alloraleewrites
patreon
CH 50 - The Goodbye of Children
🕑 Added 2023-11-14 19:18:17 +0000 UTCChapter Fifty
The Goodbye of Children
Break of Autumn, Week 2, Day 7
I once said goodbyes are for loved ones. And though I’d only known these children briefly, they gave me a nicer goodbye than when I left Eunora’s home. Now, I had three children wishing me well. Telling me they would write –that they wouldn’t forgive me if I forgot about them. That, one day, they would visit me in Fellan. And, one day, I promised I would come back.
But, soon enough, I knew they would forget about me.
So, I gave Phil and Clarence their spiders, and they laughed and said, “Matching! Thanks, Nora!”
When I gave Clara her bunny, in white and purple instead of the black of Noir, she cried.
“We match, too,” she’d sobbed and wrapped me in a hug. I hugged her back, and the two boys jumped in, crushing Clara and me together. Suddenly, we were all laughing and tumbling around.
It was a brilliant goodbye.
And, before I left, they gave me letters they’d penned the night before.
“Because we didn’t want you to be lonely on the road to the border,” they’d said, nodding very seriously.
I felt tears prick at my eyes, and I wasn’t sure if they were little Eunora’s or mine. I was still so unused to warmth in this world. But I hugged them again.
I was back to the schedule and trapped in the monotony of travel. Not to say I lost the comfort my Skills brought me, but there was a certain wonder that gets lost in a planned-out day.
I decided to save the letters for when I was truly going through an unbearable time.
The next stop was five days away. Another small town, this time by the name of Perry.
I spent most of the road jumping between books. For mana Skill practice, I spent most of the time using [Mana Manipulation] trying to get it to Level 5. But with only being able to practice for a single hour at a time, my progress had slowed. It was much like meditation, anyway. Slowly melting my mana veins to gain access to more mana and faster.
However, thanks to the book on the System, I was able to integrate some more intentional attribute training into my day. For Strength, I would wrap some [Weave of Darkness] around my hands and practice using the exact amount of strength to stretch it without ripping it. I set different tactical strengths to make it more difficult and used different-sized yarn as a challenge. That helped me have finer control over my Strength.
For Endurance, I used the stability of the carriage compartment to my advantage and would do jumping jacks until I was so exhausted my legs felt like jello. It took a while to fully exhaust myself, but it was better than sitting the whole day.
Next, I counted any [Weaving] I did as Dexterity practice. [Mana Sense] and [Mana Manipulation], as well as [Shadow Animation], were all Magic. I would stare out the window and use [Inspect] to practice Perception –stretching both the Skill and attribute to their maximum. Vitality was meditation. I practiced imagining my blood rushing through my veins, fueling my muscles with oxygen, growing more efficient.
That had actually given me a Skill.
[Congratulations! You have earned the Skill: Meditation! Meditation is now Level 1!]
Much like the two Skills from the spellbook, it seemed this Skill couldn’t be gained without intention. It hadn’t appeared until after I’d wondered if there was a Skill for it. Then, I practiced meditating several times with that thought in the back of my mind.
I found myself wondering just how many Skills were intention-based. It must be almost all of them, I decided, as I hadn’t gained many naturally over the course of the past several months. In fact, even leveling seemed intention-based. The more I focused on [Weaving] when I used it, the more the Skill gave me, and the quicker it seemed to level. Same with [Mental Fortitiude], as soon as I actively began leaning into the passive, it seemed to boost.
When I’d first arrived, the Skill had barely leveled. It wasn’t until I started trusting in it that it seemed to start doing any heavy lifting. It made me eye [Otherworldly] warily. It was an aura Skill. It brought me fateful encounters. It made me noticeable. I’d been fighting that as well.
Use your Skills. Morloch had said. All of them. Even if it’s unbearable.
To use [Otherworldly] would be antithesis to little Eunora —it would draw in the eyes of the world and alter fate even more than I already had. And I knew I wouldn’t like whatever it brought me. The stronger the Skill, the more it would provide, but the cost of those encounters was my worry.
At the end of it all, I was still too scared to use it.
