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Things I’m Not Allowed to Do at Play Parties
🕑 Added 2024-03-31 08:30:19 +0000 UTCI’m not allowed to wear master’s whip as a tail and hop everywhere like a kangaroo.
I’m not allowed to arrange an interpretive dance team to act out Bohemian Rhapsody in the play area.
Wrapping the host’s office equipment in tinfoil is forbidden.
I’m not allowed to attach teeny SpanishRed nametags to everyone else’s toys.
I may not add nametags to the items on the snack table either.
Or any guy I think is sexy.
Master’s flogger is not for practising my knots.
We do not use gymnast scorecards to rate the scenes out of 10 for some reason.
It’s socially unacceptable to shoo everyone out of the kitchen and enact an evening of Hell’s Kitchen with my friends.
It’s also unacceptable to insist I get to play Gordon Ramsey the whole time as lots of people want that role.
I’m not allowed to wrap tinsel around my leash and wear a Christmas angel as a hat.
I may not put red food dye in the swimming pool and tell everyone I’m Moses.
It isn't funny to paint “This is Banksy’s, not yours” on the St Andrews Cross.
I'm not allowed to stick googly eyes on everyone's dildos or use their magic wands as microphones during mock news interviews.
Jessica’s violet wand is a toy, not a science experiment for testing the house’s electrical outlets.
