Travis Starnes
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Playing by Ear (Country Roads #1) - Chapter 19
🕑 Added 2020-10-06 18:28:56 +0000 UTC
I let Hanna go home, hoping she got a chance to put the day behind her. School had been bad enough, but Marcus’s reaction had been brutal. If I had to miss a day of training to let her recover, even a little bit from that, then it was worth it.
I made my way across the creek and called Chef.
“Hey, Chef, it’s Charlie.”
“You’re late.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. As we were leaving school, I found out Hanna couldn’t take me today, and I only just now got to a phone.”
“Is she okay?”
“Yes, she just has some personal stuff and can’t drive me today.”
“Okay. I have your address and I’ll send someone to come get you and I’ll make sure you get home. I know you don’t have a cell phone, but next time try and find out ahead of time so we can make arrangements. I set aside time to work with you and I don’t like wasting my time.”
“I understand, and I promise I won’t make a habit of this.”
“Good. Give me ten minutes or so.”
The person he sent to pick me up was Vinney. Apparently, he’d dated someone who lived at Oakdale and knew where it was. He was driving a beat-up old truck that fit with the other cars in the estates. I thought about it and realized I didn’t know much about him. Hanna, Jordan, and the rest all drove newish sedans. I knew that the car people drove didn’t tell you if they were poor or rich or whatever, but it was an indication.
We made idle chit-chat on the way back to the Blue Ridge. He didn’t pry into why Hanna wasn’t driving me, which was good. It wasn’t my place to air her problems, at least, not without her permission.
Chef was another matter. When I walked in, before I could make it out back, Chef waved me towards the back of the kitchen.
“My office,” he said.
His office, in this case, meant the storage room. He had an actual office, or at least a desk and files, upstairs in his apartment. When he said ‘my office’ during a shift, he always meant the storage room, basically for the same reason Willie and the guys used it in between sets on weekends. It was fairly secluded and you could manage a conversation there without being overheard.
Of course, that didn’t work out the handful of times Chef had needed to chew someone out, which I’d only seen once. Vinney had told me it was pretty rare and seldom happened for little things like messing up on orders or workplace problems. He reserved his anger for when someone disappointed him. Since everyone who worked here seemed to be a project of one sort or another, that usually meant not living up to whatever they had committed to improving about themselves. For employees, the Blue Ridge was as much a social worker’s office as it was a place of business, with Chef filling in the role of therapist, counselor, and drill instructor all in one.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he said as soon as we got into the storage room.
“She just had a rough day and needed some personal time is all.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“Chef, I’m not sure it’s my place …”
“Charlie,” he said, interrupting me. “I’m not sure what Hanna has told you about her past. I’m not going to tell you anything, but I will tell you that she has had some serious stuff happen to her that led her to a bad place a few years ago. That’s how she ended up here with me. She has a tendency to shut down and hold everything in when things are going bad, and too much of that can cause serious consequences. I’m not asking you to divulge anything private to me or share any of her secrets, although I promise you I probably know more of those than you do. I’m asking you to give me a rundown of what happened to her today that caused her to break her schedule. I’m guessing it happened at school, and I’m going to guess it wasn’t something private only the two of you know about.”
“No, it was public, well, most of it.”
“Then tell me. I’m not being nosey or trying to pry. That girl’s done a lot of hard work to put herself back together, and if there’s something serious that might undo all that work, I need to know about it. I promise she won’t get mad that you talked to me. I know it seems like I’m blowing this out of proportion, since she doesn’t even work today; but this isn’t like her, which is a sign we should worry.”
“You’re not blowing it out of proportion. It was pretty bad,” I said, sighing. “There was a social media post about her, well, pretending to be her diary. There were a bunch of posts. It made all kinds of claims about her … umm … moral choices, I guess. It also included a picture of her holding hands with another guy, and text that suggested they were sleeping together. The guy she’s dating saw it and came after her. He said some pretty nasty stuff, accused her of cheating on him, and basically went off on her.”
