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Regression Chapter 1: The Accident
🕑 Added 2022-01-27 22:06:37 +0000 UTC"Well, you're doing it for yourself at this point. Why not convert it into a guest room? It's a two-bedroom house!" Madison expressed to her mother through the car’s microphone. Melinda paused. A sharp sigh scratched out of the speaker. Madison turned the volume knob down.
"When you have a child of your own someday, you'll understand. When you were little, it was such a special time in our family's life." Melinda said happily. Abigial nodded, then pressed her foot into the break peddle. She shook her head in frustration at the rows of red break lights.
"Of course, there's traffic when I'm already running late." Madison complained.
"You don't think you'll be late for your meeting? It’s Monday! You should have given yourself more time for something this important." Melinda said concerned. Madison crossed her legs, then buckled her bladder muscles. The inside walls of her bladder felt stretched into an annoying pain. She changed her mental plan of walking straight from the door to her cubical. Instead, she'd go straight to the lobby bathroom to relieve the building stress. There was no way she could present at a high level with the constant reminder in her bladder.
"I'll be fine. Nothing is going to stop me from getting to this meeting." Abigial determined. She envisioned herself rolling monster truck style over the cars on the road.
"Well do you think you’re practiced enough? This is your second time presenting to the CEO right?” Melinda asked.
"This is the third. I practiced four times last night, and twice the day before, so I'm not terribly worried. They certainly value my opinion at this point. If I give this my best, I'm almost certain they’ll give me the director of analysis position." Madison explained, talking it out calmed her nerves. She was going to kill it; the pain in her bladder included.
A car in front of Madison seized its chance to get in the lane going 5 mph faster. She kicked the break to avoid an accident. Her hands gripped the wheel then spun into the left direction. "Look Mom, I'm gonna have to let you go. I need to pay attention to the road." Madison said, she pressed the end call button on the wheel. The jerking motion tilted the level in her bladder. The walls expanded uncomfortably from the new alignment of pressure. Madison winced, but her mind stayed focused on the road. She looked at the clock, her meeting was in 45 minutes. She reasoned even with traffic she’d get to the office shortly.
"I got this." Madison reassured herself. She navigated through the rest of the congestion and into the company parking lot. She scanned the rows of parked cars for a couple minutes, before finding a spot near the middle of the lot. She squeezed in between the lines. Her eyes glanced down at the large dirty chai still warm and half full. She thought about the bathroom for a split second before chugging. "I'll go right when I get in." She already concluded.
She plucked the cup from the holder, then pressed it to her lips. She downed all of it, then threw the cup into the bottom of her passenger seat. She pushed into the door and opened it. Her legs swung out of the seat then landed onto the ground.
"Okay, hurry up and pee. I want to look at the pre-market analysis before I get in there." Madison thought to herself. She leaned in and grabbed her purse string. A moment later it laid slung across her shoulder as her high heels clacked on the smooth black pavement.
"Good morning, Ms. Monroe!" Kathy exclaimed with a beaconing wave from behind the desk. Madison shot a dismissive smirk at the receptionist. Her mind was in a different world. She didn't hear the following words out of Kathy's mouth.
"I'm sorry?" Madison said in disbelief, her body went full stop. She locked eyes with Kathy.
"Jessica said they're waiting for you." Kathy said. Madison felt her heart sink. Her time was cut in half. She felt panic constrict her chest muscles. Cool adrenalin splashed into her arm's bloodstream.
"Okay." Was all she said. She sinched the rope around her bladder even tighter still. The prolonged stress on her bladder was making it start to ache. The irritation was creeping into the forefront of her mind. She could look at the pre-market just to be safe for the meeting, but she had to pee immediately after that. She pressed her thighs tight together. That narrowed the space between her feet while she walked toward her desk. She made her way down the hallway, then into the main office floor. The sound of people talking and working grew from background noise to a dull roar. Madison walked through the maze of cubicles until she came to her desk. She woke up her screen by shaking the mouse. Her login screen flashed to life. She already started typing the password before her butt hit the cushion. Madison’s eyes scanned the tabs of charts that popped up automatically.
