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530 – The Fake Ninja x The Real Ninja
🕑 Added 2025-09-19 16:28:57 +0000 UTC‘Clomp, clomp—'
‘Clomp, clomp—'
Her size-22 canvas sneakers pounded against the pavement with all the force of a raging giantess.
Eriri stomped furiously, as if trying to summon the local earth god just to ask why on earth someone had built a random family restaurant here of all places—and maybe also why these bushes were so darn scratchy!
“Um…”
“What?!” Eriri snapped, glaring at the guy beside her.
Not only was he related to that two-timing cat, he was also an accomplice in setting up this sneaky little date spot.
“N-nothing.” Katou Keiichi quickly waved his hands, starting to doubt his own theory.
Even for a brother complex, this was way too extreme…
‘Damn it, damn it, damn it! From this angle I can’t see a thing!’
‘Are they kissing, or just blowing sand out of each other’s eyes?’
‘Why aren’t they moving?’
‘Even if they are kissing, they’ve gotta breathe sometime—what is this, long-distance running practice?!’
Her little sneakers stomped the ground in frustration as Eriri tiptoed forward, craning her neck, desperate to peek past the sofa and Kyousuke’s back.
From her vantage point, she could only see the back of Kyousuke’s head and the pale curve of Katou Megumi’s neck.
And every time Megumi’s throat moved as if she were swallowing, poor Eriri nearly had a breakdown.
Were they… sharing spit or something?!
Absolutely disgraceful!
Her stomping grew louder, more like full-on tantrum stomps than delicate taps.
But Eriri’s shoes—so small and doll-like to begin with—just made her look more adorable.
To passersby, the “furious” blonde princess didn’t look scary at all, more like a puffed-up kitten with its fur standing on end.
“If you’re that curious, why don’t we get closer and take a look?” Keiichi suggested carefully.
“What kind of idiotic idea is that?! If we get closer, they’ll notice us!” Eriri shot back immediately.
But Keiichi glanced left and right, eyes flicking suspiciously.
Everyone walking past was already staring at Eriri.
Some so distracted they even bumped into others.
He even noticed two girls had been standing nearby for a while, whispering to each other—probably mistaking her for a celebrity.
Green knit cap, baseball jacket, jeans, canvas sneakers, and oversized sunglasses—far from looking like a stalker, the girl at his side had the air of a fashion model out for a casual street shoot.
“But… you do want to see, right?” he pressed.
Eriri froze mid-stomp.
Of course she wanted to! But if she got caught? The humiliation would kill her!
“If I go like this… I shouldn’t stand out too much, right?” she muttered, frowning.
That was exactly why she’d put on the green hat in the first place—to hide herself while spying through the bushes! Eriri wasn’t reckless.
Especially not after her mother’s “special training” back home.
She was a new, upgraded version of herself now—ultra-evolved!
“I don’t think you could stand out more if you tried,” Keiichi said honestly.
But Eriri hadn’t really been asking.
After one confident glance over her disguise, she was sure of it: this outfit was so unlike her usual style, there was no way Kyousuke would recognize her.
So she sniffed and warned him instead.
“Hey—you better not blow my cover!”
With that, she slipped around the bushes, circling to the back-left corner of the restaurant.
Along the way, she accidentally kicked over a food dish meant for stray cats and spent two whole minutes cleaning it up.
Then she spotted a little doghouse straight out of Crayon Shin-chan and worried an angry mutt might be inside, only to confirm it was empty after careful testing.
She even ran into a staff member, tried to pose like a pillar, failed, then attempted to bluff as a British embassy inspector scouting investments—only for the smiling staffer to politely inform her the entrance was on the other side.
“Phew—just as expected of me! Perfect infiltration, a hundred out of a hundred!”
The blonde princess wiped the sweat from her forehead—then froze.
Those same little hands had just been picking up food scraps earlier.
She shrieked in horror, flailing her fingers in disgust.
“Ahhh!”
Then it hit her.
‘Stealth mode! ‘
Quickly clamping her mouth shut, Eriri ducked down and peeked through the restaurant window.
Fortunately, none of the couples inside were paying attention.
Everyone was absorbed in their own dates—including her target, Kyousuke and Megumi, who were more focused than ever.
Kyousuke’s hand reaching out… to hold Megumi?
If they’d noticed her spying, there’s no way he’d dare try something like that.
Relieved, Eriri let out a long breath.
Infiltration was exhausting—her body and mind were wound so tight, she could feel her brain buzzing from the tension.
‘Huh…?’
Her green-capped head slowly turned, eyes sliding back to her target.
Kyousuke was sitting on the left, Megumi on the right, both angled toward each other.
Now Kyousuke’s right hand was reaching across the table toward her.
What was he doing? What could he be doing?!
‘That idiot!!’
Eriri shot up from behind the soda crates, bottles clattering noisily to the ground.
With her long strides, she charged toward the glass window.
‘BAM!’
The loud crash startled Kyousuke, who had been reaching for… an eraser.
