Doctor Bird
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Nosy Rangers (Chapter 67)
🕑 Added 2025-10-29 20:49:14 +0000 UTCAs the last head rolled upon the ground, leaving a thick trail of filthy blood in its wake… I understood one of the weak points of my new knightly form.
It was rather bad at absorbing and devouring flesh in particular. It had a natural affinity toward devouring steel with the slightest of physical contact, but when it came to the other half of what I usually feasted upon, it proved itself lacking.
Not to say that I couldn’t absorb flesh at all, I definitely could. It was simply slow and inefficient to the point of making the process almost feel like a chore.
This meant that if I slaughtered people in this form, I would have an issue erasing the evidence in a timely manner unless I switched back to my usual form. Which could, of course, pose its own problems.
The main issue was that this form did not have a maw, or any sort of mouth for that matter. I didn’t have a digestive system, a stomach, or anything like that, but if I ‘ate’ things, they would be absorbed nearly instantly in my ‘Base Form’. This was not possible when in this state.
And ‘Minor Cosmetics’ could not allow me to fashion one for myself.
But that was a rather small weakness compared to the benefits of this form. It was clearly combat-oriented to the maximum level possible. I couldn’t even speak whilst using it. Indeed, not only was I a cool-looking, alluring knightess, but I was also a silent and cold one.
While rendered mute, I did look very much like a human woman inside a fancy suit of armour and a dress. So I believed that it could definitely be used to blend in with people, as long as I could make them believe that my lack of speech was due to, not to the fact that I was a living suit of armour, but simply a woman who couldn’t speak at all.
Which… Shouldn’t be too difficult. People wouldn’t just assume that what looked like a woman in armour was actually an unholy mix between a curse and a spirit.
In any case, these were downsides, but the upsides completely overshadowed these minor drawbacks. The combat potential of this form was extraordinary!
Even if I ignored the special abilities, this form really allowed me to put my skills in action.
My flexibility was outrageous in this form, and my sense of balance was nothing short of utterly perfect. The sort of motions that I could perform without even trying hard were incredible. I could literally dance like a ballerina and do flips whilst attacking.
I knew for sure, I had just done it against the lanky bastards.
Now, just because I could do it didn’t mean that it was an excellent idea, but it served to show that in this form, I was much swifter, agile, and my bodily coordination was through the roof.
Not to mention that, although less powerful in terms of pure brawn, I was still a heavy lump of steel at the end of the day. So most strikes aimed at me would just harmlessly bounce or slide off.
My typical form was resilient, but the way my body was shaped was more skeletal, not really designed for deflecting blows, but my knightly form was studied for this exact purpose. I could more easily put in place a common strategy for knights.
They didn’t wear armour ‘just in case’, it was an integral part of their fighting style in most cases. They valued resilience and toughness because, to them, their armour was to be used much like a shield in certain situations.
If a sword strike came your way, just pivot your body to parry the strike with your armour itself before counterattacking. As simple as that.
It was possible to do in my ‘Base Form’, but with this one, it would be much easier and have far less chance of failing since the armour was shaped for this very purpose.
What do you think, Nara? I am quite enjoying this form already, and since it lacks my purple eyes, I should be able to go incognito as well.
I must admit, when I saw the plush version of this form, I was not expecting it to be so powerful. I only had minor knowledge of it before you unlocked it… But honestly, what is most surprising is how… Well… Shapely it is? It’s almost like your wishes for a more alluring form were heard
What can I say? Whatever is in charge of my forms must have understood that beauty is a very important factor. Also, I wouldn’t have complained even if this form had turned out to be a more regular suit of armour, but I am a woman, so I would rather look like one if possible.
Though this form didn’t have my actual silhouette, which was actually great. Now, if my brother suspected that I was still alive and tried to send assassins after me again, they wouldn’t have a clue that this seductive, silent knightess was actually me.
They would only know about my ‘Base Form’.
In any case…
I stood still and switched back to my typical form to clean up the mess, and also because I needed to be able to speak to continue my goal of bringing Ophelie into my lovely band. Though I was definitely going to show off my plush and knightly form to her.
She was absolutely going to love it, and what better way to demonstrate my appreciation of her than to make her believe that I had loved her plush so much that I had gained the power to transform into it?
To top it off, my plan to make her into a higher-quality spirit was going great. Her value in my eyes had increased greatly, so surely, there was a connection between the two of us, shouldn’t there be?
There should be, though, I feel that you still don’t really like her in a genuine way
That’s just a detail… I just need to build a bond, it doesn’t need to be a loving one both ways… I’ll only appreciate her after she becomes a spirit anyway…
…When I showed Ophelie my new forms, she was more than just a little thrilled and was very happy about my compliments for her plush-making skills. I may have also claimed that she most definitely had a bright future as a plush maker.
