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Team Rizzless - Chapter 1
🕑 Added 2024-10-23 12:06:03 +0000 UTCAnother more comedic NSFW story. A few months back, I mentioned the idea of Huntresses being Baalbuddy Elves. Powerful, beautiful, normally unattainable women...who can't get any no matter how hard they try. So I thought I'd incorporate that here with everyone (sans Ruby) being desperate and thirsty in their own insane ways.
This'll be a shorter one, likely two or three chapters at most. There'll be smut on the second chapter between Ruby and Jaune. Turns out, being a sane Huntress has its perks.
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The pulsing lights of Junior's club cast a kaleidoscope of colors across the packed room, where bodies moved to the rhythm of the bass-heavy music. Amidst the crowd, men laughed, drank, and danced without a care, utterly unaware of the force of nature about to crash into their unsuspecting night. That force went by the name of Yang Xiao-Long, and she was on a mission.
Yang leaned against the bar, golden hair spilling down her back like a mane of fire, her lilac eyes scanning the room with the intensity of a predator. She wasn't here to party. She wasn't even here to fight, surprisingly. No, Yang had one thing on her mind tonight: find a guy, bring him home, and finally get some fucking dick.
It sounded so simple, right? She was a Huntress, one of the strongest, most beautiful women in all of Remnant. They were the only ones who could use Aura, and that made them both the strongest and the hottest. Propag- er, totally accurate documentaries showed just how amazing they were. Lone Huntresses turning the tide, taking down an entire horde to save a village with barely a dent to her Aura. They were perfect in just about every way that mattered.
In any normal world, guys would have been falling over themselves to spend a night with her. They'd beg for just a bit of her attention and fight each other like horny monkeys for the chance to see her tits. And yet, for decades - no, for generations - there was an unspoken truth that haunted every Huntress.
Not a single one of them had any gods damn rizz.
It didn't make any sense. They were tough, attractive, and exuded raw power and sex appeal. But something about the whole package just sent men running for the hills. For as long as anyone could remember, Huntresses had been trying - and failing miserably - to get guys to hook up with them. And Yang, for all her charm and confidence, was no exception.
There were a few that broke the curse, of course. There was her mom and 'Auntie' Summer. They somehow managed to not only hook up with Dad, but they both married him. It made the news, though mostly because of how insane people thought Dad was. Most guys ran for the hills getting the attention of even a single Huntress, but 'that madman' (the words the press used so long ago) had gone and tied the knot with two. Yang thought that maybe that luck would pass down to her.
It didn't, of course.
Tonight, though? She was determined to change that. No more rejections. No more awkward, sweaty guys making excuses. She was going to make this work. She had to. She was nineteen, for fuck's sake. Being a virgin when she had this body and this hair was fucking insulting.
Spotting her first target, a guy leaning against the wall, sipping a drink and looking about as alone as she felt, Yang smirked. Perfect. She sauntered over, hips swaying with what she thought was pure sex appeal, her boots clicking against the floor with each step. The guy, a tall and muscle-y Dog Faunus with light brown hair, glanced up as she approached. His expression flickered with mild curiosity, then a flash of uncertainty as he locked eyes with her.
"Hey, there," Yang said, sliding into his personal space without any hesitation, "You look like you could use some company tonight. How about we skip the small talk and get outta here?"
The guy blinked, taken aback, "Uh, what?"
Yang's smirk widened as she leaned closer, her breath hot against his ear, "I'm saying, let's blow this place and head back to mine. I've got a bed that's practically begging for us to break it. And you."
The guy swallowed hard, his eyes darting around like a deer caught in headlights. "Uh...b-break it?"
Yang's confidence flared. She fucking had this, "Oh yeah. You and me, we're gonna have a wild time. Trust me, you've never experienced anything like this before. You're not gonna be walking by the time I'm done with you. Your pelvis is gonna get fucking crushed." She grinned, the gesture all teeth.
The man took a half-step back, clearly trying to edge away from her without making it obvious, "That, uh...sounds intense. Maybe too intense."
Her smirk faltered slightly, her lilac eyes narrowing in what she hoped was a sexy way, "Come on, big guy, don't tell me you're scared of a little fun? I'll go easy on you...maybe." She threw in a wink for good measure. That was the killshot right there.
