bor902
patreon
Rattata Chapter 54: Pokemon Noir
🕑 Added 2025-03-26 03:00:08 +0000 UTCAN: Wanted to bring this one for april’s fools so I tried my hand at comedy, didn’t work out schedule wise so it comes 6 days earlier.
-/-
Joey sighed as he recalled the passed-out Misdreavus.
On the other side of the impromptu battlefield, David recalled his own knocked-out Pokemon, his Wartortle.
The boy angrily closed down the Pokenav that had just finished recording the results of the battle and almost looked like he would shout something before he simply shook his head, turned around and walked off.
“What a sore loser,” Joey muttered to himself. “He obviously hasn’t entered the Lose-Core Theta Grindset.” Personally, he refused to call the thing a draw. Drawing against someone with twice as many badges as you was basically a win.
The battling registration system agreed as it had been Joey who was the beneficiary of a bunch of Pokedollars after the battle had ended.
It turned out that if the badges were uneven, the one with more had to pay. Crazy that.
“Alright, team!” Joey shouted to get the attention of his team, who had all stopped training and were curiously looking at him. “It’s time to head out and go back to Pallet. Great work out here,” he said. Considering the risks involved in travelling in this world, it was always possible to be waylaid by a flock of angry Spearow, but it was better to leave one day early if he had an appointment to keep. His hand went to his Pokebelt.
Rattata chittered proudly and kissed his biceps as he was recalled, while Diglett blushed the same colour as the beam of red that dematerialised him. Metapod simply opted for spitting out one last load of poison to sizzle away at the floor.
Joey clipped the Pokeballs to his belt, keeping out Misdreavus’ Pokeball to look at curiously. He didn’t have to pack his campsite, having already done everything in the morning, first thing upon waking up.
He started walking as he threw Misdreavus’ Pokeball up and down, up and down.
Her progress recently had been staggering. In many ways, Misdreavus was an old Pokemon who simply needed a bit of nudging to unveil her entire potential rather than first having to grow into it, as was the case with most of his team whom he’d caught when they were still relatively young.
At the moment, well. A few more weeks and he wasn’t too sure if Rattata would be able to beat her.
It would be a much more even match if his starter knew Sleep Talk and Shadow Ball, but knowing mostly normal and fighting-type moves, a good counter did not make.
Joey had just seen how potentially overpowered a Hypnosis and Dream Eater spam could be against an unprepared opponent. Sure, an enemy Pokemon gained a short-term resistance to the sleep effect after being hypnotised, but already being able to put someone to sleep once and then healing through it was a bit overpowered, especially when one had a fairly decent moveset on top of that.
But focusing so much on Misdreavus… All of his Pokemon had made tremendous progress. And to think that he would have to wait another three months to challenge his fifth gym. He was fairly certain that he could go against Flint in a month if he had to. The egg he’d sto- rightfully acquired was stressing him out a little bit. He didn’t want it to hatch before he got his fifth badge.
“Dems da deets,” Joey muttered to himself, undoubtedly offending at least one person with the pronunciation.
He was looking forward to the conference. There would probably be some interesting tactics he could stea- take note of.
-/-
“Please, please, please, please, please,” Ash Ketchum begged ad infinitum like a crack addict low on crack talking to a person with a lot of crack.
The amused Professor Oak simply continued shaking his head from where he stood next to a large and old Alakazam in front of his laboratory building.
The man had more patience for children than Joey did. The youngster had been suppressing the urge to kick away the annoying five-year-old for a few minutes already.
“Sorry about this,” the boy’s mother said, throwing the professor an apologetic look. “When he heard you’d leave to commentate on the conference today, he basically ran out of the door before I could stop him.” She turned to her son. “Come on Ash, let’s go to kindergarten, and you can watch the conference from there. I know all the other kids have been looking forward to it as well. Don’t you want to watch it with your friends?” she asked.
Ash demonstratively turned away while wiping away a large booger with the front of his t-shirt.
