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DITW 14-9: Odyssey 4
🕑 Added 2024-04-18 21:10:28 +0000 UTCDown near the water, Josh popped the top on the beer in the dark and took a swig. It wasn’t what he was expecting. “What is this?”
“Some pumpkin ale. Perfect for the season,” Karina said. “You don’t like it?”
“I just wasn’t expecting it,” he said and took another sip, this time ready for it. “No, it’s good. It’s real good.”
All either of them could see was the dancing silvery sheen on the lake’s choppy surface. Far across the lake there was a jagged tree line, then starry night above. Karina was silent, but he figured he knew why she wanted to talk to him. He said, “Did Meyer tell you what’s going on?”
Karina said, “A little. He said you were staying with him, and it wasn’t the first time in the last couple weeks.” She stepped ahead, going to the left of the black line of the dock extending out into the water. Steve was right, the dock was incredibly long. He could make out she was slipping her shoes off, then walking bare foot in the sand. A little off to the left, there was an outcrop of rock, a massive bulge of Canadian Shield the lake water crashed against. He followed her, watching her prance from the shore to land on the rock, take a few steps and sit down. He did the same, keeping his shoes on. It was already too cold with his shorts on.
The spot where they sat was large enough that the center point remained dry despite the rough water around them. They both sat cross legged, facing out to the lake. Karina turned to speak, realized they weren’t close enough to be heard without raising their voices over the water, and scooted closer to him until their thighs touched. She sipped her beer, stalling for time. He wasn’t in a rush. She could not say a thing about Kimmy and he would be happy about it. He was going to have another beer after this one, maybe some marshmallows, if Meyer didn’t eat them all. Get another burger off the grill, then another beer, then he was going to retire to the hot tub.
At last she spoke. “I’m sorry, Josh. I . . . I should’ve said something.”
“Something about what?”
Karina shook her had and sucked on her lower lip. “At Tiffany’s party, I was there, I saw, you know, I saw Kimmy and Devlin.”
His stomach turned and he grunted, looked out over the water.
“It’s not that I’m sorry about,” she said, looking at his profile now, getting him to look her way again. “I’m not just saying platitudes. What Kimmy did wasn’t right, but she’s my friend and I trusted her to do the right thing and tell you and make everything whole again. And . . . And she told me she did.”
He nodded, mouth squished to one side, skin crawling at this talk of the very thing he’d gone all the way north of Tweed to escape.
“Yeah, she told me,” he groaned. “At least I think she did.”
Karina was quiet again, and he got the sense she regretted bringing this thing up. She plucked at the beer tab, nervous. “Kimmy told me she would tell you what happened, and then I saw her at yoga, and, uh, she told me she squared it with you, and I knew she didn’t, but I . . . I let it go. I’m a coward. I was too afraid to call her on it, press her, and then she started the new, uh, job, and I didn’t see her anymore.”
“Yeah, but you came to that party at the Dragon. You saw us there. Everything was fine.”
She scrunched her mouth up. “I didn’t think it was. But I thought you were man enough to figure out your own marriage.”
“And now you realize I’m not and think you should have said something?”
She laughed. “No, don’t be stupid. I’m trying to be real here. I feel like I failed you, and it was because I chickened out. Kimmy said it was square and I said okay.”
“Wait a second, what really happened then? She said she and Devlin got in a fight. That Devlin said something he shouldn’t have and then they kind of ended up fighting for real, and then the fighting became...”
Karina said, “Yeah, that’s right. That’s what happened. Then there was more.”
He growled in frustration and rubbed his brow. Karina said, “Forget it, Josh. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
He said, “No, I know. Then they maybe started to have like real sex or something?”
“Let’s forget the details. It’s not important. She started a fight with Devlin and then they wrestled and it got weird. Like real weird. Then they disappeared and . . . I don’t think they had sex. But...”
“I know all this. It’s okay,” he said, waving his hand like it was nothing even though it hurt like crazy. And Karina knew nothing of the scab which she picked. That Amy was in on it, that Devlin woke him up in the tent and taunted him with his Kimmy-wet cock. That they’d all worked him over like a chump and beat him down and humiliated him. He huffed with psychic pain and changed the subject, saying, “Kimmy said Devlin started the fight.” He squeezed his nose and held his breath against an oncoming feeling of terror.
“No, Kimmy started it with him. Started the fight. She goaded him. She wanted to fight. We all saw it. Devlin thinks he’s the master of all he surveys and Kimmy can just talk circles around him and make him dance. It was pathetic.”