The buff Faunus coughed and looked anywhere but her, "Uh, you know, I just remembered I have to get up early tomorrow. Really early. Like, super early. For...work." He didn't even bother trying to make it sound convincing before hastily excusing himself and slipping back into the crowd, practically running for his life.
Yang stared after him, blinking in disbelief, "...You've gotta be fucking kidding me." She stood there for a moment, processing the rejection. Again. Her fists clenched at her sides as she scowled at the empty space where the guy had been. This was becoming a serious problem.
She turned back toward the bar, grabbing a drink she hadn't even ordered and downing it in one gulp. Her gaze swept the room, frustration boiling beneath her cool exterior. This wasn't supposed to be this difficult. She was Yang Xiao-Long, for crying out loud! Guys should be throwing themselves at her feet, not running for the exits!
But this was the curse that all Huntresses faced. For as long as they'd been around, they had the reputation of being the strongest, fiercest, and most drop-dead gorgeous women on the planet. But also, somehow, the least desirable when it came to getting a man's attention. It was an irony so cruel, so absurd, that Yang couldn't even laugh about it anymore. How did it make any sense? She was young, she was hot, and she wanted to get fucked. What about that screamed 'run for the hills'?
Across Remnant, the stories were the same. Guys didn't want a Huntress. Sure, they admired them, respected them even. But when it came down to something more, something physical? Nope. They bailed. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.
Weiss had tried the icy, aloof approach, figuring guys would be drawn in by her elegance and mystery. Instead, she ended up scaring them off in about two sentences. Blake? Well, her whole 'brooding loner' thing worked about as well as you'd expect - meaning not at all. And Ruby? Yeah, her little (only by a couple weeks, but still) sister acted like she was too good for it all, the little White Knight. No one was buying it, Rubes. They all knew she wanted it just as much as they did.
Yang gritted her teeth and scanned the room again, zeroing in on another guy. This one was a bit shorter, a bit scruffier, but maybe he'd be more open to her direct approach. With renewed determination, she marched over to him, not even bothering with subtlety, "Hey," she said, louder than necessary, "You and me. Let's get out of here. I'm not in the mood for games, and you look like you need something exciting in your life."
The guy blinked up at her, clearly confused. "Uh...come again?"
Yang leaned in close, placing a hand on his shoulder, her fingers gripping just a little too tight. "You heard me. Let's go. You, me, a bottle of something strong, and we'll see where the night takes us. You won't regret it."
The guy's eyes went wide, and he glanced nervously around, clearly looking for an escape route, "Uh, yeah, I don't think that's a good idea. I've, uh, got...plans. Really important plans. Sorry."
And just like that, he slipped away into the crowd, leaving Yang standing there, dumbfounded. Her jaw tightened as she stood alone once again, the weight of rejection pressing down on her. This was supposed to be easy. She had everything a guy could want - looks, strength, confidence. But it didn't matter. None of it mattered because no matter what she did, she was too much. Too intense. Too much of a Huntress.
Yang grabbed another drink, more to soothe her bruised ego than anything else, and downed it in one go. She could already hear the whispers from other Huntresses echoing in her mind. They all had the same stories, the same frustrations. They'd talk about it in hushed tones, half-laughing (while crying) and half-resenting how unfair it all was. Ruby would've told her that she needed to focus on actually being a Huntress. Pfft, what did she know?
They could kill Grimm by the dozens, survive against impossible odds, but when it came to getting a guy? It was hopeless.
She was about to look for another vict- possible partner when she saw something that made her blood boil. Yang's eyes narrowed as she growled low in her throat, her gaze locked on a corner booth near the back of the club. There, sitting all cozy and smug on Ren's lap, was Nora, grinning like she'd won the jackpot - which, let's be real, she totally had.
"Lucky bitch," Yang muttered under her breath, her grip tightening on the edge of the bar as she watched them. Nora was laughing, practically glowing with happiness, while Ren, as always, looked calm and composed, his arm casually wrapped around her waist like it was the most natural thing in the world.
The childhood friend life hack, Yang thought bitterly, shaking her head. Nora had it all figured out early. Bagged herself a guy before any of the real competition even showed up. Grew up with him, spent years getting all buddy-buddy, and then bam, relationship solidified. It wasn't fair. Yeah, okay, she was an orphan who got abandoned by her mom, which totally sucked (something Yang would never know), but she got Ren in exchange. Seemed like a pretty good offer.
