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DITW 14-13: Odyssey 8
🕑 Added 2024-05-03 18:15:58 +0000 UTCSophie took turns with her mother, then wandering to the other side of the waiting area where her father sat with the woman named Quinn, and Meyer would put Sophie up on his knee. Everything going on around here overwhelmed the poor girl, who had no frame of reference for a moment like this one. Two groups of adults sitting not saying anything in an emergency room in a distant city. It had been a mistake to bring Sophie; they could have avoided this hardship. The last thing a child needed was spending somber times in a hospital, the future uncertain.
Everyone here had said Josh was going to be fine, but she hadn’t seen him yet. What if no one had the courage to tell her the truth? What if they’d shielded her from the truth because Sophie was present?
She leaned closer to Hyun. “You can take my car home if you need to. I’ll get a train later.”
“I’m staying with you,” Hyun whispered.
“I’m thinking of what’s best for Sophie.”
Hyun didn’t answer, staring straight ahead and chewing her cheek, brow furrowed with worry.
Kimmy wrung her fingers for a long moment, twisting with anxious worry and fear, before leaning to Hyun again. “I think . . . I think I’m going to go look for Karina.”
Hyun nodded, leaning forward like she would stand. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No, you stay with Sophie.” Kimmy stood and the other group’s eyes tracked her, and when she looked their way, they looked down. Her stomach sank lower, her heart going down with the ship. Sorrow creased her brow, and looming regret followed her as she walked across the waiting room, headed to the double doors where Karina had disappeared.
*
It took a long journey down hallways, left and right, through multiple sets of doors, and up escalators, before finding out there was a Tim Horton’s, and then thinking to check there for her friend.
Kimmy stood at the doorway of the huge cafeteria with a Tim Horton’s in it, looking out over all the tables, past mourning or worried visitors and gaggles of scrub-wearing staff. Karina had a good seat for two at the very back by a tall window looking out onto a small park. She picked up a tea from the Tim Hortons and made her way through all the tables to get to the window, standing about a dozen feet away before Karina looked up, sensing her there. Karina said nothing, her face somber, eyes tinged in pink. It hit her again that maybe there were truths no one had told her yet, that maybe everything wasn’t so fine and dandy with young and handsome Josh Waters.
She stepped nearer to the table. She said, “Do you hate me?”
Karina shook her head. “No.”
“Can I sit?”
“Yeah.”
She sat down opposite Karina in the small fixed seat and set down her tea. Karina’s face showed faint lines at the corners of her down-turned mouth. There was a long silence, and Kimmy broke it saying, “Is Josh really okay?”
Karina pursed her lips, looking down at her hand on a ceramic Tim’s mug and her plate with the crumbs of an absent muffin. “Depends what you mean by okay.”
The answer chilled her, and the possibility of a gloomy outcome blossomed in her imagination. Josh altered, brain-injured, or worse: Josh never waking up. “He might not be okay?”
Karina looked up, her pink eyes harder now. “He’s fine, Kimmy. At least that’s what they said. You didn’t talk to the doctor yet?”
Kimmy shook her head. “I was just sitting down there, waiting.”
Karina stilled, eyes lost, staring at Kimmy’s tea mug. “I don’t know how he got down there in the water.”
“What happened?”
Karina’s lost eyes widened, brow raising again. “I found him on the shore. Soaked. It was so freezing. He was . . . blue.” She looked up, eyes wet. “But he was shivering. He was alive, and...” She stopped, lips slimming into a small thin line.
“Why was he in the water? How did he end up there?”
Karina shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You two were in a bunkie?”
Karina looked annoyed, like maybe Kimmy had meant the question as a curve-ball accusation. She said, “Not like that.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“We were in a hot tub. All of us. Josh was having a good time. A real good time. But then he was like nodding off, and Meyer was like, Josh has to go to bed.”
“He was drunk?”
“We all were. We were all having a good time. It was a great night. Josh . . . We cheered him up.”
Kimmy’s eyes swelled, and she put an elbow on the table, touching her face, hiding it from Karina.
“Steve was bunking with Josh, but Steve was still up and having a good time and I was ready to call it a night, so I took Josh to bed. I stayed with him to make sure he was okay. And then I woke up, and he wasn’t there.”
“And those two girls...?”
“Quinn and Emily? Yeah, they took charge. They knew what to do. We just helped them, get them whatever they needed.”
“But Josh is going to be okay?”
Karina nodded. “Yeah. He was better at the cottage, but Quinn said he was stage four or something like that and she was worried about his heart. They got an ambulance, and the paramedic said it was Josh’s lucky day and they could get him on one of those Ornge choppers.”