He let his nose go and took a deep breath, let it out. “It’s hard to believe. I mean, I believe you. If you’d told me a few months ago, though, I don’t think I would have. I’m sure I wouldn’t have. I can see it now. I can picture what you’re telling me.”
“Devlin’s not innocent, you know? That’s not what I’m saying.”
“I didn’t think you were.”
“It was like Kimmy wanted what happened to happen. She created it. Devlin is an easy mark.”
“You think she marked him? Think she did it all on purpose?”
Karina chuckled. “I don’t know. I don’t want to say bad things about my friend.”
“So you do think that?”
“Let’s just say she got everything out of him she wanted.”
Josh sighed and could hear the tremble in his breath. “That’s for sure.” His heart felt like a lead weight in his chest.
“Anyway, Josh, I let you down. I was a coward. I guess I let Kimmy scare me into silence or something. She is my friend. I do love her. I believed her when she told me that she made everything right with you. That she told you the truth. But that’s stupid. She wouldn’t tell you the things I told you now.”
“That’s not fair. Those things that are true now weren’t true then. Not yet. They hadn’t bore fruit.”
“Maybe not. But if I had told you what I saw, maybe it wouldn’t have gone this far.”
“Yeah,” he said, nodding. Then: “Wait. How far? What do you mean?”
“Well, where we’re at now. You’re staying with Meyer and Kimmy’s with Devlin.”
He groaned and set his half-finished can of beer on the cold rock between his legs then rubbed his face and smoothed his hair back. “It’s way more complicated than that.”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m not prying. I said my piece.”
“You don’t even need to apologize. It’s . . . Kimmy’s not with Devlin. She’s staying with Meyer’s ex-wife right now. Staying with Meyer’s ex and their daughter. Kimmy is not with Devlin.”
Karina said nothing in return and he looked aside at her to see her features lit up in silver light, confused, brow knitted tight. He chuckled and said, “Kimmy’s not with Devlin, if that’s what you thought.”
“I guess I assumed.”
He shook his head and sighed, picked up his beer and swigged it again. “Kimmy hates Devlin. She wants me. She wants me back. It’s me who left.” He looked at Karina and was embarrassed by the measure of pride he couldn’t conceal. Like the failure of his marriage wasn’t on his shoulders, the dreaded weight of your wife’s infidelity crushing down your self-respect. While it was Kimmy’s infidelity that had rung demise’s bell, it was he who had the say, who had the judgment. He could choose to return to Kimmy or could choose to leave her. “Kimmy wants me back. Kimmy wants me to return.”
Karina didn’t smile or say anything, and in her silence he heard the unspoken, and just now realized it. Kimmy knew her mark. Knew how to place people where she wanted, knew how to say the things that would have them rushing to please her and fulfill her own wishes. Devlin was an easy mark for a devil like Kimmy. Did he really think he was any less easy?
The pride he’d felt washed away and now all the fun of the evening went with it. The realization of his own artless trust had been the plug pulled from a drain, and now all the good will and happy feelings were swirling down to the town’s sewer system, charging him a flow rate he didn’t want to pay.
He looked out at the lake and said, “Fuck.”
Karina bowed her head, maybe regretting her role in deflating the purpose of the evening. She got even closer to him, their thighs already touching for warmth, now leaning her shoulder against his, her head inclining his way. She said, “You’re still in charge, Josh.”
He nodded, scowling, trying to puff himself up. The night had been going so well and he didn’t want the good feelings to leave. “I’m still in charge,” he said.
If there was anything to salvage from this summer’s debacle, it was what he brought up next, fleeing his wife’s treacherous duplicity and presenting Karina with a better angle. “You remember a time we were in high school and we were out late at night, we were walking home from a dance. Like grade nine...”
Karina hummed an affirmative sound, nodding, knowing where he was going. It would be presumptuous to think this night had the same kind of impact on her. To him, that night was a milestone night, a pivotal moment in what others in the future would describe as Josh Waters. “We were just walking along Soap street, and that kid Johnny Rumble—”
“I remember. I remember him.”
“Yeah, you remember,” he said, glad in one way that she remembered since the moment meant so much to him, but sad in another way, that that moment also probably shaped how she thought of Josh Waters. He’d had the hugest crush on Karina Brubaker back then, and she got to see him laid out and gasping for breath, beaten and robbed and doing nothing about it. “You know I went out with Rumble and Devlin a few weeks ago? We went to a ball game.”
She laughed, then looked at him. “You did not.”
“Oh, yes I did,” he said, chuckling. “Johnny Rumble’s a fucking loser.”
“Wow, big surprise.”
