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If you’re advising all survivors to prosecute, it’s a sure sign that you have no idea what you’re talking about.
🕑 Added 2024-04-12 10:59:55 +0000 UTCNot so long ago, my neighbour discovered a leopard toad living in her drain. She was a compassionate animal lover, so she gathered up the toad and took him to Toad Land: the wetlands down the road. Speaking to a friend later that day, she learned that leopard toads only congregate around water during breeding time. Then they move onto dry land. All she’d done by “rescuing” the toad was disorient him and double the length of his journey.
The same principle applies to advising rape survivors to report their assaults. If you’re not a well-studied professional, you’re almost certainly going to move someone into the wrong habitat and double the length of their journey.
You’re not a forensic psychiatrist, so you can’t assess whether a survivor’s case is prosecutable.
You’re not a therapist, so you can’t assess whether they’ll survive the secondary trauma involved in a court case.
You’re not a lawyer, so you have no idea if the evidence is sufficient to build a prosecutable case.
You’re not a social worker, so you don’t know if the survivor has the support structure or finances required of women who seek justice. You don’t know how many rape kits languish in police stations unprocessed or how many policemen slut-shame victims.
You don’t know if their job is secure enough to survive prosecution.
You don’t know if they have the funds to cover the therapy they will most definitely need when the courts blame them.
You don’t know a thing. If you’re not a professional in the field, you’re bungling.
In 99.999% of cases, the rape survivor you’re lecturing knows more about rape kits and prosecutions than you do. They were raped, not rendered stupid. That advice you keep spouting is commonly known as mansplaining. It’s condescending, infantalising, and potentially harmful.
Rape survivors’ suicide rates are 10 times higher than those of unexposed people. It takes a great deal of care and thought to get past this kind of trauma, so your internet advice is well-nigh pointless.
I know you’re only pushing for prosecution because you “care about women” but if you’ve never taken the time to find out what rape survivors actually need, you’re a slacktivist, not a supporter.
And if you’re advising all survivors to prosecute, it’s a sure sign that you have no idea what you’re talking about.