Yang huffed, pushing her hair back from her face. Should've done that when I was a kid, she thought with a scowl. If she'd known it'd be this hard later on, she would've picked some poor boy in Patch, roughhoused with him a little, and claimed him for herself before any other girls had the chance. But no, instead, she had been off training, fighting, and, you know, fighting Grimm. By the time she realized guys were actually a thing she might want to try...well, everyone else had already paired off or was too terrified of her to even think about flirting.
Not that she could blame them, at least not completely. Yang wasn't exactly the queen of subtlety. She liked what she liked, and she had no problem going after it. Problem was, that kind of intensity wasn't exactly working in her favor these days. Why the hell didn't guys like the idea of getting rode so hard that their spines snapped?
She tore her eyes away from Nora and Ren, trying not to grind her teeth in jealousy. They looked so comfortable together, so...easy. Ren was just sitting there, all chill, while Nora had claimed her place like it was no big deal. If Yang tried that, guys would've been running for the hills. Or worse, try to be nice and polite and tell her they only saw her as a friend. Shit, she'd take screaming and running over that.
Yang wasn't one for jealousy, usually, but this? Seeing Nora, bubbly, hyperactive Nora, of all people, locked down a guy like Ren, who was basically the embodiment of calm and collected? That stung.
"Should've found me a Ren when I had the chance," Yang grumbled, knocking back her drink and slamming the glass down on the bar a little harder than necessary.
But nope, instead she'd gone and gotten herself a reputation. Strong, aggressive, and, according to the guys of Remnant, way too intense to handle. It wasn't like she was trying to scare every guy off. It just...happened. Every time. They saw the muscles, the fiery attitude, the Aura, and they bolted. You would've thought a pair of tits like hers would change their mind, but nope. She might as well have been as flat as Weiss for all the good her girls did her.
Yang glanced back at Nora again, who was now playfully bopping Ren on the head with her finger, and Ren, of course, just let it happen with a faint smile. The whole thing was so...domestic, it made Yang's teeth hurt from how sweet it was. She knew she could never pull that off. Even if she somehow managed to convince a guy to stick around long enough to get to the whole "lap-sitting" stage, she'd probably scare him off again with one of her overly aggressive come-ons or by suggesting they actually break a bed.
It wasn't her fault she liked things a little rough. Guys liked that, right? Except, apparently, they didn't. At least not when she came at them like a hungry lioness sizing up her next meal, "Damn it, Nora," Yang muttered, crossing her arms and leaning back against the bar, staring at the ceiling. "Why'd you have to be so lucky?"
But no. She wasn't going to let this beat her. If Nora could bag herself a guy, so could she. Hell, she had way more going for her than Nora. Aura, muscles, gorgeous hair, a personality that was...okay, maybe a bit much sometimes, but still! Guys liked confident girls, right?
Yang's gaze swept the room again, locking onto her next target - a guy leaning against the wall, alone, sipping a drink. This one looks like he's got potential, she thought. Time to put the Yang Xiao-Long charm into overdrive.
She strode over, cracking her knuckles with confidence, but a small part of her couldn't help but glance back at Nora one last time. Damn lucky childhood friends.
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Blake sat on a bench in the park, her usual calm and composed demeanor in place as she gazed at the distant horizon, pretending to be lost in thought. It was a quiet day, with the sun casting long shadows through the trees, and the gentle breeze rustling the leaves above her. It was the perfect setting for a romantic encounter - or so she thought.
She crossed her legs delicately, the edge of her novel resting on her lap, strategically angled so that the cover - a romantic saga about star-crossed lovers - was visible to anyone who might walk by. In her mind, this was the ideal setup: mysterious, alluring, like something straight out of the books she loved so much. She'd read all about how to attract men in those novels. The dark, brooding heroine, quietly captivating with her tragic backstory and unreachable air of mystery - guys loved that. They couldn't resist.
Right?
Blake took a deep breath, keeping her expression distant, enigmatic. She'd practiced this look in the mirror. It was perfect, wasn't it? Guys should be falling at her feet any moment now. All she had to do was wait.
Across the park, she spotted her first potential target. A guy in a leather jacket, headphones slung around his neck, looking like the rebellious type - exactly the kind of character she'd read about in Moonlit Passions. He was walking towards her, completely unaware of the trap she was about to spring.
'Alright, Blake, you've got this. Just be cool, be mysterious, be like that femme fatale in Shadow's Embrace,' She leaned back slightly on the bench, her amber eyes half-lidded, 'Don't talk too much. Guys love it when you're quiet and deep. Just let them be intrigued by your aura.'
