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Chapter 287: The Big Goof-Off Stage! Come Embarrass Yourself!
🕑 Added 2025-09-12 10:25:50 +0000 UTC[IndieVibe’s Mystery Rig Is Locked and Loaded! See You Jan 1!]
[Hey, we’re Horizon Studios, been grinding races for two and a half years. Time to take on the real deal!]
[Gamer’s Pulse Wishes You a Happy New Year! Catch Us in Sweden for the New Year’s Golden Bull Challenge!]
[CSTG Heads to Sweden Jan 1. Cousin and I leading the squad. Live from the outdoors!]
[…]
One.
One.
Another one.
From top dogs like IndieVibe and Nebula Games to first-tier players like Horizon Studios, Apex Interactive, and StarWolf.
From big media like Gamer’s Pulse, Gamer’s Hearth, and Cabin Fever.
To streaming giants like Twitch, Kick, and YouTube Live.
Even top streamers like Yin, Jada Brook, and Eggplant.
And—
WAWA: Hey everyone, I’m Wawa. Stoked to commentate the Golden Bull Challenge with @ColonelGuanNoJinx. See you in Sweden on New Year’s Day.
Colonel Guan No Jinx: Hey, it’s Colonel Guan. Thrilled to call the Golden Bull Challenge for WindyPeak. @WAWA and I will be your voices on Jan 1. Catch us there.
Full manufacturers! Major studios! Media hubs! Streaming platforms! Top streamers!
Even pro casters!
Zoey Parker sat in her Seattle office, scrolling through the flood of announcements and posts, scalp tingling.
Wild.
The whole U.S. gaming industry—from big to small—was jumping into this absurd soapbox derby!
An unprecedented frenzy hit the gaming world at year’s end.
“Huh???”
“I love what the WindyPeak player said (doge)”
“So this challenge ain’t just a goofy game?”
“Mobilizing the whole industry?!”
“Gus is out here clowning IRL now!”
“No way? All the anchors and media are in?”
“Colonel Guan and Wawa? LPL turning into a soapbox league?”
“This is WindyPeak uniting the U.S. gaming scene…”
“Apex Entertainment feature means no one’s skipping.”
“New Year’s gaming party!”
“Why Sweden, tho?”
“Permit issues stateside?”
“No car mods in the U.S. (doge)”
“Can’t even tweak your bike (shock)”
“Sweden’s six hours ahead—morning start there, afternoon for us.”
“That’s cold, Zoey…”
The industry’s all-in turned this low-buzz event into a global spectacle.
Even international streams were shook.
And the real kicker?
100x on $10M—$1B rebate!
Zoey slapped her forehead, groaning. “Ugh, can’t guard against it!”
She’d been confident. Per the system, a Publicity and Marketing Project needed $10M profit growth in 7 days to break even—not total profit. Sekiro and Apex Legends were in peak sales, leaving little room for growth. A $10M bump seemed impossible.
But Gus went nuclear!
The entire U.S. gaming scene, top to bottom, got roped in.
A blanket promo for all 16 WindyPeak titles. If each netted $625K in sales, the rebate was locked.
Zoey wasn’t bragging. With this hype, $10M in 7 days was a lock.
She sighed. God’s testing me. Before Overwatch’s 1018x rebate ($10.03M loss deposit, Chapter 279), she had to eat some Ls.
Fair play. The system knew she’d cash out huge on Overwatch. This was prep for the big win.
Zoey nodded, exhaling. “Alright, then—”
“Ladies and gentlemen!”
“I declare the first stop of the Golden Bull Global Challenge—”
“The Sweden Soapbox Derby—”
“Officially open—!!!”
Boom—!!
Host Joe’s booming voice blasted over the speakers.
New Year’s Day, Seventh Avenue in Kaskluna, Sweden, was packed. The Baroque “Crown Pearl City” by the Baltic Sea had a 1-km stretch of road cordoned off. Hay bales lined the track, sidewalks jammed with thousands of spectators.
Applause, screams, whistles stretched a kilometer.
As Joe’s hype rolled, the crowd’s roar followed the track back to its start—a high ramp with a massive blue arch.
