Fosc X
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♦ Lost Purpose ♦
🕑 Added 2024-07-21 19:32:10 +0000 UTCYou know it's a bad day when Rick actually smokes that damn cigarette and doesn't just have it around unlit like an edgy stress fidget thing :,(
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TW: addiction discussion
Rick's got a long history with alcoholism, I've talked about it a lot before. It's not exactly a path that he ever really thought he'd be taking considering he's grown up with an alcoholic father who was genuinely a disgusting human being, but when Rick found himself no longer able to cope with the reality he found himself into, alcohol became the only thing that really, at least for a moment, made him care less about it all.
The most significant reason it was so difficult for him to stop, I'd say, was the whole insomnia thing. He's been struggling with sleep because of his childhood since he was a child and knocking himself out just became the easiest way to make sure he'd be dead gone for at least a single night. Even with his life being the way it was, I believe he'd have a much easier time quitting had it not been for the nights that just lasted for way too long. He did eventually go sober, thankfully. He was sober on and off a couple of times actually, which definitely made his final withdrawal a hellish enough of an experience that he never touched a drop of anything that isn't water again.
One of the things I wanted to explore in this story and one of the things I deeply care about is the position of a functioning addict, and an addict that isn't necessarily violent because of their addiction. It's a type of struggle that left Rick kind of isolated in his issue. Of course he had his family and yes they made it really obvious he needed to get help, but for the majority of his life, people around him weren't aware of his struggles. They were really only aware of it when it became a loud, when it interrupted their lives, but after Rick first "went sober" during the ending of The Kostrov Traces II, no one really knew that he just... never actually quit entirely
He was still drinking, he was very much still an addict, but because he began hiding it better, because he was a sweet, sweet man who loved deeply and never was violent toward his family, because he still did his job and acted proper during daytime, it's almost like it didn't matter that he was still so entirely shattered deep inside. It didn't matter because the only person suffering because of it was him, and his safety and his happiness didn't matter to him.
It wouldn't be before he accepted that he will never be able to heal entirely if he only ever does it for someone else that he actually started getting better. It also took FJ a bit before he realized addiction and mental health struggles don't only matter when they're loud and terrifying. They can be silent, and most of the time they are, which helped him not only understand Rick better, but also his own struggles from time to time
Comments
Fosc X
THANK YOU SO MUCH BROO AAA ❤️❤️❤️ i'm really glad you think so!! I'm so happy how this one turned out and it was so fun to kind of experiment a little ❤️🔥 i'm sooo so glad you like it aah that means the world 🥹🫶 BUT UGH YES these boys always have so much angst to spread around, but i love them dearly 😭❤️🔥 THE CIGARETTE YESS i'm glad you noticed that!! FJ knows about his stress smoking so he never lets that slide when he's there to stop it 💔 And absoluutely, his past was really the entire reason he drank at all, and it really was such a harmful thing for his mental health. It was just such a vicious cycle that was genuinely so hard to break once he got far too deep into it💔 THANK YOU SMM AAHH I CAN'T ❤️🔥❤️🔥 they both really need that hugg ahh 😩💔
Fosc X
THAANK YOU omg!! I'm so beyond glad you think so! 🥹❤️ i've been wanting my art to have this kind of painterly feel to it for so long and never managed to figure out how to do it, but here it kind of worked out! Goosh but THANK YOU SMM seriously, I'm so glad you think so highly of it ❤️❤️ it means the world!! And i totally agree 💔 i feel like a lot of his issues were made massively more confusing and scary because he was in active addiction. He didn't believe he had the clarity to know reality from his fears anyway and just gave up on himself, when in truth it only worsened his condition in a pretty vicious cycle. And you're so right! A bunch of the health issues he had in life got a lot worse because of the alcoholism, but thankfully, in a really ugly sort of way, the fact that he had those issues was really the kick he needed to fully throw himself out of that type of a life ♡ AND YES!! i'm so glad you understand you took a note of that! Alcoholism especially is pretty much always depicted as violent and abusive, and while it absolutely is and can be often times, I feel there is a lot of silence when it comes to the addicts who just aren't abusive because of it. I also feel families of addicts like that often get overlooked as well because the addicts who aren't loud and abusive aren't necessarily seen as people who can cause any harm, when having a loving parent who struggles with these types of issues can often affect the kids a lot. Mental health is even worse and quite often goes entirely dismissed unless it's explosive and loud, which it quite often isn't. It can be, and it can become that way if left undealt with for too long, but there is a lot of unfair stigma that people who struggle silently just aren't struggling enough to be worthy of help and guidance. So i absolutely agree with you and i love that there are people who share this opinion ❤️ HAHA NOO you're good!! I just went on a rambling spree too so bear with me 🤣❤️ but thank you sm, i'm really happy you enjoyed it, and I wish you a gorgeous week as well!
FiishFinity
Oh my FFFF. This ILLUSTRATION is insane!!! Absolutely beautiful and breathtaking! Oh my goodness. The little bits of colour everywhere. The darkness of it all also, always, brooooo, this is my jam. lol the vibe I LIVE for. I love the angst sadness, and hurt so bad for Rick. Like goodness!! My soul. Him actually having a lot cigarette, but then FJ taking it away, I CANNOT EVEN. And the discussion on the substance abuse, I so know that is such a troubling thing for him because of his past. Bro. Ugh such a poison alcohol can be, but the temp healing poison. Mental health, it is the absolute slippery slope for all this mess and it goes unnoticed until it’s too late. I’m just beyond in love with this illustration. I just want to reach in there and give them both a big hug. 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
Plumeria Blossom
This new style of illustration is absolutely gorgeous omgg 🥹💖💕 The way the light bounces off everything in such a seamless and realistic way has me stunned every time! And how you can use only two main colours and have so much depth in an artwork is truly something else. I can only dream of having a skill level anywhere close to yours 💞 But ahh… poor Rick :( That’s a horrible thing to have to go through on top of everything else in his life falling apart 🥲 Not to mention that alcoholism can lead to an endless list of problems further down the road. But it makes me so so glad that he got sober after everything, that’s an outcome he worked hard for and that he deserved! And I really like what you said about addictions and mental struggles and how they can be overlooked if they aren’t loud or terrifying, or causing trouble to those around the person who is affected by those struggles. Individuals with mental disorders and addictions are often depicted in the media as acting violent or intimidating others, but a lot of the time, it’s the complete opposite. Uhh, anyway, I think I’m rambling too much? Haha 😭 If you couldn’t tell already, I thoroughly enjoyed this post, both the art and the description! I hope you have a great week ahead ♡