As he got closer, Blake uncrossed and recrossed her legs slowly, like she'd read in one of her books. She cast her gaze sideways, trying to look like she was pondering the great mysteries of life, her hands gently resting on her book as though she hadn't even noticed him. It was the perfect pose, the kind that screamed, I'm interesting and you want to get to know me.
The guy walked right past her without even glancing her way.
Blake's cat ears twitched, her brows furrowing in frustration. What the hell? That wasn't supposed to happen. She had nailed the look, right? Maybe he just hadn't noticed. Maybe she needed to be more...obvious, without seeming obvious.
She cleared her throat softly, then louder, making sure her next potential victim - no, target - could hear. It was another guy, this one sitting a few benches away, casually looking through his scroll. He was just sitting there, not doing anything important, so surely he was the type to appreciate a mysterious girl appearing in his life, right?
Blake stood up, letting her long black hair cascade down her shoulders as she slowly walked over, her book clutched against her chest. She'd read that scene a thousand times in her novels - where the alluring woman casually approaches the man, says something cryptic or intellectual, and leaves him begging for more.
When she got close, she stopped just shy of his bench, tilting her head ever so slightly so that the sun caught the edge of her profile, "Do you ever wonder..." she began, her voice soft, just like the heroines in her books, "What it's like to be haunted by a past you can never escape?"
The guy glanced up from his Scroll, blinking in confusion. "Uh...what?"
Blake's heart raced, 'Okay, Blake, keep it mysterious. He's hooked now. Play it cool.' She shifted slightly, trying to make her expression more brooding, "It's...just something I think about sometimes. The weight of it. It's...heavy, isn't it?"
The guy just stared at her, his brow furrowing, "Um, I guess? I don't really think about stuff like that..."
Blake frowned. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! He was supposed to be intrigued by her depth, her mystery! The tragic past just begging to be exposed! She quickly tried to recover, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in what she hoped was an alluring, yet vulnerable gesture, "I've...read a lot about it," she said, holding up her novel as if that would somehow explain everything, "In books, I mean. Books about...life and loss."
The guy looked down at the book, his confusion only deepening. "Is that...a romance novel?"
Blake smiled. This was it. This was her shot, "It is," she murmured, voice alluring. Hopefully, "A story about love and loss, about a woman whose traumas are healed by the perfect guy who understands her pain."
The guy blinked again, and then, without a word, went back to looking through his scroll. Blake stood there, awkwardly, for a moment too long before finally turning on her heel and walking back to her own bench, feeling her cheeks burn at the realization that he hadn't taken the bait.
Okay. That didn't go as planned. But that was fine. It was fine. He just wasn't the right type. Yeah, that was it. The next one would be better.
She sat back down, her mind racing as she mentally flipped through all the romantic advice she'd absorbed from her novels over the years. What was she missing? Was she being too forward? No, she was being mysterious! Guys were supposed to like that! She sighed heavily, leaning back against the bench and staring up at the sky. Maybe I need to be even quieter, she thought, Maybe I'm still saying too much.
But as the afternoon dragged on, Blake tried again. And again. And again.
Each time, the result was the same. Guys looked at her like she was speaking in riddles, or worse, like she was just plain weird. One even asked her if she needed help finding her way to therapy. The horror. The cringe.
Her "quiet and mysterious" act wasn't landing. At all.
By the time the sun was starting to set, Blake was slumped on her bench, her book hanging limply from her hand, defeated. 'This was supposed to work', she thought miserably, 'It worked in all the stories. Why not here?' She groaned, burying her face in her hands. 'Maybe Yang's right', she thought with a frown, 'Maybe I should just go punch a guy and see if that works.'
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Weiss Schnee stood in another park, far from where Blake was bumbling her own attempts at romance. She had no intention of sharing space or strategy with her Faunus teammate - this was a personal mission, after all. She had her own ideas of how to attract men, and besides, the whole "brooding mystery" thing Blake did was far too... unrefined for her taste. Too desperate.
No, Weiss was going for something far more sophisticated. Far more...elegant.
She walked slowly through the pristine park paths, her posture perfect, her hands laying delicately at her sides. The sun shimmered off her white hair, pulled up in its signature side-ponytail, and her icy blue eyes held a haughty, distant gaze. Weiss was embodying the Ice Queen persona she had perfected over the years. The untouchable heiress. The aloof, icy beauty that men would yearn for but never believe they could possess. It was all about making them come to her, drawn like moths to a flame.