"Damn, this isn't the best day to talk about the battery market, but my research is solid." She thought. Her brain barely started spinning the narrative before Sophia's head popped around the cubical.
"Hey, I thought you would have been in there by now. Where've you been? I saw Tim walk in like fifteen minutes ago." She asked, Madison sighed as she frantically navigated to the next set of tabs.
"I know. Our meeting was supposed to be thirty minutes from now. I just got in. If I didn't hit that traffic, I could have..." Madison said, pausing for a moment. 'gone pee...' she thought, but decided against saying that to Sophia. She winced then writhed from a strong wave of bladder ache. This was an urgent warning. She tried to shake the thought of downing that dirty chai.
"Why the fuck didn't I pee when I woke up!?" Madison thought. Sophia looked concerned; Madison was clearly in discomfort.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm fine." Madison piped, "Sorry, I thought I was going to have more time before this meeting." She responded, her eyes remained locked on the screen. Sophia smirked then stepped away from the cubical.
"I'll let you work, but you have to tell me about your date later on today." She mentioned. Madison kept typing but moved her gaze to Sophia.
"Yeah, I didn't even end up seeing him. I was here wrapping up my slides." Madison said matter-of-factly. She looked back at the screen.
"Oh." She responded in surprise.
"Kind of seemed like a douche anyways. I'm not all that upset about it." Madison finished.
"Well go get em'." Sophia said with a wink. She disappeared behind the wall. Madison wasted no time in getting up from her desk. Her bladder screeched in pain
“Oof…” Madison groaned, she crossed her legs and clenched her thighs tight. The pressure in her bladder barreled down onto her sphincter muscle. It felt like a million needles spearing her insides. This was a final warning. Her mind’s internal monologue focused entirely on finding a bathroom.
“Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee….” She repeated in her head.
Madison quickly snatched the report off her desk. She looked down the hallway. At the end of the rows were the bathrooms. Her feet started moving automatically. Her peripheral vision darkened. Her eyes zeroed in on the doors that grew desperately closer with each step. Her brain relished in the thought of reliving itself of this pain. She had spent the entire morning in this agony.
“Hey.” A slick voice sounded in front of Madison. She recognized it instantly. Anger ballooned in her chest. The shape of Lilly appeared suddenly in the middle of her path. Madison stopped.
“Move, Lilly.” Madison said sharply. She had zero time to play her malicious co-worker’s games.
“Whoa, woah where’s the rush? You can’t spare a minute before meeting with Tim?” Lilly said, with a wicked smile. She strategically placed herself in between Madison and the hallway.
“No. I don’t. And you know that. Now move, Bitch.” Madison seethed. She pushed Lilly to the side. It generated enough space to allow her to slip past. Her gait quickly sped up to a jog-walk toward the bathroom doors.
“You’ll be reporting to me soon anyways. You know he’s giving me the job on Friday.” Lilly yelled out. Abigial slowed and turned back toward Lilly.
“You fucking wish!” She said, then held up the report in her hands. Lilly didn’t seem phased. She crossed her arms and chuckled while watching her fast walk to the bathroom. Madison didn’t have to time to dwell on the interaction. All her mind could fathom was peeing.
Her pupils dilated as she drew near. It was like seeing water for the first time in weeks. Her bladder hadn’t stretched this far in decades. Her body was at capacity. All of the water and wine from the night before, the juice she had for breakfast, the chai on her way in. It all screamed to be released.
Madison gasped internally.
“There you are!” Tim said, walking out of the bathroom. Madison didn’t have words. She knew what was going to happen next. Nobody ever stopped Tim. “Come on, we’ve been waiting.” He spoke. Tim didn’t come across as rude, but it was clear that meant now.
“...” Madison didn’t answer initially. She stood a few feet away from the door, but her eyes were fixed on Tim. He opened the clear glass door into the adjacent meeting room. Abigial saw the next five people underneath Tim sitting there. Her immediate boss, Jessica, locked eyes with her. She shot her look that meant ‘NOW’ and discretely beaconed her toward the meeting room.
Abigial suppressed a painful tear. Her teeth clenched full force. They felt like they were swimming in her mouth. There was no longer a plan. She didn’t have a choice. The tips of her heels shifted from facing the bathroom, toward the meeting room.