Kimmy warmed her hands on the hot cup, letting them off when it scorched, then putting them back on. Quieter, she said, “Why’s no one talking to me?”
Karina sighed, then shrugged. “Why? I don’t know, Kimmy. Because you’re a lawyer and your husband fell into the lake at their cottage and they served him alcohol. And they think you must be a nasty piece of work. I keep telling them you’re not. Or at least you weren’t before.”
Kimmy squirmed. “Why do they think that?”
“They know what you did.” Karina got closer, her face angrier, that soft worry creased with meanness. “They were there to cheer up a guy whose wife cheated on him.”
“They know that? Who told them that?”
“I don’t know who told them. Like, Meyer,” she said, bothered by the question, like it was the least important part of this whole conversation. “Who cares who told them? We all knew why we were there.”
“Josh didn’t tell you any details?”
Karina frowned, studying Kimmy. “Do you want to tell me some details? Why would anyone want to know something like that?”
“He didn’t tell you anything?”
“Josh didn’t tell us anything. The whole point of being up there at the cottage was to cheer Josh up, get his mind off it. The last thing we’re going to do is bring it up.”
It was too much of a relief to take it at face value; too fortuitous that Josh would have a chance to tell all their friends all the things his wife had done to him, and not indulge; not vomit forth all the crimes committed against him. She said, “Get his mind off of what? What did he tell you?”
“He didn’t tell me anything. It was Meyer. Meyer called me and said Josh was in the dumps, that he was in a really bad way, and do I want to go to a party for him. And I asked him why’s he in a bad way—but I think I already knew why.” She looked hard at Kimmy. “Meyer said he thought you two were done, and I hated to ask, but I just had to know, and Meyer told me, yeah, it was Devlin. Just unbelievable, Kimmy. Devlin and that new job, he said. But I knew it didn’t have anything to do with the job. Not at first. You went after Devlin before there was a job.”
Kimmy muttered, “I didn’t go after him.”
“I saw it with my own eyes, Kimmy. Josh never told us what you did. Why? What does it matter? Did you do worse than break his heart?”
She covered her face with both hands, wishing this day had never dawned, that Josh and she could manifest their own reality, that Josh would indulge all her lusts and sate himself from the runoff. “No,” she said. “I just broke his heart.”
Karina nodded, glum and yet satisfied, like Kimmy had been put in her place. “Josh told us he hit Devin with a chair.”
Hands still on her face, Kimmy nodded. “Yes, he did that. He hit Devlin with a chair. I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Why did he do it? Did he catch you together?”
“No, that wasn’t it.”
Karina looked away, jaw muscles flexing. “It would have to take a lot for Josh to do something like that.”
The image replayed in her mind of Josh and Devlin, and her holding their penises together and of the sexual taunting; all the work she thought might lure Josh into sexual abandon and yet the result may have pushed Josh over the edge. Or at least to the brink. She said, “Yes, but it wasn’t about me. Everybody has a breaking point. Josh is a good guy. He hit Devlin with the chair for the sake of . . . I don’t know, his family.”
Karina didn’t understand. “What about his family?”
Kimmy sighed, an enervating weight settling on her, a hopeless burden that pushed away all the fencing she’d struggled to set for her garden’s shape. “Not his family. Our family.”
The miscarriage. Karina looked uncomfortable. Kimmy said, “Devlin insulted Josh’s ability to create one.” Now she lay a hand on her stomach. “And that was too far.”
Karina understood what she meant now. “That is too far. He’s such a piece of shit. I fucking hate that guy and I have no fucking idea what you saw in him.”
“I don’t, either.”
“Was it Amy? Did Amy put you up to it?”
The opportunity was obvious; it stood up at the back of the class waving an eager hand for her attention. Karina had just held open the door, and Kimmy could walk right through it. Step through the threshold of forgiveness and into a room where little blame would come her way. Why, yes, it was Amy. I’m Amy’s victim once again. She pursed her lips, then rubbed her brow, and admitted it had nothing to do with Amy. “I did it all on my own. No one made me do it.”
Karina’s lips stayed slim, her head wagging in terse and admonishing jags. “I don’t know why you ever hung out with Amy or any of those people. They’re such jerks. So fucking arrogant.”
“I was just friends with Amy.”
Karina had no more to say, putting her joined hands up by her face and looking out the window, like they were done here. She should leave Amy alone, go back to Hyun and Sophie, see if the doctor was around, but she said, “Do you hate me?”
Karina put her hands down, and her eyes followed. Kimmy could read the exasperated body language, the restrained anger. She said, “I don’t think you deserve Josh. You deserve Devlin.”
“You said he’s a piece of shit.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“That’s what you think of me?”
“You had everything, and it wasn’t enough.”