We arrived at Perry just as I was turning stir-crazy. This time, it wasn’t a village head but a Baroness. And she beseeched the knights to fulfill their oath more insistently than the head in Ugar had.
It was once again a mess of blights.
“I am invoking the right of the citizens of the Duchy of Dawn. I am calling on the Oath of the Dusk.” She had said, “As a Noble of Maeve, I direct you to eradicate the blights in the surrounding forest.”
The woman had been waiting for us at the gate. She was a woman in her mid-thirties, and she radiated power. I didn’t like her. She looked at Sir Rellar with the eyes of a hawk, and she hadn’t even introduced herself. I was watching from the carriage as she commanded my– the knights.
I knew there was no emblem on my carriage, but I wondered if she would know who I was. I climbed out with Noir to see.
She simply peered down at me, her hawkish gaze watching me walk up to her.
“Can I help you?” She sneered, glancing down at Noir and then back to my face.
I swallowed. Mistakemistakemistake–
“My Lady–” Sir Rellar started, but I waved him off.
“Who are you?” I asked, forcing calm into my voice.
“I am Baroness Margery Perry.” She looked down her nose at me again, “Not that it is a matter for children.”
She’ll expect me to call her Baroness. She thinks I’m below her. She doesn’t know who I am. She’ll want me to bow. I took a breath, resolved myself, and smiled.
“Ah,” I punctuated my sentence with a small curtsy, “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Perry.”
Immediately, her aura sharpened around me.
“Excuse me?” I watched as the woman prepared herself for a fight–
“I am Eunora Dawn,” I said, keeping my eyes trained on hers.
Eugh, I’d rather never say that again, I thought to myself, distaste filling me. But this is who I need to be. The God of Nora must grow stronger before I can cast off my name entirely.
I watched the moment her face changed, and she fell into a deep curtsy –much deeper than mine.
“My Lady,” she started immediately, “I apologize.”
I felt a swirl of nervousness flow through me. What next? What am I supposed to do next? All etiquette left me, and I went for what I knew.
“Why have you called upon the Oath?” I asked, now able to look down at the Baroness rather than the other way around.
She did not rise from her curtsy for a long moment. When she did, her whole countenance had changed. No longer was she stern and cold. Now, she was almost motherly in her soft expression. Even her aura had dulled. She no longer held the power she’d thought she did –my presence had taken that away. If I wasn’t careful with that power, I worried it would make me worse off than before.
“My Lady, please, I should never have called upon the Oath so brashly. I owe the knights —and you— the right of hospitality. I will prepare the finest room in my manor for you.”
I looked to Sir Rellar, who took a moment before nodding brusquely. Now that hospitality has been offered, I had to accept.
I hate this world with all its rules. Who needs thirty different ways to say, ‘Please help me.’ I griped internally.
“Of course. Please, lead the way,” I politely responded, gesturing to the carriage behind me —the one she held up with her demands.
“Nonsense, let’s share my carriage. Your envoy can follow, and my stableman will house the horses,” she replied in turn.
This was going to be a very long day of her offering things and me being unable to refuse them —all so in the end, she could pretend none of it had to do with her requiring the Oath of the Dusk. But nonetheless, I will be unable to deny her request then, either.
The Perry Manor was two stories tall and set in the middle of a field —with houses surrounding the edge of the field in a circle and the rest of the town cascading out from there. That meant we were a veritable parade through the town as we went to its heart. My heart was constricted as we went.
Sitting with Baroness Perry was a tiring affair of her asking after the Dawns and me making up my answers on the fly while trying very hard to be both truthful and dignified. Unfortunately, I knew very little of Raphael’s status at the sword academy he studied at or how Eve was progressing in magic —other than that she seemed just fine at combat arts. It made me unsteady to be asked about the Dawns so casually. For Eunora’s family to matter in any significant way. It reminded me that this was not elsewhere, that my family was gone —another pang of hurt shot through me.
She congratulated me on my Affirmation and said her daughter had hers in the summer.
‘Oh, you’ll get to meet Jennifer. She’s quite advanced for her age. I’m sure you’ll get along swimmingly.’