The office got quieter as she walked toward the door. The primal urge in her wanted to squat right there and relieve herself onto the floor. The muscles holding up the pee felt shaky. Her fingers trembled as they reached the handle. She knew there was no going back the moment she walked in. In the back of her mind, she knew this was an emergency.
But she had waited years to get this recognition. When the spotlight finally shines on you, there’s isn’t a second chance. All it took was those couple minutes in the bathroom for someone like Lilly to walk into the vacant presentation, and suddenly she’s the only one they care about.
“I’ll be fine. I can hold it.” She thought, while squeezing the last bit of strength out of her bladder. Madison had that thought process just as much as the average person since becoming potty trained. But for the first time since then, she felt doubt creeping in.
“So, what’s your read on this? Why do I give a fuck about this amateur battery company?” Tim asked the moment Madison walked into the room. She perked up. Another round of adrenaline focused her mind. She instantly zoned into presentation mode.
She gently placed her report down on the table. Then looked up. Everyone sat at the end opposite of Madison. The projector knew to start when the presenter waved their hand at the board. Madison motioned; UPS trucks appeared on the screen.
“Great question. UPS is looking to make their entire fleet electric.” She said confidently.
“Which means they must be looking for someone to make batteries for them?” One of the higher-ups deduced.
“Exactly, and if you’re going to convert your entire fleet, you’re going to need a shitload of batteries. Why do it the expensive way?” Madison asked. Her eyes scanned the audience. The crowd seemed dialed in. Especially Tim, he had an intrigued smirk.
“The company is called Avente Electronics. AET is the ticker. Currently they’re trading roughly $14 a share. They’re small fish, but internal documents I got from a source says they’re close to a deal with UPS to make their batteries.” Madison said, she flipped to the next screen to show the emails.
“Hm.” Tim said in intrigue.
“Right now people aren’t on-“ Madison started, then paused in the middle of her sentence. Her eyes widened in fear.
A wet warm sensation suddenly splattered onto the inside of her thigh. On reflex, she tightened her legs closer together. The pain Madison tried desperately to ignore the past few minutes came back stronger than before. Her bladder screamed out in a total meltdown. She tried again to clench her muscles, but they had grown extremely fatigued. They helplessly lost the battle.
“FUCK. FUCK. NO! NOT HERE!!!!! ANYWHERE BUT HERE!” Madison’s mind lost it. She focused all her attention on stopping herself from having a full-blown accident.
“Um. They’re sleeping on this stock. We know from the volume in their trades the past few months that-“ Madison stopped short again. This time instead of a few drops, a light trickle escaped her. She tried clenching her muscles to stop the pee the same way she had her entire life. This time though, no matter how hard she clenched, she couldn’t stop it. More warmth spilled out of her. A stream of pee dripped down her leg, and into her high heels.
“Their… um…. trades are…” Madison tried to continue, but her mind wasn’t there. She was trying everything she could to stop it, yet nothing worked. Her face flushed deep red. Her eyes began watering as the embarrassment hit her.
“Oh god…” Tim muttered. The others began murmuring their own admissions of shock. Madison couldn’t look at them. She kept her eyes locked on the screen. Her bladder muscles couldn’t stop another wave. Each flow was heavier than the last. A full cup worth of pee suddenly dumped out of her.
“*sniff* … we should…. Trade these… Uh.” Madison exclaimed; she twisted her legs like a pretzel when it happened. A waterfall of pee gushed uncontrollably out of her bladder. She subconsciously tried bending her legs to help. Nothing inside of her could stop it anymore. Her sphincter was in excoriating pain any time she tried holding it. None of it worked. A steady stream of pee flowed out of Madison and splattered directly onto the floor.
“Okay that’s enough, Madison.” Tim said. Madison looked at him. Tears rolling over her cheeks. Pee hitting the floor and forming a puddle.
It was over.
This level of trauma had never happened to Madison before. Her mind grew silent. The warning signals in her mind weren’t there anymore. All her thoughts drained into a sinkhole in the back of her head. She felt utter embarrassment at the highest level. The mental image of herself shrunk to the size of thimble.