“I didn’t have everything. I—”
“Come on, Kimmy,” Karina said, looking up to meet Kimmy’s eyes. “What the hell do you want? What would be enough?”
Kimmy bowed her head and thought of the spring, before any of the paths she strode took their wicked turns. She thought of losing her baby and how fucked up that was, and maybe telling Karina how she had biological urges and maybe her body craved seed and thought Josh’s seed had failed her, and those biological urges hijacked her senses and injected her with a maniacal desire that defied all common sense. But it was all mumbo jumbo, and any credit Karina might offer on such a flimsy scheme was long ago cut in half for non-payment.
Karina said, “Hey,” to someone, and Kimmy looked up to see Meyer coming to the table. “What’s up?”
Meyer said, “I’m going to take Quinn and Emily back up north. Emily has to work a shift tonight.” Then to Kimmy, “The doctor was out. He said Josh is going to be down for a while. I’m going to come back through Peterborough. I can take Hyun and my daughter home. I’m going to come back here to the hospital in the morning. . . . I assume you’re going to stay here?” He raised his eyebrows and waited, looking like he wouldn’t be surprised if she said she wasn’t. Did he think she would go to Devlin tonight?
She said, “Yes. Of course I’ll be here.” If this was how they thought of her after she cheated, what would they think if they knew the truth?
Comments
Andrew Mellein
I still think Kimmy is still entranced by Devlin's big dick. I think Karina is right when she said "You deserve Devlin"! I kind of want Kimmy to continue having her affair with Devlin. It makes for great drama. But now that Josh knows I don't think this marriage is going to last and I can see Josh telling her off. Probably in the hospital room?
Kat
It would be fitting with Devlin’s character to show up at the hospital to taunt Josh while he’s weak. There’s no way he wouldn’t use this to his advantage somehow. Peterborough is sort of on the way between Kingston and Toronto on the 401. Just like how he showed up in his Mercedes at the Dragon on his way back to Kingston for Kimmy’s “guilty conscience” party for Josh. If Kimmy was willing, I wouldn’t put it past him to try and fuck her in a washroom at the hospital. I don’t see Kimmy doing anything like that now. With Hyun, for sure, but Devlin is a no. Let’s not forget that Kimmy was just confronted by Stone Sr. less than 24 hours earlier. Devlin is going to come looking for her, and I think Kimmy is going to let him have it. While she’s starting to take responsibility for what happened to Josh, the real person she’s going to blame is Devlin. I detest what Kimmy did to Josh, not so much the cheating, but the lying, mocking, flagrant betrayal, as well as doing it all with his bully. The worst person in the world, as Josh as stated. I also think what she’s doing with Hyun is rotten. She’s going to screw up so many lives when this gets out, because it will. I don’t detest Kimmy, though. As I said earlier, if it was just the cheating, even with Devlin, okay move on, stop lying, be truthful with Josh, maybe they could be back together. Josh still desperately loves her. I don’t think that makes him a weak person. You can’t help who you love, and I’m sure they’ve had times where they’ve been connected and that love was shared. I feel sympathy for Kimmy, but it gets harder and harder, each time she backslides and commits more betrayal towards Josh. Kimmy is a complicated woman, and a lot has gone into what she’s become. I do believe that her sheltered upbringing, mixed with losing her mom, and then the miscarriage did a number on her. The miscarriage itself may have caused some mental stuff that made her vulnerable to going down that dark path. I’m not saying she had post partum psychosis, but definitely depression. KT wrote, “back when Devlin’s surprise appearance in her life dropped a line down the deep well of despair she’d fallen into. A dark and dingy bottom-hole where she wove baskets and hid from the world. Half way up the rope she started to climb on her own, no longer content to be lifted.” A dark and dingy bottom-hole describes depression perfectly, or at least or does for me. I have depression, and had bad post partum depression with my son. I didn’t cheat on my husband, though. Lol I did spend a lot of time indoors, much like how Kimmy described to Josh, not wanting anyone to see me. “I didn’t want to go back to work. I made baskets in the house so I wouldn’t have to step outside. I didn’t want anyone to look at me, see me, talk to me. I didn’t want to go back to work. I made baskets in the house so I wouldn’t have to step outside. I didn’t want anyone to look at me, see me, talk to me.” This part made me feel for her. She was at a time in her life where she was lost, and Devlin provided excitement and an escape from the sad life she was living making cat baskets and cooking and cleaning their apartment. I feel sympathy for Kimmy, because she is her own worst enemy. If she could confess everything to Josh, and never lie to him again. I’m not saying she needs to be “good,” but no more lies. I think Josh could deal with that, or at least the old Josh could. He likes wicked, cut throat Kimmy. Who knows how he’ll be when he wakes up. It’s a testament to KT’s writing that I’m still rooting for both Josh and Kimmy.
