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Bean Counting Episode 2

Surely this is the high-octane entertainment you expected to receive today

The Rapidly Escalating Giveaway Game

Now the coupon code SHAQ gets you 20% off at abbiokitchen.com. THANK YOU JONATHAN!!!!

Checking in With a Lil Test

I would like to start giving out good books, hardware, and collectibles.

shaq post Wonton Pozole Notes from patreon

Alright, first of all, this is the last time I'm ever getting invited to do a collab. There are people in the comments of all the big boys saying "Didn't you know this guy is toxic" so I guess I'm a liability now. Ragusea fans, you might have finally won. This was actually the most delicious thing we've made on this show. I thought it was going to be nasty the whole time, but really it had to be tasty. It's pre-seasoned soup, perfectly meaty and salty, with the addition of deep and spicy dried chiles and bright mexi...

Nacho Notes

I wrote this script before covid started popping off, so I was finally able to post something timely without adding any more "quarantine kitchen" videos to everyone's feeds This is the first video ever for which I hired an editor. Could you tell? His color correction is so much better than mine, and he's better at audio than I ever could be. If I can find a way to afford his services long-term, I would love to start putting out better, more frequent videos. I shredded this cheese fresh off a block, but I'm not above bag che...

The Corona Monologue

I’m not a prepper but I own a bidet, shun paper towels, and just so happen to have inadvertently prepared for this exact scenario by accident. Leave a comment or send a DM in Patreon if you need anything.

Pineapple Notes

Turns out that M.I.A mango pickle reference is totally off-base, as confirmed by multiple comments. (She's talkin' about "achaar") The smell thing is not a bit. I sniff literally every pineapple before I cut into it— try it! Combine this video with the ricotta toast video by making strawberry-rose pickles and placing them on a ricotta toast with mint and balsamic glaze. IT'S VERY GOOD This video was delayed because my first batch had its lid slip off and some fruit flies spawned one point five billion maggots in my brew. ...

DUPED BY CORN

Don't pay a 60% upcharge on spices just hit the bulk bin or dollar store

Hummus Notes

This new format is my attempt at wanting to make stuff look easy while still acknowledging the fact that every dish has a limitless ceiling on perfection. Other contenders for the easier-tastier-prettier format include things like Caesar salad and fried chicken. The ATK video i referenced also has a tip for removing the skins from canned chickpeas. This would be a great compromise between time and smoothness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hh9tDJoUjw I feel like this is coming too hot off the heels of the last chickpea video, but the #1 YouT...

Is Soup Tea?

Is a hotdog a sandwich? Does a submarine swim?

A Rare Look at the Kitchen IRL

The sterile look of my kitchen on camera drives me nuts. I’m trying to add more color and interest to those little shelves— does it look weird? Also Bree and I will be in California looking at wedding venues for the next few days so I have to choose between taking a little break from cooking and cooking content or admitting to myself that I might be interested in intermittent vlogging at age thirty.

Talking About Money

Last week I saw my first round of Patreon unsubscribes, so I looked at the exit survey data. Most of the people who left did so because their "financial situation changed". While I try to provide value here on Patreon, I don't want you to go broke while trying to support me. So please allow me to spend some energy talking about money. Tax season is upon us and that seems to be the only time of year this sort of conversation is allowed. I've made a couple videos that are tangentially about money, but the truth is that I spend mor...

Kratky Hydroponics

I only buy green onions once every couple months. After that much time, they get like 4 feet tall and so mature that a natural slime starts to develop on the inner walls. Lettuces and herbs are particularly good at growing in low sun with little nutrition

Please Roast Me

Hello Patrons,It's Thursday, which means The Internet Shaquille Discord server is abuzz with toxic responses to certain Raguseas et al. It's all good fun and a productive private way to decompress about what irks us about online food media, but there's a distinct lack of Shaq-roastery. I'm making this post because:1. I drank 2 glasses of malbec at work so I'm feeling invincible2. I think everyone could benefit from critique if they were willing to listenSo whether you're a current patron or someone out in the distant fut...