“Go to the bathroom!! What is wrong with you!??” Jessica yelled out.
“What?” Madison said, she snapped out of her daze and looked down. A large yellow puddle of pee continued growing at her feet. She’d been pissing directly on the floor in silence for nearly ten seconds.
“I.. Um…” Madison tried to speak, but it was too late for words. Everyone looked at her in total disgust. Her body entered fight or flight. She turned to the door and ran out of the room.
Madison left a trail of pee from the meeting and back out into the cubicles. She tried shielding her blubbery face from everyone. But that didn’t stop her from hearing the gasps and giggles.
She didn’t stop peeing until she got in her car. Even then, dribbles leaked out into her leather seat. The wet fabric of her skirt clung to her skin as a constant reminder.
Madison cried the whole way home. No thoughts. Just the empty feeling of life altering embarrassment.
***
Madison opened the front entrance door just wide enough for her to slip through. She locked eyes with Kathy at the front desk.
“Hey good morning, Kathy.” Madison said in a forced cheerful tone. Kathy looked up from the desk, then acknowledged Madison’s greeting with a smile and nod. Her attention moved right back to the computer screen.
Madison walked past the front desk, and into the bathrooms behind it. Her heels clacked on the linoleum flooring. She B-lined from the door to the first stall. She snatched the handle then quickly scuttled in.
“No accidents today.” She thought confidently as she undid her pants. She let them fall to the floor, before sitting on the toilet. The pressure in her bladder was minimal, mostly because she already went 15 minutes ago when she left the house. A weak stream dribbled into the bowl. It lasted less than five seconds. She tore some squares off the roll, wiped, then reassembled her outfit. She pushed the stall door open and walked back out into reception. Madison made her way into the labyrinth of cubicles. She passed by lesser co-workers she would usually stop by and chat with.
“I’m not wetting myself in front of them.” She concluded already. None of them had looked up to say ‘hello’ in the past week anyways.
Madison placed her purse and notebook on the desk. She swiveled her chair, then sat down in front of the screen. ‘Friday’ read the date on the Windows login screen.
“The new director!” Madison thought, anxiety raced through her veins. She blocked out the accident from resurfacing in her mind. She stood up from her chair then started walking down the rows of cubicles. “I did damn good work this year.” She reasoned; her glance remained fixed on where Tim’s office would come into view. “Monday aside, I’m the best analyst on this floor. He’d be foolish to take it away from me just because I had an…” Madison thought, she closed her eyes and pushed the images out again.
“Oof!” Sophia said as the two gently collided into one another.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Madison said as she recoiled. The two just bumped shoulders in the middle of an intersection. Sophia regained her composure then waved it off.
“Haha, it’s okay. Watch where you’re going though! You know it gets crazy in here.” Sophia said happily, Madison flashed an appreciative smile back. She expected Sophia to continue the conversation. Instead, the two started at each other for a couple moments in silence.
“Um…” Sophia said, her gaze shifted from Madison to the hallway she was walking down.
“How are you??” Madison said suddenly to break the awkwardness. This was only the second time Madison had seen Sophia since the accident.
“I’m good!... Yeah… really good.” Sophia said, seemingly trailing off. “…How are you uh… doing?” She asked with a sympathetically.
“I’m okay, yeah no totally okay. I’m feeling great about the new director position I uh… think it’s gonna be really good for me.” Madison said, realizing instantly how overly confident she sounded. Sophia seemed happy for her friend though.
“That’s great, I really hope you get it.” Sophia said. Madison smiled back, but in her mind, she felt anxiety grip her thoughts. A gentle weight started growing in her bladder. She gritted her teeth.
“I can’t have an accident in front of Sophia!” She thought frantically, her body hyper-focused on the feeling. She recalled feeling in control during the meeting, only for pee to helplessly spill out of her. Her face flushed red. She started taking a couple steps away from the conversation. Sophia seemed confused about her friend’s slow departure.
“Oh one more thing before you go.” Sophia said, Madison clenched her muscles to stop anything from coming out.
“We should start talking about the road trip soon! I know you want to see LA and the Grand Canyon, but we need to start figuring out logistics if we want to do it this summer. You know like where we’ll stay and um…” Sophia paused briefly before finishing in a quieter tone, “… Bathroom breaks.”