L_S87
Kimmy and Josh remind me of the Scorpion and the Frog. Kimmy might want Josh's acceptance for a ride home, but Josh has made this trip before. It's ended the same way multiple times. Can Kimmy choose to stop being the Scorpion?
L_S87
From Karina's perspective, I agree. She sees Kimmy having made some awful choices and destroying Josh and her marriage, and she deserves to be saddled with a piece of shit like Devlin as payment (and punishment) for services rendered. That said, we know that Kimmy, in many ways, is very much like Devlin in how she treats others, especially Josh. So while Karina doesn't mean it that way, in a sense, they both are pieces of shit, unworthy of friendship or Josh's love. I think Kimmy can still redeem herself. Its all a matter of want. And whether Josh feels forgiving enough to let Kimmy prove her worth.
L_S87
I like the idea of Devlin showing up. It's in line with his character to follow Kimmy here and kick Josh while he's down. Make a comment about a lack of chairs to be thrown, them some references to Kimmy being pregnant and wondering how that happened. Though, given the circumstances, I think Kimmy just might throw a chair herself. Devlin would make a great punching bag to unleash her anger on. In fact, it could even be a boon for Kimmy, if she were to lay into him in front of Josh in a way she's never done before. Verbally eviscerate Devlin and leave nothing out. Clearly burn that bridge for Josh to see that she gets it. Don't know if that fixes things, but it would do Josh a world of good. Kimmy finally being the spouse she always should have been when it comes to Devlin. But. I don't really think Kimmy should have it so easy. If this is her Odyssey, she needs to pay the emotional and physical toll to return to the place she now realizes, I think, that she never should have left.
Andrew Mellein
FAM season 2 is great! Hi Bob.
Andrew Mellein
I hope Devlin pops back into this story! Plenty of drama when he is around.
Glaucon
Odyssey as the journey home: is this Kimmy's metaphorical "coming home"?
Bill F Protagoras
"she says Devlin's a piece of shit and they deserve each other". L_S... my reading of the original two separate sentences makes me feel the emphasis is on Kimmy deserving to be with Devlin as a punishment not that they are two of a kind.
Bill F Protagoras
That's why I asked... I could see it in speech but 'I' found it distracting, may just be me...
Bill F Protagoras
"Or at least you weren’t before.” I love a phrase slipped in suddenly between the ribs so there's a moment before you feel the pain... and you reach your hand around and there's no blood, it's as though it hasn't happened... yet.
Bill F Protagoras
I suddenly had a thought, though I'm not totally convinced by it, that Kimmy is not so far gone that even she cannot help but recognise the fact that an affectionate wife would not treat her faithful husband in the cruel AND heartless fashion she has been doing. It's another knot! Thereby condemning an emotionally deprived Josh to nightmarish male feelings of inadequacy. On top of all the other shit!
Bill F Protagoras
There's the compassionate Kat I admire most... but it's not Hyun's fault that she supplies a need for affection to Kimmy, which privilege Kimmy has devastatingly withdrawn from him for some damnable 'reason' I am yet unable to comprehend (though I nurture some suspicions). If Hyun had known what Kimmy withheld, distorted, and downright lied about when 'Kimmsplaining' her problems with Josh, I am convinced she would not have given in to a crush she had been reining in for some time... Even now, still not knowing the half of it, Hyun seems to me more tight lipped than ever.
Bill F Protagoras
You make some very cogent points, Pete.
Bill F Protagoras
Perhaps Karina could employ her talent to eradicate hypocrisy altogether...
Kat
Lol! I like it.
Bill F Protagoras
“My Lord, I will use them according to their desert. HAMLET : God's bodykins man, better. Use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity. The less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty.” NB See how selfish Hamlet is. He gets nearly everyone bar the cat killed in the duelling scene, is in desperate need of the term collateral damage insofar as Ophelia and her family are concerned, ruins the sovereignty of his country... just because a dodgy ghost 'told' him his uncle murdered his father in order to pork his mother. I nearly forgot... Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead...
Kat
I’d like them to be together, too, but there’s so much that they’d have to conquer before that can happen. And it all depends on whether Josh has it in him to forgive her. Every step of the way, Kimmy has made this so much worse for herself. If it was only the Devlin affair and humiliation, I could see Josh forgiving her. But there’s more, more that Josh doesn’t know, along with the paternity of her growing fetus. She’s been fucking with Hyun, and lying to her about Josh. She’s told Devlin that he’s the dad, and that they will make Josh raise his bully’s baby, but make Josh think it’s his, as well as jerking him off on video in his apartment. Lastly, she’s stolen 75K from her job, and is at risk for being disbarred/ jailed. Josh is going to be very fragile when he wakes up. Best case scenario for her is that Josh has some type of memory loss. I’m still here for a reconciliation, but it seems so impossible. It’s quite sad. I’m sad for Josh for obvious reasons, but also sad for Kimmy. As Karina said, she had it all and she wrecked it.
