Leakoo
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76.

🕑 Added 2021-12-13 01:49:45 +0000 UTC

Comments

jordan

Alternatively, you could fix it by having Dom fighting to stay conscious and succeeding. The whole pass out and not die thing is really tropey and overused.

Red Bombadil

Thanks so much for bringing these up! Proofreading is still my biggest hurdle in this whole process. :P

Red Bombadil

All true! I’m going to cry “author shenanigans” on this one.

Framing Device

Typos: We had dropped off team of 10 orcs on the hull of the escort a team and what had drown back was matted. grown I’d just saved by Hali and my old tutor. my Hali(?) Then Drese stepped it. stepped it up. I lashed onto the crow’s nest and changed my upward momentum into a parabolic arc latched onto (unsure)

Deinos

Yeah but you ended it with him barely aware of anything but the thing that's killing him atm before he goes unconscious, with the last thought being the pain of fire and intent to submerge. So far it was described as a conscious effort apart from it not sounding as the easiest of efforts when described to provide a suitable spacr without water + circulation. It was nicrly described but I don’t see him having the awareness to do anything atm.

Red Bombadil

I don’t think it’s too spoiler-y to say people don’t drown from Dom submerging. Dom can leave “open air” in his ship when he submerges - it’s how he’s avoided killing Drese already. Accidentally killing a ship full of people is the kind of tone shift I’m trying to get away from at this part of the story…

Deinos

Oh well Drese can't breath water so hr kind of fucked them by submerging.

Deepak Kamlesh

Wow, great chapter!

Kelsey

Marcus?! That was an excellent surprise! Thanks for the chapter!


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