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MTB5 Addendum: Shog 1
*****SYSTEM ADDENDUM ADDED BY [SYSTEM CORE 1]ADDENDUM NOTE:CONTEXT_HEADER_up_alarm_identification_foreigner_doll_connection_plainAll we had to do to get a juicy look at the c’thon home dimension was realign ourselves to take c’thons off the Delver black list. We don’t even know why they were on there in the first place!This suggests some critical information loss, so we’re leaving this here to mitigate data corruption.(Some information from the c’thon dimension has been extrapolated.)There’s also a phantom instance of SC2 that someh...
Choose Your Own Addendum Submissions
Howdy!Time to submit ideas for which side-character you'd like to see featured in an addendum.In case you aren't familiar with what's happening here:As part of the book 2 launch stuff, RR and Patreon will each choose an existing side-character to feature in an upcoming addendum. These will be published as bonus chapters on a Tuesday as they are created. The addendums will relate to the plot in some important way, so they won't be fluff or filler episodes.Go ahead, try and pick a character that doesn't seem plot relevant. We&...
MTB4 Ω 3
*****SYSTEM ADDENDUM ADDED BY USER NAME: [ERROR: REDACTED]ADDENDUM NOTE: 3 months after the battle of Krimsim.*****Mattias was poring through notes as fast as ink. Baras came out from behind him, a spear in one hand and a branch in the other. Mattias jumped up when he heard the branch snap, and Baras started laughing, holding out both ends of the broken stick.“You know I don’t like surprises,” said Mattias.“Yes, yes I do,” said Baras. “Which is why it is so funny!”Mattias rolled his eyes and glanced at Baras’s spear, noting that...
MTB4 Ψ 1
*****SYSTEM ADDENDUM ADDED BY [SYSTEM CORE 2]ADDENDUM NOTE: 3 months after the battle of Krimsim.*****SC2 was incapable of experiencing the sensation of being overwhelmed. She was capable of experiencing a degradation in her performance from being overtasked, not that it had anything to do with her psychology. It was a fundamental truth when relying on physical hardware that things would wear out when pushed to the edge of their tolerances. Software was also an issue, at times. An adaptive intelligence suite was prone to irregularities, especia...
MTB4 Ω 2
*****SYSTEM ADDENDUM ADDED BY USER NAME: [ERROR: REDACTED]ADDENDUM NOTE: 1 month after the battle of Krimsim.*****Iun and Timo were bickering about who should get the larger melon, as usual. If it wasn’t a melon, it was something else that had to be nitpicked into dust. Iun appealed to his larger size needing more nutrition, while Timo argued he expended more energy because he had a higher metabolism. Jakom was quite sure they didn’t really care who got the bigger melon, they just wanted to be right.Baras and Mattias were discussing logisti...
MTB4 Ω 1
*****SYSTEM ADDENDUM ADDED BY USER NAME: [ERROR: REDACTED]ADDENDUM NOTE: 1 week before the battle of Krimsim.*****A cool wind blew down the road, the susurrus of shifting leaves rising until it swallowed the soft steps of its wandering travelers. Although the nearby villagers all referred to the thoroughfare as a “road”, that was a generous term for a dirt path through deep woods. Still, it made for firm and easy footing, and the choice to travel its winding length was more for Jakom and Sabek’s benefit than Brae’ach’s, who could have...
MT 287 - Sumrann’s Harvest
“Petulance.” The Hierophant’s voice cut across us like an icy breeze. The air shuddered as the titan tried to reassert its control over the thousands of souls, all of which ground to a halt for a brief moment. “Chicks diving for the kernel they’ve dropped when the nest is filled with seed.”“All right,” I thought, ignoring the Hierophant’s opaque insult. “I didn’t know Tavio had Spiritual chops that good.”Some unspoken communication went on between Pio’s group and the captain dropped down beside Tavio. She knelt next to...