The plan was flawless...on paper, anyway.
Weiss had imagined it all: men watching her from afar, entranced by her grace and poise, falling hopelessly in love with her unattainable allure. They'd approach her, nervous, their hearts pounding, offering shy compliments and stammering attempts to impress her. She'd barely acknowledge them, her responses clipped and cold, leaving them desperate for more. It was a delicate game of intrigue and restraint, one she had read about countless times in classic romance novels - specifically the ones where strong, rugged men were drawn to elegant noblewomen like magnets. The kind that would...
No, focus! Weiss shook her head. This was about subtlety. Men were supposed to approach her. All she had to do was remain perfectly composed, letting her unmatched charisma and beauty do the work.
She made her way to a bench beneath a towering oak tree, her every step calculated to exude control. Sitting down, she crossed her legs, perfectly poised, and folded her hands in her lap. The nearby men - two joggers, a guy on a bench, a guy walking his dog - were within her view. 'This is it,' she thought. 'One of them is bound to come over, drawn in by my...presence.'
Minutes passed. Then more minutes. And then, as if on cue, one of the joggers slowed down, glancing her way. Weiss's heart quickened, though she kept her expression aloof. He's interested. He's coming over. He's...
He tied his shoelace and jogged off again without so much as a second glance.
Weiss's eyebrow twitched in irritation. What the hell? Did he not see her sitting there, the embodiment of perfection? Maybe he just wasn't the right type - clearly not discerning enough to appreciate her.
But then, another opportunity arose. A guy with messy blonde hair and a monkey tail swishing behind him, probably some countryside ruffian - she could tell just by his unkempt appearance - was walking by, lazily tossing a stick for his dog. He looked exactly like one of those rugged Valean country boys she'd read about, the kind who spent their days chopping wood and tilling fields, only to get swept up in a whirlwind romance with a woman who was clearly out of their league.
'Oh gods, yes,' Weiss thought, excitement bubbling under the surface. This was her chance.
This was the reason she'd fought for the right to attend Beacon. All the men in Atlas were such delicate, soft little things. Even her little brother Whitley, much as she adored him, was clingy and shy. If she attended Atlas Academy as Winter had wanted, she would've been trapped in a city full of soft, weak men. No, she refused. She wanted - needed - to be ravaged by some big Valean country boy who'd treat her as no less than a common strumpet.
It was hard to say goodbye to Whitley, Mother, and Winter (she could take or leave Father), but she would not be denied the ravaging she deserved.
The guy glanced her way, expression friendly, and Weiss took it as the opening she needed. She shifted her posture slightly, uncrossing and recrossing her legs in a way she thought was subtle, but that just made the bench creak a little. She kept her expression appropriately enticing as she beckoned him towards her with a single finger without saying a word. He gave her a curious look as he approached, and Weiss knew this was the moment.
He was just so Valean, she could feel it in the way he carried himself. In her mind, he was already imagining what it would be like to sweep a girl like her off her feet, to grab her by the waist, pin her against a barn door - No, Weiss, stay focused! This wasn't about your fantasies. Not yet.
But, oh gods, they were hard to ignore. As hard as the dick she wanted to demolish her soft, untouched petals.
As he walked past her bench, Weiss, in a burst of what she thought was her sophisticated Ice Queen tone, blurted out, "You must be used to fucking like a wild animal."
The man froze mid-step, his dog tugging impatiently at the leash, while Weiss immediately regretted every syllable that had escaped her mouth. She wasn't supposed to say that out loud. That was internal monologue only!
But the damage was done, and there was no going back now.
The man's brows furrowed, his face a perfect mask of confusion, "Uh, what?"
Weiss's decided to press the (nonexistent) advantage, "You know," she said, trying to salvage what was quickly spiraling into a catastrophe, "A man like you - someone from the countryside, no doubt - accustomed to taking what you want, unleashing your primal instincts. Ravaging women like me. It's only natural, of course. You see me, so elegant and beautiful, and you realize that you'd give anything to have me. You must already be thinking about how you want to make me choke on your cock."
There was a moment of silence so thick you could've cut it with Myrtenaster.
"Uh..." he stammered, clearly uncomfortable. Shit, "I'm just...walking my dog? And I'm not Valean?"