I did not specify that this bright future was about making plushes for my own usage… After getting to test the second way of transforming into my knightly form, I found out that it was absolutely incredible.
When I used an existing plush as a medium toward shifting into this form, the plush in question would disappear, but as it turns out, I would manifest from it, regardless of whether I was actually nearby or not.
So in a sense, it was a bit like teleportation, just that a plush needed to be placed down in advance. And after further tests, I found out that once in my knightly form, I could still manifest from plushes made in my effigy.
This required setup, but I could potentially teleport from place to place with this… All I needed to figure out was whether or not there was a distance limit… And if so, what that limit precisely was.
With this information, I could see myself doing some very funny things.
Unfortunately, I did not have much time to do such tests. Ophelie wasn’t exactly speeding in making plushes, and I didn’t want her to get tired of making the same plush over and over again. I need her to be very happy all the time.
My experience at Harvey’s Diner continued to flex its utility. I might hate those little creatures, but I had still done my best to be viewed as the best possible employee during my time there, so when it came to making these foul beings happy, I had expertise.
They were relatively simple creatures. Find out what they like, praise them, and when they start to greatly like you, you could just pat their heads and give them hugs. It was so damned easy, I would have made an incredible mother for certain.
It also helped that Ophelie wasn’t the sort of kid who somehow smelled like piss all the time… Or that she was old enough to not randomly throw nonsensical tantrums… I swear, the smaller these things are, the more bizarre they are.
There is a time between them being literal babies and them being capable of being coherent, during which their very thoughts seem to be plagued by utter nonsense and absolute madness.
It was so awful that I still remembered most of them.
One time, there was a child who kept changing his mind about whether he wanted a goddamn drink with a straw or not. He literally exhausted himself crying whilst I was doing my best not to kick him into a wall for being an annoying little piece of shit.
There was the time a little girl suddenly decided that the awful automatons that she loved so much were actually very scary and made a scene, only to love them again after fifteen minutes of abject wailing.
Truly, I could have been a candidate for Saint of Patience. It had been very tempting to resort to the good old methods of violence, but I did not! Because I am just that nice of a person. An angel without wings, I would even say.
I could certainly appreciate the fact that Ophelie was not prone to such lunacy. And… I guess I sort of liked the fact that she listened to me and held me in such high regard, but heh… I just can not bring myself to actually feel anything for her.
I can only like my quintet because they are MY ghosts. They are basically a part of me, so of course I like them. I love myself.
You know, you seem like a bundle of contradictions regarding that girl
How so?
You manage to simultaneously feel impassive about her, but since you also intend on making her your little sister, you do sort of like her… But also not? I don’t get it
Several things that should be exclusive to one another cohabit together seamlessly, and it seems… Perfectly normal, somehow?
Nara, I think you’re starting to understand what it means to be a sapient… If we think hard enough, we can find exceptions and make sense out of basically anything, no matter how stupid it is.
We literally invented concepts, and have spent every waking second following their invention bitching about them, whilst simultaneously reinforcing them, but hey, that’s just how we are, caring about that is a lost cause.
I am afraid I do not get it
I don’t either. I just said a lot of words, but for all I know, I might not have made an ounce of sense. That’s why I hate philosophers, professional bullshit speakers–Oh, something new is happening…
Before I could ramble to the clueless little sister whose voice could only be heard by me, I heard people speaking through the open window of Ophelie’s room.
At the moment, it was bright outside, I was buried under a pile of plushes, and the girl herself wasn’t around, busy cuddling with baby rabbits or hugging a grown rooster. These were activities that I strongly approved of.
I heard Ophelie’s parents speaking with what sounded like several people I did not recognise. Just by their voices, I could tell that they were elves. There was that slight difference in tone that I had noticed with the druid.
Very subtle, but also very obvious once you notice it.
It seemed like the death of two elves, and the suspicious lack of lanky monsters around the farm during the day had attracted some suspicions…
Bleh… Let’s see them figure out that I am hiding under a pile of plushes inside the house! And if they stay to look around for the night… Well then, I guess I will be able to test my new form more thoroughly.
Comments
UnderwhelmingBird
I am delighted Nara pointed out the obvious confusing contradictions The abstract nature of emotions, attachments, and mental models in general is something that greatly appeals to me. Mara both makes absolutely no sense and absolute total sense at the same time. I can follow her logic-chains, acknowledge they're wacky as heck, yet are nothing but proper for her. She is relatable in a horrifying way, with rather alien patterns to her thoughts.
phantom
Poor rangers.