“What did she do?”
“She kind of, sank into herself and cried.”
“How did it end?”
“I may have threatened to beat him to death with my crutch.”
“Charlie!” he said, in a warning tone.
“I wasn’t going to do it. He was just on a roll and I needed to snap him out of it. After he walked away, I caught up to him and talked sense into him, showing him he was both wrong and what an asshole he had been. He promised to call her tonight and beg for forgivingness.”
“How did you leave things with Hanna? How was she when you left her?”
“We talked for a little bit, she seemed to be better. Still upset about the post, but Marcus backing off and then seeing how wrong he was helped. I offered to stay with her and keep her company, but she said she wanted to go to bed early. She wasn’t crying anymore and even laughed at a stupid joke I made.”
“Okay,” he said, stopping to think for a moment. “I’ll call her mom and ask her to keep an eye on Hanna, just in case. I’d like for you to call her tonight, too; just to check in as a friend. You can tell her I asked you to or not. She just needs to know she has a support structure around her.”
“Okay.”
“Good. You did a good job, by the way. I’m proud of how you handled that.”
“Thanks,” I said, unsure of how to respond.
“Follow me,” he said.
I did as I was told, and was surprised that instead of heading to where we normally trained, we ended up in his apartment.
“Have a seat. Instead of working on your body today, I think it’s time we started working on the rest of you. Martial arts are never about just building up the body. I know the MMA that people see on TV. That’s what they give you, but there’s a philosophy behind all traditional martial arts forms. It’s not always the same, since much come from different religious ideas, but they have similar themes at their core. I told you that I started my training by doing Wushu, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Wushu is a modernization, kind of, of Shaolin, a traditional Chinese form of martial arts that originated with Buddhist monks more than fifteen hundred years ago. The monks were training their bodies along with their minds, trying to focus themselves and reach that perfect point of balance. For them, the forms were as much meditation as physical. One thing that has remained from the Shaolin traditions, have been the tenants. These are the ideas that Shaolin, and later Wushu, are built around. They are the core values that we hold ourselves to, as part of finding that perfect point of balance.”
“What are they?”
“There are eight. The first is Motivation. You need a drive and desire to succeed in anything you do, be it martial arts, school, dating, or music, you will face challenges and obstacles. To get past them and succeed, you need to want it.”
“I can see that, I guess. Although Dad always had the desire to become a hit musician, he never made it, so I’m guessing there’s more to it than that.”
“That’s why there are eight tenants. The second is Confidence. You might want to succeed, but if you don’t believe in yourself, then you’ve already lost. This isn’t overconfidence, you have to understand your limitations and be realistic about them. Believing in yourself is the first step to archiving the thing you’re motivated about.”
“That’s a tough one.”
“Especially for a teenager. I know it’s easy to second guess yourself. That’s the time when you need to stop and remember who you are. It’s also important to remind others what they can achieve, because none of us are an island.
“Third is Discipline. This might be one of the most important. You need to control yourself and put in the work to achieve what you want. A disciplined mind makes a successful man.
“Fourth is Perseverance. Even if you’re confident and motivated and have discipline, you will stumble. That’s part of life. This is when you need to dig deep and keep going; push through the pain, be it physical or emotional, and keep going. In the end, the only person who can stop you is you.
“The first four are all internal. These are the things that you can do to improve yourself and meet your goals. Be motivated and have a goal, have confidence in your own abilities, be willing to put in the work to achieve your goal, and being able to push through the things that get in your way. Mastering these four things will allow you to achieve anything, if you really commit to them.”
“You said there were eight tenants.”
“I did, and there are. The first four are internal, the last four are external. True warriors, which is what the Shaolin monks are, are about more than just themselves. They understand that they affect those around themselves. Balance is both external as well as internal. The fifth tenant is very important. Respect. You must be willing to respect both yourself and others.
“Sixth is Community. By that, we mean caring for others and being a positive force for others. You live as part of a larger body, and what you do affects that community, and ultimately, you.
