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Update/Gale's Downsize
🕑 Added 2024-01-22 20:20:19 +0000 UTCIt's been two years since Gale's grow drive~ She's downsized, but not totally down to her natural size, she kept some of the saline. Now to ask... what's next for her?
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It’s a new year and I’m focusing on my resolution. “Be more active;” this doesn’t mean to exercise more. Well, it can mean that, but what I want is to push myself more. Being on top of my chores, cooking more, scheduling streams and art time; however, let’s focus on how I came to deciding on this resolution.
It was in the summer that patreon flubbed the payment system and knocked alot (nearly 25%) of support permanently off my patreon. That was rough and it made things difficult. Illness came, work responsibilities took me away, and Milkshakes (my kitty) was unwell and needed surgery. A family member outright rejected helping him and saw no problem in seeing him suffer. That last one I never made a post here for you all. Something was wrong with me.
There was a discussion I had about AI and what it means for art. A discussion/disagreement I had left me feeling dejected. My spirit cracked a bit. I don’t have complete hate for AI generated art; it’s a fun tool, but there is the feeling that eventually I can’t keep up and would just get buried under ai ‘creators’.
In december a visit with one of my specialist doctors revealed that my health declined a bit. I shut down during the visit. The doctor left and I cried in the room.
I was broken and beat after that stretch of troubles since the summer. Little things piled up on me.
I also started streaming; I enjoyed it. If you follow along on twitch and enjoy it too, thank you. It’s greatly helped with my self image like nothing else. It’s been a positive beacon for myself as things just piled on. I hyper fixated and clung hard to it.
It was a new thing and my hyper fixation made things decline further.
There was a good thing that happened in december. After 4 years, my significant other finally is receiving her disability from veteran’s affairs again. It wasn’t the full amount as before, but ,nonetheless, a weight feels like it has been lifted. If you remember; I announced that 4 years ago my SO lost her disability due to a VA error. We nearly became homeless; we would’ve been homeless without your support and me trying to find a steady job.
Still, with this weight lifted, something in me didn’t budge. My spirit was broken.
Let’s get back to ‘be more active’ as the resolution. I have to fight against these feelings and bad news. I need to be active in doing that. Even if my spirit is hurt/broken/etc.
This includes having a work schedule for my art, streaming, and day job. It’s a lot and if I have to set a list of priorities it would be this, 1. Day job (I’m ill constantly and need the insurance), 2. Art (seriously I want this to never end), 3. Streaming (it’s something healthy to help build my social skills and self image).
I’ve redone my schedule, and if you’re on my discord, you’ll see that I have a stream schedule with more art streams. I’ll be streaming art on discord on sundays, and streaming on picarto on mondays. I also want to thank friends and you all who’ve been pushing me to get on the horse again.
Likewise, I need to set time for walks, jogs, or stretches. Things need to change internally from me.
Ultimately, I want to say sorry for the past 6 months. I’m trying to fight these internal demons. I know I can do it; just those buggers finally got through to me.
Thank you for the continued support and also being part of my journey as an artist and a person.
Thank you all for the comments and likes on here. You have no idea how much these mean to me.
Find all my links here!
Comments
GIJ
*hugs* You got this man, do your best ^^
unnamed47
Downsized, for now~
Łukasz Bownik
Oh, it is so bad she got downsized... :<
