Chaosverser
patreon
Tower of Hell: Caged and Confused, Book 1, Chapter 119
🕑 Added 2022-11-01 01:44:47 +0000 UTCThere was a prolonged silence as Jonas stared at Pride. Physical and sexual assault? Jonas knew that he had suffered at the hands of his abusive foster parents, but never in his life did he remember being touched or molested by one of them.
"What do you mean, sexual assault? Who the fuck did that?" Jonas crossed his arms, and his voice had unintentionally raised in tone—it sounded stressed.
"There are blanks in your memories, correct? Mostly during your time staying at the various foster homes?"
"Yeah, but I was a kid," Jonas didn't think Pride would lie to him about things, but he was feeling defensive and unbelieving of the conversation. "I'm not going to remember every time they hit me."
"Childhood trauma, Jonas. Sometimes the other kids would hurt you—Drake took care of them. However, there were times when your brother was too young to protect you from the adults. Are you prepared to accept the memories that I've been holding back?"
"I don't want to relive them," Jonas bit his lip. "There's no point."
"Jonas, don't be a coward. You need to accept the part of you that you've rejected. It's the only way for us to be whole again. It will hurt and make you wish you hadn't seen the darkness that the Man of Light put you through, but you need to face this final hurdle. If you can't stomach your memories, you won't be able to battle the Maldread, let alone the monsters of Hell. Be brave, Jonas. I know you can accept these broken pieces of yourself."
"Goddammit," Jonas' heart was racing, his anxiety was like a stampede of wild horses, and every single cell of his body told him to stay away from those memories. "Fuck!"
"Will you accept me or not?" Pride stuck out his hand. "I owe my existence to the traumas that you went through: I am but a shattered piece of you that came to life through the power of Sin. Now, I want you to see how I came to be. Will you accept?"
"I fucking accept," Jonas took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes. "Show me," Pride reached over and gently touched Jonas' sweaty forehead.
"Let me show you the evil of humanity. Let me show you why I have no face, why I'm nothing but a dark shadow and let me show you why this room is full of blood."
First, Jonas felt his brain grow numb and swollen like Pride had filled it to the brim with some cold liquid. When the Sin Shadow removed his hand, Jonas felt a pounding migraine, deep anxiety, and a nauseous feeling in his stomach. He bent over and began dry heaving and felt like he was going to throw up.
"You're about to experience intense pain, Jonas. The fragmented memories are on their way. Don't fight it. You have to embrace the pain! It's just like your training."
"Embrace the pain," Jonas thought of his good friend, Simon. It gave him the strength to fight back the urge to vomit. "Let's do this."
Colors changed, shapes morphed, and Jonas lost sight of where he was. Time seemed to lose all meaning as his vision faded and ears rang with noise. It was like his existence had been snuffed out and replaced with a pair of eyeballs above the flickering scenes. It made him feel like a child playing in a dollhouse, and the actors of the memories were action figures and playthings to tell a story.
He and Drake lived at St. Michael's orphanage for quite a while, long enough that they had grown numb to the bitter cold and the sounds of children crying. Jonas saw his younger self beaten by the older children. He saw his blood spill across the floor and watched them kick and punch—all because he had received double treats for good behavior. The orphanage liked good boys, but the loveless children did not. Drake came and saved him; it was the last time those children hurt Jonas. However, what would Drake do about the adults?
The nuns forced the children to pray multiple times per day, and they whipped them for not remembering bible verses, and sometimes the head nun would lock them in God's Room of Penance, which was a small, dark room filled with Christian Imagery, crucifixes, and old bibles. It was a terrifying room that felt more like Hell and had nothing to do with God.
The nuns smacked and screamed at Jonas for misbehaving like the other children, and every time they threw him into God's Room of Penance, his heart grew cold, and he began wishing ill upon those around him.
He suffered for misbehaving and for being good; it seemed an impossible task to live a peaceful life. When Jonas was alone with his brother, he would cry his little heart out.
"Drakey, will mom come for us?" Jonas sniffled, and Drake looked confused as he shook his head.
"Mom is waiting for us back at home," Drake didn't understand what he was saying, but he knew it in his heart to be true.
"Where is she?" Jonas shivered in the cold, dark room where they slept. Drake put his arm around him, and his body grew hot, much warmer than a regular person could be.
"Somewhere better than here, she's waiting for the two of us. Do you feel better now?" Drake continued to grow warmer, and Jonas nodded.
"How are you so warm?" Jonas looked confused.
"A secret that you must not tell anyone. I can keep us both warm. I promise."
"Okay, Drakey," Jonas yawned and put his head on his brother's shoulder. "I don't like it here; they always pick on me 'cause I'm small."
