endlessjess
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This Horrible Disney Game
🕑 Added 2022-05-04 08:13:40 +0000 UTCSadly, i can not afford to go to Disney World and film a funny video of me running around hanging out with Eeyore and hitting on Pocahontas, what with the economy and all. But that's okay. Because we have the next best thing. This.... video game. This rather shit video game.
Look I said it was the next best thing, not that it was a good thing. This is... i guess.. some kind of Disney park simulator. You make your little boy or girl and then you run around lost, interacting with characters while your parents freak the fuck out, unable to find you before Eeyore steals your soul and leaves you trapped in the Hundred Acre Wood while he lives your life finally free of the ennui that has plagued him for so long.
It's not even really that bad, as long as you're either a literal baby, or a grown man who plays shitty games and screams about being horny for a living, but for everyone else it's probably best that you avoid this one. There's my professional warning as a real reviewer, as if you were in danger of playing it before i swooped in and played it for you. That's what i assume to be the case every time, one of the small lies we all must tell ourselves to feel that we're making a difference in this unchanging world of sadness.
Comments
Boldizar
Eeyore fixin' to fuck Karen.
Ian Salyers
Micky Mouse is the center character of Disney because he has the best back story. He's like Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad. Totally polished public persona, but secretly Micky kidnaps helpless children from their hapless (or sometimes willing) parents and sets them to work in his underground child slave sweatshops until their backs break or they become ultra buff through a lifetime of labor like that one scene from Conan the Barbarian. At which point they've been so thoroughly brainwashed that they don the mascot costumes and lure other children into the same fate they endured. Mickey is awesome IDK what your problem with Mickey is.
