AlienWarlord
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I’m Batman (HP Xover) C31
🕑 Added 2022-05-31 13:03:03 +0000 UTCAfter speaking his piece, Headmaster Dumbledore thanked everyone for listening and sat back down, motioning for Minerva to take control.
“When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses.” Minerva says as she places a stool and an old pointed hat in front of the staff table.
After looking over a list, Deputy Headmistress McGonagall calls out the first name she sees.
“Hermione Granger!” She says as she holds the old hat patiently.
(A/N: I decided to skip the hat song. You’re welcome or my apologies depending if you liked it or not.)
“Oh, no. Okay, relax.” Hermione starts panicking and reassuring herself before going up.
“Mental that one, I'm telling you.” Ron whispers just loud enough for Bruce and Harry to hear.
“Be nice Ronald.” Bruce reprimands him instantly.
“Don’t call me that!” He bristles like a porcupine at his own name.
Ignoring Ron completely, Bruce watches Hermione’s sorting.
‘I wonder if my influence on her changed anything?’ Bruce pondered whether she would still be in Gryffindor.
“Ah, right then...hmm...right. Gryffindor!” The hat exclaims and Hermione jumps off the stool with a bright smile, joining her cheering housemates.
“Draco Malfoy!” Minerva called the next student on the list.
The blonde ferret saunters his way up like a proud peacock. Before the tattered hat could even touch down on Draco’s slicked-back hair, it freaked out and shouted what everyone already knew would happen.
“SLYTHERIN!”
The Slytherin table cheers loudly while every other table merely clapped out of obligation.
“There isn't a witch or wizard who went bad that wasn’t in Slytherin.” Ron remarks.
“Actually you’re wrong about that.” Bruce corrects him. “‘You Know Who’ had some followers that came from other houses. They just numbered less compared to his Slytherin worshippers.”
“That can’t be right! No Gryffindor would ever join a Dark Lord!” Ron rebuts with confidence in his voice.
“Have you even researched this as I have or are you talking out of your *ss?” Bruce asked with a raised brow.
“I-I just know they wouldn’t!” He doubles down.
“Surely...” Bruce says sarcastically.
While Bruce and Ron are talking, more students are called up and sorted into their houses.
Harry, who stood beside them, was staring at a greasy-haired, crooked-nosed, pale man, who was giving him the death stare of the century.
Severus Snape the potions Professor.
‘Relax, Dude. You got bullied and cucked by the kid's father but the perpetrator is long dead. Move on already.’ Bruce thought as he saw this.
“Ahh!” Harry groans and puts his hand on his forehead in pain.
“Harry, you okay?” Bruce asks as he turns his head and sees Professor Quirrell staring fixedly in Harry's direction.
“I-I'm fine.” Harry says as the pain begins to fade slowly.
“Ronald Weasley!”
Ron noticeably gulps and nervously walks up.
“Mental that one, I'm telling you.” Bruce repeats Ron’s words just loud enough for him to hear.
Ron huffs in annoyance and Harry rolls his eyes with an amused smile on his face.
Of course, Ron is instantly sorted into Gryffindor. He and Draco have had the fastest times yet.
“Harry Potter!”
Everything goes silent as Harry walks up and sits down on the stool. The Sorting Hat is placed on his head like the others before him.
Compared to Draco and Ron’s record-holding speed runs, Harry took the longest of the bunch. He also seemed to be whispering something over and over.
“Well, If you're sure... better be... GRYFFINDOR!” The hat proclaims.
Instantly, the whole great Hall was filled with cheers, besides the Slytherin table, who were unhappy and barely even clapped.
‘Looks like Gryffindor is the goal, huh?’ Bruce thought.
He didn’t really mind any of the houses but If he wants to continue his plans, Gryffindor seems like the place to be.
“Bruce Wayne!”
After many other first years were sorted, it was finally Bruce’s turn to go up and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous.
‘Will the hat know that I’m a reincarnated person?’ Bruce worried as he sat on the stool and the hat is lowered onto his head.
‘Hmm, interesting... very interesting’ The raspy voice of the hat echos in Bruce’s mind.
‘What’s so interesting, Hat?’ Bruce asked.
‘Oh, I think you know...’ The hat replies with a small laugh.
‘I would appreciate it if you stay out of my memories.’ Bruce says sternly.
‘Oh, it’s too late for that. I was made to know everything about the students I sort, as to better place them into the house they belong. I know everything, Mr. Reincarnator.’ The hat says in a more annoying know-it-all tone than Hermione.
‘I wonder if hats ever spontaneously combust?’ Bruce thought threateningly.
‘Now, calm down. No need to go so far.’ The hat backtracks from his annoying demeanor fairly quickly. ‘It’s not like I can reveal anything. I was made to not spread anyone’s secrets. I couldn’t even reveal who Voldemort was or the threat that he would bring after his sorting, and boy was that child’s mind a dark and creepy place to be in...’
The only reason the hat could even say this to Harry was because he already knew everything about Voldemort from his past life’s knowledge.
‘Hmm, fine. That makes sense. I won’t burn you to a crisp. Just sort me into Gryffindor and we’re even.’ Bruce says after a moment of thought.
‘Why Gryffindor? You’re far more suited to Slytherin or Ravenclaw, you know?’ The hat asks.
‘You know the reason already, you mind reading hat. Don’t waste my time.’ Bruce didn’t feel like playing the hats games.
The reason was simple. He had plans. Also, being a cunning person in a house of cunning people isn’t an ideal environment, so Slytherin is out.
Bruce would rather be a cunning snake disguised as a foolhardy Lion.
As for Ravenclaw, they may have a nice library, but the room of requirement should be able to get him access to any book in the castle.
‘Hmm, I’m not supposed to allow the children to pick like this. They can only sway my choice if the decision is a close one, but I can make an exception for self-preservation, I suppose.’ Ignoring Bruce’s rude words, the Hat thought for a moment and finally spoke.
“GRYFFINDOR!”
