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Chapter 164 – After Hesitation, There’s Always a Choice to Make
🕑 Added 2025-09-18 18:05:44 +0000 UTC"Is this really okay?"
It was a broad, vague question.
But Aoki knew exactly what Bocchi-chan meant.
...
Whether there was a problem, or what the eventual outcome would be—he didn’t actually know.
And right now, he didn’t want to waste the mental energy to think about it.
"How should I handle this friendship moving forward?" — that wasn’t a high school math problem with a clear, step-by-step answer.
Bocchi-chan was attentive; she cared about her friends’ feelings.
But with a question like "Is this really okay?", how was Aoki supposed to respond?
He looked up, meeting the gaze of Gotou Hitori, who sat diagonally across from him.
A moment of quiet passed.
A few seconds later, Aoki gave a small shake of his head.
“No, it’s nothing serious—just haven’t been feeling well these past couple of days,” he said, offering a clumsy excuse.
If they were just ordinary friends, or if Bocchi-chan were more experienced at “reading the air,” she might have simply nodded and accepted that.
Unfortunately, she was neither.
His words reached her ears.
She looked up at him briefly—then quickly lowered her gaze again.
“Ah… s-so, you’re not feeling well…”
She hesitated.
Looking at Aoki, she debated whether to keep speaking.
But after a pause, she chose to continue.
“I… I don’t know what’s going on with you, Aoki-senpai. I-I know saying things like ‘Is this really okay?’ can sound fake or empty, but… if there’s something wrong, then as friends… we… we should try to comfort each other at least a little…”
Her voice stumbled over the words, but Aoki heard them clearly.
He knew some words sounded empty—comfort and platitudes rarely helped in matters like this.
If comfort truly worked, he would have already made peace with himself long ago.
But unfortunately, right now he was still stuck on one question: in the future, how was he supposed to face Kita? How was he supposed to face her feelings for him?
For now, he could pretend it didn’t matter—let things drift naturally, without making a move.
But after this?
More than comfort, what he needed now was a solution.
He said nothing, just looked at Gotou Hitori.
Like she’d said—if something’s wrong, friends should offer comfort.
Even if it’s just for show, even if it changes nothing—at least it might give her a little peace of mind.
So Bocchi-chan spoke again.
Her tone was still hesitant, still halting—but there was a clear sincerity in it.
“Uh… well… my mom once told me… if there’s some kind of problem in social situations, then in the end… one side has to compromise. After that, the two people just have to talk things out clearly. Most problems can be solved that way…”
Too bad that his situation with Kita didn’t fall under “most problems.”
Some things couldn’t be explained away with a simple conversation.
He glanced at the scattered piano keys in front of him, lost in thought.
Gotou went on.
“If… if you fail to reach your original goal, then… then you just work harder… and… if someone laughs at you—n-no, wait. Someone like you, Aoki-senpai… you probably don’t care about being laughed at…”
She was serious—offering solutions she truly thought might help.
Aoki stayed silent.
A strange curiosity stirred in him.
When it was his problem, he hesitated, wavered, second-guessed himself.
But what if it were someone else facing this?
Would they hesitate like him? Or simply accept it—and bear the pressure they’d placed on themselves?
Or perhaps… would they cut off the girl’s feelings without mercy?
Was hesitation really the right choice?
For him, maybe it was.
But was there truly no better way?
When Bocchi-chan finished speaking, she hesitated.
Aoki lifted his gaze from the piano keys.
He looked at her and asked, simply—
“Then… what if you have to make a choice? No matter what you choose, things might turn out worse. What do you do then?”
Their eyes met.
It was a vague question; he didn’t expect her to answer.
The pink-haired girl looked uncertain, as if weighing her words.
It took a while, long enough for Aoki to think about ending this whole “pointless comfort” conversation—when Bocchi-chan spoke again.
“T-That question…” Her tone was still hesitant, but now with a deep sincerity. “Aoki-senpai… honestly, I’ve never been in that kind of situation before…”
“If either choice might make things worse… then, if it were me… I’d probably hesitate for a long time.”
“But… if I had to choose…”
“Then I’d pick the one that I believed was right…”
“You can’t stay stuck forever. Even if you delay it for as long as possible… in the end, you have to choose something. And if it turns out badly… then you just figure out how to fix it afterward… b-because… people have to look forward, right?”
…
Her words trailed off.
Aoki sat in silence for a while, letting them sink in.
It was the perfect, “model answer.” Practical. Reasonable.
And yet, whenever he had thought of this “model answer” before, it had irritated him to no end.
But now, Bocchi-chan had laid it plainly before him.
…
‘People have to look forward.’
It was true.
Whether necessary or not, there are moments when you have to face the future.
But his own future? He had no concrete picture—only uncertainty.
You make a choice between two options. If it goes wrong, you find a way to make up for it.
You can’t keep hesitating forever…
If someone like Kita had never met him, she would probably be happier this November.
That beautiful face, that lovable personality, that dazzling smile…
And yet, because of something he once said, she had felt such sharp emotions.
He knew that when Kita faced him now, she was often forcing a smile.
And when he had chosen silence, chosen hesitation—he had still caught the glimmer of tears in her eyes.
When the moment comes to choose, even if he must bear the consequences himself, he shouldn’t let her suffer because of his hesitation.
“People have to look forward…” Aoki drew in a slow breath, quietly repeating her words.
Then he reached out and switched off the keyboard.
Looking at Gotou Hitori, he said, “I understand now. Thanks, Bocchi-chan.”