“Devlin runs his brain still. He’s gross. Wanted to see an Asian stripper, he says to me.”
When she regarded him, scrutinizing him, he waved her off, saying, “Long story. . . . Point is, I feel bad for the guy. He’s a neanderthal. He wasn’t blessed with an IQ over eighty. You know, some people just aren’t the same. Devlin used Rumble the way Kimmy used Devlin, maybe.”
Karina laughed. “I think Kimmy has a high IQ.”
“I wouldn’t argue,” he said. “But Rumble’s this sad sack who’ll never amount to anything. It’s Devlin who attacked me that night.”
“I know,” she agreed. “I see that. For sure.”
Now he rubbed his chin, looking out at the choppy water, hunching up his shoulders from the damp chill. “I, uh . . . A couple days ago, I snapped at Devlin. Like he, he just went too far.” Did you know Kimmy’s pregnant and the baby could be Devlin’s? “Yeah, he just said the wrong thing, and I picked up a chair, like an office chair, a fancy leather one. Heavy. Wheels on it. And I fucking wailed him with it.”
Karina lifted her head from his shoulder. “You hit Devlin with the chair.”
“Yeah I threw it at him. We were pretty close. I got him right in the face.”
She stared, not knowing if he was joking, but sensing that maybe he was telling a true story. “You did?”
He nodded. “Yeah, hit him in the face with it. And he went down hard. But he got up and did nothing. Do you know how crazy that is?”
“That you hit him?”
“Yeah. But also that he did nothing. I thought he’d kill me for sure. I just didn’t care. In fact, he could have gone and done it and I’d have welcomed it. Like it would suit Kimmy right if she got to watch me get beat to death by the piece of shit she was fucking behind my back.”
“Oh, Josh, don’t, don’t say that,” Karina whispered and touched his face. He leaned into her, empty of anguish, devoid of sorrow, left only with a leaden despondency for all that was lost and what could have been.
Karina hugged an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. She kissed the top of his head. “I shouldn’t have brought this up with you. I’m sorry, Josh. I just wanted to confess that I failed you.”
“You’re fine,” he said. “I’m not mad at you.”
She kissed the top of his head again, muttering, “I shouldn’t have brought this up.”
And she was right. Everything had been fine this night. This night had realigned the misaligned. He leaned into her more, crumpling for a moment and burying his face in her hands. It felt wonderful to have someone hold you without thinking they wanted more from you or perhaps they didn’t even mean it at all. But now he shook his head, knowing these thoughts were wedging him deeper in an intractable Chinese finger trap. He sat up, pulling away from Karina, laughing now and breathing in cold crisp air. He tipped his beer back and finished it. He crushed the can in an impressive display of masculinity that got Karina to laugh with him. He said, “I need another drink.”
Comments
Andrew Mellein
What if it was really Karina pulling the strings and doing the texts🤔 Because she wanted Josh!
Bill F Protagoras
Have you seen the final episode of Shogun yet?
Bill F Protagoras
It was Karina's idea to go to the reunion.
JL23
Hey who knows at this point? I would say, if that’s true, poor, poor Josh. If Kimmy, Devlin, Amy AND Karina are all gaming him, in one way or another, who can he possibly turn to? Meyer doesn’t seem like the type who will possibly understand any of this (not to mention, if the stuff with his ex and Kimmy gets out, I could see that ruining his relationship with Josh as well).
Bill F Protagoras
"She goaded him. She wanted to fight. We all saw it." So there are all these other witnesses who saw Kimmy playing, playing with Devlin, so Kimmy would be right to worry that gossip would get back to Josh, if we are to believe Karina. Also if Stone Sr starts investigating Kimberly Waters...
Chris K
Pete, agreed. I've said this so many times...
Pete
It's surprising to consider, but in some ways Devlin has been the most truthful of our 3 primary players.
Andrew Mellein
I wonder when Amy the supposed mastermind is going to fit into this story? I know It’s kind of hard to use her character because she’s in the U.K. but I still want to know who did those mysterious texts to Josh!
Donkatsu
That's why Kimmy has to confess it all to Josh if there is even a chance of reconciliation. Josh is on the Island of the Liars and everyone has an angle.
Bill F Protagoras
"Karina shook her had and sucked on her lower lip." ERROR Should be "Karina shook her head.".. not her had!