"Be good," Drake whispered in his ear. "Be a good boy, and they'll leave you alone. If they don't, I'll take care of them. Don't worry. You be good for both of us, and I'll protect us."
"I'll be good for the both of us," Jonas closed his eyes and fell asleep in his brother's safe and warm embrace.
The memories of the orphanage continued, and the mistreatment and abuse got a bit better, but it was probably because his brother was so warm and kind. The present-day Jonas had felt every beating, cried every tear, and experienced every dark emotion his younger self felt during his time there. Even though the abuse had stopped, the sinful scars left by those who had mistreated him would forever be in his heart.
The scene changed, and their stay at St. Michael's Orphanage ended because the two brothers were to be adopted, and Jonas prayed to God that he and Drake would stay together. The Father answered his prayers, and the two went to live with the Goldstein family. It was much nicer there than anything they had experienced in the past. They ate warm food three times a day; Drake and Jonas each had a bedroom, and Mr. and Mrs. Goldstein met all their emotional and physical needs.
They had a new life full of love and kindness. Mrs. Goldstein would give them hugs and kisses and tell them how much she cared for them. She would cut the crust off Jonas' sandwiches, let him sleep with a night light, and give him presents. She bought Drake his first football and even promised to enroll him in boxing if he wanted.
"Mrs. Goldstein, does God love me?" Jonas asked one night as she was tucking him in for bed.
"The Father loves us all, but especially children. He adores their innocence. Now goodnight, my dear Jonas. I'll see you in the morning."
It wasn't often that Jonas slept so soundly, but that night he did.
Mr. Goldstein was a kind-hearted man and also gave Jonas hugs and kisses. However, it wasn't long before he gave more than hugs. Young Jonas would naively sit on his lap, and unspeakable things would happen in Mr. Goldstein's office room.
"You mustn't tell anyone about our special time," Jonas listened because he was a good boy. He must be a good boy.
Months passed; the seasons changed, and one day Drake stumbled into Mr. Goldstein's office during his and Jonas' bonding time.
There was screaming, there was blood, and a dragon had awoken. Drake was furious; he grabbed a pen and stabbed it into Mr. Goldstein's eye, and Mrs. Goldstein heard the commotion. She came running and saw the carnage, Jonas' clothes on the floor, and Drake holding a bloodied weapon. It was an unbelievable nightmare.
The police came and brought the two brothers back to the orphanage. However, Drake kept a much closer eye on his little brother. There was a coldness in his expression when he looked at anyone that wasn't Jonas.
Nobody knew what happened at the Goldstein house except for Drake and the state: Jonas didn't understand or remember, and Drake thought it was better that way.
The nuns whispered that Drake had tried to kill their foster parents, and that's why the police had returned them. The other children fed off the rumors and stayed away from both brothers.
Almost a year passed before they were adopted again, this time by a welfare-abusing creep named Sally, who also bred backroom dogs. Their new foster mother forced the children to work for their meals by doing whatever chores she made up for them. Many jobs were unsafe, and the children were often scarred and bruised.
The dogs would bark and nip at their heels if they got too close, but they never seemed to bother Drake: the mutts seemed scared of him and would avert his gaze. Sally kept all the children under intense supervision and locked them away in a small bedroom with bunk beds. They didn't speak to one another or make friends because if Sally heard them talking, she would use the dogs to threaten them. After the threat of being torn apart by dogs, Sally would starve them or beat them with a black leather belt. However, she always treated one child very kindly: her special helper. She would reward this child with treats and easier labor for reporting on the others. Jonas and Drake made sure to mind their business, do their chores, and keep on Sally's good side.
Time passed. Drake had grown more intelligent. Eventually, he stole Sally's cell phone and called social services, and the police freed the children from their servitude. She went to prison, and the state sent the two brothers back to the orphanage. The story barely made local news, let alone state. No one cared about half a dozen orphans that were predominantly black. Jonas barely remembered his time at Sally's house, and Drake thought it was for the better.
Then there was Frank Huff: their third foster home. He also used orphan children for welfare checks but wasn't smart enough to have them work and do chores. He didn't care what they did until he was drunk enough to get mad about it. Furthermore, he beat the kids senselessly, and the older Jonas watched as his younger self tried to grab a beer from the fridge but got caught by Frank, who gave him the beating of a lifetime.
Frank was not large by adult male standards, but he was still big enough to bully the children. Drake caught his foster father hitting his younger brother and put an end to the abuse. He beat Frank into a pulp, and there was so much commotion that the neighbors called the police. The state took the children from Frank, while Drake vowed to get out of the system. He was tired of seeing adults abuse his younger brother.
