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Superior Ghost Rider. Chapter 24. I'm hate superheroes
🕑 Added 2025-04-04 17:25:07 +0000 UTCThe minivan, leaving a blazing trail behind, sped through the city streets like a rocket.
“Whoa, ease up, Schumacher!” Cain held onto his felt hat. “Don’t crash this thing!”
“I’ve got it under control. Zarathos is guiding me,” John said, eyes unblinking as he weaved perfectly between pedestrians and traffic. “We both agree the dumb bird needs to be punished.”
Ahead, the majestic Empire State Building rose into view.
The minivan hit the curb, bounced, and then—like it had broken free from a leash—launched upward. Its wheels stuck to the glass as the vehicle began driving vertically up the side of the building.
“You gotta be kidding me?!” Cain stared out the window as the ground rapidly dropped away. “Since when can you do this?!”
“Jump on my command,” Ghost Rider said calmly. “Get ready.”
“The fuck?!”
The vehicle lost traction and went into free fall.
“Jump!”
John leapt out, holding both ends of a long chain. One side he hurled, embedding it in the building. The other he tossed to Juggernaut.
Tension.
If John were a regular man, he’d have been torn in two. As it was, pain shot through him—but he was too focused to care. He looked up.
The minivan, supercharged with Zarathos’s flame, flew in a perfect arc toward Phoenix like it was riding invisible threads.
Panicked, the dumb bird spat out her fire bomb in retaliation. A brilliant orange flash lit the entire city, like a second sun.
Meanwhile, Jane swooped in and lifted her teammates onto the rooftop.
Phoenix hovered in the air, about three hundred yards from the Empire State Building. The bird looked around, disoriented.
“What now?” Cain stared at their foe. Fiery wings shimmered in the reflection of his helmet. “We all hit her together?”
John raised a hand to shush him.
[Come on… you stupid fragment of infinite hunger. Don’t let me down.]
Phoenix stopped looking at John and began charging another fireball in her beak.
“Knew it,” John smirked. “Bird’s too dumb to recognize a real threat. But that trick won’t work twice. Even an ant with a peanut-sized brain figures out it needs to leave if you keep zapping it.
We need to take her out in one strike.”
Jane and Cain nodded without interrupting.
“She’s charging a bomb, and she’ll use it the second she senses danger,” Ghost Rider pointed at the fireball, already the size of an egg. “I’ll neutralize it with my flame. Right after, we hit the Phoenix with everything we’ve got.”
He turned to Jane.
“You need to summon the white lightning again—like in Peru. But it has to be ten times stronger this time.”
“I haven’t practiced since then,” she admitted, looking at Phoenix poised to wipe out New York. Determination flickered in her eyes. “But I’ll do it.”
Thunderheart stepped to the center of the rooftop. Fixing her gaze on the enemy, she began spinning her hammer, pulling in energy. Thunder cracked across the sky as storm clouds gathered overhead.
[I always knew I could count on you.]
“What about me?” Juggernaut asked, pointing up at the Phoenix. “I don’t got any long-range attacks.”
[Tch. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve cheaped out on tech. If Cain could tap into the core of Cyttorak like I can, we’d have an edge right now.]
“Watch our backs. No one interrupts us,” John ordered, stepping up beside Jane. “I’ll build up power too—just in case the bomb gets too big.”
Ghost Rider gripped the Cross of Zarathos in his hand. Lava churned in his lungs, ready to incinerate matter itself.
“What’s the action up here?” Spider-Man landed on the rooftop with a flip, releasing his web. “Got room for a fourth?”
[Goddammit, clown, your timing couldn’t be worse! I’ve got lava in my lungs, can’t even answer you.]
“Down, you chicken-brained idiot!” Cain’s massive hand flashed past, shielding Spider-Man from a stray lightning bolt shot off Mjolnir.
“Well damn,” Spidey jumped back a few yards. “Juggernaut just saved me! The supervillain’s broken! Somebody call for a replacement!”
[Holy shit. The last thing I need is a battle of good vs. evil right now.]
“I’m not Juggernaut,” Juggernaut deadpanned. “I’m his twin brother.”
Did not see that coming. Even Spider-Man shut up—for a moment.
“What a charming little gathering we’ve got. Juggernaut, Ghost Rider…” the superhero paused as his eyes fell on Jane. “And... Lady Thunderpants?”
“Go fuck yourself, bug-boy!” Cain clapped his hands, sending out a shockwave. “We’re saving the damn world and you’re just in the way!”
Spider-Man was blown off the roof, but clearly hadn’t gotten the memo about leaving the party.
“I’m not a bug. Spiders are arachnids,” the nerd said as he latched onto the ledge with webbing and flipped back up. “And since when do supervillains save the world?”
Cain clapped again, but this time Spider-Man stuck his feet to the roof and held firm.
“I’m not leaving until someone explains what’s going on,” the teen chattered. “What’s that bird in the sky and why is it laying an egg with its mouth? Why did Thor switch genders? Why is Ghost Rider glaring at me? Why does Juggernaut look like a mob boss?”
[God, he’s insufferable. Should I use the Penance Stare on him? No… Jane might take offense. She needs to stay focused.]