Bill F Protagoras
Well Kat... It might be interesting to find out just how crass Devlin can get... and if sufficient other people were around perhaps a lynching could be arranged.
Bill F Protagoras
If only Meyer had put it as succinctly JL... but in the heat of the moment... It sounds highly plausible and no-one asked for clarification.
Bill F Protagoras
I think, L_S, your Devil's Advocacy is very well put.
Bill F Protagoras
Well said JL!
Bill F Protagoras
Not the first time, JL, and deplorably probably not the last... We are all selfish it's the basis of consciousness, but it can be tempered by compassion and the acknowledgement that other people exist too. As Jorge Luis Borges suggests in one of his excellent Ficciones, when weighed upon the scale of things the worth of any single human being weighs the same as all the rest...
Bill F Protagoras
She certainly does in this chapter, Andrew. I'm always charmed by your enthusiasm! Good luck with your hobbyhorse! It's beginning to look like I well may be getting whatever I want, as I am a soft touch... And I'm loving FAM as you predicted.
Bill F Protagoras
Aaaaargh! Not that hoary chestnut! There was a time when it was as irritatingly familiar as 'be careful of what you wish for'... still it is a horribly accurate indictment of 'human' nature. It is also more amusing! Good one!
JL23
"She covered her face with both hands, wishing this day had never dawned, that Josh and she could manifest their own reality, that Josh would indulge all her lusts and sate himself from the runoff." I could be wrong, but that feels like the first time Kimmy has admitted to herself that her actions were never for Josh, that she wanted things for herself and hoped to drag Josh along with her, and accept the crumbs she provided. I guess she kind of admitted that to him in their last conversation, and she admitted she was selfish before, but they were always tinged with not a small amount of righteousnes. That even if she acted badly, she was doing what he really wanted her to do and he just needed to admit it. In that passage above, it feels like she's finally admitting she was conning him the whole time. Her actions were always about her, she didn't really care what Josh wanted. She just wanted him to come along for the ride. Maybe a full acknowledgement of her own selfishness will be a step forward. But past chapters have shown she just regresses when that last engine fires up again.
KT Morrison
Kimmy may perhaps be Aesop's version, who stole the ferryman's future.
KT Morrison
Yeah, I hear it now. I was fine with it before because it's speech, but it would be better with "got".
JL23
I personally think he wouldn’t reject her, or send her away. Assuming there isn’t some kind of twist, like memory loss that he can’t remember certain things, I’ll think his first thought is going to be terror that he did spill it all to the cottage crew. It doesn’t seem like he did, so perhaps Kimmy can use that as reassurance. We have to remember he still loves Kimmy, even if he feels used and betrayed by her. This could draw them back closer together.
L_S87
LOL at that last sentence, Kat. So very true to use Kimmy's own words against her. She says that about Josh, and she's right to some extent, when it comes to the drinking, but she's much, much worse in regards to most other aspects of their relationship. I would like them to be together, if only because it would be somewhat uplifting for two individuals to have this much disharmony brought about by the actions of one of them, and yet manage to find a way to forgiveness and increased strength, if that individual improves themselves for the betterment of both. But that means Kimmy wanting to improve, not just paying lip service to doing so as she has in the past. Shes gotta walk it, not just talk it. But ultimately, that requires Josh giving her a chance. Karina's right, she doesn't deserve it, but deserving it doesn't matter in this instance. Only what Josh wants. Does he want to give Kimmy one more chance to fix this? He said before he did. But that was before this mess. We'll see. And of course, none of that covers the video, jerking Devlin off, or the theft. Much less Hyun. If I was Josh, I'd demand she tell him everything. No promises, just a chance to come clean, then decide. Use that as the basis for if she's willing to put the effort in. Unfortunately, she's done so much, I just don't know how they bridge that gap. I want them to, but it's hard to see it happening given how much more there is for Josh to know, and he's already at his limit.