MT 286 - True Sense
As the sigils eclipsed the sun, thick ropes of mana poured out from the literally sky-high staff. It was vastly more power than had been fed into any of the Hierophant’s prior spells, and it felt as though every drop of energy was being squeezed from the weapon for one final play.Nuralie had already disappeared, Varrin’s sword was ready as he prepared to charge, and flames danced across Xim’s knuckles. Tavio was balancing on one of the Cleric’s beefy shoulders at this point, since her hands were no longer large enough to serve as an eas...
Update June 12 2025
Ten Handyman Heroslayer chapters have gone up as part of the B2 launch incentives today. Hopefully it didn't spam you with emails. If it did, apologies for that and for this one spamming you as well, I suppose. Anyway, that fic is my "I need a break to write something else" series, so I don't plan on any particular schedule for new chapters. If people really seem to like it, maybe I'll try to squeeze something in, but only if it can operate in a way that doesn't interfere with Mage Tank.Speaking of, the advanced chapters...
HH 10 - Where’s My Money? Pt. 2
“Yes, that’s understandable,” said the banker. “Our records show you’ve never accessed the account. There’s no history of anyone checking the balance, either.”The demon pricked the tip of her finger with a pin and pressed it to a blank sheet of parchment on the table. The blood flowed out, forming a ledger with a dense, but readable script.“This is an accounting of all transactions in your account’s history. You’ll see that each month there is a deposit of one gold. At the end of each month, there is an interest payout, whic...
HH 9 - Slaves and Gold
Gully’s eyebrows went up as he looked at the pile of keys, greed glinting in his eyes.“Okay, that’s interesting,” the demon said. He drummed his claws against the table. “It won’t take long for demons to remember you have those, and everyone heard your deal with Lord Bythraxomonius. I bet half of the owners are changing their locks right now.”“That just means this is time-sensitive.”“Those keys are also worthless to you,” said Gully. “You don’t have any way to take advantage of them.”“Are you already trying to nego...
HH 8 - Shoulder Demon
Castor began to stumble over to his toolbox and piles of stuff, but Gully put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.“Hey, go ahead and drink one of those healing pots you got from Lord Bythraxomonius,” he said.“What about the potion cooldown?” Castor asked.“Full Restore potions don’t trigger the cooldown. That’s part of why they’re so valuable.”Castor checked his debuffs to make sure, but didn’t see anything that said he couldn’t drink another potion, so he went back to the potion parcel and drank one of the dozen within. Unl...
HH 7 - Heroslayer
You have slain a Level 20 [Hero]!+2,000 XP[Handyman] has advanced to Level 2![Handyman] has advanced to Level 3![Handyman] has advanced to Level 4!XP to Level 5: 100/1500You gain the following attributes:+27 Strength+27 Agility+27 Speed+30 Fortitude+21 Intelligence+18 Wisdom+15 Charisma+12 LuckStatus:Castor NamelessClass: [Eternal Handyman] - Level 4Displayed Class: [Handyman] - Level 4Attributes:Strength: 37(+1 Spec Point available!)Agility: 37(+1 Spec Point available!)Speed: 37(+1 Spec Point available!)Fortitude: 41(+2 Spec Points available!)...
HH 6 - Hasty Construction
Castor hefted the wrench and began to stalk the [Hero], who’d finally gotten the idea of cutting the oilcloth away. His sword was clumsy for the task, and the inexperienced martialist had failed to bring a knife. Even after he’d managed to slice through some of the cloth, the majority of it was still plastered onto his face, glued to it with Castor’s Adhesive. His panic wasn’t helping.Castor approached the [Hero] from behind, reared back with the mighty wrench, and brought it down onto the back of the [Hero]’s head with all of his Str...
HH 5 - [Handyman] vs. [Hero]
[Eternal Handyman] gains the following attributes at each Level:+9 Strength+9 Agility+9 Speed+10 Fortitude+7 Intelligence+6 Wisdom+5 Charisma+4 LuckIf Castor had been given more time, he probably would have assigned the attributes differently. As it was, he was happy with his choices. After the wave of class advancements, Castor was getting fifty-nine attribute points per level. That was more than four times what the legendary class he’d passed up on was getting. A multi-millenia-aged [Underlord] might be even better off than his [Eternal Han...