If anyone had thought in his previous world that Ash acted like a particularly, not just normally, annoying ten-year-old, then Joey could now confirm that that situation had already been much improved in comparison to earlier.
“I think Gary would want to watch with you. He’s also staying here,” the professor said kindly. David, who was standing next to him and irritably shifting his feet, grunted in what seemed to be agreement.
Ash scrunched up his face. “He just wants to show off. Name all the Pokemon and their types,” he said.
“Oh no, knowing about type advantages, the horror,” Joey muttered to himself, getting an amused look from the Alakazam spacing out next to him.
“Anyway, professor, sorry to disturb you,” Delia said before turning to Ash and taking him by the arm. “Come on, Ash, we really have to get going now,” she said before simply dragging the reluctant and flailing child away.
Joey glanced to the side and caught Oak looking at the woman behind, which was rather prominent in a pair of tight jeans.
The professor looked to the side and saw Joey watching him. He looked embarrassed to have been caught.
Joey, meanwhile, had simply confirmed a theory.
‘Oh yes, mentally challenged ten-year-old, take this dangerous electric rat and go out into the forest for a year. I’ll stay here and focus on my research. You’ll miss your mother? Don’t worry, my boy, I’ll take care of her for the both of us, hu hu.’
“Destiny, my ass,” Joey muttered quietly.
Professor Oak clapped his hands and coughed awkwardly. “Alright, kids, let’s get going then,” he announced happily, bending down to pick up his large brown suitcase, which he would be living in for the next few days. Although, with an Alakazam as powerful as his, couldn’t he just port back every evening?
Well, Joey admitted, that would ruin the joy of travelling, wouldn’t it? Never actually staying in the place you’d reached.
He sucked in his ghost energy like an instagram obsessed modernite making a picture for while Alakazam crossed its arms. A blue glow surrounded the forms of the people being taken along. Oak, David and Joey.
A second later, without a sound, without a shift in balance, they were in an alleyway in front of a crowded street.
Joey held up a hand in an ok sign. “Skill,” he said simply, causing the psychic to once again amusedly twitch its moustache, then Oak recalled his Pokemon and turned to the two kids.
“Well, here we are!” he announced happily as if that fact wasn’t already quite obvious. “You’ll have to go register with your badges, David,” the professor continued, turning to his sponsored trainer.
David, for once, seemed to take the stick out of his ass and happily nodded at the older man. “I’ll go now, professor, the pokecenter has rooms for participants,” he said, before triumphantly looking at Joey as if that actually meant anything. Then he smirked, turned around and left the alleyway they’d appeared in to disappear in the crowd.
“That kid needs to learn some social skills,” Joey said once he was sure that the dweeb was well and truly gone.
The comment caused Oak to sputter and throw him a baffled look. “He’s a good trainer with a bright mind,” he said, seemingly defending his pick, and then he cringed. “He can come over as a bit abrasive, though, I’m not as oblivious as people think.”
Joey threw the professor a queer look. “Why would literally anyone think you’re oblivious?” he asked confusedly. “You’re one of the most influential people in the world and have achieved the pinnacle of success in two separate highly competitive fields.”
Oak blinked before bringing up a hand to rub at his chin. “Good question,” he eventually decided. “Maybe because I’m old?” he wondered.
“People who were smart when they were young will also be smart when they’re old, same with being dumb,” Joey said dismissively. “Thanks for taking me here, I have to get going now. I’m looking forward to hearing your commentary,” he said and started walking towards the exit of the alley.
“You know where to go?” Oak shouted after him, causing Joey to throw a thumbs-up over his shoulder.
“Take care professor!” he shouted as he too disappeared into the crowd.
The air was crisp, and they had, after all, teleported to a much higher sea level than they had been previously, but, well, the place was completely packed. Joey had to basically force his way through excited brightly dressed trainers, visitors and hawkers on his way to the hotel the Poketech institute would be staying at.