Kat
I agree. Josh seemed okay at the party, He was aware that everyone knew why he was there without his wife. Karina knew something was up long ago, because she saw Kimmy start stuff with Devlin. She knows Kimmy wanted Devlin sexually, way before she accepted his job offer. Josh himself had mentioned his suspicions about Kimmy to Steve in an earlier book. Quinn obviously knew what was going on. A lot of these friends all saw Devlin, the night Kimmy gave him the “guilty conscience” party, the night after she was very unfaithful with Devlin at the Royal York. I’m sure there was chatter and suspicion later on. Kimmy became very different after she started working/cheating with Devlin. Josh has been staying with Meyer on and off for a while. Meyer is like a brother to Josh, and IMO the only person in this story that truly cares for Josh and his wellbeing. If anyone loves Josh it’s Meyer. Kimmy has humiliated Josh enough that there’s nothing Meyer could say that would make it worse. If there’s anyone that deserves betrayal it’s Kimmy. She’s done so many terrible, cruel things to her husband, and admitted that she loved hurting him, all while saying she never wanted to hurt him. Make up your mind, lady. With that said, there’s very little chance of a Josh and Kimmy reconciliation, but I’m still here for it. I hope this is a wake up call for her, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves the hospital and sleeps with Hyun in a hotel in the next chapter. Kimmy is her own worst enemy.
L_S87
Yep. In the span of a few hours she basically went from "I can't wait for Josh to see the light and us to start our new life together with our baby" to "He almost died trying to drink away any thought of me, he must hate me to do such a thing." Or so I'd guess is what her subconscious is telling her. That's a bitter pill to swallow.
L_S87
Eh. Josh knew what that party was for. He went because he wanted to. For me that's tacit acceptance of them knowing what happened and finding a way to get through it with their support. I mean, if they're not together anymore, there's a reason. Most guys I know who've had this happen were happy to admit the divorce wasn't their fault, it was their cheating bitch of a wife. It's basically the universal way to say "I didn't do anything wrong, not my fault". That said, given *this* situation, we saw Josh squirm over this, because he knows the truth is a lot more complicated. And depraved. So does Kimmy. Which is why she was squirming under Karina's scrutiny. In this case, I think Josh was okay with them knowing, just not the details. He enjoyed the support, he didn't want the pity or weirdness that "the truth" would bring. Hence his long walk off a short pier while battling the dismay of thinking everyone knew how fucked up his life truly was at this point.
Andrew Mellein
Would Josh want to see Kimmy? I can’t wait to read their future confrontation in the hospital room. Out of all KT’s husband characters I think I like Josh the best!
Andrew Mellein
I’m probably of the opinion that if this marriage goes south that I could totally see Karina hooking up with Josh. At least from this chapter.
Andrew Mellein
Karina rocks!! She called Kimmys hypocrisy out. I loved this chapter. What is the truth? Is that Kimmy being pregnant and the father being Devlin? I can totally now see Karina swooping in and hooking up with Josh if this marriage ends in a divorce!
JL23
Yeah, I agree, at this point I’m not going to judge Kimmy harshly that she seems more concerned about what others think (or what others know) of her than seeing Josh. I personally think she’s not being self-centered (though she could be), I see it more as she’s terrified to see Josh’s condition, and also terrified he’s still going to reject her if she goes in and sees him. To have your husband almost die, and him still not wanting to see you, would be the ultimate rejection. Not to say she doesn’t necessarily deserve it, but I can see why she’d want to do anything to delay that. And I think in her mind, she believes that is how Josh will react to her when she sees him.
L_S87
Went back and read what I wrote and realize I see where my comment may be construed as me thinking Karina is lying and she does hate Kimmy. That's not what I meant, just did a poor job of stating it. I meant that while she says she doesn't hate her (and I think thats true, otherwise this conversation would be quite different) she is massively disappointed in the choices Kimmy has made and how those choices have affected Josh. Karina is caught in the middle, doesn't want to pick sides, because she still cares about Kimmy, but feels the need to make it clear to Kimmy she's been acting like a shit person who isn't deserving of Josh's love. Rather than cut Kimmy off, she's trying to give her a kick in the ass. The same kick that Karina feels guilty about not giving before, because she probably thinks she could have fixed this if she'd been more resolute in her disagreement with Kimmy's actions. Of course, there's no way for her to know the path was already set by the time the party happened at the restaurant (can't remember the name) and her objections probably would have fallen on deaf ears. Now she's got Kimmy's undivided attention and she's making it clear that Kimmy fucked up. Bad. She's not closing the door on their friendship, but I think she is making it clear that Josh comes first for her until Kimmy proves herself worthy of forgiveness. Part of me says that because of how probing some of Karinas questions were. I think she knows there's more here. This doesn't happen unless Kimmy did more than just sleep with Devlin. So she was digging for answers.
L_S87
No, I think this is 90% likely the truth of the matter, my other comment was more me pondering alternate possibilities, because KT loves her twists and turns. So I was wondering what if Karina and Meyer are covering for Josh? Unlikely. Besides, truth be told, I like this version better. It aligns better with Josh as a person, who in past chapters has admitted telling others would be showing how weak of a person he is (from his POV, not that this is actually true). Its why he has told Meyer nothing, because every time he thinks about it, he comes to the conclusion that it would ruin his own psyche if others knew the truth of Kimmy's depravity and how much of it Josh accepted before finally pushing back. We'll see. Or we won't. KT likes keeping her mysteries to herself.
