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Verse 2 Print Notes
🕑 Added 2022-10-28 07:34:10 +0000 UTCHi there!
Here we are, at last.
I'm proud and excited to tell you that A Hero Past the 25th: Paradise After goes to sale in mid-November, and thereby puts the second episode of the long-running web serial between solid covers.
Well, I did the promotional speech already months ago. Let's skip.
Hope you'll like it.
If you decide to get the book, I'd appreciate any thoughts or feedback you can give! And about the previous book too, naturally. I always welcome opinions. I mean, I may throw a temper tantrum if I don't like what you say, but you should tell me anyway. I can't hit you through the monitor, so no reason to go easy on me here.
Right.
The rewrite work is about done, and all that's left is one more machine-assisted proofreading pass, and the print layout. The layout is quite a simple process, since I'll be using the same template and text styles I created previously for Royal Banquet. There will be a new cover illustration too, of course. Not the image featured on this post, that's just a quick promotional poster. I'll try to do something better than that.
I have no control over the exact date the book goes live, as it depends on how long of a submission queue there is and how quickly Amazon's staff approves the file, but I have faith it won't take super long. This is the fourth print book I'm putting out now via KDP, it's usually a fairly painless process.
Phew.
This project was challenging and a lot of fun, but at the same time I'm really, really glad and relieved to finally get it out of the way and move on to other things.
A project that would've normally taken no more than 2-3 months ended up taking well over half a year due to my random health issues. All I can do is shake my head. It couldn't be helped!
Anyway, I've already written about my work process, influences, and goals for this release in the previous posts, so I'll refrain from going back to that again.
Everything's pretty much said about this one, huh?
Instead, if you like, have a look at the change notes I compiled for this part, listing some of the alterations made to the web novel. Just to give you some idea of the depth of the effort and what to expect.
I made similar notes for Royal Banquet too, but only posted those on my blog, if I recall right. I'll share these here now too, so you won't have to jump between websites.
If you want to discover the changes on your own without any spoilers, then feel free to stop reading here! Thanks and see you again next month!
I'll make another post once the book is officially available.
Then. These are notes which make George Lucas's work on the special editions of Star Wars look like a reverent surface polish. But I don't think anyone's that fanatical about my work that they wouldn't suffer to see it altered in any way. I believe the changes are all for the better, and the original web novel isn't going anywhere either.
Rather than a "one or the other" type of deal, I'd like to think the print edition supplements the web novel and makes the experience deeper.
But that's all for you, the reader, to judge.
Paradise After 1.0. Change notes:
- Changed title.
For reasons previously discussed.
- Fully revised manuscript.
Various grammar and spelling errors were fixed and lines improved, redundancies trimmed, passive language adjusted, etc.
- Word count increased.
97,000 → 106,000
- Rearranged chapter division.
The number of chapters changed: 10 → 24. Excluding prologue and epilogue.
- Modified narrative style.
I originally pictured each story as being recounted by our house bard at a campfire gathering, or something. But Mr Bard was not very experienced five years back and often lapses into heavy-handed exposition in this part that would put the audience to sleep.
Jokes aside, I was paranoid readers wouldn’t be able to understand the characters’ behavior at times and went to great lengths to explain and rationalize their thought processes. Nowadays, I absolutely loathe this kind of writing. I’ve learned some readers are going to contest explanations no matter what (or just skip them), while others can follow the events just fine without such spoonfeeding. So rather than wasting time and pages talking about how the characters feel, I cut most of that out, and focused on what they’re doing, what's now happening, which I believe makes for far more interesting storytelling. Subtlety is a virtue.
- The original prelude about Aiwesh and her circumstances was cut. It doesn’t say anything important that wouldn’t be established more effectively elsewhere and is also misleading in many ways.
- Added a new White Room scene: [The Meaning of Paradise].
- The meandering early chapters of the journey were trimmed and rearranged into a more dynamic form.
- The roadside magic lesson was simplified. When I first wrote the scene, I didn’t have a very clear idea of how magic works in the setting yet, but the system was later fleshed out and I was able to explain it better now. It doesn't contradict Carmelia's lectures in Old Empire so much anymore.
- Riswelze’s telling of the fall of Amarno was shortened and adjusted to make it seem less like a superfluous lore dump and more faithful to the character’s personality.
- Riswelze’s initial motivation for wanting to go to Felorn is made clearer.
- Company composition: in the web novel, it's said 30 of the 100 imperials were archers and the rest trained for close combat. But this makes little sense. You'd expect all members of the elite force to be proficient with all weapon types. And only 30 archers wouldn't be enough to corner a daemon anyway. Well, now they all can equip bows! Upgrades!
- The scene where Izumi and Yuliana bicker over the death of the unicorn, and Sir Leterrié lectures them on the Divine tradition in Tratovia was cut. The relevant details are already expressed elsewhere.
- A lot of Yuliana’s nagging in general was cut.
Working on the original version, I felt I had to put some breaks on the main characters’ relationship development, as it seemed things were getting too bubbly too fast, which clashed with the dire air of the plot. The result was a lot of awkward friction between Izumi and the Princess, and also a very feeble attempt at a love rectangle, which ended up driving many readers against her highness. But since we’ve now established Yuliana isn’t endgame, there’s no more meaning in sabotaging her dynamic with Izumi at this stage. Let’s focus on the main business instead!
- Also, many of Izumi's lines were rewritten.
To be a bit more, eh, insightful? She was rather uncaring and ditzy in the original, which disconnects her from the flow of events. Even some readers commented that the protagonist seemed passive in this episode.
Realistically, Izumi's 38, a grown adult, she has been thinking about stuff even long before being summoned and has firm opinions on a lot of things. I wanted to bring that out better and make her a more active participant in some scenes.
- Name changes: dryads → treants.
I deliberated on this already during the planning stages of the web novel, actually. By my cursory research, treants are a modern invention and appear mostly in video games and fantasy literature, and I wanted to limit the story to using only ancient mythological entities.
However, thinking it over, I feel dryads are way too important a class of monsters to be delegated as mindless cannon fodder. Everyone now knows dryads are those foxy, wood-themed monster ladies, so if I ever need such a character in my future works, I want to save the name for that occasion. Yes, really.
- Consistency fixes: Riswelze doesn’t use Cloak of Shadows during the race to the spring. The scene takes place in the morning and it was established in the previous book that the spell doesn’t work well in daylight. It'd be way too broken for a low-level criminal to turn fully invisible!
- The author did some background research this time and now we have a more scientifically accurate explanation for what the cithardia sap does and how it affects Izumi. I also played up the benefits of the tree juice a bit, since it previously seemed there were only downsides! It was too depressing.
- Alternative ending: Misinterpreted clues.
Several web novel readers guessed the whodunnit already before the end, but both their and Izumi’s reasoning was frankly pretty shaky. The alternative take on the finale showcases the holes in the logic.
- And lots more.
EDIT: I messed up the chapter count. There are actually 24, not 23.
That's it folks!
Next time, hopefully something completely different!
Stay safe and see you soon!
