chrys_lair
patreon
Braveheart Academy
🕑 Added 2021-02-23 17:50:27 +0000 UTCI'm here to answer some questions about myself and the whole situation.
(Includes a TL;DR at the bottom)
First and foremost will I continue Braveheart?
Yes, and no I do not intend to raze everything /change names and hide, I accept who I am even if you do not.
But doing so would affect the amount of people willing to support the project.
That is very true indeed, But I will not run away from my mistakes, I will in fact learn from them and that is the reason I will NOT delete my first post.
And I am really happy that I've even had people pledging just with hopes they get to see the game finished even after the shit that I spewed out my mouth.
That is the reason I came back, there is genuine interest and love for the game. It was never about money, if you think so, you don't know me nor you ever visited the discord when it was running. I was against very high pledges, and overall appreciative of everyone's support. (And to be honest, if this was about money an Hiatus/Delays would still get me money on patreon over the months instead of a full cancellation.)
About me.
Most people are presuming I hated and closed the game due to F95, sadly F95 got most of the hate because it was the tipping point.
I met wonderful people in F95 and some really good developers.
I didn't think it would get leaked myself because I was given the tag of game dev and in charge of my own thread.
(This however was a big oversight on my part, and I only have myself to blame here.)
The real culprit of this was Life.
Covid was at the time, an all time high in my country.
Curfew as getting started, we couldn't leave, stress was at peak, I was mentally devastated. My PC literally died on me, and I spent two weeks waiting for Parts because I live in the middle of nowhere.
That in turn made me use money that I had saved, money that I really didn't want to touch. And on top of all that, I usually made unrealistic deadlines.
At least mentally. I usually worked up to 12+ Hours on the last couple of days prior to realize because of the way I am. I like to NOT miss deadlines, and I never did, in fact I completed early too.
(Except when my PC died, that was inevitable.)
I should have given myself more room to breathe and just enjoy things, most of my summer was Braveheart 8 hours per day.
(I did really enjoyed working on the game though, and I learned that people don't really need a month to release updated on a work standpoint, but on a mental standpoint it is the right thing to do, me working day and night to release two updates per month just got the best of me.)
Then it was already October, I was starting work very soon(that's the reason it had to be september the last month) and I wouldn't have the time to do updates the way I Intended.
Bottom line of it all.
I am, at the end of the day, Human.
I couldn't hold it all together and ended up lashing out on F95, and every ounce of negativity thrown at me. Please don't call me fake because I made a post, when I was the most anxious and angriest I have been in my life.
These past months allowed me to reflect on the situation, and just complete the game in my own terms.
I still believe that there are people in F95 that just love to seek and plant drama. But they are only but a minority and I shouldn't have done what I did.
I'll be free around summer and will work on it at that time, so please avoid pledging if you want to, just wait around to summer for any updates. And if you don't thats fine.
For my first big project, having the support I had at the time was the best thing I could have asked for.
Just here atoning for my mistakes now and being thankful for the support I was given.
TL;DR - Too Long; Didn't Read
I am planning to finish the game. If I end up eventually working on a different title I also do not intend to go under a different name, I want to own up to my past.
Unlike a couple of people have commented, I didn't quit because of people leaking the game. It was a culmination of reasons, a good amount of them being real life stuff. F95 just happened to be tipping point and got a lot of undeserved hate for it from my part. Sorry about that.
I have since reflected on the situation and life has been a bit better. There's also people still supporting me here and on patreon despite my actions. I want to finish what I started but without any appointed dates or time limits, but I will start working around summer.