L_S87
Great commentary, Kat. To play Devil's advocate in defense of Kimmy, I think there may be another reason she's avoiding seeing Josh. I do agree that part of it is her selfishly going on a fact finding mission to see how in the dog house she is with her friends by way of figuring out what Josh told them. But, I also think some of this is fear of seeing just how messed up Josh is. She did this. She admits it, she knows it. She could have lied to Karina about Amy, but she took the blame where she knows it belongs. And I think that same Kimmy is deathly afraid of what she's going to find when she finally sees Josh. Not just scared he will reject her, though that's definitely a valid possibility, but that she'll see a man who almost died, and is still physically ravaged from his ordeal. And will have to accept that this damage was inflicted by her and her selfish actions. No more foisting her reality off onto Josh, forcing him to accept her version of their relationship, ignoring everything else. The real world is here, with it's consequences. She's trying to hide from it, just a little bit longer.
JL23
I think he meant he’d take Quinn and Emily back to the cottage so they could get their things and head back together. Then he’d swing back to the hospital, just to pick up Hyun and Sophie and take them home. Then he’d come back to the hospital tomorrow to check on Josh and stay.
Pete
It's a weird situation. All their friends feel like Kimmy did this; that she caused Josh to (maybe) try to take his life. If that's truly what happened, then that's really sobering. Assuming that's not the case, then going to the party, getting blackout drunk, and then falling in the water...that's on Josh. Good point about wondering whether Karina is being truthful. Is she a reliable narrator? Because her story directly contradicts Josh's hung over memory of confessing everything to all his friends. Also, I'm NOT a fan of Meyer telling Karina (and maybe others) that Kimmy cheated. That's a betrayal of not just Kimmy, but Josh. I can't imagine that very many men would want all their friends (or even one) and some of their family to know that their wife cheated on them. If Meyer did that, then he's publicly humiliated Josh in a way Kimmy never has, and if I were Josh, I'd be furious. AND...if he didn't do that, then Karina lied.
Bill F Protagoras
As I am unacquainted with the geography I hesitated to ask if the first 'come' shouldn't be go. Another problem is that the once reasonably clear distinctions between 'come and go' and 'bring and take' have been so eroded as to be frustratingly ridiculous. But it is how most people in the homes of English now speak... fine distinctions upon the butcher's block of language. Once upon a time even little green men knew to request us to take them to our leader. Although before the turn of the nineteenth century 'bring' was used instead of 'take' to proportion a more formal sense. Oh, for the halcyon days of the twentieth century! (Dark humour).
Kat
I like Karina. Finally someone who is telling Kimmy how it is, plain and simple. Although she doesn’t know everything, she knows more than most, and is blatant with her commentary. Kimmy needs someone to lay it out for her. I’m glad that Josh has someone in his corner. He needs it. I find it telling that rather than go see her husband or find his doctor, Kimmy is preoccupied with finding out what everyone thinks of her, and what they know. Does she really think that no one figured out why Josh was there without her? Is she really that surprised that no one will speak to her? She hasn’t even introduced herself to Quinn and thanked them for saving Josh’s life. What happened to the Dragon Lady killer that strikes fear in people when she enters a room? Where is the Kimmy that thinks she’s better than everyone else? She still only views Josh as an extension of herself, and his condition reflects upon her. I’m confused about one thing. At the end of the chapter, Meyer says he’ll take Hyun and his daughter home. Is he taking them back up north and then home, or is he leaving them there with Kimmy until the next day when he comes back? I loved how he used that wording with Kimmy. It seemed completely deliberate, as to act like Kimmy is an acquaintance, not a relative. I don’t think Meyer would be pleased if Kimmy and Hyun started up a relationship. One more thing, does anyone else think Devlin might pay Josh a visit in the hospital? Peterborough is on the way to Toronto from Kingston. I could see him showing up and stirring up crap. I could also see Kimmy and Hyun spending the night in a hotel (if Meyer takes Sophie), and Kimmy just falling in to bed with Hyun, because she so badly needs comforting. I’m being sarcastic. I wouldn’t put it past Kimmy to find a way use this situation to her advantage, and her orgasms. She just doesn’t seem that seriously worried about Josh. She’s still only focused on herself. I can’t believe she hasn’t tried to see Josh. I mean he’s still unconscious, right? Going to him first would have made her look much more caring, and she’s is very obsessed with appearances. Please KT more chapters!! Lol
JL23
Yeah, I really personally felt it was Karina showing Kimmy some “tough love.” Saw your comment that you felt differently, could be the case. I do think Karina is angry at Kimmy, but I don’t think she hates her.