Two Asian faces—Gus Harper and Max Wheeler—grabbed scissors, cutting the red ribbon across the line!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Fireworks burst, confetti raining as Gus and Max smiled, waving to the cheering crowd.
Foreigners are wild… Gus thought, chuckling. From the ramp, thousands packed the street.
Twitch and Kick streams were a storm of comments:
“It’s lit! It’s lit!”
“Still no clue what soapbox is…”
“Like a portable grill on wheels?”
“Lmao, what a mental image.”
“Should’ve got WheelerTech’s grill guy.”
“Nah, no power allowed—just pure slide.”
“Track’s 700m+, slopes, puddles, steps.”
“Extreme Challenge vibes (doge).”
“Extreme…”
The brief opener wrapped. Gus and Max gave speeches, then sat in the VIP seats. Joe explained the rules, then boomed:
“The Golden Bull Global Challenge—Sweden Soapbox Derby—starts now—!!!”
Boom—!! Music thumped. On Twitch, U.S. casters cut in:
“Hey everyone, it’s 8:30 AM Sunday. Golden Bull Soapbox Derby kicks off. I’m Colonel Guan, your caster.”
“Hey, Wawa here.”
Whoa— Chat exploded.
“Lmao, are y’all for real?!”
“LPL turning into soapbox?!”
“Too abstract, pure stone-man shadow play vibes.”
“Gus clowning IRL now!”
“No other company could pull this off.”
“Too crude, lol…”
Colonel Guan’s voice shook, suppressing laughs: “Good… very good… it’s a dominant rig! Then… hehe…”
He muted, squatting off-camera, wiping tears. Wawa took over: “We see the staff helping our contestants into the Great Shark… Falcon Shark!”
The ramp lifted a red-clothed rig. The cloth hinted at wings. A fierce nose protruded.
Whoosh— The cloth dropped.
The crowd froze.
A chubby, top-heavy shark with big, dumb eyes stared back. A red cloth tongue flopped from its mouth, draping the front wheels like blood. Wings stuck out like gull doors, feathered like a chicken. Eagle claws gripped two small wheels below.
Five seconds of silence. Then—roars of laughter!
Chat detonated—
“Hahaha!!!”
“Whose rig is this? Huh? Who? Call the cops!”
“Huh??”
“Eagle Shark Falcon, this name’s too abstract for the car.”
“Wait, that’s a giant shark-eagle!”
“Haha…”
“Who designed this? Trying to kill me with laughs and inherit my IndieVibe X2?”
“Oh! IndieVibe! Look!”
The two pilots wore foam-board IndieVibe X2 cabins—angular, LED lines glowing.
The crowd couldn’t hold it.
“Haha…”
“I think that’s Nebula’s team, trashing IndieVibe, lol.”
“Where’d IndieVibe find this walking disaster? I’m done!”
“Haha, I’m crying.”
“Special New Year skill! The Great Shark Eagle Motion Cabin!”
“I beg you to stop, haha…”
“This is stupid! Mercy!”
“New Year’s special: Embarrass Yourself!”
“…
The casters cracked too.
“Good… very good…” Colonel Guan’s voice trembled. “It’s a majestic ride! Then… hehe…”
He muted, collapsing off-camera, tears streaming. Wawa picked up: “With staff help, our contestants finally squeezed into the Great Shark… Falcon Shark!”
Beep—
“As the ref whistles, the Crazy Shark blasts off!”
Swish— The shark-eagle shot down the slope, wings trembling like it’d fold. The red tongue flapped wildly. Those wise eyes shook, radiating pure stupidity.
Chat was a mess.
The situation spiraled.
And the next second!
The high-speed shark-eagle hit its first obstacle!
“Alright! 40 km/h start! The Crazy Shark hits the first jump!”
“Will those falcon wings send it soaring?!”
Wawa’s hype peaked.
Bang!
“Fly! Fly! Fly!” Colonel Guan’s screams overlapped. “The eagle shark’s wings are airborne!”
“But the Falcon Shark’s like a swimmer who forgot his trunks—shot out, leaving just wings flapping!”
“What a shady track—”
The casters synced: “You came here to embarrass me!!!”
Comments
Cajun sS
lol