HH 4 - Are you Stupid?
Castor focused on the attributes under [Handyman], and a new window appeared with a list and description of each. There were eight attributes, and [Handyman] would grant Castor +1 to each every Level, for a total of eight points per level. That made it the worst of the three offered classes by far, but that was the only real problem Castor had with the class.It wasn’t even much of a problem, since he didn’t care about becoming some kind of unstoppable powerhouse. The only reason it mattered was because it would put Castor in a worse positio...
HH 3 - Class Selection
“What’s the class stone look like?” asked Castor. He pulled out his notepad and flipped through it, finding an accounting of Gully’s treasury beginning on page 23,709.“It’s about the size of a six-week-old baby girl’s head,” said the demon. “A human baby,” he added for clarity. “Amber-colored, shaped like an egg. Smells like vanilla.”Castor ran down the list until he found a likely candidate. He tucked the notepad away and walked to a group of chests. He carefully slid one of the smaller strongboxes aside and paused in f...
HH 2 - Where’s My Money?
Castor set his toolbox down and crossed his arms. “You’re fucking with me.”“I’m not,” said Gul’thraxis.“Swear it on your blood,” said Castor.“C’mon, Cas. How long have we known each other?”“Long enough to know you’re still a demon. Swear it on your blood or I’m writing your vault off my rotation for nine generations.”“Hey,” Gully said with a scowl. “Don’t threaten the cleanliness of my vault.”“I’ll threaten whatever I want, Gul’thraxis.” Castor stepped forward and shoved a finger into the demon...
Handyman Heroslayer (HH) 1 - Skeletons Don’t Make Good Construction Material
Castor’s most immediate problem was that someone had fused an Undying Skeleton with one of the castle’s main support beams.His day had started with a report from one of the Dungeon Fiends on the 49th basement level. Apparently, there was an annoying rattle coming from beneath the floor. Castor’s search for the source of the noise had forced him to crawl through a mile of rocks, dirt, and demon shit near the structure’s foundation. It was filthy work, but on a scale from a cherub’s ass cheek to a sea of liquified organs, it was on the ...
MT 285 - Explosion!+
“Coordinate with Ishi to get the Dragon flight supporting Krimsim directly. We can handle the adds out here ourselves.”I sent a thought to Etja to see where she was with her Finishing Move combo. The mage had already rotated through the combo once, but could quickly throw out a final pair of spells to activate it again and triple Explosion!’s power through her soul hug. She even had a charge from her Luck evolution, Double Down, which would double the strength of the bonus if I wanted it.There was some concern about how big that would mak...
MT 284 - Sumrann’s Champion
When Tavio landed on the Hierophant’s skull, he struck with the hammer at the end of his poleaxe, and the glowing eyes on each of the creature’s hundreds of heads flickered. The Hierophant reared back as it slid, its gigantic hooves digging house-wide trenches through the soil and kicking up clouds of dust and debris. Tavio’s weapon shone brilliantly as he shot forward to follow, driving the spear deep into the center of the beast’s face.Crags of holy light tore through the monster’s skin and bone as its skull caved in around the spea...
Mage Tank Book 2 is Live on Amazon Kindle/KU!
HERE'S THE FUCKIN' LINKEdit: Audiobook will be out next Wednesday, June 11.You guys killed it with the book 1 launch; the support was insane. Hopefully we can keep the momentum going with book 2. I haven't been as wild with my promo of book 2, mainly because life has been crazy, and also it's book 2 so you guys know what's up. I probably spent way too much time on the promo vid here, rather than like scheduling regular teaser posts, but it was fun as shit to make so it is what it is. If you watched with audio on, you may rec...