Madison felt her heart sink. She didn’t want to be known as the girl that had bathroom problems. Especially by her friends here. She felt compelled in the moment to defend herself.
“Oh, don’t worry about that! I’ll be totally fine.” She said, again not realizing until after how silly it sounded to only say ‘I will be fine.’ And not both.
“Yeah, well, think about it! I’ll see you around.” Sophia said, she walked around Madison then continued down the hall. Madison let out a disheveled sigh.
“She totally thinks I have accidents all the time…” Madison thought, the anxiety in her hadn’t dissipated. She felt an overwhelming urge to hurry to the bathroom. Her focus shifted to the opposite end of the room. She spun around, then fast-walked down toward the bathrooms.
With the same procedure as before, she b-lined for the stall the moment she walked in. Her fingers trembled with anxiety as she undid her pants button. She slapped her butt onto the toilet bowl. She released the muscles in her bladder.
“Ah..” She whispered, expecting a rush of pee to flow out of her. Instead, it was another light trickle. This one was even weaker than before. It lasted a couple seconds, before dissipating into little dribbles. Madison felt her anxiety melt temporarily. “At least it wasn’t in my pants.” She reasoned. She got up, put her pants back on, then walked out. Only to immediately feel her blood boil.
“Hello, Maddy.” Lilly said as Madison walked out the bathroom. Madison’s face contortioned in disgust.
“Do NOT call me that.” Madison said sternly. Lilly smirked, although was surprised by how Madison defended herself.
“Sure, but just as long as you call me Director.” Lilly said. Madison couldn’t help it, her jaw dropped in shock. She clenched her fists from the anger and sadness that bubbled in her chest.
“Are you telling-“ Madison said, but Lilly cut her off.
“That I’m director of analysis and you’re not? Yes. That is exactly what I’m telling you.” Lilly said with a cocky, overly smug attitude. Madison’s anger was converting into a hodgepodge of rage, jealousy, and depression.
“Why on Earth would he pick you over me!? I’ve been here for a year and half more than you! I outsold you for three quarters in a row, and you haven’t even presented to the board once!” Madison spilled in frustration. Her emotions from this week were boiling over, and out her mouth. Lilly motioned toward the bathroom door behind her.
“You know why.” Lilly said. Madison squinted then shook her head in anger. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in there a lot lately.” Lilly teased.
“Ugh. You’re SUCH an Asshole.” Madison said, she shoved Lilly to the side and started walking directly toward Tim’s office. Lilly didn’t respond, she just turned to watch Madison walk away. A content wicked smile planted firmly on her face.
Madison did nothing to contain the rage storming inside. This was the greatest injustice she’d ever experienced. It wasn’t fair that Lilly was picked over her. “How could he be this short sighted!? It was one accident! How could he let that define my entire career???” She questioned as she walked through the sea of people. Every conversation she walked past grew quieter. She could feel the eyes staring at her. She rounded a corner, then froze in fear.
Tim was sitting there, in his office, typing on the computer.
Madison couldn’t help herself. She envisioned herself walking into his office in a tiff. Berating him for picking someone lower than her for the position, and Lilly of all people. He knew their dynamic.
But that scene in her mind changed. She crossed her legs. The feeling of her bladder felt too heavy. She tried clenching, but the pee didn’t stop this time either. That same look of disgust from Monday. Back in reality, Madison’s eyes shot to the small one-person bathroom next to Tim’s office. She didn’t dwell on the scenario any longer. She started walking and split toward the bathroom before reaching Tim’s door.
She plopped her butt on the toilet again. She relaxed the muscles controlling her bladder. Nothing came out. Madison pushed down on her bladder, but still nothing. She could feel something had collected inside since her last trip to the bathroom. She sat patiently, feeling the pee slowly work it’s way out of her. When it arrived at the apex, she peed four little dribbles.
“You’ve been in here a lot lately.” Lilly’s voice said in Madison’s mind as she looked down at the clothes around her ankles.
She didn’t walk into Tim’s office after peeing. She didn’t have the heart. She trudged back to her desk instead to finish out another middling, bathroom filled day.