Bill F Protagoras
Which truth? Nice pause...
Bill F Protagoras
"He was... blue." Nice understated ambiguity,KT! Or is it actually a pun conscious or otherwise?
L_S87
That "You deserve..." comment was the best part of the chapter for me. Because it's showing Karina sees what Josh has said. Kimmy is just like Devlin in how she's treated Josh. How she's abused him, his love and trust. Maybe it will finally be the wakeup call she needs. To realize that all she has left is Devlin because she ruined everything else. And that's on her.
L_S87
At this point, i think even Kimmy would admit it's deserved. Thats why she's so listless and contrite. She's been smacked in the face too hard to avoid the obvious truth of this moment. Although whether that carries into the future or she backslides....
Bill F Protagoras
Charybdis reference?
Bill F Protagoras
Let's see if anybody quotes the beauties I have mentally scored lines under.
Bill F Protagoras
I just got the ambiguity of "character assassination"... poor Kimmy to have the damning truth brought home to her by unforgiving circumstance. And unforgiving presumption.
JL23
I appreciate Karina in this chapter, and really don’t envision she has any agenda other than trying to figure out a way to be there for both her friends. She cares about Josh, and despite the harsh talk, cares about Kimmy too. I think she provided Kimmy with some harsh truths that someone other than Josh needed to. Hyun won’t do it, and Karina doesn’t know all the details, but Karina IMO is being a true friend by being a tough friend to Kimmy in this moment. The “you deserve Devlin, not Josh” comment must have cut deep. We get confirmation here that Josh didn’t tell them anything, which seemed most likely. We’re still getting teased the Josh/Kimmy conversation to come…now I need to wait a couple more days…no! I think that is the key moment that gives us more clues on where the rest of this story is going.
Bill F Protagoras
Fucking more brilliant and accomplished as each instalment unfolds. I'm glad to see that the distrust I cultivated in Karina appears to be unfounded... but I will leave conviction in abeyance. I will admit to a certain tendency towards deking myself from time to time. As I said at one point last chapter, I would like to keep my own counsel. But they always pull me back in... The way you leave a trail of bread crumbs to tempt the reader away from self-righteous damnation by increments is working for me. I love how Kimmy undercut her own feasible justification, the way she belittled it as obfuscation. What a conniving bitch, ey! But I'm a soft touch... Wait a mo' is that a gingerbread house I spy in the clearing ahead?
L_S87
Hmmmmm. Is Karina telling the truth? Some of what Kimmy thinks and what Karina says makes me wonder if Josh did spill the beans, but they promised each other after seeing what Josh did to himself to never divulge it anyone else, lest Josh do the same again. Kimmy won't protect Josh's heart, so they will. Maybe? Could be a stretch. What Karina says does mesh with everything we know. Except she did lie about Josh saying nothing, because Josh did confirm to her that Kimmy cheated. Then again, given the circumstances, that was kind of a formality, so she may not have seen that as any big deal. Though Quinn did ask the question. And Karina implies they didn't bring it up... so who knows. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. She's clearly become persona non grata within their group of friends. Karina might say she doesn't hate her, but she clearly is extremely disappointed and wants little to do with her, if she says Devlin's a piece of shit and they deserve each other. I'm thinking there's a piece of Karina that thinks its an unjust world that this would happen to Josh. Like they were close to being something, Josh and Karina, and protecting Josh was passed to Kimmy, with Karina's blessing, only for Kimmy to ruin the perfect marriage. Of course, Karina doesn't realize it wasn't perfect for Kimmy. Far from it, though none of that was Josh's fault. He just has to pay the price for it. Which I think Kimmy is now coming to grips with. Finally. She didn't ask for help from Josh or anyone else. She just held on to it until she found a "solution" that solved everything, for her. She now realizes it was no solution at all. It solved her sexual and self esteem problems but ruined literally everything else she values. The true path probably could have been somewhere in the middle. But she didn't take that route. Then again, neither of them realized they enjoyed any of this until Kimmy stepped out. The moderate approach doesn't work when the extreme path is required to realize any of these desires even existed. Unfortunately, that same path has probably ruined any chance at moderation. There's still hope, I think. But it's slim. Like a razor. Hopefully we get Josh's pov next chapter. Now that we know he's going to be hospitalized for a bit, I'm guessing we'll see Kimmy visit him. Is there anything she can say at this point to fix this? I think it only works if she shows actions.
Bill F Protagoras
"We just helped them, 'get' them whatever they needed.” ERROR? Shouldn't it be 'got' or 'getting' ?