Weiss, who had already fully committed to this downward spiral, did everything she could to stop blushing as she continued, "That doesn't matter!" she snapped, flustered and grasping for anything that could make this less of a trainwreck, "Where you come from is unimportant. You can't deny that deep down, you probably fantasize about claiming someone like me! A refined, elegant woman, completely at your mercy. It's...only natural. There's no need to be ashamed. I consent."
The guy stared at her like she'd just sprouted a second head.
"I...what?!" He looked genuinely alarmed now, glancing around as if hoping someone would intervene. His dog tugged harder on the leash, desperate to move on.
Weiss couldn't stop the words pouring out of her mouth now. "It's just...in your instincts, you see? You're from somewhere else, you said. Vacuo, perhaps?" He nodded nervously, "Of course you are. You have that ruggedness about you. I've read about it, you know. In novels. The way you Vacuan rogues are compelled to act on your desires, to ravage a woman who you know is unattainable and that stokes your fiery want- "
"I gotta go," the guy said quickly, backing away like she was about to explode. His dog, seemingly in agreement, barked and practically dragged him off before Weiss could finish her tirade.
Weiss sat there, frozen in place, utterly horrified at what had just happened. What in the hell was that? She was supposed to be the Ice Queen, untouchable and refined, drawing men in with her cold allure. She wasn't supposed to be blurting out her fantasies about being ravaged by Valean country boys!
Not that she didn't want to be fucked stupid, but saying it all out loud was so...crude!
She couldn't help it, though. She'd read so many novels, so many stories about strong, rugged men losing control around women like her. The thought had wormed its way into her brain, and now it was manifesting in the worst possible way. Weiss took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. "Okay," she muttered under her breath. "He was just one man who didn't see what was right in front of him. There were other fish in the sea." She straightened up, trying to regain what little dignity she had left as she searched for more prey.
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Back at Beacon, Ruby was slumped over her desk, face planted firmly in her arms, groaning into the wood like the world was ending. Which, to her, it basically was.
It wasn't a Grimm invasion, a rogue Huntress, or some world-ending catastrophe that was driving her to despair. She would've taken any of those over this. No, it was something much worse: the ridiculous, collective obsession of literally every Huntress in Beacon wanting to fuck.
The halls of Beacon, which she'd expected to be filled with the sound of weapons clashing, Aura training, and tactical planning, was instead nothing more than a fraternity club she'd seen in those horrible college movies Yang liked. And Ruby, for the life of her, couldn't (or didn't want to) understand just how far the reality was from her fantasies of what a Huntress school would be like.
"Is everyone going insane?" Ruby grumbled, raising her head just enough to glare out the window, where, in the distance, she could see the buildings of Vale. The same Vale that was currently crawling with Huntresses - her team included - desperately trying to get laid. And failing, miserably.
Like, seriously?!
"All anyone talks about is guys! 'Oh, I'm gonna go to the club, maybe find a hot Valean boy.' 'Did you see the bartender? He's so cute!'" Ruby groused, throwing her hands in the air. "I thought we were training to be Huntresses, not...not..."
She sat up, scowling at her own reflection in the window. "Is it really that hard to focus on saving the world?! What happened to being heroes?! You know, killing Grimm? Protecting people? Doing our job?!"
But no, apparently, the latest craze around Beacon was guys. Specifically, the complete lack of success Huntresses had with them. All her teammates could talk about was how "unfair" it was that no one wanted to sleep with them, despite being, you know, the most powerful women on Remnant.
Ruby snorted at the thought. "Gee, maybe it's because you all act like maniacs the second you get within ten feet of a guy," she muttered to herself. She had seen the horror stories unfold firsthand. Yang, prowling through the clubs like a Huntress on the prowl for more than just Grimm. Blake, trying to play it cool but coming off more like an awkward weirdo who spouted nonsense about "soulful connections." And Weiss...well, Ruby didn't even want to know what happened with Weiss, but she had a sinking feeling it wasn't good.
It was ridiculous.
Ruby stood up and started pacing the small dorm room, hands in her pockets, her brow furrowed, "I mean, come on. Am I seriously the only one who remembers why we're even here? Who cares about getting laid?'There are Grimm out there! Monsters that need stopping! People that need protecting! There's so much to do!"