L_S87
Good point about the baby, Andrew. Josh was very hung up on that a few chapters ago. It felt like that was one of the main reasons, or THE main reason he went back to Kimmy that second time. And he only left again because of Kimmy's revelations you referenced. Kimmy does deserve props for telling him that. I think she came to realize that Josh has to know the big stuff, or at least think he knows the big stuff, for him to stay with her. He has to knowingly walk back into that and accept her for what she is, or it doesn't work. The problem being, he doesn't seem to be accepting of some of those parts. And know he realizes that some of her confession was a lie. So how does he trust the rest of it? Tricky proposition. He enjoyed tonight because of how "normal" it was. And that's probably his answer right there. If Kimmy can't make their relationship normal at least most of the time without all this cheating, lying and drama that she's so addicted to? Then I think Josh will accept they are done. His darkness is mild compared to hers. He wants it as a treat every once in a while. She wants it as a full course meal every day. They just can't live like that where they aren't just on sperate pages, but in completely different books.
Bill F Protagoras
I think you may be right, certainly I seem to remember that, as you say he had no domination over her, I'm pretty sure it was vague, that he had at least made a move on her!
Chris K
Remember that Karina has some sort of influence over Devlin, just like Amy. Could it be another plot to destroy the Waters out of more jealousy?..
Bill F Protagoras
Insightful... but wouldn't be too sure about Karina's 'evidence.'
Bill F Protagoras
I'm glad you noticed too... and I agree with your conclusions... especially liked 'not more run around.'
Chris K
I also rejected Karina's credibility when she said "let's forget the details, it's not important." She was trying to tell Josh she knows Kimmy was lying to her about coming clean to Josh, yet doesn't think he deserves the details? Details are what he needs at this point, not more run around.
Bill F Protagoras
I retract my previous opinion of Karina, she did nothing but make things worse for Josh and attempt to save face herself, by throwing a person she claims is a friend under the bus. She also gave away that she was holding back information. I am now suspicious of her and her motives... I'm not even sure about her interest in Josh. If she had said anything helpful to Josh it would be something... It now seems more like stabbing a friend in the back to cleanse her conscience at best... I emphasize seems... maybe she's into Josh but I'm not feeling it... Could just be me!
Bill F Protagoras
Quite apart from, practically alienating Josh, it could be inferred that Kimmy's child is even more a hostage to fate than children are ordinarily believed to be! Wasn't Kimmy being superstitious about the unborn child... and now she's using her pregnancy in her conflict with Devlin... and it is also a factor in her quasi-legal antics with Stone Sr.
Bill F Protagoras
With friends like Karina does Kimmy need enemies...
Bill F Protagoras
“Let’s just say she got everything out of him she wanted.” Considering her professed ignorance and HER wish not to enter into details, Karina here makes a sweeping generalization which covers a multitude of sins including insemination. To further add innuendo to the self-inflicted evidence of his own eyes his high school crush has now added hearsay... as Karina says she did not witness Devlin and her friend flagrante in delicto. “Let’s forget the details. It’s not important. She started a fight with Devlin and then they wrestled and it got weird. Like real weird. Then they disappeared and . . . I don’t think they had sex. But...” One piece of wisdom I worked out on my own is if you want to keep something secret then don't tell anybody about it, and if you don't want to say anything bad about someone, don't even mention it! The devil is in the details...
Andrew Mellein
I want to see another Kimmy and Josh chapter! A couple chapters back she told Josh to his face that she enjoyed her affair. With Josh now knowing she initiated the Devlin ruckus at Tiffany's there is going to be some fireworks. But I do think this marriage is pretty much terminal even with Kimmy having Josh's baby. I don't see how he is going to stick with her. When all she does is treat him like shit behind his back why would he.
Donkatsu
An old Greek guy (Heraclitus) noted that character is destiny. This truth is a big element in KT's moral code and it applies to Kimmy, Josh, Devlin, Johnny Rumble, and all the rest. It applied to Nia, in Cherry Blossoms. She sealed her fate when she falsely accused the girls' night stripper of sexually assaulting her, and subsequently said nothing, and suffered no remorse as Dino went on the bust the guy up pretty badly. We know that, dead or alive, things did not work out well for Nia. Similarly, Kimmy had notched her trajectory with her plan to seduce Devlin at Tiffany's party, her mocking of Josh (dick size, cream pie eating, etc.), her fusillade of lies and misdirection, her too-clever-by-half plan to show what a fuck-up Devlin is to Sr. As several have noted above, none of that was really necessary, most of it was counterproductive at a minimum, and yet she got off on all of it and continued to up the ante of betrayal, lies, gaslighting, manipulation, and mockery of those who loved and trusted her. Kimmy has now successfully concluded her journey through all the circles of Hell. We know that she filled in what we thought were incomplete achievements in Greed (4), Wrath (5), Fraud (8), and, finally Treachery (9). Way to go, kid.
