BBBen
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Bonus patron exclusive - Pervert Action: Origins
🕑 Added 2016-12-07 08:00:00 +0000 UTC Guess what, guys? I've got you exclusive access to EFon's now complete first draft of his HUGE and very epic prequel story to the Pervert Action series, Pervert Action: Origins.What is Pervert Action: Origins?
You may have seen me announce an earlier draft, but this is the first complete version. He's been working on it for years now, it's a choose-your-own-adventure story that he is going to adapt into a Twine game soon; it's got a crazy amount of branches and endings, and a lot of characters.
If you're wondering, while I wasn't involved in writing this story, EFon has contributed some sections of writing to PAL, plus he was the 'player' when I wrote the first draft of PAL, offering suggestions throughout the process. He's also privy to my own detailed timeline of the setting and he knows where I'm ultimately taking the story, so this prequel is written with a very good idea of how the whole universe fits together. If you've played PAC all the way through then you might remember that the story hints at an origin centuries earlier; this is EFon's story of that time.
Feedback
If you want to do EFon (and me) a favour then he could really use some feedback on this. Detailed feedback is fantastic but even very basic feedback is good. You can either email him directly at mpendergast4@gmail.com or you can just go ahead and leave comments here and I'll pass them along. Feedback isn't required to play through it, but if you want to give it then it's appreciated (that's why he's sharing it with us). Here's some questions from EFon you could consider:
- 1. Are there any arcs that are clearly wrong or don't make sense to the option you choose from the previous one?
- 2. Any notable spelling or tense errors (everything except the epilogues should be in past tense) or dialog colors that were wrong? (some may still be black if I haven't colored them yet.)
- 3. Do you think there should there be tags, either in the choices out the arc titles to caution or lead you to stories?
- 4. Was it enjoyable? Do you think it fit well in the Pervert Action universe? Are there any tropes or fetishes that you wish had been included, but weren't?
Anyway, here's your download: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-dV_mhZT21XU0paOVdwR0RCZU0
P.S. Yes, I made the cover image. It's Azami, one of the characters from the game. This version here is the more recent one, the draft of the story contains the older one which I don't like as much, so I made this newer one instead.
Comments
Skelaturi
that would be great, not askign for full scenes. But just a few renders that feel like a reward.
BBBen
2. I suppose maybe a clothed version and a naked version would be fairly viable, it's just that character design does tend to take a while. Tinkering with costumes, hairstyles, skin and all the complicated process of making facial and body shape settings on 8 more characters would be a time consuming task. Now, if people want me to do it I could take some work time after finishing PAL and make clothed and naked versions for all those characters.
Skelaturi
1. Better 2. Not thinking about all of them, but just a couple on a few places.
BBBen
It is very long, hopefully it'll be easier for you when he converts it to Twine.
BBBen
1. Yes, EFon's planning to convert it to Twine, the Word doc is just necessary for writing it. 2. No, not likely. It would take a lot and I personally don't have the time to make them. I guess it's borderline possible but I think there are so many scenes that it would be hard for me to illustrate it and commissioning an artist to do it would be expensive.
HuhnDoener
I did read some of it, there are so many decisions and outcomes. That's really coll and i like most of it but it's just soooo much XD And being a Word-text doesnt help that much, it needs better formating.
Skelaturi
I'd do some questions here instead. 1. Is the gameplay going to change. While it's doable, i find it annoying it's in word. Also cause you some times end up on the wrong page with the scrolling. 2. Are there going to be any pictures for this in the future?