The Indigo conference was a culmination of a year of hype and was the most watched, most attended event in the season. Tension had been building with highlights and clips of different gyms being taken down by young up-and-coming or old and powerful trainers as they sought to get the requisite badges to compete for the right to be named the best up-and-coming trainer of the year and challenge the Elite Four. There had been talk shows, analyses, forum threads, and news reports covering the battles and trainers. Odds had been drawn, speculations made, honours staked.
The atmosphere was electric.
After a few more minutes, Joey finally reached Hotel ‘Grand’, which the principal had told him about and entered the rather instantaneous lobby. His newly upgraded drip meant that the hotel clerk at the high wooden front desk didn’t sneer at him as he approached.
It looked like the type of hotel where a clerk would sneer at you if you weren’t dressed well enough; it had high ceilings and random marble statues depicting scenes from mythology—the mythical birds of Kanto, Lugia, Arceus, the Unifier. There were paintings of former champions and politicians. All that sort of thing. The place smelled of moral decay and up-tightness.
“What can I do for you, young man?” the older man behind the desk asked kindly.
“Can I ring the bell before we get into that?” Joey asked suddenly, looking at the bronze service bell on the desk. It was shining, and someone was polishing that thing.
The clerk’s smile strained a bit. “Go ahead.”
Joey extended a hand and smashed a palm down on the bell, enjoying the jingle it gave at the contact.
“Now, what can I-?” the clerk started again before Joey interrupted him.
“The name’s Joestar, Joey Joestar. I come from a long family line of con men and thieves of the highest order. Art, historical monuments, jewelry, elections… You name it, we stole it,” Joey started darkly at the man’s baffled look. He then pointed a thumb at himself, stabbing himself in the chest. “It’s because of this that I know the tricks of the trade. I can smell a thief from a mile off, evaluate the legitimacy of an art piece at a glance, and tell if someone’s lying by the reflection in their eyes. I know exactly how to catch a criminal, and I don’t stop until I do, or you get your money back.”
The clerk: “...”
“You see, it all started on the day I was born,” Joey continued melancholically, igniting a fake cigarette in his mouth by cupping his hand to protect a fake lighter from the fake wind. He took a deep drag, then removed the imaginary cigarette to blow out the smoke. “My own mother failed to show up. Can you imagine?” he asked rhetorically.
“Sir, I don’t see-.”
“This left me at the mercy of my father, a man who graduated from the school of hard knocks and harder fists. It was a hard life, yes, but when I was finally able to leave home, I knew that it was these people, so sure of their superiority, that I had to chase to the ends of this flat Earth. Rid the world of their filth. I opened a private detective agency, and before I knew it I was approached by a woman who was more legs than torso and had hair the colour of a crypto-wallet filled to the brim with spaghetti code. She told me about her fiance, who took everything and disappeared one day. I recognised the scam he’d pulled on her. A suave aspiring artist manipulating the heiress of a rich company like her dad’s, who was the CEO of /Insert company here/. It smelled like something one of my cousins would have pulled. The whole family is blessed with good looks, but they don’t use it for good,” he took off his cap to toss his hair wildly. “As she sat there teary-eyed in my office, knees reaching to the ceiling, begging me to take the case pro-bono because she’d already spent her weekly allowance on designer fart pillows, I knew she needed help only I could provide…”
“Jonathan, is that you?” an older male voice suddenly asked from behind Joey, causing the youngster to turn around and see that while he’d been distracted the principal of Poketech and a small gaggle of students had entered the pretentiously decorated lobby.
The youngster turned back to the clerk, who was looking at him with one of those looks deer gave the headlights of a car before their entrails ended up splattered on the streets. Joey gave a fake smile.
“Congratulations! You’ve passed our company customer service testing review, your employer will be notified of your excellent service character at the soonest opportunity.”
The clerk could only give a confused smile, looking left and right as if unsure if he was in a dream or not.
Joey ignored the man, slipped one of the bigger banknotes in his wallet on the desk and turned to the principal.
“What’s up, teach?” he asked. “I came here looking for you.”