Mike Monroe
Run Josh!!! Run far away from Kimny!!! There is no redemption in her or being with her! If you can't trust a person especially a person who should be the most valued in your life then what is the point! Josh and Kimmy marriage should be dead. It was on life support but now after Karina spilled the real tea...DOA!!!
Bill F Protagoras
Karina apologizes for saying nothing when it might have helped, by saying a particularly injuriously concise few sentences that revive his grief then adds hints.
L_S87
Yep. The sad part of this is that all Josh is really looking for from Kimmy is an emphatic actionable statement that says "I hear you, Josh. I get it and I won't do this anymore because we're a team and we make decisions that effect both of us together." Which is sad because she said those words, but Josh wants the actions to back it up, and everything she does points in the other direction. She's leaving him with no real choice. And when Karina, who says she loves Kimmy, basically all but states she's manipulating you and isn't good for you, well... what's Josh supposed to do? Granted, Karina could have an ulterior motive, but it doesn't come across as such. We'll see. Hopefully more Kimmy next chapter.
Kat
Yeah, L_S87, I also hope Kimmy finds out about Karina being there. I don’t think she and Josh need to do anything physical for Kimmy to lose it. Just knowing that Karina was confessing to Josh about the night at the party is enough to set Kimmy off. I’m wondering if later on Karina herself tells Kimmy what happened. She said that she loves Kimmy and considers her a friend, so why wouldn’t she call her? I’m still hoping that Kimmy and Josh find a way to be together, but her behaviour going forward is making that less likely. She’s really gone off the deep end. It’s sad, because she could have had everything she wanted. As you said, I don’t think it would have taken much to convince Josh. But instead she continues to lie, as well as, do even worse things that could end with her disbarred.
Kat
Yes, Andrew, I agree, Kimmy could definitely be used as a scapegoat here. I don’t know why she doesn’t realize this. Devlin’s dad may be an ass, but blood is always thicker than water. I doubt Devlin’s going to get any grief for any of Kimmy’s mess.
L_S87
Yeah, Kat, I wanted to believe her when she said no more lies. I thought, in that moment, Kimmy was being truthful. She would share all about Devlin at some point, and once they were in a stable place, Hyun as well. (Because, honestly, I don't think it would take much twisting for Kimmy to make Josh like the badness of that). Yet, here we are, she's still withholding and now we find out some of the "truth" she provided was a lie. Yes, we know that a lot of what she said was actually true, and certainly was better than what she'd been doing prior, but there's so much more there that he doesn't know. Hyun, the theft, Devlin being jerked off and in panties? Telling Josh "he's not ready to know this" doesn't somehow make it okay. It makes it worse because she's being awful, knows it, and then hides it. For the thrill. And she'll keep doing it because she's addicted. And I think that's probably what spells doom for their marriage, much as I wish Kimmy would get her head on straight and manage her wants. Josh is seeing this and I think he realizes Kimmy will never be trustworthy. So he either accepts being a token husband who is used, abused and lied to on Kimmy's whims, or he steps away to find someone who won't treat him like a disposable chess piece. Don't know if that person is Karina or not, but I could see her wanting to pick up the pieces with Josh. There's a reason she's at the party and not bothering to check on Kimmy. The little bit of Kimmy in me would still love it if someone took a snapshot of Karina laying her head on Josh's shoulder and texted it to Kimmy.
Andrew Mellein
Kimmys goals and priorities are all over the map. She wants to ruin Devlin by stealing money. But what about the house she wanted to buy and raise her family in. She could end up being fired and going to jail! While Devlin is more likely to skate because he is the bosses son! They could use Kimmy as a scapegoat.
Kat
I agree with you on Kimmy’s situation being sad, as it’s from her own making. She really seems to be sabotaging herself, and as some have already said, it’s seems like this whole Devlin thing was her own making, and nothing to do with Devlin and Amy. We’ve both commented before we believe that Kimmy truly loves and needs Josh. What I can’t understand is if she needs him that much, and he’s the only one she truly cares about, why all this self sabotage? If she had approached this differently, she probably could have gotten Josh to buy into it. He’s got his kinks, and while they cause him shame, part of it has to do with Devlin, and her involvement with his bully. They are both going in the wrong direction if they ever hope of getting back together, especially Kimmy. I know I blame her all the time, but I really have been rooting for her. She just keeps messing up over and over. The reason I blame her the most, is because she’s the one who started all of this. Karina said it to Josh. She is still married to Josh, but fucking both Devlin and Hyun behind Josh’s back, after she promised him no more lies, only truth. She could be so close to getting what she’s claims is all she wants, but every day she manages to get further and further away from her dreams.
