AlienWarlord
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C292 Spider-Man
🕑 Added 2023-03-25 18:04:32 +0000 UTC“First, we need a new king.” Tony said matter of factly.
And as soon as those words left his mouth everyone turned to look toward Peter for some odd reason.
“No, not happening.” He instantly denied.
“What? You like this kind of stuff, don’t you?” Tony whined as he didn’t want to take on the responsibility, only rake in all of the rewards. “I mean, you practically run the Avengers. Why not become a king while you’re at it?”
Peter looked at his friend as if he were mentally deficient.
(A/N: You can’t say the R word anymore... God I miss that word.)
“Because I already have a million other responsibilities. As you said, I run the Avengers, and that's a full-time job. Not to mention my hero work, my girlfriend, my kid, and now I have a new group of space heroes to look after. I seriously don’t have the time for this even if I do like the idea of becoming king of an entire planet.” Peter ended his rant with an exasperated sigh.
“Spider-Man has a child?” Rhodes muttered in disbelief.
“Yes, and I would like to keep what little time I have to spend with her.” Peter adds as Tony starts to lose hope in his plan.
“But... This planet is heaven...” Tony said as he looked out of the window toward the never-ending hills of resources in the distance. “It’s a never-ending tech mine. We can’t just let it go.”
...
The room went silent as everyone could feel how important this was to Tony. There are only a few things in this world that could truly move Iron Man's heart, and this planet seemed to be one of them.
“Well, as I see it, we have three options.” Peter says after a moment of thought.
“?” Everyone turned to him, especially Tony who looked very eager to hear what his friend had to say.
“First, We could allow the people to vote on their next ruler and cultivate a good relationship with that person. Once there’s some trust between us, we can trade for the junk you want.” Peter says though Tony didn’t seem that enthusiastic about it.
“I feel like that would take forever...” Tony complained as he wanted to start carting off his tech today.
“Second, we could pick someone from the Avengers to run the place under the Organizations banner, though we would be losing the exclusive rights to your precious hills of space trash.” Peter offers another option.
“Hey, it’s not trash.” Tony counters as he thinks it over. “Would I still get first picks for the tech brought in?”
“I don’t know. We would have to call a council meeting to decide that, though I can tell you now that Fury and Erik are greedy b*stards. They won’t let you horde all of the good stuff to yourself.” Peter shrugs.
“What’s the last one?” Tony asks, hoping it’s better than the first two options.
“Third, we could portal every Sakaaran off of the planet. I’d have to find a vacant world that’s habitable for them to settle on, but that shouldn’t be too hard. The Universe is ever expanding after all.” Peter says, though once again Tony had something to say.
“Then who would collect all of the technology for us? We still need a civilian workforce to collect everything.” Tony sighs in exasperation.
Of course, he didn’t plan to treat the Sakaarans like slaves.
They would get a very nice payment for their work, courtesy of the dearly departed Grandmaster.
After all, he has to have a hefty sum of credits lying around from the many millennia of running this place.
“We could always portal a huge chunk of space junk to Earth and sort it there, or you could make some worker robots to do it here and I could pick up each batch once a month.” Peter said, soothing Tony’s worries in an instant.
“Fine, let’s find a planet and kick everyone out.” Tony was finally on board.
“I think that you guys are forgetting something important.” Brunnhilde spoke for the first time in a while.
“What?” Tony asked with a frown.
“One, what if people don’t want to leave, and two, random people appear through the wormholes all the time. You would always have new arrivals to deal with.” She explained.
“I’m of the understanding that this place is a sh*thole for most people. The only city is built with rusted scrap, while the rest of the planet is literally just trash. There’s not even any flora or fauna, let alone a way to grow any plants on a large enough scale to feed everyone, which means herding animals is probably impossible as well.”
“And that’s if you’re lucky enough for two opposite-gendered animals of the same species to fall out of a wormhole and live. I mean, am I wrong?” Peter asks with a raised brow under his mask.
“True, but many of the citizens here are, for lack of a better phrase, dumb f*ck morons. They may decide that they like it here and just stay. In fact, I’m sure a small amount of them definitely will.” Brunnhilde nods to herself. “You have to remember that there are no schools here. Most Sakaarans aren’t the brightest of minds.”
“Then we’ll just have to force them out, I guess. If they’re too stupid to see the opportunity we’re giving them, then they don’t deserve the option to choose for themselves.” Peter says uncaringly. “As for the new arrivals, we can always check once a month and portal them to the new Sakaar, and they can try to return to their home worlds from there.”
“I like it!” Tony smirked as he started thinking of designs for the labor robots, who would parse through all of the trash for them. “We should find a planet as quickly as possible. And by we, I mean you.”
Tony gestured to Peter.
“Sure, but I expect a fair split of the tech from this since I’m helping.” Peter says as he receives a nod from Tony.
“We can share everything like we always do.” Tony shrugs as Peter opens a portal and steps through.
“I’ll be back in a bit.” He says with a wave as the portal snaps shut.
“Tony, are you actually about to evict an entire civilization just so you can take their resources?” Pepper asked incredulously. “This is giving heavy Colonizer vibes.”
Of course, it wasn’t that bad, as the Sakaarans would be getting a habitable planet out of the deal.
A world for a world sounded pretty fair after all.
“...” Tony completely ignore his girlfriend as he stood by the window, eying the world below with a greedy spark in his eyes.
—————————————
Using the star chart in one of his many alien warships, Peter was able to compile a list of planets that could work for the Sakaaran migration.
Checking them personally one by one, Peter found one planet that fit the description of a habitable and not yet colonized world.
L-221, a green planet, similar to the earth, with a blue ocean covering a little over 80% of its globe, which is about 10% more than the earth, though that wasn’t exactly a problem per se.
It was a bit smaller than the Earth as well, but Salkaar is only made up of one Capital City, so they shouldn’t have any problems with space for a long time.
“This should do...” Peter muttered as he watched a few alien-looking animals run away, as they weren’t used to seeing things like him. ‘They better get used to it quickly because your about to see a lot more soon enough.’
...
After testing the planet's air, soil, and water quality, among a slew of other crucial tests, Peter portal’d back to the Grandmasters Palace and found Tony standing at the edge of the broken window with a microphone in hand.
“People of Sakaar! We have slain the man who turned you all into slaves. The Grandmaster is dead!” Tony shouted onto the microphone, like a boxing match announcer.
Looking out of the window, Peter could see a sea of people packed below the palace, as if the pope was giving a speech at the Vatican.
“Not only have we killed your oppressor, but we’ve also found a way for everyone to escape this wasteland of a planet!” Tony says, immediately piquing the interest of the crowd.
Although they found this whole situation hard to believe, many Sakaarans have always wished to escape.
The lack of food, water, safety, and almost every other basic necessity has made living in Sakaar a living hell for the large majority of them.
“We give you all one week to peacefully pack your belongings and prepare to set off. A friend of mine has already found a much more habitable planet for everyone to migrate to.” Tony explained as the crowd stood in disbelief.
Now things were starting to sound a bit too good to be true...
Seeing the looks of those in the crowd with his enhanced eyesight, Peter waved his hand and opened a giant portal in the sky.
Looking upward, everyone caught sight of a green and blue planet, filled with flora and fauna as well as all sorts of animals.
Looking back, Tony was surprised to find Peter standing there but gave him a thankful smirk for his assistance.
“See for yourselves. This is your new planet as well as our exit. Hurry home and pack your things! The New Sakaar is waiting for you!”
A/N: 1609 words :) GN everyone 💤
