Kelryn Colrite
patreon
Okay I have some words...
🕑 Added 2019-01-07 20:42:25 +0000 UTCI'm kind of pissed off about some things and I really need to talk about them because I've been putting it off for some time.
I need people to understand what Patreon is first though. Patreon is not a marketplace. Patreon is not Amazon. Patreon is not Ebay or Goodreads or Barnes and Noble or anything like that. This is a place that as a creator I can ask people to support my work and in return, I give them thank you gifts for believing and supporting my art.
You see this is sort of a throwback to the old days when an artist would have an idea for a play or a sculpture or some other great project and they would receive patronage from a richer man - a count, a duke, what have you - that believed in the artist's work. The rich man would then see a share of the profits or something else of the like in return. To a lesser extent, this is Patreon.
The other thing I need to talk about that I think many, many people don't understand is how an artist works. An artist is their own worst enemy. They hate themselves, they hate their work. There are varying levels of this of course but at the end of the day, I've never met a fellow artist without a self loathing complex.
This leads to an unsureness of their own worth within themselves and especially within their work. Non-artists don't seem to understand that an artist doesn't generally put his work out for the validation that he's amazing or anything - although there are some egomaniacs out there that make the rest of us look like douchebags - they simply want to feel like their time is worth it. They're creating something that has some sort of worth or merit; if not in their own eyes than in the eyes of the other.
Now that I've sort of touched on these two things I need to vent about some shit.
If you're a patron who can't decide whether they want to pledge $1, $5 or $10, that's fine, but I want you to know that when I start the month with you pledging at a certain amount and I have to slowly watch that number decrease over the days it starts to hit my self esteem and make me wonder about the worth of my own work. When that happens again and again every month, it's like playing yo-yo with my feelings. This is where that feeling of urgency comes from like I'm not good enough. That I'm pressured to put out content all the time and without any regard to quality, that's because of these people. They put so much undue pressure on me by basically telling me that they have no idea if my work is even worthy; the worst kind of validation for an artist.
The second kind of person that I'm fed up with is the ones that treat me like a bookstore. They think they can pledge me a five in order to get my whole library and then disappear. This is kind of shitty for two reasons. The first is that it makes my work feel really cheap and it makes me feel very used. You're basically saying that my novels are what you would buy at the dollar store. I don't care what level of writer you are, thinking about your work in the bargain bin is both cringey and painful. The second reason this is shitty is because it doesn't give me a chance to grow with you. You're telling me that I've done the best I can and you don't care to stick around to see where else I can go. Peaking is one of my greatest fears as an artist and on many occasions I've wondered if I've already hit my peak.
Okay, okay, okay. That is shitty. People can be shitty. That's just life. At the end of the day, what people do is their own choice but I want to make you all aware of what it's like for me to do what I do. I mean, since I've moved across the damn country I've basically made this my profession. It's the only job I have because I want it to go somewhere, so I'm sacrificing a lot to make my art for all of you but for me as well. So it may not seem like much but even the five you throw out every day for a coffee can go a long way when it's pledged to an artist trying to make her craft happen.
Also, on the flip side of things, I have some super loyal patrons that I just love to death. You guys literally make my fucking day. You comment, you reach out, you've been consistent in your support, you really believe in what I'm doing. You know exactly who you are too but I'll say it anyways. Thank you, thank you, thank you. AJ, Jane Chesterman, Kay Riley, Stray137, Tina Tenner, Valerie Mogel, and anyone else that I may have forgotten, seriously guys, you are the absolute best.
Now one more note, I'm not saying you have to choose a side and either ditch me or shower me with roses, I just want consistent support. This doesn't mean that if you have to drop your pledge for whatever reason and then come back a few months later that I'll be shaking my fist at you. Life happens. This is totally fine. I'm saying that giving me whiplash by changing your pledge every few days isn't cool and neither is paying me for a day and then ditching me after I've given you what you want. That is not with this platform was built for.
Also, I just want more people to feel free to comment and talk. That's why I choose this platform over Lit or Wattpad in the end, there is a community here and people are trying to outreach. We're all here because of stories, right? Well, let's talk about them. I mean, that's all I really wanna do.
Comments
StoryFan
Are you able to only send someone an e-book/pdf after they've accrued a certain amount of donations? Say for each $6 they get one story, so the people who pledge higher amounts get them faster? I'm unable to pledge at the moment, but will do once my employment situation improves, and I am more than willing to wait for you to feel I've paid enough. Looking forward to your next classic!
Jess Santiago
I'm a little late commenting (chronic procrastinator, sorry!), but I wanted to let you know how much I love your stories and characters. I understand what it's like when people (or life in general) get you down, but I really appreciate all the hard work you put into everything and honestly can't wait for what comes next! You have amazing talent and don't ever forget it!!