Bill F Protagoras
So is deking a feint as in ice hockey or is it one of the other half dozen much more obscure or unlikely definitions I found?
Bill F Protagoras
Never was a truer word spoken!
Bill F Protagoras
"Devlin used Rumble the way Kimmy used Devlin," Hubris abounds enough to fuel half a dozen tragedies... and Josh reeks of cuckold while Kimmy primly dabs at her privates clinging to an illusion that will soon be nurtured in her own penetralia alone, that she was once pregnant with the child of a modest man who shared his prospects with her, though he never knew her any more than she knew herself... smiling secretively at the infinitely regressive image of dissatisfaction in tenebrous squinting eyes, reflecting in a mirror that isn't in her home, that are dark as an ill-omened bird croaking a poetic rebuke! O what a tangled web we weave when first..
Steve McCarty
I don't know if Kimmy and Josh can survive. I am disappointed with Josh and his drinking. 'there's no situation so bad that getting drunk won't make it worse' is a truism I have heard over and over in meetings ending with the serenity prayer. Josh has many times engaged in circular thinking going through all the possibilities and ending at the starting point, another term for this is 'stinking thinking' as alcohol abuse changes the physical connections in your brain. Josh has had several binge drinking episodes besides his blackout performance at the reunion. Unless he moderates his drinking he is very much 'not in charge' and will be unable to provide the love, courage and sacrifice necessary to repair the relationship(seems unlikely at this juncture) and/or shield Kimmy from significant self harm. I bet that pumpkin beer would taste terrible coming back up.
JL23
Yeah, to me that was the biggest revelation. And it kind of seems plausible based on how Kimmy is explaining things to Hyun. Even if it was subconsciously, maybe Kimmy started this entire chain of events herself, rather than be manipulated/goaded into it by Devlin or Amy.
L_S87
Been rather silent for the most part waiting for this Odyssey to play out. I'm very much wondering if we get Kimmy's POV in the next chapter and how Hyun ultimately reacts to Kimmys revelations. Though we all know she's actually keeping the worst back because she already made that bed of lies, she even references to that fact, although she provides some hints to let Hyun know that she knew how awful Devlin was and chose to sleep with him anyway, because she wanted to. Which leaves us in and interesting place with Josh, who seems, on the surface, to have made his decision. He's taking pride in Kimmy wanting him back, but doesn't seem to indicate an interest in doing so, and Karina's deft point about even that being a manipulation, and potentially having nothing to do with Josh actually coming first or being that important, certainly firms up the potential resolve he has to stay away. For me, the sad bit here is Kimmy 's clear self sabotage where she could easily have kept Josh and been with Devlin if she'd approached this differently, yet it's becoming apparent she knew she could have and chose not to because she wanted this chaos, this risk. I don't know if she wants it now that losing Josh is so clearly on the table, and my opinion is she would have acted differently if she'd realized Josh wasn't going to be so easily won over but she initially made these decisions knowing the risks, because she wanted the thrill of that risk. A part of me still wants to see them stay together, yet I find it hard to refuse those like Andrew who point out that Karina would be a much better choice for Josh. Yeah, she wouldn't feed his darkness the way Kimmy would, which is why I think Kimmy and Josh could be perfect together, with moderation, but Kimmy wouldn't know moderation if it bit her in the ass. Which is Josh's dilemma. He can't trust her. When does she start sabotaging again for that thrill? Living your life constantly wondering when your wife will cheat again and lie about it because the thrill of being secretive and awful gets her off is no way to live at all. And I think that's why Josh is reticent and checking out. He loves her, but he can't live with her.
JL23
In the US, we’d use “it suits you right” and “it serves you right” interchangeably, in the context as written it would mean the same thing. “It suits you right” can also just mean “it fits you right” too, like a piece of clothing or whatever, it all depends on the context of the sentence and how the writer means for it to be intended. We like to complicate the English language here lol.
KT Morrison
Yes! You're right about that. I remember stumbling over that line when I typed it, and feeling the phrase wasn't right, but kept going to keep the dialog flowing from my fingertips. I never revisited it, I guess. I'll change it in the MS!
Bill F Protagoras
To suit right down to the ground... means to suit perfectly!
Bill F Protagoras
"Like it would suit Kimmy right if she got to watch me get beat to death by the piece of shit she was fucking behind my back.” Just checking... "It would serve Kimmy right" in the UK would mean she would deserve something bad happening to her like having to watch Josh getting killed by her bull (his bully), whereas... "Like it would suit Kimmy if she got to watch Josh get beat to death by the piece of shit she was fucking behind my back.”... would mean it would be fine by Kimmy if she got to watch Josh getting killed etc a rather different meaning... It suits me means it's fine by me... or something... clothing or some accessory looks good on me...
