endlessjess
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Another Accursed Booze Quest
🕑 Added 2021-04-30 11:59:30 +0000 UTCI don't know what's more cursed, this show.... or me, with this show.
This episode in particular falls into a very specific sub-genre of my content. The "i clearly did not feel at all up to being charismatic or funny tonight but damn it, it's my job so we'll just roll camera until i either ramble, bumble, stumble, or stink my way into doing or being something sufficiently entertaining... or drink my way there."
That's not the official name for it, i'll have to think of something catchier... wait i got it. The category is called "Beer Quest, (and friends)." It's kind of like Garfield and Friends, if the entire show was the shitty farm segment, but also Garfield was in the farm segment, kicking everyone's ass and calling everyone a cuck. You didn't ask for it, and Garfield didn't ask to be in it, but alright screw it who gives a fuck.
Whenever i write the text post for an episode of this show i can't tell if i'm writing an apologetic explanation or a desperate justification for what you're about to see. Do i even have to warn you what you're in for at this point? It's Booze Quest, or Beer Quest, either way you all ought to know what that means by now.
Even if i told you this video was gonna microchip you and take your freedoms away, you couldn't resist clicking on it any more than i can resist making them. It's too funny for how terrible it is, too fun to make for how painful it is to make, and you paid to watch it just like i paid for all the damn beer. We're trapped in this nightmare together. We share this curse now, I'm Samara Morgan and this is my VHS tape, cue theme from Jackass.
This episode features multiple vitriolic tirades concerning my unsolicited opinions on the Animaniacs, numerous bits that go absolutely nowhere and lack any coherent point, and jokes that are so aimless and unfunny they accidentally qualify as anti-humor, and all that is before i get drunk.
It also features a scary forest chase, deadly rock hopping, my ongoing feud with dogs, jokes that are actually funny, vivid hallucinations, me picking a fight with an Evil Dead vine... and losing, and the best camera-woman on earth somehow keeping up with it all.
The best and worst episodes of Beer and Booze Quest are indistinguishable from one another, like a hideous horseshoe of humor, and it's in these episodes that a subtly artful synchronicity of intent and execution are achieved, as my powers noticeably scale with each foul concoction imbibed. Truly, the medium is the message.
God, I'm watching it back as I write this and only just realizing how fucking insane this video is. For the first 6 minutes it couldn't be more obvious how totally uninterested i am in either drinking or filming. Dead sober, leaning on a tree not so much for stability as emotional support, until i finally manage to get myself rolling and find a groove right around my 3rd drink and 2nd Animaniacs rant, at which point you can actually see me remember how funny and cool i am, and from there it's just a poo-poo train of madness chug-a-lug-chug-chuggin onward to the toilet like the Poo-lar Express.
Also i throw up a lot and spew beer on myself in these videos and it's really vile and i'm sorry for that. The monstrous, ever-evolving beard engulfing my face and catching all my slime makes it so much grosser, but i can't get rid of it, it's too goddamn funny. Cue Jackass theme again.
Comments
Discount Gumshoe
My favorite part of Beer Quest I think is that its entirely possible that this saga comes to a sudden, explosive crashing end when and if Jess ever finds that fabled "Good beer" Name another adventurous saga where it could come to a sudden conclusion in a single episode.
