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House of The Dragon-The Beauty, The Bold, and The Black Dread: Chapter 145: Hesitation
🕑 Added 2025-04-11 17:41:57 +0000 UTC(Baelon's POV)
I opened my eyes and felt a wave of exhaustion hit my entire body. I was laying in my bed after a night of constantly trying to sleep. I wager I only managed to get around two or three hours worth of sleep and I know for a fact that both Helaena and Rhaenyra will notice and say something about it.
I sighed and slowly sat up, looking to my side and seeing that Helaena was not in bed with me. She had crawled into my bed the night prior, holding me from behind in an attempt to comfort me. I did not refuse her, I could not refuse her. I just had plenty of conflicting thoughts in my head, I could not just get them out of my head.
"Hm...." I said as I rubbed my hair
I have another child, an illegitimate one. Or at least, that is what everyone claims. I want it to not be true, I do not want to fall for their trap, Her trap. There is the possibility of all of this being a ploy to get at me and I do not want to be foolish to fall for it.
I was stupid enough to fall for their trick, they could have killed me and they did not. They knew that it would irk me, that it would bother me. And it does bother me, it bothers me a lot that they had me in the perfect position to drive their blade into my chest or cut my throat.
They could have done what Trevor tried his best to do and easily at that! And that is what bothers me.
To them, Trevor was nothing but an overzealous and ambitious fool who was lower than them. They could have done what he wanted to do without much effort and trouble and that is what the message they wanted to relay.
And it is that message that I received.
"Scandals are always nice to watch from afar...."
Those words stuck with me. Now Min and her daughter are here, I could not help but think that this is part of their plan.
Maybe it is true, maybe that girl is mine.
The whole point is for them to wait and see how others would react to this. They more than likely allowed her to be smuggled out, they orchestrated the whole thing. They probably wanted her to get to Dragonstone, to show me that she had my child, and they would simply sit back and see how everything plays out.
Gael gave me an option and when I told her I would refuse, she told me that it was a mistake.
Was it?
Was marrying Rhaenyra a mistake?
She made it clear that she would do anything in her power to make me realize that but is it working?
A-Am I....
Am I hesitating?
Am I regretting?
Do I regret walking into that building?
It was not just myself, but many innocent girls that were harmed that night. I could not shake that feeling away. It is not their fault, they were also victims of that woman and her sadistic nature.
"Why are you sitting there?" I heard a voice say
I looked up to see Rhaenyra standing a couple of feet away from the bed. She must have walked in the room and I did not hear her.
"I did not hear you, Rhaenyra." I said as I looked down
"What is the matter?" She said as she walked over and sat on the bed, placing her hand on my shoulder, "Are you well?"
I nodded, "I am fine."
"You are not." She said, "Look at me."
I looked at her as she patted my cheek, "Rhaenyra...."
"I understand that this is overwhelming." She said softly, "But I want you to know that we are here for you. You have our support, mine and Helaena's. And that is all that should matter."
"I know." I said softly as I looked back down, "I....it is all my fault, however....I should not have been so stupid.....a simple mistake lead to all of this."
"Hey." She said, "Do not say that. Do not speak like that."
"It is the truth." I said, "My mistake lead to the torment of that poor woman, I cannot imagine the pain she must have gone through."
"Listen to me." She said as she lifted my face back up, "That girl....if things did not go the way they went, she would probably met a worse fate."
"They whipped her, Rhaenyra." I said with a frown, "They beat her, they abused her."
"And she is free from that." She said, "I hate to even say it but if she was not bearing your child as a way to be used against you, she would have probably been used as an object, constantly raped for the pleasure of savage men. You know that, you are aware of that. She has seen terrible things and that fear is what led her to us, it is what led your daughter to you."
"Do not...." I started, "Do not do that....do not call her that."
"She is your daughter, Baelon. I can feel it in my bones." She said softly
"I....." I said, "Please, stop it."
"I am sorry." She said as she crawled on me and sat on my lap, "I am so sorry, my Baelon....."
She had me wrap my arms around her waist as she patted my cheek and gave me a smile, a sweet and assuring one.
"Do you understand how I feel, Rhaenyra?" I asked her, "I was raped.....and I have a constant reminded of what happened. If the same had happened to you, would you want to be reminded of it?"
She pulled my face to her chest and embraced me, "I understand." She said softly, "I apologize, forgive me."
Her chest was so warm, so welcoming. I instinctively hugged her more tightly, feeling her entire body pressed against mine.
"It is fine." I said softly
"I am angry, Baelon." She said, "Angry that this happened to you. But that child, she does not deserve the ire. I look at her and I can only see you."
"How....?" I said, "She looks like her mother."
"I see you...." She said as she kissed my head, "Because she is yours. And she needs a name."
"I cannot...." I said, "I cannot give her one."
"Please...." Rhaenyra said, "You must....you cannot deny her."
"I am not denying her." I said, "I just.....I just cannot do that.....please, do not make me do that."
"Alright." She said softly as she began to run her fingers through my hair, caressing my head, "It is fine, Baelon. My sweet Baelon....."
"Does it not bother you?" I asked
"What?" She said softly
"That I have not given you another child?" I asked, "And I have a bastard under the same roof as yours."
".......It...." She said softly, "It does not matter."
"It does to me." I said as I hugged her tightly, "I have been neglecting you too much...."
"You have not." She said with a chuckle
"You give her a name." I said
"She is not my child." She said
"I am asking you to." I said
"Fine." She said, "I will think of one."
"Thank you." I said
"Shh..." She said softly, "You need not worry. I am here for you, Baelon."
"Thank you....." I said again
"I love you." She said as she kissed my head again
"I love you too." I said,
"I love the both of you."