The principal chortled happily, holding his belly. He was wearing mustard chinos and a wine-red woollen vest over a green shirt. A true connoisseur of fashion.
“Well, you found me,” the man said before frowning. “For all that I should wring your neck for taking me out on the negotiating table,” he muttered darkly.
“If you try to spit the fire, you have to handle the heat,” Joey replied humorously, at which the principal brightened again.
He stepped to the side to better showcase the kids behind him. “Here are our students, each one the best in their year,” he said proudly and started introducing them from youngest to oldest. The names were all something along the line of ‘Lysander Edmund Odysseus,’ ‘Octavian Balthazar Percival,’ and ‘Regina Wolf Lord Blood Queen Titan Slayer God Deus Ex Machina Ravensburg,’ “and of course you know Giselle,” the principal finished with a booming laugh clapping a hand on the shoulder of a fuming green-haired girl who Joey didn’t know.
He stared blankly at her at the introduction, then looked to the principal. “Yes, I have met this person before,” he said sauvely. “Anyway, where’s my ticket?”
The principal pulled a small stack of plastic cards hanging off lanyards from his pocket before slowly counting them out and was interrupted just as he was about to hand one of them over to Joey.
“What’s he doing here?” the girl complained loudly. “I thought he was hired help.” Her voice was very annoying, like a combination of the screeching of a car being driven by a teenager on Adderall and a foghorn.
“Now, now,” the principal said consolingly, gently lowering his hands as if trying to affect the volume of the conversation by sliding down some button in a studio only he could see. It seemed to work, actually as the girl quietened and simply glared at Joey with her mouth closed. “Jonathan is to be one of our sponsored trainers next year and will be your classmate this winter. Isn’t that wonderful?” he asked happily before finally extending a hand and giving Joey his ticket.
Giselle made a face as if that was not indeed wonderful.
“I’m looking forward to studying with you,” he said robotically as he looked at the plastic card with the words full access written on it. “As we say where I come from, Nous ne pouvons pas vous aider actuellement en matière de traduction, veuillez réessayer plus tard.”
“Thanks, Mr. Principal, sir,” he then said turning to his sponsor and gave a sloppy salute. “I am honoured to be participating in this group activity.”
“Well, I’m curious to hear your opinion on the battles starting this evening with the exhibition match, Bruno against Blaine, now that should be a show to watch!” the man said enthusiastically.
It seemed that under all of that horrible fashion sense and misguided methodology was a man who really enjoyed battling. Joey could appreciate a man of culture, so he nodded. “I will provide commentary services of the highest order,” he said with a puffed up chest.
“What could he possibly know about-” Giselle started again before being interrupted by a voice behind Joey.
“Joey, is that you?” a female voice said from behind him, tapping him on the shoulder.
The youngster turned around and his eyes genuinely brightened as he saw the purple hair pulled in a high ponytail and the black leggings and light red jacket combo.
“Michelle!” he exclaimed. Michelle had been one of the first high-stakes battles of his career back before he’d even gotten his first badge. She’d been the one to point him in the direction of Detect for Rattata, which was a path that had paid off immensely right now.
“It’s me,” the ace trainer said with a small smile while pointing at herself with two pointer fingers. She looked, if anything, a bit nervous. She threw a look at the lobby of the hotel, her purple ponytail whipping before she frowned. “I had my room taken care of by the League, but it's a stark contrast coming back and staying at a hotel when I was slumming it at the Pokecenter with everyone else last time,” she eventually said.
Joey shrugged. “The pitfalls of success, you have to breathe in the moral decay occasionally,” he joked before a loud female voice suddenly erupted from behind him.
“Wait-!” Giselle shrieked briefly. “You’re Michelle, and you won the silver conference two years ago. We studied your battle in class,” she said excitedly.
Michelle looked wide-eyed at the young green-eyed schoolgirl suddenly rushing up to her with stars in her eyes. She awkwardly took a pen from a pocket in her jacket and signed her name on Giselle’s forehead.
Giselle for her part, looked dumbstruck and just froze.