Valerie Mogel
Kenna, we have spoken before. I tend to lurk on here as well. Mainly because I'm not a fan of speaking, or in this case writing, where a large group of people may see it. I do much better one on one. The reason I support you on here is because I believe in your talent. If you were to write a full length novel, I would gladly buy it. Speaking of that, I was wondering if you had ever heard back from TOR about your submission to them? And moved across the country? You've mentioned this before. I hope your dog has adjusted to life on my side of the country. Thank you again for sharing your gift with us. You have written some excellent characters. You put so much life into them that they have become more like friends to us as readers than figments of someone's imagination. I look forward to seeing where your talents take you. And happy to play some small part in it all.
Kay Riley
I'm so glad that my contribution helps you in pursuing your dreams and lets me see where you take your wonderful characters. It's two birds with one stone!
TDarwin
Like many, I'm a lurker, not so much of a commenter. But I'm glad your here, and glad to be a patron. I really love your writing and want to contribute to more writing and your success with it as a career. I hope you're able to build on the great foundations that you've created here and on lit. It'd be super cool to buy your stuff on Amazon as well as support you here. But I'm not a patron for shopping, or influence. I'm a patron to try to support the vision that already took you this far. Hopefully, funds willing, I'll be a patron of your vision for your work for many years to come. Thank you for being you, and doing what you do!
Shirley Rougely
SF, I'm guilty of not commenting enough either, cause I have my own problems running me ragged; it's difficult trying to find work as a Computer Technician, when you live in a going nowhere town, but hopefully my continued support will speak on my behalf, and be a much better alternative than anything I can say/type.
Cassandra Hewitt
I'm similar to SF in that I tend to lurk a lot, with literally every Patreon I've supported, even one of close friends lol. But I hella appreciate all the work you've done the fact that you even came back and put this up is just amazing to me and I will always be thankful for that and at the same time giving a way to support you more.
ghdonutshop
I'm typically more of lurker than a commenter on these sorts of things. I very much appreciate your work and was very happy when I saw you had started posting stories online again. I empathize with your dilemma of trying to make a living doing what you love, gain patrons and still deal with the ass hats that just want to get off with no regard that this is someones blood sweat and tears. I frequently find myself having similar arguments with acquaintances that want me to substantially discount my services or provide my services for free. I can't do it, I have overhead that I need to cover and the ROI or the "free advertising" that is usually offered as an incentive to me rarely pays off.
colbe19858
So long as you're here we'll be here to support you in anyway we can
AJ
Kenna, it doesn't surprise me because you ARE that good of a writer. You might not always feel like it but we do. :)
Risa M Estrada
Sooo that didn't do what I wanted it to, sorry about that. What I was trying to say was, I absolutely love your stories. Each and everyone has a wonderful plot and twist in it. I don't comment because like Colbe said I normally don't know what to say that figured you haven't heard 100 times over again. Thank you, thank you thank you for your artistry, passion, love and care that you put into your words. Once I found out about your patreon from Literotica I signed up as soon as I could and that won't change. Even if you take time in between stories, I will still be here because you're freaking amazing and I feel a connection to what you write (though I can't say i won't be biting my nails waiting for the next update lol). You are putting yourself out for other people to read and that takes courage, but you should also have pride since I honestly cant stop reading your work over and over again, they are that amazing. Sorry for rambling on obviously writing is not my strong suit but I'll do my best to comment more as I read what you post. I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you so much again.
Kelryn Colrite
Wow, I really wasn't expecting this so soon after I posted but thank you. Thank you all for supporting this silly little dream of mine. There will never be enough words to express the gratitude I have for you all, just to be given a chance to follow my dreams, and that's coming from a writer.
Jane
You are stuck with me too, and hearing what you have said saddens me to know some treat you and this wonderful setup so disrespectfully. I choose to suport you in this way as not having spare money to burn I want to spend it wisely and thoughtfully. And I enjoy immensely the feeling of being in on something that supports so direct as this.
Risa M Estrada
Hi Kenna,
AJ
I really really hate typing on a phone. As I was saying, I gave it up and in the last year or so, my wife has been pushing me to start it up but all those old fears and self doubts still haunt me so I get totally where you're coming from. With that said please know that great chapters or bad ( they've all been great by the way) I'll keep reading because you have a God given talent that is fucking phenomenal, in my opinion. Shit, I'm excited to read a chapter about a straight asshole (Trent) because your writing makes me feel like I'm right there, watching it happen. So know this, long as I got the money, I'll be here reading and escaping, if just for a moment, to a life that isn't mine. Thank you Kenna. Seriously. Thank you.
colbe19858
I just wanna say, I've been following your work since I first found Trifecta on Lit years ago and the moment you came back and started this patreon I was excited to pledge whatever I could to help. I don't comment or talk much because I'm usually unsure of what to say and just happy being able to support you in whatever way I can and I'm sure there are many quieter individuals like myself who feel the same way. That said, I wanted to take this chance to say I love your work and will always do what I can to help you keep creating it for as long as I can.
AJ
Kenna, for good or bad, you're stuck with me. Now let me tell you why.... I'm an artist, at least i used to be one years ago but I let negativity and harsh criticism from others dictate my passion and have it up
