ozzy3d
fanbox
Good riddance (really long story)
🕑 Added 2021-10-10 07:00:00 +0000 UTC A couple of bits of news arrived today. One is something I can't reveal yet, and the other is the message you see above. Earlier this month I requested this deletion and today it was confirmed. I wish I did it years ago. When I started doing 3D actively back in 2014, I was just a guy heading into my final quarter of university. I already had an outlook in life that didn't involve sitting at home doing this. Now almost a decade later, it turns out that the biggest satisfaction in my life is doing just that. Yes, I'm that simple. Patreon was supposed to be a way for me to be rewarded for my efforts beyond the views. It allowed people that were specifically interested in what I did to support me. It fostered a place to show what I liked to do, regardless of its quality (and trust me, a lot of my early work sucks). Tumblr was for the audience, Patreon was for the like-minded fans. I remember living in Korea as an English teacher while making animations / pics and Patreon was that boost that allowed me to live far beyond what someone in my position was making. That extra money helped soften the blow when going on dates or doing dirty shit with sex workers :p It was definitely the best part of my life thus far after university. But it soon unraveled when I came back to the States. Full-time employment at an insurance company decimated my motivation. Tumblr made the move of abandoning adult content creators and the legions of fans who made a big part of the site's appeal. I appeared in an article where a woman campaigned against 3D artists making adult (specifically taboo) content despite there being laws in place, as tenuous and vague as they are, that protected us. As a result, Patreon suspended me, reported me, requested I do everything to gut my online content, and forced me into a position where I had to quit my job to focus on my own health. They were savage about it and in order to save my presence I had to accommodate. The paranoia I had to deal with during that period was not something I'd want other artists to ever experience. Turns out my compliance was for nothing. By adhering to Patreon's rules, I had lost whatever drive to create content like I used to. My ability to make animations waned, my annoyance with SFM grew into outright dislike, my unemployment would drag on for years, I had to move back in with my parents, and whatever sliver of content I was making was this strange blend of not-taboo but also not-totally vanilla. By trying to adhere to Patreon's rules and fans, I wasn't pleasing anyone fully in either direction. Not making shota, loli, or beast content meant doing this was a waste of my time. I was in this limbo for way too long. I expected that the pieces of 3D I trickled out were enough to salvage a life going nowhere and keep me from going back to the daily grind. But I was already deep in it and making the wrong moves to escape. Before I knew it, I was already 30 and a complete fuck-up with no real income or prospects. I was completely unresponsive to my closest friends in life, and the few supporters that were left on Patreon would get no communication for months (which turned into years). I failed them all, resorting to creating pics here and there elsewhere in places where people could catch a glimpse of what I really wanted to do. But there was no game plan. I was a total shadow of what I once was. It took the advice and push from another artist with whom I've had a friendship and trust for several years to see where I was and how to start clawing my way out of it. He never gave up on me despite me being in a place where I could offer him nothing. Ditching Patreon was the first step. Realizing how pointless it was to follow them was eye-opening. Moving to Pixiv and re-defining my 3D hobby was critical. I didn't want a mass-appeal audience anymore because that wasn't me. I wanted the real ones - the people who wanted exactly what I'm doing right now. And I didn't want to be that guy who didn't communicate for months or years anymore. I made a commitment to actually be on here and make it my new home. The next step was getting a real job. I had one when I started this year but it was not a real career. No benefits, nearly minimum wage, unofficial school work, dealing with parents. The only perk was that it was walking distance from my house and that all my coworkers were gamer girls that I wanted to bang. Then the opportunity I needed since I graduated fell on my lap and I took it. Now I'm making more money than I know what to do with and enough benefits to ensure I can actually make advancements in life again. A few months later and I'm now in a much, much more content place. I'm not faced with this feeling like I wasted my life. I can only blame myself for not making the right moves earlier. I'm on the other side of 30 and I'm trying to catch up on my real life before making significant progress in 3D. If there's a next step to take, it's losing weight. I gained far too much weight since leaving the military. COVID in the states certainly didn't help me get out much, especially living with at-risk parents. Being introverted did make coping with it a hell of a lot easier, though. To anyone who made it to the end, props for reading all of this. I wanted to lay out a general "what happened?" and how Patreon was a factor in that. These are all 1st world problems at the end of the day and there are artists doing what they do right now who are far worse off than what I went through. You can already tell why I have issues with 3D as it is. Willpower, motivation, health, and creativity have to all be working at the same time in order to be effective. All of the above just to make some art with poon. tl;dr Pixiv is great (despite some upfront censorship) Patreon can get fucked
Comments
preach, yeah fuck patereon
