endlessjess
patreon
Blue Glow: KH3 - Extended Patron Cut
🕑 Added 2019-02-22 21:22:11 +0000 UTCOkay this is the last Kingdom Hearts post I swear (probably). Here is a metric fuck-ton of laffs and gaffs with yours truly actually playing kingdom hearts 3. This was a 4 hour stream that i put an absurd amount of thought into cutting down to 45 minutes, and then an even more stupid amount of time cutting down further to 27 minutes. The 27 minute version I'm uploading publicly, but since you're all giving me money you've earned the full 45 minute version, as well as a 20 minute bonus video. That's over an hour of me riffing my way through the endless prologue of this animu acid trip.
Most of what was cut between this and the public version is a bunch of slightly longer tirades and far more evil profanity. Honestly I think the shorter version sort of... flows better, because the cuts are quicker and that seems to work better for a highlights video, which by its nature should be as short as possible. I do think a lot of the stuff from the longer version is funny and worth seeing, but if you're short on time, watching the shorter version is just as valid. I'll link it here as well.
But wait, there's more (for some reason). If you really don't value your time at all, here's an entire extra video as a patron bonus. This is a full, extra 22 minutes of even more cut stuff that i'm vaguely certain is hilarious, just not in a fit-for-public-consumption way. This includes a lot more hemming and hawing about blocked cutscenes, a completely insane reoccurring Trump bit, some babbling about being sick, a long tangent where i for some reason saw fit to recount the entire plot of the largely forgotten 1968 live action Disney classic Blackbeard's Ghost, my suggestions for more interesting Disney Worlds than the one's Square chose, and some gummi ship exploration. Like i said these are all decent bits and probably interesting talking points, but they don't exactly fit the format of a highlight reel.
Short version for normies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pANHg3g2t9I
Long version for hambois
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm9LPP568hE
Extra Bonus video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOx46TjLU5c
When do i get credit for being a content-machine? I've lost my humanity completely, i only exist to pump out videos, and i've been smashing this shit without taking a single break for 8 fuckin years. I'm not proud of it, but i demand recognition for my tireless and constant contributions to filling the silence of your hum-drum, quietly desperate, existentially horrific lives. In the economy of background noise that has become our cultural landscape how am I not a billionaire?
I am the Inhuman Content Man. The Content-Masochist. The Non-Consenting Constant Content Malcontent. I sold my soul to live in a hole, and I won't be satisfied until my sacrifice is met with it's due reparations.
Anyways, enjoy hearing me riff on a weeb game for pre-teens. As a wise-beyond-his-years baby elephant vacuum cleaner once famously said, it's a living.