Jonas watched his childhood play out, and there were so many things that he remembered, but there were also so many things he hadn't realized had happened. There were beatings he didn't remember, and there was abuse from other kids he had blocked out—like the time in his new school when a bunch of boys jumped him for turning down a certain girl. There was also the time that Sally starved Jonas for a week for accidentally putting a hole in the drywall.
So many abusive memories flooded Jonas that it became overwhelming, and Jonas felt his heart plagued with sadness and anger.
"Don't you see, Jonas? Look what the Man of Light put you through," Pride's voice came from behind the memories.
"Why?" Jonas replied. "Why would anyone do this to a kid?"
"To make them strong. To make them know the suffering of life, and most importantly: to turn them into a Sinner. What a beautiful story: a Hellite raised among humans, abused and tormented, only to be sent back to Hell. I find it so poetic and mysterious. This Man of Light has something in store for you, Jonas."
"Fuck him!" Jonas spoke without knowing where he was because he was still stuck in his memories: forced to relive every evil thing that happened to him. "He won't control me, and he won't fuck with me anymore!"
"Oh, Jonas. You can say that all you want, but he will. He is our overlord; he watches over us and decides our fate."
"Then I'll—"
"Kill yourself? Don't be stupid. The Man of Light can control us in our next life. We're screwed, Jonas. You don't need to be so angsty and depressed about it because I think he will come in handy. Become powerful: as powerful as you can be. Take every advantage of the talent he gave you, and you'll find new answers and live a glorious eternity in Hell."
"Then I'll have to try and not let it bother me," Jonas watched his thirteen-year-old self molested by an older girl at a party—he thought it was normal. "I don't remember her."
"You were drinking," Pride's voice was delicate. "That was a party for older teens."
It wasn't the first time an older girl had taken advantage of him: one forgotten memory played, and Jonas saw his fifteen-year-old self passed out on his bed: drunk as hell, and he hadn't consented to the things an older girl was doing to him.
In the past, Jonas had too many gaps in his memories and wished he understood why they were missing. Now he felt bittersweet about the entire situation because Pandora's box had shown him the truth but also made him realize how fucked up his life was.
Not one memory held any significance in the context of Jonas' mysterious origin or what part of Hell he was born in—he hadn't expected this. Jonas should have known the Man of Light wouldn't leave any spoilers because he didn't want his little pawn to get sidetracked. Maybe there were clues or hidden information in the memories, but Jonas wasn't in the mental state to recognize them.
As Pride revealed each memory, Jonas realized his mistaken notion of what those memories would contain, and it made him feel stupid for believing he would get answers.
The memories continued to flicker until they stopped, and Jonas was pulled back into the room of Shadow and Blood. However, the storm was so strong that it was destroying the very fabric of reality, and Jonas could see cracks in the sky.
"This room will be gone after today because it has served its purpose. It was a way of representing me: the shadow, and your powers as a Sinner: the blood. I don't particularly want to go, but I have no choice. It was never my fate to follow you on your journey. I had a choice: try to take over our shared psyche like some aggressive parasite or share your missing memories and disappear. It's obvious what choice I made," Pride's shoulders were firm, and he held his chin high.
"Why did you make that choice? It couldn't be easy knowing that you'll disappear if you gave me my memories, right?"
"Easy?" Pride clicked his tongue. "Not easy at all. There were moments I wanted to claim your body and make you disappear: the times when you were unconscious and unsuspecting were the most tempting. I would grow frustrated at your idiocy and your inability to stop getting yourself into trouble. It was those moments when I most wanted to take you over."
"What stopped you?"
"In the end, I'm a shadow of you. It's hard for me to do something against your inner nature—our nature. It's not your style: as you would say it."
"Pride," Jonas was at a loss for words, partly because his stomach and brain hurt but also hadn't expected the shadow to be so sentimental in his final minutes. "What am I supposed to do now? If it meant keeping you around, I wouldn't have wanted these memories back—I didn't need to see that shit with Goldstein, and I didn't need to relive every ass-kicking I ever got for me to know that the Man of Light has screwed me over my whole life."
"You beat the Maldread, escape this place, and take the Sin Assessment. Finding Drake is still the mission, and becoming a strong Sinner is still the way to do it. It might not seem like it, but those memories will help you grow, and the two of us becoming whole will be a boon for you. You don't need me anymore because you understand your Original Sin and know how to become stronger without me. It's time for me to go and for you to step up as your own man. You won't have me giving you advice or saving your ass anymore, and you'll need to rely on your talent if you want to survive the Overworld."
