CelestialShadow
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Chapter 182 - Hopeless
🕑 Added 2025-02-28 18:04:56 +0000 UTC“Guess, I don’t need to step in,” Narvar said with a smile as Adion pulled out his sword from a Sand Badger.
“It was just a low Silver, it's not difficult,” Adion said with a shrug. He had to admit that it felt nice to fight, even if it was over quickly. He felt that this was much more preferable to his previous lonesome practice down below ground.
“Still, it’s quite impressive,” Narvar said, stepping up to take a closer look at the dead beast, “A Sand Badger, huh. It’s rare to see one of those this far east. I guess I’ll have to keep an eye out going forward.
“It’s my fault, I should have kept my senses up,” Adion said, scolding himself inside. They hadn’t encountered any beasts since they started their journey a few days ago, so he hadn’t been very alert.
If it was a stronger beast, things could have ended badly. I’ve been careless.
“You just focus on conjuring wind for the senba, I’ll be on the lookout from now on,” Adion said with a serious expression.
“Hm, alright,” Narvar nodded with a slight smile.
“Did the senba get damaged?” Adion asked, looking back to the wooden ship. The Sand Badger, a beast the size of a horse with tough, sharp, sand-coloured fur, had been hiding in the sand. As the senba had passed, the Sand Badger had popped out and attacked.
It was lucky that the Sand Badger was a beast, and therefore not very strong when it came to utilizing sand magic yet. Otherwise, a surprise attack like that would probably have completely destroyed the senba.
Narvar walked back to the senba and checked it for any damages.
“Nothing serious, at least,” Narvar said, “I’ll do a proper check once we get to Heshuwara.”
“Good,” Adion nodded.
Heshuwara was a small town that they were currently headed to. Travelling through the desert in this kind of heat was pretty exhausting. So, Narvar had mapped out a few pitstops on their way to Valis so they could rest.
“If you are feeling fine, we can be on our way,” Narvar said.
“I feel fine,” Adion said.
“Good,” Narvar said, and the two jumped back on the senba. It wasn’t worth the effort to carry along the body of the Sand Bagder, Narvar had it tough as it is. As long as they had enough food left, the bodies of beasts were only good for selling and earning a little money. But Narvar and Adion didn’t need a few extra silver coins.
“You should drink a little, it's vital to remain hydrated in this heat,” Narvar said as he grabbed a water bottle for himself and started drinking.
“Right,” Adion said. He grabbed a bottle of Persmytha tea for himself. It helped quench his thirst alright, and Narvar had told him it had nourishing effects, potentially helping him with his memory loss.
It sure is calming.
Adion felt his slightly agitated mind calm down, and he sat down by the rudder, relaxed.
“Let’s go,” Narvar said, starting to conjure his winds.
A couple of hours passed, and Adion was focused the entire time, on the lookout for any strange auras around. Fortunately, nothing unexpected happened.
It should be very rare to stumble upon a Silver beast. But if we are to travel for weeks, I’m sure we will stumble upon at least a few beasts, so I need to be prepared.
Narvar had told him that there would be more beasts as they got closer to the center of the desert. Even if they were going to steer clear of the dead center, aiming north to Reshu, they could still expect more encounters with beasts as time went along.
“There we have it!” Narvar called out, and Adion noticed the senba slowing down.
“Is that Heshuwara?” Adion asked as he spotted the small settlement further ahead. “This can be called a town?”
“Hehe,” Narvar chuckled, “I’ve never been here, so I’m not certain just how big it is. But most towns in the Saba Desert are centered around rocky terrains, where most of the structures of the town are hidden below ground or inside mountains. I would guess that is the case here.”
When he heard Narvar’s words, Adion noticed that there indeed seemed to be a small cliff behind the town walls ahead. Adion thought he could spot people moving up and down the cliffside.
Interesting.
The town wall looked to be made out of compressed sand, only about ten feet high. It didn’t look like it could offer much protection. There wasn’t even a city gate. A wide gap, enough for two senbas to pass through, was placed in the middle of the wall.