Bill F Protagoras
It was well done, but Karina was definitely keeping stuff back and I wonder how much she is genuinely intimidated by Kimmy. She clearly gained at least as much news from Josh as he got from her, but as you say she only dealt in generalizations... even more sparing of details than cagey Kimmy. What could be more worrying than the possibility K consciously set up the whole disaster that has been showered down on Josh's head and is so deeply in denial that she appears to be a dormant volcano.
Kat
There’s some interesting info in this chapter. So, Kimmy initiated the incident with Devlin at the party. It seems like Devlin was telling Josh the truth in the tent after all about her. She started it, not Devlin, and she wanted him badly. Josh is realizing that the Kimmy he loves is not the person he thought she was. There’s this whole other side to her. It doesn’t seem like he’s anxious to get back together with her. Wait until he finds out about her stealing from her job, and fucking with Hyun on the side. If all of the previous stuff hasn’t made him decide to leave her, that stuff will.
Karl
I was really hoping Karina would’ve tell exactly what happened at Tiffany’s. I would’ve loved to hear more revelations and details about Kimmy’ and Devlins shenanigans. I just can’t believe Josh has the whole picture of Tiffany’s yet. I sure as hell don’t believe Kimmy told everything, Karina was holding back and Josh just put his head in the sand again.
Bill F Protagoras
Josh wasn't too keen on plunging elbows deep into the bloody mess he finds himself in, either... understandable if his being taken to the lake was meant as a distraction...
Chris K
Not to mention that she really wanted to stay clear of any details...
Bill F Protagoras
There seem, to the spying of my little eye a lot of terrible consequences on the horizon... what worried me most in this instalment is that Karina made not the slightest hint that Kimmy's behaviour was out of character. Or thought that her shacking up with Devlin would surprise her... most of her qualifications focused on not saying anything condemning Kimmy because they are besties... is that hoes over bros? haha! That was a kind of bitter sarcastic laughter...
Bill F Protagoras
I don't know what 'deking' is... but I think I'm getting a shrewd inkling of the mysterious way your imagination works its wonders to perform. I admire the mimetic credibility you lend to the characters and the situation.
Bill F Protagoras
Although I have been resisting attaching significance from the Odyssey, I can't resist mentioning that one of the meanings of Calypso's name, who detained the hero's wanderings on her island and delayed his return home for 7 yrs, was 'concealer of knowledge.' Actually. I know of someone else who deserves the epithet more.
KT Morrison
Sensible ambiguities are a wellspring of creative options and clever deking.
Bill F Protagoras
"This night had realigned the misaligned. He leaned into her more, crumpling for a moment and burying his face in her hands. It felt wonderful to have someone hold you without thinking they wanted more from you or perhaps they didn’t even mean it at all. But now he shook his head, knowing these thoughts were wedging him deeper in an intractable Chinese finger trap." Now that is what I call the kind of suspense that'll probably rock my boat for a while. "Chinese finger trap" was probably what Amy called Kimmy when she was sniggering with her mean HS GFs. Seriously, a harsh feeling for Josh to suffer from.
Bill F Protagoras
"He leaned into her, empty of anguish, devoid of sorrow, left only with a leaden despondency for all that was lost and what could have been." Nicely done, KT. This entire chapter is a deft tour de force. Everything after... "He leaned into her " seems to be an all to familiar lament... a kind of twisted benediction for the trials and tribulations life generally entails.
Bill F Protagoras
"Kimmy knew her mark. Knew how to place people where she wanted, knew how to say the things that would have them rushing to please her and fulfill her own wishes. Devlin was an easy mark for a devil like Kimmy. Did he really think he was any less easy? The pride he’d felt washed away and now all the fun of the evening went with it. The realization of his own artless trust had been the plug pulled from a drain, and now all the good will and happy feelings were swirling down to the town’s sewer system, charging him a flow rate he didn’t want to pay." It appears Josh is accepting the idea that the Kimmy, he and pretty much everyone else who knew her, was a small Russian doll cupped inside a larger potentially more menacing one. I find it amusing that Kimmy's much vaunted intelligence is turned against her.
Bill F Protagoras
“You’re still in charge, Josh.” Karina is so right... Josh's words during this meeting show how well he is assimilating his disagreeable past and perhaps might be getting a handle on his difficult present.
