bismuth9
patreon
Production update 2021-12-08
🕑 Added 2021-12-08 18:36:54 +0000 UTCHello everyone,
I'll be straight with you all, it's been a bit of a rough week. I had set the goal to release the video before the holidays, and I really wanted to get there, but the energy and motivation just were not there. I fell into a spiral of dicking around, doing sudokus, browsing Twitter, Twitch, YouTube and reddit, never actually committing to anything longer than like 10-20 minutes because you know, I'll start working just after this I promise. I sort of constantly felt the pressure of having to work, get editing, do something, and as the day slowly passed me by, the feeling of dread from having done almost nothing productive crept in. This is not a good loop and I absolutely hate being in it.
I am a natural procrastinator. This destructive habit is kept at bay because my work is engaging, motivating, fulfilling and fun. But sometimes, when the mountain of work ahead of me looks steep and the motivation is lower than usual, the dark side comes back to consume a month of my life.
I realized that setting that deadline for myself, which, usually, really works well, wasn't doing it this time. I think it was actually causing more harm, as it was the main cause behind my feeling of dread after a day not properly spent, and a cause of stress when I had to do anything else like grocery shopping, doing the dishes, cooking meals, all that stuff. When I'm away from my desk: "Why do I have to do this, I can never work because of all these chores!" And then, as soon as I get to my desk: "Okay I'll start working but first let me refresh Twitter once more...". I'm sure some of you will understand this infinite loop and how frustratingly difficult it can be to get out of it when you're properly stuck in it.
Enough bad news though. Despite all that, I did still manage to get some work done. I can still give you guys a progress update:
- Script: 100%
- Recording: 35%
- Editing: 5%
As you can't see, that kind of pace is definitely not getting me to a release before Christmas. So, as of today, I'm letting that goal go. I'm hoping that this relieves some pressure I've been putting on myself and allows me to find editing easier to get into, ultimately letting the motivation come back.
It's been a while since the last time I've had a bad period like this, and there's been several new patrons since (hello and thank you!). I think it's a good time for a reminder that I set up my Patreon to be on a video basis and not a monthly basis, so me working slower than usual ultimately doesn't affect you guys. I want to thank you for your patience. I'm eager to finally be in full form again. Having that fire to make the best videos I can and feeling really proud when they're done is an incredible feeling and I can only wish that everyone gets to experience it in their work or somewhere in their lives. I can't wait for it to come back!
![Someday*[サムデイ] from fanbox](https://leakoo.com/kistorage/107168.jpg)
