paddywolfe
patreon
Tiger Tea 11/8/2021
🕑 Added 2021-11-08 12:35:05 +0000 UTCi want to make this perfectly clear that i am not making light of or exploiting or romanticizing suicide or suicidal thoughts in any way. it took some soul searching to give myself permission to include this one and it might be upsetting for a lot of people. in the end i chose to keep this because i believe addressing these feelings is the first step towards getting help. the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 800-273-8255.
years ago i had to take someone i love to the emergency room for purposely attempting an overdose. they were isolated from me and i had to wait in a crowded hallway. a heavily inebriated guy who smelled like a potato farm was next to me on the floor. he told me he had wanted to kill himself and that he had drank to work up the courage to take a bunch of pills but instead ended up extremely drunk and oddly scared of alcohol poisoning. he asked me what was there to keep living for. i told him i didn't know but told him why i was there. on the way home later that night we were t-boned by a lady trying to read a map while driving late at night (years before google maps). the way she hit would have killed one of my kids had they been in the car.
i don't know what happened to my drunk hallway companion. i only hope he got help. as for the person this is initially about, they have been getting help, thankfully. i still don't have an answer that i can put into exact words for him. i guess i'm still trying to understand my own darker feelings and thoughts. i know i want to live and to be a positive force of some kind. that's why i include this one. i want to understand the darkness to see the light.