Bill F Protagoras
I thought you were man enough to figure out your own marriage.” “And now you realize I’m not and think you should have said something?” She laughed. “No, don’t be stupid. I’m trying to be real here. I feel like I failed you, and it was because I chickened out. Kimmy said it was square and I said okay.” Though Karina seems to offer a compliment to him, Josh's uncertainty shows through. Naturally Kimmy isn't looking too good anecdotally. We still see her as Bad Kimmy... but now Devlin seems her stooge... her mark in a long con. The shrewd manipulator so many need her to be, a woman AND a monster, ey, Clement old chum...
Bill F Protagoras
“No, Kimmy started it with him. Started the fight. She goaded him. She wanted to fight. We all saw it. Devlin thinks he’s the master of all he surveys and Kimmy can just talk circles around him and make him dance. It was pathetic.” This was where I suspected this was going you have been doing a jigsaw puzzle and now a part is fitting together, nonetheless a lot of other pieces still need to fit together. Karina is really apologizing to Josh and is not sure enough to give harmful confirmations.
Andrew Mellein
While these past couple of chapters were great and help flesh out unclear things and other characters. I feel this story is really cooking when it's Josh and Kimmy talking or even having Devlin somewhere in the mix! I still want to know what was on that video? And I cant wait to see where they are at after this short time apart.
Bill F Protagoras
Seven types of ambiguity even when the prose is smooth and flowing, information seems plentiful you set it up to break in the direction of the greatest ad hoc reality, you manage to make certainty about many things feel as scarce to us as it clearly is to Karina and Josh. Karina instead of being a source of discord is a provider of solicitude and regret. Even conjuring up past villains, and key events brings no melodrama. The unexpected pumpkin ale sets the tone. The beautiful description of the night glinting lake, despite geological violence, influences the entire craftily mounted scene. Every time there seems a danger of a catalytic event the friends dampen it, by their consideration for each other. Karina is the antithesis of the antagonistic Kimmy they both pussy foot around. Josh seems to be in the driving seat but where he is bound is unclear...
Donkatsu
The issue for Josh and Kimmy now is whether (i) Kimmy can/will confess EVERYTHING to Josh, (ii) Josh can find it in his heart and guts to take Kimmy back and heal her, a very long process; (iii) Kimmy is willing to be fixed; and (iv) Josh is willing to put up with the occasional backsliding. I've certainly left lots out and there are so many ifs already at play here. My own prediction is along the lines of JL above. Not gonna be fixed between them - too difficult, too much risk for Josh. Kimmy skates at Stone Brokerage and becomes some sort of Master of that Universe. Devlin is kept around to entertain clients on a very short leash.
JL23
Ah, OK…I didn’t recall that. My memories of the specifics of the early books are fuzzy at best. I went back and read the first book a few weeks ago, to try and refresh my memory of the aftermath of the party, I should probably go back and read 2,3 and probably 4 as well.
Andrew Mellein
JL23 I think in book 2 or 3 it's mentioned Karina was his crush and he took her to the dance. And then Rumble beat him up for his jacket which Devlin demanded. I think she was the one that got away from Josh. But what's funny is that Josh told the story about Rumble/Devlin tormenting him for his jacket to Kimmy and to not trust or do anything with Devlin. And I think that night or the next day she had her first sexual affair with Devlin in the hotel room. Totally blowing off Josh!
Andrew Mellein
I feel that at this point if the baby is his or Devlin's it doesn't matter one way or the other. He's pretty much checked out of this marriage. By having it confirmed that Kimmy was the one to instigate the fight with Devlin is just another blow to their marriage. Josh just cant get past Kimmy cheating on him with Devlin and who wouldn't if they were in his shoes!
JL23
This chapter feels like a Josh, in large part, who is ready to pull the plug on his marriage. Not sure if it’s the thought that the pride he felt in the fact that Kimmy didn’t want to leave him was in the end just more manipulation, that in the end he’s just another chess piece in her game (and also the thought that maybe she had this planned all along, that Devlin/Amy weren’t the driving forces), I just sense he’s done. He’s mourning what’s lost while no longer wanting to try and reclaim it. And he doesn’t even know about Kimmy and Hyun. He’s more resigned to his fate and trying to figure out ways to move on from Kimmy rather than trying to hang on. And while I don’t think anything will happen with Karina this weekend, his revelation of a teenage crush on her was an interesting development. At the very least, we know a younger Josh (one I think he’s trying to find again), thought of her as more than just a friend.
Tracey52
Everyone is broken
Andrew Mellein
Damn I’m at work! But I can’t wait to get home and read it KT!
