure which case it was… but as soon as his wide back and burning red hair filled my sight, a single tear formed and ran down my cheek.
“Ah… ”
Somewhere in my head, I still blame myself. “Don’t cry, endure,” I repeat like a mantra, but after the first tear flowed, the dam burst.
From my eyes, transparent water droplets mixed with dirty emotions overflowed one after another.
“Ah, uh… ”
----I hate Hiiragi Yukino who killed me.
But I also knew she was really a sad victim in this ordeal.
However, my hatred for her remained smoldering in the depths of my heart, and the burning anger and regret I felt on the roof still vividly remained.
It’s unbearably painful and frustrating. All the emotions that I can’t handle are too painful and raw for me.
I know that crying and letting myself go is a sign of weakness; that I’m someone unable to control their emotions.
I have to be that much stronger to cover my weakness.
I have to be strong and survive the rest of my life.
“Ah, uh… ”
The tears that streamed down my face stained the sheets, and the unbearable sobbing echoed from the curtains that covered the space.
Kitora stood stoically, and in silence. But he did not leave.
He just quietly stood on guard and watched over my weakness.
----Only for today.
Only for today, will I allow ‘Weak Mitsuha’ to cry.
I cried and screamed and spat out sobs.
Starting tomorrow, I will work hard again and laugh heartily for the rest of my life.
That’s why.
“Ahhhhh!”
Hey, Shiratama, please watch over me. Even though I do not know where you are.
Only for today.
Please.
Please allow me to cry as ‘Weak Mitsuha’ for just today.
----
Chapter brought to you by The Patrons.
TLC: Dima
RW: askinkov90
ED: Purplemen101
QC: Message us on Discord if you want to join us
This week's chapters were brought to you by: The Patrons.
Special thanks to our Patrons who help us pay for these chapters. It's thanks to you that we can afford to pay for translations to make these chapters happen.
Don't forget that the chapters have been batched into a nice ePUB / PDF below.
Community:Come join us on our Discord! https://discord.gg/wxSdrsn
TL Note: Mald Frogs Club tries to capture the intent of the author when translating these chapters. This is not a literal translation and we can not guarantee the accuracy of it. We re-structure sentences to improve the flow and if we spot what appears to be an obvious error, we fix it as we go.
Recruitment: If you would like to join us and speed up the rate that chapters are released at or improve the quality of the releases, we are looking for a Korean translator and Korean translation-checker. We currently rely on freelancers that we pay by the chapter for.