He jerked his head toward the noise—only to see a familiar little face smushed flat against the glass.
Even with her cute nose squished into a piggy snout, Kyousuke instantly recognized his adorable princess, Eriri.
Confused why she was here of all places, he still couldn’t help smiling and waving, rising to his feet to go greet her.
But before he could move, Eriri peeled her face off the window, crab-walked sideways at lightning speed, and made a beeline for the restaurant entrance.
“Wow… there really are girls who go out without makeup~~”
Megumi’s voice rang with genuine surprise.
Kyousuke blinked, turning back. Megumi was staring at the window, astonished.
On the glass, Eriri’s breath still lingered, leaving behind a blurry imprint of her face—so ridiculous it was laughable.
And yet, not a trace of makeup: no lipstick, no foundation, nothing.
“Ah… haha…” Kyousuke scratched his cheek awkwardly.
He was used to Eriri bragging about her “natural beauty,” which really just meant she was too lazy to put on makeup.
But hearing Megumi say it out loud filled him with a strange, inexplicable guilt… like he’d failed to raise his hopeless daughter properly.
Kyousuke hesitated, choosing his words carefully.
“Eriri… well, she’s a little sensitive to cosmetics, so she can’t use regular makeup.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie, but not the whole truth either.
To be precise, Eriri’s life was sensitive to makeup.
Even something as simple as lip balm would eat into her already razor-thin schedule, making her late for school.
Sure, she carried a compact mirror in her bag, but its only real use was checking if her supposedly “naturally beautiful” face had any pillow marks from napping in class.
“Ohhh, that does sound tough.”
Megumi nodded calmly, expressing polite sympathy.
Whether she actually bought such a flimsy excuse was anyone’s guess, but for most normal girls, not being able to use cosmetics would indeed be rough.
(Parentheses: normal girls. Double parentheses: girls who actually know how to use makeup.)
Before Kyousuke could leave the booth to greet Eriri, another face suddenly squished itself against the glass window.
‘Uh… who the heck are you?’
As a novelist with an ironclad sense of logic, Kyousuke worked it out quickly: someone connected to him had already shown up, so this stranger must be one of Megumi’s acquaintances.
He glanced at her, only to find her pretty, pale face utterly serene—nothing like his own surprise when Eriri had appeared.
Wait a second.
Even he had been startled by Eriri, so why was Megumi completely unfazed?
That’s when Kyousuke realized he’d overlooked something.
The blonde, green-capped princess pushed open the restaurant door, striding in with such star power that even the waitress needed two beats before finding her voice.
“Welcome, ma’am. How many in your party?”
Eriri launched straight into her “Operation Catch the Cheater” routine, borrowed directly from anime.
Even though she already knew where Kyousuke and that sneaky cat were sitting, she still made a big show of scanning the room like a detective on a bust.
“Um, miss…?” the waitress ventured carefully.
“One. Thanks. My friends are already here,” Eriri snapped, her “thank you” sounding more like a threat, before stomping off toward Kyousuke’s table.
The waitress, who had been ready to remind her that the couple in that booth had ordered a “lovers’ set meal,” hesitated.
The blonde girl radiated such star-like charisma that the words died on her tongue.
Maybe… maybe couples could come in threes too?
While the waitress was still dazed, the door swung open again.
“Welcome, sir. How many in your party?”
“One. My cousin’s already here.” Keiichi smiled, pointing toward Eriri as he tried to follow her in.
“That booth is already full, sir. May I seat you over here instead?” the waitress asked sweetly.
“Huh?” Keiichi blinked.
Hadn’t that girl just gone right in? And besides—
“But isn’t there still room?”
“That section is reserved for couples.”
“…But that girl just went in there!”
The waitress fell silent, but Keiichi felt the sharp sting of invisible judgment.
“…She’s my sister,” he muttered defensively.
He wanted to say more, but the waitress’s eyes clearly asked: And you think you belong in the lovers’ zone too? With a sigh, Keiichi relented.
“Right this way~”
Back at the booth, both Megumi and Kyousuke stood to greet Eriri, the former even stepping out of her seat.
Eriri, however, didn’t storm forward in a blaze of righteous fury like the anime heroines she’d studied.
Instead, her steps faltered.
She’d spotted the table—covered in textbooks and study notes.
Her little feet wobbled.
The intimidating aura of her march wavered.
Crap. Not the ‘Study-Outside-School Syndrome’!
The rows of geometry diagrams and English vocabulary almost made her turn tail right then and there.
And then she saw Kyousuke’s situation: ruler in one hand, eraser in the other.
What kind of lunatic tried to hug a girl while holding stationery?
Was this an ad for an office supply company?!
“Heh… hahahaha. G-good afternoon, Megumi,” Eriri greeted with forced laughter, masking her unease.
“Good afternoon, Eriri-chan,” Megumi replied warmly.
“Come on, sit down.”
Kyousuke’s voice was calm.
He knew he was being deliberately ignored, but he didn’t mind.