The principal stepped forward and coughed into his fist. “Now, Giselle, don’t bother other people just because you’re excited to meet them,” he chastised gently before taking the girl by the shoulder and leading her away with the rest of her group.
“Sorry,” Michelle said awkwardly. “I don’t know how to deal with fans. After this, I might just go live in a canyon. Nobody knew me in Hoenn,” she complained.
“Well, that would certainly be a choice and a half. No retirement to a nice, cozy village somewhere? Two and a half kids and a litter of Meowth?” Joey joked.
Michelle pulled a face. “Please, no, I can’t handle children. Give me a raging Nidoking any day of the week.” She waved a hand in the air. “To change the subject, I saw your battle in the youngster finals. It was some serious stuff. Rattata and Kadabra for the last match, it was almost something you could see at the lower levels of a conference,” she praised. “I saw the Detect is still coming in handy.”
“What can I say,” Joey started with a shrug. “I had good advice along the way. Conference, well, it's going to be another year for me.”
“Four badges is a breeze if you have the whole season,” the ace-trainer agreed. “Anyway, I have to go check in and prepare the squad. My battle is in two days,” she said tensely.
“We’ll see tomorrow morning who it's against. Bruno Blaine opening match,” Joey shot back.
Michelle’s face darkened. “Don’t remind me,” she cursed. “Halfway through my preparation, they threw that at me. I was in Hoenn and also trained against the fire-type gym leader there, but it's now half a year of prep down the drain either way, depending on who I get.”
“Couldn’t you reschedule?” Joey asked curiously.
Michelle shook her head. “I have a life that doesn’t consist of preparing for the Elite Four. The possibility of beating them, well, there’s a whole lot of career options open even without doing so. Lance doing what he did, well, it was a bit disheartening.”
“You won’t get far without thinking you can win,” Joey warned.
Michelle threw him an indecipherable look before curtly nodding. “I’d battle you to see how far you’ve come,” she said. “But it will have to wait. See you tomorrow, I got a plus one to the VIP lounge if you want to come by. All my friends are in other regions still trying to win conferences.” Then she left towards the front desk to check-in.
“Bruno will win!” Joey shouted after her, getting a thumbs up in return and a few stink eyes from the other people who were probably Blaine fans.
“Tough luck,” Joey muttered to himself as he went to exit the hotel, his lanyard access card in hand.
Preparing for Bruno only to get Blaine. Michelle really had been dealt a rotten hand. Lance had somehow squeezed by to not battle the fire-type master if Bruno won, skipping straight to Agatha. Not all challenges were created equal. Lance was technically already part of the Elite Four, and his position solidified to be above Bruno at the minimum. Michelle was just challenging for the clout, so to say, and whichever Elite Four she faced would only be able to use five Pokemon while she could use all six.
He whistled softly to himself after he exited the hotel, passing an old lady dressed in purple and leaning on a wooden walking stick without really noticing it despite the intense look she was throwing at him. He re-emerged into the bright, if cold, day.
“Time to find a camping spot,” he said to himself, going towards the stretch of forest that he could see. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow’s opening match.
Comments
bor902
No actually I think, Michelle was supposed to get Bruno, but if he wins this match she gets blaine
bor902
I made it!
Kelevra
Id assume he would approve as the institute basically makes it safer for young people to start their journey in a safe environment
jonah suer
Hey Bor, you wrote "Preparing for Bruno only to get Blaine." Shouldn't it be the other way round?
Green0Photon
Also, Chekhov's Agatha
Green0Photon
Joey and Michelle here really giving some Harry and Tonks energy. I can't remember, but does Oak even know or would approve of the school sponsorship? Maybe? I gotta reread those sections, now that we get into it. Pretty interesting too how he's basically reserved this spot for himself apart from the other baby trainers of the same age. Casually talking with an Ace trainer and steamrolling the Principal. And the Principal being happy for it. Amusing monologue, idk where it's from. Impressive if you just made it up on the spot.