There are two types of oregano!

Just a lil alert for those who were not aware. It might not be as common of knowledge as I had assumed, as made evident by my family over the holidays.

You Did Something Good

A special thank-you is due to each and every one of you today. I pooled all your money and donated it to a charity for animals, because one of our continents is on fire. I did my best to put it towards an organization that would use as little of it as possible for overhead expenditures. Good job, team.

Nonfat Dry Milk Powder for More Brown Butter Flavor

jus a quick lil #tip for you, shot in ultra-cinematic PORTRAIT ORIENTATION

Rice Notes

This is the first video I shot with my new A73 + Prime 35mm, so everything is tack sharp. I can see each one of my pores and hairs. Nobody should be subjected to this personal hell. I will never upload in 4K In good news, you can actually see some color separation between the beige and white in my kitchen, so it looks much less like a blown out insane asylum. I'm really happy with the technical results of this new setup, and I have the patrons to thank for the cash I used to buy it. I made a mistake here by alluding to the idea that all sh...

Free Work is Best Work

I sometimes use a service called TeePublic to print the shirts that I wish existed, and someone from a company called Bonfire asked me if I want to switch over. When I said no, they sent me some free design work as a romantic gesture of courtship. Check out the attached PDF to see what they sent! (Also, I would probably pick one of these to become another bonus Patreon Reward, depending on how much they cost)

Date Night - Extended Conversation

We eat for like an hour, so there's a lot to cut out.

Pizza Notes

The cheese I use is the vacuum-sealed log of mozz you find in grocery stores. It's fancy enough to be considered "fresh", but old enough to not be full of lots of water. I shred it into 1-2 cm pieces and I really like the cheese coverage as opposed to even shreds This is the longest dinner table conversation we ever shot. We talked for probably an hour and tried our best to eat as much pizza as possible. Remember, this was three pies and a cheese bread. Your boy was feeling sick all night. I went on a 24-hour fast the next day. It ...

It's a Living

Watch Yr Box

Fridge magnets for $6+ patrons have been SENT OUT! Excuse the plain boring packaging. Each one contains a little bonus sticker to make up for it. Let me know if yours doesn’t arrive and I’ll beat up my mail carrier.

Hardware Recommendation - Microplane

One reason why I never talk about hardware is I tend to lean super anti-consumerism, so before this new series of posts goes any further let me make one thing clear: buying stuff will NOT make you any better at cooking. That being said, here's my first recko: MICROPLANE"Microplane" is kinda like Kleenex aka "facial tissue" in that the actual product name is "rasp-style grater", but let's be real. Nothing rasps quite like an MP. Microplanes zest citrus more accurately than anything else, they make light pillowy cu...

The Salt Cellar

$9+ Patrons,Let it be known that our Discord server is now up and running! It will probably be incredibly quiet in here until I make the big announcement about Patreon, but consider the gates open.

Chickpea Notes

I made these chickpeas for the first time for a tapas party, and it’s crazy how well-received they were. Every time I serve them at a gathering, there’s at least one person who goes nuts for them. The herbs I used this time were mostly parsley, with chives and a little basil. My basil plant is on its way out now. It’s cold out. This is the first video in a while where I didn’t have to cut anything major out. These beans are legitimately that simple. If I could find someone who is an expert in lighting, I’d pay any price to figure this...

is this video done?

what do you think mr malloy?https://streamable.com/68xk4

Ricotta Toast Notes

Making your own ricotta is easy and it does taste better, but the shelf life is about a tenth of what you get in the stores. Sometimes the cheese is meant to be overpowered by strong flavors like green onion and cherries, so in those cases, stick to the easy route.It's too cold for my herbs to be flowering, so in this video I actually use flowers from my cucumber plant. They look pretty, but don't have any flavor at all. Herb flowers are far better.Abbio wants to do a full sponsored video review now, but to be honest I don't think I...