To everyone’s surprise, Cain didn’t smash the rooftop or throw a punch. He started explaining things to Spider-Man like he was mentally challenged.
Cain pointed to Phoenix.
“That big orange thing? That’s the bad girl.”
He pointed to Jane.
“That blue lightning lady? That’s the good girl.”
He pointed to John.
“That black flame dude with the chain? Support for the good girl.”
He pointed to himself.
“This super-stylish gentleman? Defense for both the good girl and the support, who are about to beat the bad girl.”
And finally, he pointed at Spider-Man.
“That annoying dipshit? Just getting in the way!”
“Hey! No need for insults!” Spider-Man leapt to a rooftop vent. “Your friendly neighborhood wall-crawler always shows up when he’s needed!”
“Whatever, stay there, you jumpy little louse,” Cain waved him off. “Watch how the pros handle business.”
The fireball at Phoenix’s beak had grown to the size of a car.
John glanced at Jane. Lightning burst wildly from Mjolnir in all directions—her control was slipping. She gave a small shake of her head—not ready yet.
[Keep building up energy.]
Suddenly the door burst open and some guy in a white bodysuit with cat ears came flying onto the roof. No idea who the hell that was.
“What’s going on here?” the newcomer started rattling off questions. “Why is there a second sun in the sky? What—”
“Aaagh!” Juggernaut roared and charged at him.
The guy in the leotard jumped right back down the stairs.
Cain slammed the door shut, broke the handle, and jammed a steel bar through it.
“There. Much better,” Cain dusted his hands off. “Last thing we need is another clown showing up.”
“You didn’t have to do White Tiger like that,” Spider-Man shook his head. “He’s a good guy.”
“Never even heard that name,” Cain scowled. “What’s his power?”
“Well… he knows karate.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.”
“Bullshit,” Cain groaned, rubbing his temples. “What the hell’s happening to the world? They’ll let any masked jackass be a superhero these days…”
Spider-Man’s reply was lost in the roar of engines. A group of people on flying scooters was approaching the rooftop. Who the hell were they supposed to be now?
[So many freaks in New York…]
“Beat it!” Juggernaut scared them off by hurling a chunk of trash. “This is a magical showdown!”
John felt like hell. His lungs were burning. His eyes were watering. He wanted to throw up.
Jane didn’t look much better—pale, bangs stuck to her forehead, eyes glassy.
She gave him a barely noticeable nod when she caught his gaze. It’s time.
John exhaled a sphere of lava. The heat was so intense, it started melting the rooftop stone.
Phoenix immediately launched her firebomb to intercept the incoming blast.
Another orange explosion—but this time the heat was so intense, it made a September night feel hotter than a June afternoon.
Phoenix didn’t bother charging another attack. It turned, ready to flee.
“Not so fast,” Jane rasped.
She raised Mjolnir and fired. The brightness and thunder outshone a hundred flashbangs.
A white bolt hit the target.
John slowly opened his eyes, hands still clamped over his ears.
They did it. The white armor cracked. A regular girl was falling from the sky.
“Mary Jane?!” Spider-Man screamed and bolted toward her.
[Can’t let him take her. He might hand her over to the Avengers or the Fantastic Four. Then we’ll have to fight more heroes all over again.]
Before Spider-Man could reach the edge of the roof, a lightning bolt struck him down. He collapsed, unconscious.
“That’s for the ‘Lady Thunderpants’ comment,” Jane rasped, gripping Mjolnir with both hands.
“I’ll catch her!” Juggernaut shouted, bracing his legs.
He launched himself a hundred yards into the air and caught Mary perfectly. They landed on the rooftop of a nearby building.
“We did it,” Jane swayed and nearly fell, but John caught her by the shoulder.
“Your arm…”
Jane’s right arm was completely blackened, like it had been stuck in a fire. It smoked, and the stench was awful.
“A small price to pay for saving the city,” she tried to shrug, but winced in pain.
“It’s not healing,” John muttered, frowning. “This looks like soul damage.”
“My spirit’s not ready for that kind of strain. I told you,” she said, yanking Mjolnir free from her petrified fingers with her other hand. “That strike just shaved another month off my life.”
John froze, eyes locked on hers.
“You knew it would happen?”
She didn’t answer.
He saw it in her eyes.
“Then why keep building energy?”
“You know why,” she gave a faint smile.
John clenched his jaw until his teeth groaned under the pressure.
[Oh, I know. Of course I know. Jane’s willing to give her life for idiots who don’t even know she exists. And the ones who do think she’s a thief.]
He walked to the edge of the roof and tossed one end of his chain down to Juggernaut, who was holding the unconscious Mary.
“You’ve got four months left,” John said as he hoisted Jane for transport. “I swear, I’ll find a cure by then.”
[Or I’ll burn this unjust world to the ground—the one where kind, brilliant girls like her are doomed to die young.]
/////
Author’s Note:
You might’ve felt like I, the author, hate Spider-Man. That’s not true. I like the character a lot, and I actually plan to write a separate story about him in the future.
So why is he so annoying in this chapter? Understand that the story is told from John’s point of view. And he’s a cynical bastard who can’t stand eternally youthful, cheerful jokers.
I tried to reflect how John sees this beloved superhero through the writing.
Thanks for reading.