Girls’ moods were like summer rain—unpredictable, better met with quick-dry clothes than forecasts.
Megumi didn’t press further.
She simply lifted a pile of study materials from the other side of the booth and placed them neatly on Kyousuke’s side.
“Here, sit down, Eriri,” she said with an easy smile, her gestures so natural they carried neither false warmth nor a hint of “claiming territory.”
‘But… but I wanted to sit next to Kyousuke!’
Eriri’s big eyes darted longingly at the space beside him, but after a silent struggle, she could only whimper internally and slump down beside Megumi instead.
“Thirsty? Want some water?”
Kyousuke slid his own glass toward her.
After all her running around, Eriri was parched.
She didn’t hesitate, grabbing it and gulping it down in one go.
“Ahhh~ I have revived!” she sighed happily, grinning like a carefree child.
Katou Megumi’s gaze flicked subtly toward the glass of water.
If she remembered right, Hojou-kun had already drunk from it—there was only half a glass left, plain as day.
Eriri, of course, didn’t seem to care at all.
Just as the group was about to start talking, an unfamiliar voice suddenly cut in.
“Hey, hey, Megumi! Don’t forget about me—your dear cousin! Don’t pretend you don’t see me!”
Smiling from ear to ear, Keiichi Kato finally spoke up after standing around in silence for ages.
“Ah, sorry, I thought being ignored was a hereditary Kato family skill,” Megumi replied with a breezy smile.
Her tone was so natural it almost felt like she was deliberately ignoring him just to make his ninja-like family role more convincing.
“Huh? He’s someone you know, Megumi?” Hojou Kyousuke asked.
Meanwhile, Eriri—desperate not to reveal that she had actually been secretly eavesdropping outside for quite a while—pretended to study the textbooks on the desk with exaggerated focus.
‘Ahhh no, this is bad, I’m going to die!’
She only managed one glance before her vision spun, forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut.
Clutching the cool glass of water like a lifeline, she tried to calm herself.
Too terrifying! These monsters were even more sinister once freed from the school’s seal!
“This is my cousin, Keiichi Kato,” Megumi explained softly. “He’s the one who, at every single family gathering, always calls all the Kato girls together just to watch that video of you, Hojou-kun, doing your sword-draw slash.”
She gave the introduction but notably did not introduce Hojou Kyousuke back to her cousin.
“I am Keiichi Kato, a loyal fan of yours, Hojou-sensei!” the young man declared.
Ah, so it’s you, huh…
Old humiliating memories came rushing back to torment Kyousuke.
Back when he first met Megumi, she had seemed to know absolutely nothing about him.
But as soon as she heard his name, she rattled off every embarrassing detail like she had a catalog in her head.
When he asked why, since she’d never read his work, she answered:
“Mm, I remember—you’re the guy who went ‘Ha!’ on TV and sliced that straw mat into pieces.
My cousin once gathered all the Kato sisters just to make us watch that video.
And whenever we visited his place after that, he always had it playing again. So~ I kind of memorized it.
I was just so shocked when a stranger called me by name earlier that I didn’t connect it right away.
“Oh, and the stuff about manga and novels? Yeah, my cousin kept telling us those stories over and over, so when I heard you introduce yourself, I immediately remembered.
“Still, I was so surprised! I never thought I’d get to talk with someone so amazing.”
That’s what Megumi had said back then.
And at that moment, Kyousuke swore: ‘If I ever meet that guy, I’ll make sure he experiences firsthand what it means to be cut into four pieces with just one strike!’
“Ah~ it’s not that exaggerated,” Keiichi scratched the back of his head, grinning with faux modesty.
“I just thought—how could I not show such an incredible video to Megumi and the others? It’s not like I watch it all the time. Only when Megumi and her sisters came over would I pull out the tape so everyone could enjoy it together.”
“…”
Kyousuke took two deep breaths, then forced a warm smile.
“This Saturday, our school’s kendo club is having a training camp. If you don’t mind, why not come join us?” he invited politely.
“Really!? You mean your newly-formed Ultra Invincible Galactic Fleet?” Keiichi’s face lit up with joy.
“…Yes.” Kyousuke ground his teeth.
“Please, let me come! I’ll cover all my own expenses!”
“There’s no need to go that far—”
“Pfft—hahaha!”
Suddenly, laughter broke the tension.
Keiichi glanced down to see the girl who looked suspiciously like Hojou’s “younger sister” covering her mouth, giggling uncontrollably.
“I—I just remembered something funny,” Eriri waved her hands, secretly touched.
Kyousuke’s “underling” was way too considerate—without even knowing the details, he’d immediately stepped up to take her side.
Because she knew better than anyone: outside of school hours, bringing up kendo training around Kyousuke never led to anything good.
It was always extra practice, more extra practice.
Even when Mitsuha and Kyousuke switched bodies, they used “extra practice” as a form of revenge against Eikichi Onizuka and the others.
That’ll teach you to say I’m Hojou’s sister! Megumi’s his sister, not me!