She stopped, staring at Crescent Rose propped up in the corner. Her baby. That was what mattered. Being a Huntress. Getting stronger. Making sure she could protect her team and the people of Remnant. Not...ugh...chasing guys like it was some kind of competition on who could get fucked first!
Ruby groaned again, throwing herself back onto her bed, her cloak flaring dramatically as she landed, "What is wrong with everyone?!" she practically yelled to the ceiling. Why was this such a big deal? Did everyone become Huntresses just cause they wanted dick? She shook her head. Actually, she didn't wanna know the answer to that.
The sheer exasperation in her voice bounced off the walls of the empty dorm, but it did little to alleviate the feeling of being the last sane person in an insane asylum. Ruby had tried to ignore it, tried to push through the awkward conversations, the constant eye-rolling whenever the subject of 'romance' (read: getting fucked stupid) came up, but it it was everywhere. Everyone was talking about it ever since she enrolled all those weeks ago, still bright-eyed and hopeful. The whole school was buzzing with whispers and complaints from Huntresses who couldn't figure out why they kept getting rejected.
"I mean, seriously, what are they expecting?" Ruby muttered, crossing her arms. "You're not gonna get a guy by threatening to suplex him, Yang! It's not that complicated, is it?"
But apparently, it was. For some reason, every Huntress was treating this like some unsolvable mystery. Like men were the most elusive prey on Remnant, when in reality, the answer seemed obvious to Ruby: just stop being so weird about it!
...Not that she had any luck on that front either. She was friendly with Jaune, the school nurse, but she wasn't obsessed with getting into his pants or anything. She wouldn't say no if he wanted to, of course, but at least she wasn't making an idiot out of herself down in Vale every time classes ended. The only one who wasn't acting like a moron was Nora, and that was more because she managed to get Ren early. It got her a lot of bitter, jealous whispers from everyone else.
She sighed, rolling over onto her stomach and burying her face in her pillow. "Is it so hard to just talk to someone like a normal person?" she mumbled into the fabric. She did it just fine with Jaune, after all. But no, apparently that was impossible for anyone else.
So here she was, stuck in a world where her friends and sister - her team - had lost their minds, running around town like a bunch of sex-crazed maniacs, all while she was stuck trying to keep her head on straight. Not that anyone seemed to notice.
Ruby groaned again, louder this time, "I swear, if I have to hear one more conversation about how 'unfair' it is that no guys will sleep with them, I'm gonna lose it. We have way more important things to worry about!" Like the Grimm? Or the bandits outside the walls? Or the fact that Salem had declared her intention to take every single man in Remnant for herself cause apparently even the Queen of the Grimm couldn't get any.
But no, apparently the end of the world could wait, because right now, all anyone cared about was their sex lives - or, more specifically, their complete lack thereof. This sucked.
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Poor Ruby. Just wants to be a Huntress but all her team cares about is getting laid. But you just KNOW she's gonna be a smug little gremlin about it when she gets some action from Jaune. Probably tell them they can watch fromt the cuck chair if they say please.
Question:
1. Obviously a joke, but which method appeals to you guys the most? Yang being intense. Blake being the mysterious heroine, or Weiss being the Ice Queen who wants to be ravaged?
2. I'm wondering if you guys would be interested in seeing more besides team RWBY. Not sure who though. Maybe Cinder or Neo?
Comments
The Brotherhood of Steel
1. Weiss 2. Coco, Cinder, and Glynda
Yugo Strange
Id prefer Ruby's in that we can just have a casual conversation together As for who else 🤔🤔🤔 What is Salem deal ? Though it would be hilarious if Ruby ,feed up with everyones batshit craziness just decided to ask out jaune in a normal way and he says yes
pilot puntastic
I'm suprised Blake doesn't have a story of her almost getting the Nora ending with Adam before he decided to break things off via train, probably because of all her dark brooding introspection that kept interrupting their terrorist activities. For the first I'm going Yang mostly because it can be misinterpreted as training. "You and me right now! Let's go break a sweat!" Hijinks ensue. For the second how about Emerald or Illia? They hold the unique position of failing at flirting so hard that they can't even convince someone as desperate as a huntress to sleep with them.
MilitiaMasker
1. Weiss. 2. Absolutely! Loved it, can’t wait for the next chapter!
Redwing641
Fuckin hell man. You didn’t need to make this so relatable
justaguy123
God it truly is a curse being the sane one in a sea of madness. Wouldn’t be the first time.
