civvie11
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GREASE ON FILM
🕑 Added 2025-01-17 15:23:19 +0000 UTCOh, kids, it's been ages since we've dabbled in the lost art of the YouTube Movie Review, mostly due to the copyright bot's insistence that Fair Use is a joke and that someone could get the same experience of viewing Borderlands by watching my video. Oh, no, this thing is way less painful than watching that piece of shit.
It was even worse that I thought it would be and that's saying something.
Now that its finally been cleared for release by the copyright holders, I present a fully cracked rundown of this terrible, terrible slop.
Don't worry, after a short vacation at the end of the month, I'm going to be going right back to games. Looking at Jazz Jackrabbit and Jedi Knight 2 (finally) as the next vids. Hard at work preparing for the new year. Hope you all had a great holiday and New Year!
-Civvie
P.S. Yes, YouTube fought me on the video itself, but that one song? They licensed it to me for cheap. Fucking crazy.
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-Civvie
Comments
Fallout Zombie
Cavill's a 40K nerd if that's any consolation.
Wafflemarine
Its bad but its still not nearly as heart breaking as the Halo show. Just fills me with some dread on how the Wh 40k show with Cavil might be.
Jesse Beers
Not all suffering is just, Lord Civilian Eleven.
Stephen Ward
Ooh! Jazz Jackrabbit! I guess you played the DOS version but there is an open source recreation OpenJazz which gives you higher resolutions etc (there's a browser version here: https://openjazz.github.io/ ) The sequel was pretty decent, but has a very problematic second character in Jazz's brother Spaz. There's a open port of that too (Jazz² Resurrection) which adds a third playable character.
BDP Illustrations
This film makes me angry. Not Silent Hill Revelations 3D angry, but still
Zubaz
Thanks for taking that bullet
prozax
That Luigi is an asshole...
some patron
I coundn't even finish watching your review. The second-hand cringe overpowered me.
Sweet, Succulent Content Nectar
Thank you for suffering through that bucket of crap so the rest of us don't have to. #FreeLuigi #FreeCivvie
Scott LaPointe
Fuckin' Hostile? Fuckin' Eh
Fallout Zombie
Oh no. Okay. Let me just put on my hazmat suit and Anti Grease Patch and then I'll hit play. Looks like this was a bad week to stop sniffing glue. *EDIT* Oh my God. It was so much worse than my already low expectations were... expecting. Jesus H Randall S Christ.
Shawn Grant
Many thanks Civvie. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas holiday. I love the Ole Foghorn btw! I literally got duck eggs for Christmas, my house duck finally started laying eggs.
Aaron Stafford
Good shit. The video, obviously, not the movie. Honestly, while it may just be my bias in favor of cinematography talking, it looks like the big thing making everything look fake is the lighting. Which I guess does overlap with the effects problem, since it was transparently lit for green screen.
Citizen Cain, PhD
Pro Masterminds when, Civvie? (Some of us didn't forget...)
Liquid Pigeon
Y'know it's a little thing, but after years of jokes it's neat knowing Civvie (to some extent) does enjoy the games Oh and yeah 2s NG+ are pretty rough, you're not wrong there
Daniel Blake Jewell
Tiny Tina is horrible well that’s not much of a difference
Tripp Andre
Fish in a Barrel III
arctic vampire
Best use of a Pantera song EVER.. Great work sir.
NecroPotato
If Civvie's a content monkey this is animal abuse. Still gonna watch it though.
Corey Peoples
Oh my fucking god fucking Rocketman. I LOVED that movie as a kid. And YESSS RETURN OF THE MOVIE REVIEW!
The Anternator
Everytime i think of Eli Roth i keep remembering about DVD of Luico Fulci's The Beyond i got, he did a write up of the film and inserted a scene at the beginning to "Help it make more sense"... That film made no sense what so ever and that beginning bit Just did nothing, but made me question what was the point. Zombie Flesh Eaters is the only Fulci film that made sense and that barely made any sense,
Ophystudios
Every time I read, "Hey kids," dopamine rushes to my brain and I become a little more parasocial.
JOE MOTHERFUCKING TREEFELNER
Fuck yes
Robert K.
This was kind of a Thing back in the early computing days. Jazz had a christmas episode, Lemmings had christmas episodes, Lotus (Of 1-2-3 fame) sent out Christmas house themed greeting cards that played O Holy Night on the PC speaker, it was a fun time.
Robert K.
CliffyB would certainly rather we forget the cute bunny game exists for... some reason. Don't know what. Embrace the silly bunny game you made as a twentysomething, Cliff. It's not like we could play Sonic the Hedgehog on our dos machines back then.
Robert K.
Ohhh yeah, Jazz Jackrabbit! The game I've spent thousands more hours playing in my CD player than playing as a video game, but Alexander Brandon's music on Jazz 2 is sublime.
Silentphil9
So greasy.....
Xineombine
This is the closest I'll get to ever watching the Borderlands movie. Thank you for your sacrifice
SoupsGoodFood
Fucking Hostile in a Dept of Special Corrections production? Legendary.
htfcuddles
I cant wait for Jazz ahhhh
Bavaboi
A Civvie movie review? By Gar, it's been awhile... I can now wait in hope for a Postal movie review, one day...
fRiEnD
Oh snaaaaaaaap!!!
Adam Blunt
This is one of those movies where you have to wonder why it was released in that state.
ChickenShred
I subscribed just so I can minimize your suffering
Civvie
Nope, sorry, no Travolta musicals here. I can't even imagine that copyright nightmare.
Nivekeatspaint
The oddest thing, I watched and dl'd it on YT. VERY glad I didn't pay to see it.
Dayton Green
For some reason when I saw the notification I thought you were covering the 78 movie with John Travolta. I thought “I know Civvie is a boomer, but damn.”
Tore Schweer
for crying out loud, this movie is just terrible, even beneath Uwe Boll standards, at least his older game based movies are entertainingly bad, this is just offensive to common sense.
Civvie
Which ones? The copy I got from GoG has a million episodes, and that's not even including the sequel. I played through all of them already, including the Christmas episode, but not the second Christmas episode. They really loved Christmas over at Epic Megagames, I guess.
Civvie
AND NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO I HAVE SUFFERED FOR THIS CURSED KNOWLEDGE
Flame Soulis
Jazz Jackrabbit... And all it's chapters and side versions? Oh, that's going to be interesting
Jonathan Anderson
Excited about Jedi Outcast.
Fullmetal
Jazz Jackrabbit? I thought I was the only one who remembered that game
Chozo Ghost
Jedi Outcast video coming in the near future? LFGGGGG
FURIOUS_MASTICATION
god damnit civvie i was doing everything in my power to not watch this heaping pile
Flash Allan
neat
