Kristoffer Pauly
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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -124
🕑 Added 2024-10-03 17:09:23 +0000 UTC-Previous chapter-
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Bit worried about the Nickelodeon joke, not sure if it's too spicy xD
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Chapter -124
The Core arrived in my hands and looked like a red Leftovers Wisp, but smaller. Despite being made from incorporeal matter, I was able to hold it in my hands.
Bee and I had split the 2000 Coins, and along with the 50 from the Double Trouble achievement, I was now sitting at 2558.01 Coins in total.
“I want to go back to Shellby and buy some more stuff,” I commented.
“Was just thinking the same thing,” Bee replied. “That Tincture really came in handy.”
“I should’ve bought one too.”
“Really hope you two get how lucky you were!” Panda lectured. “You don’t just survive a trap laid by the Flayed Queen. She’s known for how deadly her retribution is!”
“It’s good to know that Spin the Wheel can be quite powerful when paired with a Lucky Dice,” I mused.
“You’re not listening to me!” he exclaimed.
“I hear you just fine.”
“You only have one more of those left anyway, so you shouldn’t bank on it saving the day again.”
“There must be a reliable way to get more.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” he replied. “But maybe you get them from things involving chance? You got your first from beating Bee and Lordie in rock-paper-scissors after all.”
“I got the second one from destroying the Broadcast HQ though.”
“Let’s destroy the rest and get you more,” Bee said excitedly.
“Might as well,” I replied.
Panda sighed loudly.
I lifted up the Core in my hands and inspected it:
“What do the other items do?”
“Have a look,” Bee said, depositing the Halo, Tongue, and Mask on the pavement between us.
“I think you should use the Tongue, it might give you something good.”
“Obviously you should throw away the Mask,” Panda advised. “Red Pawn is just another word for ‘Slave to the Flayed Queen’.”
“The achievement said the Flayed Queen can’t hurt us anymore, so I say we keep it and sell it.”
“What about the Halo?” Bee asked.
“It fits with your wand, so I say you keep it too.”
“What about you? You did all the work, but you’re only gonna take the Core?”
“Think about it, the Red Pawn was level 99, so it’s got to give me something ultra-strong, right?”
She nodded, then put the Halo of Thorns atop her head, where it immediately resized itself and began to hover, spinning around very slowly. Then she took the flat of her hand and smacked the absolute shit out of the Bodysnatcher’s Tongue.
Bee grunted. “It was a fetish thing, apparently. They said they are going to distribute the footage to all the nine Demonic Realms.”
“Isn’t it illegal to do that with a minor?” I asked.
Panda shook his head. “It’s non-graphic, so it’s more-or-less just like those old Nickelodeon shows.”
“Ah, I see. Nonetheless icky though.”
“I’m not arguing with you there,” he replied.
“Still, that reference came to you a bit too easily,” I remarked with a suspicious glare.
“I don’t like what you’re implying,” Panda grumbled, crossing his arms.
“I’m just saying, maybe you really liked those weird slime shows.”
“What are you talking about?” Bee asked.
“You’re too young to know,” we replied simultaneously.
“It’s a blessing, truly,” Panda added.
“You said it.”
I lifted the Core up to my mouth before throwing it in. It immediately flew down into my lungs like an inhale of fresh air, which was a surprisingly-nice feeling.
I scratched my head. The Contagion ability seemed fun and could potentially work great if I fused it with something else, but if I was intentionally spreading insanity around, didn’t that make me the bad guy?
“You should take the armor,” Panda advised.
I nodded and picked the sword.
“You—!”
“I don’t need defense, Panda. And look at it this way, if I’d had that sword, I wouldn’t have had to burn a Lucky Dice to kill the Pawn, right?”
“Not sure it would’ve worked on him,” he muttered.
“Anything good on your end?” I asked Bee.
“Should I pick defense or attack?”
I considered it for a moment, before saying, “Definitely defense. You’ve got a lot of power already and with every level your power grows, but the Pawn made it obvious that you need more protection.”
“Then I’m picking this,” she said and shared a tooltip:
“Holy shit, a unique passive!?”
“I’m a bit worried about my insides becoming metal and the whole frost thing.”
“It’s a good choice though.”
“I concur,” Panda added.
“Okay!”
After picking it, nothing changed about her at all.
“Do you feel any differently?”
“No…”
“Why do you sound disappointed about that?”
“I don’t know. I expected there to at least be a little bit of fanfare or something.”
“You could try cutting off a pinkie-finger and seeing what it looks like,” Panda suggested darkly.
Bee and I both went silent, before turning to slowly look at him.
“…What?”
“That was fucked up,” I commented.
“I thought you were meant to be the voice of reason,” Bee said disappointedly.
Panda was holding his head in his squishy fingerless arms. “Why did I just suggest that?? What’s happened to me!?”
Suddenly, a wash of light filled the entire area, as though a massive spotlight had just been switched on. It easily covered an area that was half a mile across, centered on us. I looked up and saw an enormous black shape in the night sky, which blotted out the Messimer’s eyeball moon.
“What the—”
Giant overlapping triangles appeared on the ground, before a warning went out to the area:
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WARNING!
Child Protective Services have come to collect a Wayward Minor in distress.
The Amoral Pervert known as ‘Gambit’ has kidnapped her and will face public execution.
All other Players should vacate the landing zone.
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“Uh oh.”
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Out of the frying pan and into the fire, am i right?
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