“How does this work?” Adion asked, “Do we just go on right through? Or should I steer us to the side?”
“It’s fine to enter directly, I’ll slow us down,” Narvar instructed.
“Alright,” Adion nodded and kept the senba on course.
As they arrived at the wall, Adion spotted two guards on either side of the opening. He instinctively controlled his aura, hiding his strength so he appeared as a peak Bronze mage.
Wait…why did I hide my strength?
“Do we need to hide our strength?” Adion asked.
“Why would we do that?” Narvar asked, confused.
“I…I guess it seems safer? Hiding your strength so people underestimate you,” Adion said.
“I suppose,” Narvar said slowly, “But this is just a small town. I would be surprised if there were more than a couple of Silver mages in charge. With our strength, it's better to show it as a deterrent. We are just passing through, it would be best if no one caused us any trouble.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Adion said.
“Gold mage,” One of the guards said as he came forward and bowed, “Can I offer any assistance?”
I guess we really are a lot stronger. This is new.
The senba slowed down to a halt, and Narvar smiled down at the guard. “Is there a suitable place to rest and eat for the day?”
Suddenly Adion noticed that they were speaking Shiorin. Without Narvar’s shaky pronunciation, Adion wouldn’t have noticed.
“We also need a safe place for the senba,” Adion said.
Hm? Why can I speak Shiorin so well?
“Of course. If you would follow me,” The guard said.
Narvar gently pushed the senba forward as the guard led the way. Adion had been looking forward to visiting a town after so long, but his mind was elsewhere at the moment.
I guess, it’s normal to speak Shiorin.
But Narvar seems to struggle a bit, despite seemingly having experience in the Sawa Desert.
Right, didn’t my mom teach me? Was she…Sawamin?
Adion looked at the low sand-coloured buildings, the people on the street who stopped to stare at them, with empty eyes.
Did I really forget? How can I forget?
Adion had known his memory was affected, but he had thought that it was mainly his short-term memory he was having problems with. But as he tried to think about his past, he realized it was incredibly vague.
It wasn’t like this just a week ago. I’m sure of it.
Adion knew he had set off eagerly, wanting to return to his family. But at the moment, he couldn’t really understand why.
My grandpa should be there…right? And…
Adion couldn’t really picture it. When he thought about going ‘home,’ there wasn’t much in his memory to tell him what that was.
What am I even going back for?
Adion felt lost. When he thought about his current circumstances, he actually preferred to just continue traveling and exploring with Narvar, rather than return somewhere he didn’t even remember.
But he knew this wasn’t right. He had clearly wanted to return. There had to have been a reason.
But will this get worse and worse? I didn’t even notice how much I’d forgotten until just now. Will I continue to forget? Will I even forget wanting to remember?
What will be left of me?
“Adion, are you alright?” Narvar asked with a concerned face. Adion noticed that the senba had come to a stop at some point.
“Narvar, I…I don’t remember anything,” Adion said with a shaky voice.
“It’s…it’s alright boy,” Narvar said with a sad smile, “You’re tired. Let’s go inside and get you something to eat. You can tell me everything that’s bothering you.”
“Okay,” Adion nodded absentmindedly and followed Narvar inside the building without caring much about where they were.
The building wasn’t very impressive at first glance, not standing out particularly among the other houses around. But once they went down a floor, it turned out to be quite a grand and luxurious household.
“The town chief allowed us to stay in one of his villas for the night,” Narvar explained, “They should already have some food prepared.”
They soon reached a dining hall filled with different delicacies, Adion couldn’t help but take a second look at all the options.
How did they manage to get all these kinds of food in the middle of the Desert?
“Impressive,” Narvar said with a wry smile, “I guess I’ll have to give them a few coins when we leave.”
Adion and Narvar sat down and started eating. Adion noticed how Narvar threw him glances throughout the meal, seemingly hesitant to speak.
