Kristoffer Pauly
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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Book 3 - Chapter 33
🕑 Added 2025-08-31 21:05:55 +0000 UTC-Previous chapter-
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Chapter 33
“Woah, that’s gnarly!” Tyler exclaimed and scrambled back.
Bee came forward while I backed away from the Fishmonger.
[Appraisal x ]
Level 30 — ‘Fishmonger Spider’ — Boss
“You youngins look tasty!”
Ahah, so that’s what the Fishmonger was! You know, I’m just as surprised as you. Information on Trick Dungeons is pretty tightly kept within the Dungeon Architect’s department.
Believe it or not, this is an actual type of arachnid that exists somewhere out in the great universe. As with most creatures the GREAT GAME encounters, the interesting ones are saved and cloned for future use in Dungeons and the overworld as enemies and bosses. In its natural habitat, the Fishmonger Spider uses fish to catch its prey, usually animals drawn to the stink of its rotting hoard.
Apparently, if you buy and eat one of its fish, you’ll be injected by a potent neurotoxin that makes your muscles incapable of receiving signals from your brain, paralyzing you.
At the end of the day, this is just a big spider, so I’m sure you can figure out how to beat it.
“The appraisal guy is being weirdly supportive,” Panda remarked. “I guess he doesn’t want to die.”
A brown beam shot out from Bee’s eyes, striking the giant Fishmonger and strafing across many of the fish-spiders as they charged us.
I stomped on a fish as it skittered towards me. The ones struck by Bee’s beam started to leak foul-smelling fluids, and the Fishmonger Spider vomited grey chunky bile from between its mandibles.
Then the fish-spiders and boss started to ‘chuckle’ as Bee turned on her Delightful Aura. It was a cacophony that surely belonged only in the depths of hell. And comedy clubs catering to helium addicts.
Next, her Fungal Fortress sprouted up around us, and I just watched in horrified fascination as she skipped through the horde of enemies, all of which were puking and chuckling around her. Then she reached the boss and her hand glowed briefly before she touched its head. Lastly, she threw down a Bounceshroom right where she was standing and hopped back a step. As though they’d rehearsed it, the huge spider lunged for her, triggering the bounce effect and smashing itself up into the ceiling with a loud crunch.
“Holy fuck,” Panda muttered.
The Fishmonger Spider landed back down on the Bounceshroom and shot back up into the ceiling.
And again.
And again.
Each impact crushed and broke more of its large body and many legs, and the rapidly-spreading rot from her Rotting Touch meant that its flesh lost its structure and coherence, in turn leaving larger and larger chunks and splatters of foul blood and liquified flesh on the ceiling and floor.
When the Bounceshroom timed out, the boss was already a dead pile of mush, and Tyler and I had mostly cleaned up the small fish-spiders.
“You’re a scary little lady,” Tyler said, kicking aside a fish that was a heaving mess after having purged its insides repeatedly thanks to Bee’s Diarrhea Beam.
“I feel like I have lost my role as the one who kills shit,” I muttered disappointedly.
“It’s okay to lose to a woman, Gamby,” Brock told me.
We finished up the remainders of the fish-spiders, which apparently counted as kills for leveling up, since Tyler went up to level 6 in the process.
“What now?” Bee asked, after all the enemies were dead and her Fungal Fortress had expired.
“Maybe there’s an exit in the stall,” Panda guessed.
We went over to look, stomping the dead fish-spiders under our boots to get there, and sure enough, a trapdoor was in the floor behind where the Fishmonger had been sitting.
“Look what I found,” Tyler suddenly announced, presenting a limp and clearly rotten green-spotted grey flounder. I thought for a second he’d gone all the way over to fully insane and was about to tell him to put it back where he’d found it, but then the tooltip appeared.
[‘Stinky Fish’ x ]
Weapon
A rotten and foul-smelling flounder that somehow turned into a weapon upon death.
How exactly you’re meant to fight with this in any sensible way is a mystery, but have at it, I guess.
At least it’ll look funny.
Increases all rot-based damage by 25%.
Targets struck with this ‘weapon’ become afflicted with ‘What’s that smell?’ reducing their Charisma by 10 and losing the ability to use invisibility and camouflage effects.
By squeezing the middle of the Stinky Fish, a glob of concentrated nastiness can be launched up to 10 meters, afflicting anyone hit with Putrefaction, dealing rot-based damage until cured and lowering their resistances to afflictions by 50%.
Cooldown: 20 minutes
Weight: Approximately four and two quarters
“What the hell? That’s really good,” I said.
Rather than keep it for himself, Tyler handed Bee the ‘weapon’.
“Thank you!” she said excitedly. Then she gave him a large orange cherry that she pulled out of nowhere.
“Can I eat this?” he asked. “I’m starving.”
“Of course,” she told him.
As Tyler dug into the mystery fruit, I went over and pulled the trap door open.
I had expected an actual trap, but instead it was just an exit.
“This whole Dungeon was dumb,” Panda said.
“Yeah, what a waste of time,” I agreed.
“Hey, where did your panda go?” Tyler asked.
“What do you mean?” I replied.
Panda looked between him and Bee. “Did you lower his insanity gauge?”
“Yep.”
“You can do that?” I asked.
“Do what?” Tyler responded.
“Restore sanity with fruits,” I told him.
“Wait, I’m insane?” he asked.
“Not anymore,” Bee told him. “Come on.”
Then she hopped down through the trap door. I quickly followed, knowing what awaited us outside.
WARNING!
Now exiting level 30 Dungeon ‘The Fishmonger’s Shop’!
[Congratulations! You have unlocked an achievement! x ]
‘The Fishmonger’s Shop First Clear’
Cleared and escaped The Fishmonger’s Shop for the first time.
Remember that guy who got a promotion for designing this Dungeon?
They just sent him to my office, and I ate him.
Apparently that’s part of my duties now.
I don’t mind it so much.
Termite is actually quite tasty, especially with the magic of Deep-Frying.
Termites unfortunately die a bit too quickly for me to enjoy the meal fully, so they get a 7/10.
Oh right, you beat your first Trick Dungeon.
Congratulations.
They’re supposed to be really difficult.
Unfortunately, they don’t give achievements for beating one of those.
Don’t ask me why.
I think you should tell your Adjudicator friend to sue them into compliance though.
The System after all mandates proportional rewards for the challenges you overcome.
Reward: ‘Fishmonger’s Tasty Treat’
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