Jonas stared at his alter-ego. The entire situation was still surreal and unbelievable. The room of shadow and blood was slowly cannibalizing itself, while Pride was about to disappear forever. Jonas had gotten his memories back, but the cost was more than he could afford. Jonas relied on Pride and the room of shadow and blood for over two years, but he was about to lose that part of himself forever. They were pieces of his life that had been there for all his worst moments in Hell, and it was hard to remember what life was like without them.
"If there was anything in those memories worth knowing, I missed what it was," Jonas was stalling for time.
"Drake said your mother was waiting for you somewhere better. Perhaps he retained some memories or feelings from his time in Hell: he was older than you when you were both sent to the orphanage. There was also the way he warmed you both using his body heat. I suspect he was using Sin Sorcery: a tremendous feat for anyone in Hell, let alone a little boy."
"Do you think Drake was hiding things from me? Do you think he knew about Hell or our past?" Jonas was starting to believe that his big brother was much more in the know than he had previously shown.
"When you two died, Drake was the first to guess you guys were in Hell. He didn't seem very nervous or scared, and I noticed a lingering aura of Sin around him. If it took you over a year to learn Original Sin, I wouldn't be surprised if Drake surpassed you in a few months and already took the Sin Assessment. Of course, this is just speculation. He could be rotting in some cage for all I know."
"Not Drake. I bet he's discovered Sin and maybe even uncovered some hints about our past. I need to find him and ask if he remembers our origin."
"Unfortunately, it will be without me," Pride smiled. "This room won't hold on anymore. It's time for us to part."
"Will you truly be gone?" Jonas felt his eyes begin to water. "I'll do anything if it means you can stay alive."
"I'll always be part of you. I'm your Sin Shadow, so as long as you're a Sinner, I'll be there in the darkest part of your heart. I'm your Pride, and when I'm gone, I expect you to stand tall against the odds, not back down against the bullies, and to be the cocky, talented youth that I've trained you to be. I might give you a hard time for being reckless, but that's who you are deep in your heart. You are Jonas Ariel, and you will stand the test of time. Find your brother, and discover the truth of who we are. One day, Jonas, I hope you meet the Man of Light and punch him in his smug face. Don't let the bullshit he put you through make you lose yourself. Oh, and use your heart if you want to kill that Maldread. Using your heart is always the right way to go," Jonas went quiet as the room of Shadow and Blood began to fade away. "Goodbye, Jonas."
"Bye-bye, Frydee," Jonas fell unconscious and disappeared from the room. Pride looked into the eye of the storm and sighed loudly.
"I'm sorry, Jonas," Pride finally let go of his burden, and he and the room disappeared forever.
Yuki was limping because the Maldread had mangled one of her legs during a mistimed dodge. Only a few seconds had passed from the moment she had left Jonas’ side, and during those long seconds, she could only pray that the creature didn’t turn his attention to her unconscious lover.
She had so many regrets as the monster approached, and she wondered if everything she did was for naught. If the Maldread killed Jonas, would her struggle have been fruitless? She had one last plan to save him, and the plan would cost her life.
“Take Jonas and run!” She screamed to those who were still alive and conscious. "You know the password, so leave through the door and get the fuck out. I'll hold it off. Go!"
She didn’t care about their opinion because she was a Hunter, and this last dance with the devil was her final hunt. Her Sin Scars began to glow as she dodged each attack from her prey, and she felt more power course through her body than she had ever felt before.
When was the last time she truly felt happiness? She thought back to her childhood in Japan. Before her marriage to her husband, she had been the child her father doted on the most. No, that wasn’t happiness: it was living in the shadow of a warlord. Then there was her very short-lived marriage, which was not a memory she could say was happy. A memory revealed itself, and she recalled the time that Jonas had asked about her dream and told her the idea of a home for girls was a good idea.
Her thoughts broke as a massive fist struck her across the chest and sent her crashing against the wall. She slowly raised her head and watched as the Maldread approached her, and that slit between its legs opened, and its long slimy cock slithered out. The Maldread crouched in front of her while sniffing curiously.
Its long barbed tongue fell out of its mouth and slowly slithered towards Yuki’s face, but before the Maldread could have a taste, it turned its head on the spot because something caught its attention. Someone flung a stone across the room and hit the beast across the face. Although it wasn't enough to hurt the Maldread, it did piss it off.
"Get the fuck away from her," Jonas was conscious and was marching across the room toward the Maldread. The previous fight had turned his clothing into scraps, and dried blood covered his body, but it looked like his injuries had been repaired. His eyes were cold, his expression was like stone, and he seemed to be an entirely different person. He threw another rock and hit the Maldread in the dick. It shrieked in pain, ignored Yuki, and charged toward its most hated enemy.
Thank you to my Gold Patron, PandaLady12
![[_] from fanbox](https://leakoo.com/kistorage/83660.jpg)