Adion couldn’t help but feel hopeless. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, or how he could stop it. His mind didn’t seem agile enough to deal with whatever was happening.
Why am I not panicking more? Shouldn’t I do something?
But what?
Adion felt like he didn’t recognize himself anymore. He knew he was supposed to do something, he knew it wasn’t normal to act like this. But for the life of him, he didn’t seem to be able to muster a response.
“Narvar,” Adion said with a sigh, “I don’t understand what’s going on.”
Even if I’m confused, this can’t go on. I need to find the willpower to do something. To remember.
“Is it your memory? How is it?” Narvar asked, concerned.
“I suddenly realized I don’t really remember my family,” Adion said, looking up at the ceiling.
“It’s gotten worse?” Narvar asked carefully.
“A lot worse. But the worst part is that I don’t seem to be able to find a way out of it. I can’t recognize myself anymore. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t act like this, I should be doing something. I can feel it. But I don’t have anything in me to hold onto. Something is slowly slipping away,” Adion said with a hopeless smile, “I think this might be the last time I remember. I’ll forget that I’m supposed to be someone else.”
“Well,” Narvar said in a hoarse voice, seemingly agitated, “Don’t say that for certain. You’ll surely get better.”
“I think it might be too late,” Adion said, his eyes dull. He tried to remember who he was. There was a vague impression in his mind, but it was impossible to grasp.
“Adion,” Narvar mumbled, with a heartbroken look on his face.
The two were quiet for a while, Adion staring up at the ceiling trying to gather his distant thoughts, and Narvar looking at Adion.
Adion didn’t know how much time passed, but he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Adion,” Narvar said with a gentle smile, “You should rest.”
“Alright,” Adion said with a sigh.
“Drink some water first,” Narvar said, handing Adion a cup of water, “You’ve been out in the sun all morning.”
Adion didn’t resist and started drinking.
I guess I was a little thirsty.
“Do you have any Persmytha tea? Do they have ice?” Adion asked, he wanted to soothe his mind. He wanted to rid himself of this nagging, awful feeling.
“I’m afraid not,” Narvar said, “Maybe tomorrow.”
“Haaah,” Adion sighed, “I guess I'll go rest.”
Adion got up from his seat and looked around. A servant stepped up and offered to show him to his room.
Just as Adion was about to leave the dining hall, Narvar called out, “Adion. Don’t be too sad. It will get better. I promise.”
“Thanks,” Adion said with a tired smile.
His room wasn’t far away. It wasn’t very big, and felt a little dusty, but Adion wasn’t really bothered.
“Do you need anything, Silver Adion?” The man who had shown him the way asked with a slight bow.
“I’m fine,” Adion said, shaking his head. Even if it was still only afternoon, Adion felt ready to sleep.
“We can arrange a bath,” The man offered, “Or perhaps at least change your bandage.”
When was the last time I took a bath?
Can’t remember.
“It’s fine,” Adion said, looking down on his arm.
I’d forgotten about that. I should be healed by now, right?
The servant excused himself and left Adion alone.
Adion slowly untangled his bandaged arm, feeling he should take a look to see that it healed properly.
This.
Adion felt an explosion go off in his mind.
There was no ordinary wound on his arm. He could immediately see what the narrow ridges of nearly healed cuts spelled out.
‘Find Sell. Kill Narvar’
Comments
Thorngrim Steelfist
Mind altering sections are bad. Prison sections are bad. This needs to end soon, the loss of agency can kill stories. This story is too good to die such a death.
WiseBison
Yep! 5 times a week, Mon-Fri
Evan
Was it 5 times a week before the hiatus?
Kbzzy
Author what is the upload schedule?
Evan
Yes! Adion engraved some words in his arms. This is often the action of people who is experiencing memory loss. Engrave important words to where they can find it easily. I knew, Adion wouldnt be dumb enough to not prepare extra measures when he is knew he is suffering from memory loss.
