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The Crippled Wolf-Stark SI: Ch.52

🕑 Added 2025-05-11 21:21:43 +0000 UTC

Comments

Sula

Thanks for the chapter, but I do have to wonder if you ever improve your dialogues. You've written hundreds of thousands words of stories and yet you still write like this: “It seems unlike any riddle I have ever heard,” and his gaze narrowed, trying to probe his intention. This is not a proper way to write a direct speech. You can't just write "and" after spoken words that end with ",". Either write: “It seems unlike any riddle I have ever heard,” Bob said and his gaze narrowed, trying to probe his intention. or “It seems unlike any riddle I have ever heard.” His gaze narrowed, trying to probe his intention. Furthermore: "his gaze narrowed, trying to probe his intention." => WHO is he? His gaze and his intentions? Use names or other descriptors when it's unclear. “So many wars?” and he nodded refusing to be distracted. => Who is "he"? Tyrion or Cregan? A reporting clause after the direct speech is used to tell the reader who is speaking. DO NOT use it to describe how other character reacted or what they did. Use new line for that if you must. This is proper way to format it: “So many wars?” He nodded refusing to be distracted.

f_2004_nashef

Oh damn... thx for the chapter

StoicPrince

Exceptional chapter! Thank you.

FallenMetalGod

Thank you. I always enjoy the conversations between Cregan and Tyrion. Reading about those two working together while having intelligent conversations during wars was always interesting. I am glad that Shireen is alright and so is Davos. Those two always got the short end of the stick on everything. Great job, and I am curious what happened to Renly and Loras. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Radiant Tiefling

Thank you for the chapter.


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