I wanted to throw up. It was just so much.
I was grateful for the fresh air I found outside the manor house and also for the presence of Dame Arella and Sir Limrick —who were back by my side as soon as I exited the Baroness’ carriage. Arlen was there as well, but Klein was nowhere to be seen.
Lucky.
A majority of the knights remained outside and spread around the perimeter of the manor, but Sir Rellar and the other three followed me inside.
I wished very much to also be outside.
Dinner was a formal affair, and I had to fight off the maids that tried to bathe me —instead opting to function like a normal person and bathe myself. I left my hair wild and free to curl. Dame Arella had brought me one of the bags of clothes from the carriage—this time, a larger one with golden embroidery. Inside was a thick lavender dress with silver embroidery around the chest, hips, and hems. I also had white stockings and lavender slide-on shoes to match. I tied back a portion of my hair in a matching ribbon and called myself ready.
I debated if I should leave Noir behind but ultimately dragged him along.
Unlike at the Dawn estate, this manor was awash in color. Sure, the Dawn home was in shades of sunrise, but here, I could see greens and blues and browns. Unfortunately, the room I was stuck in was a pink and gold monstrosity.
Meeting Dame Arella outside the room, we made our way downstairs and down to the dining room. As always, she was in her purple leathers rather than the full armor of the other knights. Her hair was let down from its usual ponytail. Instead, it was partially pulled back in a loose braided crown, with the rest left to frame her face. It made her look like a warrior queen. I loved it –deciding that perhaps that would be the next hairstyle I mastered. [Weaving] had been helping me braid my hair already, so upping the anty may help in more ways than one.
Dame Arella gestured for me to pause in front of the door to the dining room –where Sir Rellar, Sir Limrick, and Arlen were waiting. I looked at her curiously –until the footman who had greeted us appeared out of nowhere with a bow and opened the door.
“May I present Lady Eunora Dawn and her knights, my Lady,” he announced to a room of two people.
It was Lady Perry and who must be her daughter, Lady Jennifer. They both were in deep red dresses –Lady Perry’s significantly nicer than when she had greeted us at the gate of the town.
Lady Perry raised her hand with a smile, “Please, come join us, Lady Eunora.”
I fought the turn of my stomach and nodded. The table was set for seven, and the two women were standing behind the two seats to the left of the head of the table. The right side was left open, but four place settings were running down the table. One set at the head. I swallowed.
I have to sit there, don’t I? I sighed. Of course, I did. I was a daughter of the Dawn. I was a higher rank than everyone in the room. There were only six tables in the Queendom that I wouldn’t sit at the head of.
“Graciously, Lady Perry,” I answered, making my way across the room, wishing very much that I had not gotten out of the carriage earlier. I walked up past the empty side of the table, and as I approached, Lady Perry was clearly waiting for me to do something.
I wracked my brain for anything that would help. An eidetic memory I did not possess. Fortunately, something popped up, and i held out my hand, palm down and loose.
Lady Perry kneeled and took my hand, “I praise the Dawn for their Diligence.”
I swallowed. All the rules of etiquette pushing their way forward, all the memories of Lina snapping Eunora’s knuckles when she got it wrong. I did not get it wrong.
“The Dawn praised Perry for their sense of Duty.”
A sparkle appeared in Lady Perry’s eye, and she stood and turned to the young girl next to her. She looked about my age, with the same deep auburn hair and tan skin of her mother. Unlike her mother, however, she had vibrant red eyes –like rubies sparkling in the sun.
“Jennifer, introduce yourself.” Lady Perry commanded.
The girl immediately went into a deep curtsy and lowered her head, her face blank, “It is a pleasure to meet a child of the Dawn. I am Jennifer Perry.”
I tried very hard to stay composed. I had no desire to play the part of noble daughter, yet here I was. Saying the lines, acting the part. Did I have to do this? I was already in exile.
No. I can do what I want.
“Can I call you Jen?”
Comments
Gopard
Thanks for the chapter!
Enif
Fuck yeah! Break the rules. Remind everyone why you're in exile.