MT 283 - Focused Fire
There was a subtle shift in the lighting of the battlefield, and I noticed the wall of birds encircling the city beginning to alter their flight paths. This occurred the moment that the Hierophant’s attention shifted to me. An instant later, too many things happened at once for me to spare any brain cells monitoring the birds.A blue flash, almost gentle, rolled off the Hierophant to fill the air. My skin burned. I tasted copper. Bursts of light sparked in my vision.You have been Poisoned! Toxicity partially mitigated by resistance.Toxicity: 8...
MT 282 - Angry Angry Hippo
When our birdless birdplane struck the Hierophant, the resulting explosion was…Well, it was okay.Maybe I’d call it decent. A solid seven out of ten if I’m being generous, but that score’s definitely inflated by an extra point or two since the plane was an object that neither contained explosives nor any magic designed expressly for the purpose of exploding things. It didn’t even have fuel or other built-in energy sources that might add to the eruptive devastation, and it still did a pretty good job of going kablooey. It was, in essenc...
MT 281 - Bullet Time
“Thank you for being so direct, Princess Ishi,” said Captain Pio. “While your claim invites many questions, given our situation and the tendency for our mutual acquaintance to find himself embroiled in…” She glanced over at me. “…improbable circumstances, I am inclined to take you at your word for the moment. What form would this proposed assistance take?”“His Scarlet Majesty has recently decided to prepare his Crimson Bask for an upcoming conflict, but many of the whelps amongst his forces are untested in large-scale combat,...
MT 280 - We Need Backup
The Hierophant stood amidst the storm of deadly avians, not moving an inch toward the city. There was no evidence that it was doing anything at all aside from empowering the mana monsters attacking Krimsim. The only motion that it made was to turn its head up slightly in our direction, and I felt a weight pass over my mind as it did so. I shrugged off the sensation easily enough, but it was disturbing all the same.We were coming up on the living wall of avians on our way out of the city’s airspace, and I didn’t feel like testing our craft...
MT 279 - Krimsim Skies
Everyone’s eyes turned towards the cockpit as we all tightened our grips on the handholds. Through the windshield, beyond the translucent blue of Guar’s shields, was a dark mass in the sky. The mass expanded until it was a haze of individual dots, which grew until the shape of wings was visible on each, then they were suddenly close enough that I could just make out the colorful plumage of each individual bird. After that,BAM!BAM! BAM! BAM!The birds practically warped into us, and the cabin shuddered as a series of deafening collisions ratt...
MT 278 - Tray Tables Up, Buffs in the Full Upright Position
“May Sumrann sow the seeds of our victory and smile upon its harvest,” Tavio muttered as a wave of energizing light pulsed out of him.Divine Inspiration: You gain 1 stack of Blessed! Sumrann, God of Harvest and Bounty, offers you the Sacrament of Redemption.Sacrament of RedemptionYou gain bonus Spiritual and Divine DR equal to your total stacks of Blessed.Whenever you have at least 5 Blessed and would become Mesmerized, Dominated, Feared, Berserk, Paranoid, or Psychotic, you lose half of your Blessed and negate the status.You currently have...
MT 277 - Active Forgery
“For you, or someone else?” Baltae asked.“For myself,” I replied.“Forgive me if I am mistaken, but is Fortitude not your highest attribute?”“It is.”“Healing skills that key off of Intelligence are typically spells. Why spend your mana to heal when you could spend stamina instead?” He gestured at the Elemental Barrier batting more Swifts out of the sky as Varrin rammed into them. “After all, you have need of your mana for other things.”“Varrin suggested Second Wind to me a while ago, but the rate of exchange isn’t gre...
276 - Biiiiiirdmaaaaaaan!
I still had Reveal transmitting to the party when I felt the hammerhead’s soul pull away from us, allowing Varrin to get an instant understanding of what I wanted to do. Without any other prelude, I used Shortcut to take the pair of us to the top of the falling craft. Varrin tucked his arms beneath the large metal loop that the hammerhead had been using to grip the vehicle, catching the slightly drool-covered bar in the crook of his elbows.The big guy flew forward, easily hefting the cabin, pulling us out of our dive, and getting us back up t...