“Seventh is Righteousness. This isn’t meant to be overtly religious, which many people take the word righteousness to mean. The word, however, has a bigger context. It means doing the right thing. That doesn’t mean doing the right thing because you want to be seen doing the right thing, but doing the right thing simply because it’s right.
“Last, and possibly the hardest of all of the tenants, is Tolerance. You cannot allow your emotions to overflow and affect who you are. This doesn’t mean you have to accept aggression towards yourself or others, but you must control your response. You must accept others as they are, not as you want them to be. You mustn’t allow your emotions to dictate how you treat others. It can be easy to be intolerant, and hate someone because of who they associate with or because of who they are. We must look beyond that. People should be judged on what they have done, alone.”
“I try to do that,” I said, somewhat defensively.
“I know you do. I would not have agreed to train you if I hadn’t felt that you embodied the tenants. You’ve shown me each day that I was right in my judgment. What this lesson was about wasn’t for you to learn how to start acting. It’s for you to be more mindful of what you’re doing and think about why you’re making the choices you are. None of us is perfect. The balance the monks sought is a nearly unobtainable dream. What we understand, is that it’s the struggle that we really need. There will be times when you’re challenged and when you face problems. It’s in those times I want you to stop and think about these tenants.”
“I will.”
“Good. Also, it sounds like you did good with Hanna. She needs a friend. I’m really glad you’ve become that for her. Now, let’s get in at least a little physical activity before I get you back home.”
Rhonda and I had originally planned to eat outside the next day, but since Hanna had still been in a mood when she picked me up in the morning, I wanted to check on her. When we got to the table, everyone was walking on eggshells around her, clearly concerned but unsure of what to do.
“I know this breaks from what we normally do, but why don’t you go eat with your friends today. I need to talk to Hanna and see if there’s anything I do to help.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“No. She isn’t big on sharing with others and every person around makes it less likely she’ll open up. I’m worried she’ll keep this all bottled up and let it eat away at her.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“No, it’s okay. You’re doing a good thing for your friend. It’s one of the reasons I like you.”
She squeezed my hand and headed to her original lunch table while I went over to Hanna.
“Hey, get your lunch and come with me.”
“What? Why?”
“Just come on. Please.”
“Fine.”
Everyone else at the table seemed unsure of what to do. Jordan, always the most assertive of the group, started collecting her stuff, but I waved her down. I think she wanted to protest, but thankfully she decided against that.
“Why are we going outside?” she said as we went out one of the exterior doors to the cafeteria and headed towards the track and the bleachers.
“I didn’t want to bother you this morning, because you’re not much of a morning person, but I thought we should talk.”
“I’m fine, Charlie.”
“You’re not. Hanna, we may not have known each other for a long time, but even I can see you’re not fine. Did Marcus call you?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“He apologized. He saw the picture and stuff and thought it was real. He was upset and lashing out. He asked me if I still wanted to go out with him.”
“Do you?”
She signed and waited a moment before saying, “Yes. I told him we could still go out but if he ever pulled that shit with me again we were done for good.”
“Good … that you won’t put up with it again, I mean. You’re still upset though, about the messages?”
“Yes. I’m just sick of all the bullshit. I can’t wait to get out of here and start my real life.”
“I’m no expert, but I think the bullshit and drama doesn’t go away when you get older.”
“Maybe not, but it’ll be different people and … stuff won’t matter anymore.”
“Chef asked me last night what happened.”
“I know. He called Mom. It’s okay. He’s been looking after me for a while, so I’m used to it.”
I went quiet, thinking. I really wanted to ask what happened in her past and what Chef had to do with it, but she clearly didn’t want to talk about that.
Instead, I said, “So you think it was the girl from the party who posted it?”
“Yeah. She hates me. Like, really hates me. I can’t think of anyone else who would go to the trouble.”
“What was the point, though? Everyone has to know it’s just meant to slam you, and everything there is bullshit. The only people that will buy into it are people who already don’t like you, and who cares what they think.”
