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How to be a Bro Ch.7: Work
🕑 Added 2023-07-06 10:07:07 +0000 UTC
(ID: Marcel González)
Bro’s are fairly common to see in a work environment. Most jobs don’t actually take that much thought if you think about it for just a second. It’s usually just Good ol’ common sense or rote tasks that any moron could do. And many morons usually excel in the world of business, right dude?.
But a bro is more than just a dumbass. He’s a dumbass you wanna keep around, brah. The bro makes coming into work a joy, even if you know you’re gonna have to end up cleaning up his mess half the time. Dude is the office welcoming committee, making a dull dreary desk job into a party and a connection.
Most people aren’t quite certain if he’s oblivious or if he knows how badly he’s doing but doesn’t admit it. But it doesn’t really matter, who could stay mad at that dumb slack-jawed look; at those well tanned arms.
Insert Old-time Radio voice here
Marcel is a great example for this at the Avis Athletic Agency. Dude know’s all the intern’s names…and their mom’s names too. He remembers Rhonda in legal’s birthday every year and always manages to hook the office up with the best after work bash.
Everyone fucking loves Marcel. It’s why the whole office thinks he is their work-husband. And to an extent that’s true. Gay, straight, bro or chick. He’s piped them all at least once. Just to see ya know. He made 'em all feel special. All feel loved. It’s what he’s best at. It’s why the CEO keeps him around. He’s a vital element of maintaining employee morale, duder.
Internal studies showed that the love of an office bromance decreases sick days by up to half, and as long as Marcel is working at AAA, you can guarantee all his bros are gonna stick with him. No improved salary offer or corporate poacher would ever tear them away from him.
So really it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t know the difference between a budget and a bicep curl, just him being there has saved the company millions.
That’s why he gets all these bonuses and extra’s despite being a bit of a drone. He somehow always ends up on the CEO’s team when they go on overseas business trips to exotic locales. It’s won him the unofficial title of PA. “Party assistant”. Because as soon as the work day is over he’s ready with a drink in one hand and some blow in the other for a “team-building exercise”.
Best part of it is that he takes his paychecks in the form of Brewski’s, babes and beach-time, bro.