“In my head, I know that’s right, but it still sucks.”
“You know the one good thing about high school drama?”
“What?”
“There’s a lot of it. By the end of the day today something else big and earth-shattering will have happened to someone else and you will be yesterday’s news.”
“Look at the guy who’s gone to all of one month’s worth of high school and has it all figured out.”
“That’s only ‘cause it isn’t just high school. Everywhere’s like this. Shitty people in high school become shitty adults who kept acting the same. I saw plenty of it traveling with my dad. Maybe more, since we weren’t exactly getting the valedictorians while playing in dive bars.”
“So I have this to look forward to my whole life?”
“Sadly, I think so. The flip side is, you also have all the good stuff to look forward too, as well. It’s not all terrible around here, is it? You have friends, you have fun, a few laughs.”
“I guess.”
“I know it seems like the bullshit will go on forever, but I’m pretty sure it won’t.”
“Says the guy who keeps having run-ins with Aaron.”
“Yea, well …”
“No, I get it. You’re saying I need to suck it up and just push past it.”
“I was trying to be more encouraging than that.”
“I’m just kidding, you did great. I do feel a little better and I promise I’ll snap out of it. Hopefully, you’re right and someone else’s drama will start soon. I can’t wait to go back to being just another face in the halls.”
We spent the rest of the lunch just talking about nothing important. I let Hanna do most of the talking, venting out gossip or things she hated about high school. I think, more than anything I said, that helped her out the most. She needed to blow off steam and be forced to stop holding her feelings inside.
She seemed much more relaxed and closer to the old Hanna by the time we finished lunch.
Thankfully, there weren’t any more crises for the rest of the week. As I predicted, a new drama did pop up, this time taking the form of drama kids catching two teachers making out in the parking lot. By the next day, everyone had forgotten Hanna and the social media posts.
Saturday was another success. The audience was bigger yet again, with more new faces, filling the Blue Ridge almost to capacity. Even better, a good number stuck around for Willie’s set as well, which eased some of the guilt I felt for taking over his stage so much. Both Chef and Willie were thrilled with the larger crowds and they were looking into the possibility of extending the music time to later, and increasing my setlist. Most of the audience ordered drinks throughout the night, meaning the extra time would turn into additional profits for everyone. They were also ordering food, and Chef considered extending the kitchen hours as well.
Besides my time on stage, I was learning a lot with Willie. We’d started working on more than just playing. He talked to me about things he’d learned on stage over the years, ways to engage and pump up the audience or tell when a song isn’t working. In the latter case he had suggestions for altering a song on the fly to try and win them back. It was something that took practice, and he carved out some time with the band on practice days to test it out, since if I did something like change tempo, the rest of the band had to be with me. My first go had been a disaster, but Willie promised that was how it went with everyone. The more we practiced doing something unplanned like that, the better we’d all work together and keep it going.
Besides stage skills, I also had a lot of questions about writing music. I’d had ideas in the past and had even jotted some things down, but it was limited, since I only really thought about a single part, the lead guitar. That was fine for playing around but if I wanted to actually write my own music, it would take more than that. As with the vocal lessons, Willie warned me that he wasn’t the best person to teach this. He could help and give me some pointers, but he wasn’t a songwriter. Again, like the vocal lessons, he offered to help find someone to help me.
He’d actually found me someone to help with vocal training, but the price tag was too steep. Even with the extra money from playing, I was pretty far from being able to afford it, and I didn’t want to even mention it to Mom. Knowing her, she’d use it as a pretext for me to stop contributing to bills. We’d started having a little more food in the house and Mom had made noises about doing a little less overtime if my contributions remained the same. She seemed a little less stressed as money pressures eased. I couldn’t let my wanting voice lessons to put those pressures back.
For now I kept learning from Willie and enjoying myself on stage. If that was all this ended up being, I’d still forever feel lucky for being given the opportunity. Despite the little things like school, I’d been having more fun over the last few weeks with music and Rhonda than I could ever remember having.
Life was going pretty good.
