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[Esc] reality posts

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Coming Up

Let's talk about the new video that's been consuming my time and energy for the past two weeks.If you've been craving some magical ASMR to abolish your fears when you sleep, you're in luck. This video was inspired by whoever of you told me you need to feel safe when you sleep. I am no stranger to fear, paranoia and nightmares (something with my hormones because I tend to have nightmares when I don't eat dinner very close to bed time). Thankfully none of them are ever as bad now as the ones I had at 16/17 (because they're...

⛥January Q&A⛥

Happy Imbolc! How are you doing this fresh new season? I see a blue sky in my tiny window for a change and with my cold almost died down, I'd like to go for a walk and try to find some flowers for my altar. I already put out homemade granola bars as an offering and decorated it with new shiny crystals but I still feel like it needs a couple of snow drops or something. But first we'll answer your questions over coffee so I can conveniently link you to the February Q&A post for follow-up questions. This month's inquiries are:Do you st...

⛥January&February Download⛥

Merry Imbolc, Super tier! Due to the short month and ongoing vacation time I've compiled your complementary downloads from January and February (default b/c 4 videos in one) in this post. Last month was a close race, but I'm surprised you all especially loved the Hypnotherapist role play, despite it not having my face in it. So as promised you get to keep it forever as an mp3 including this month's Sassy Spa role play :) I hope you enjoy

♥ Sassy Spa ♥ Sweet and Sticky Facial

It's here!I had this idea a while ago, thinking to myself - why Spa role plays gotta be so monotonous? So repetitive? So boring? Yes, it's great to get sweet pamperings from someone who's job it is to make you feel comforted - but that doesn't mean we can't spice it up a little! And earlier this month, I finally made it happen. This Spa role play is a little different - a little sassy - a little ... dirty. And I'm giving you this treat to remind you not to take things too seriously. =POk, ok, I am guilty of taking this v...

New Moon

My inner Aquarius is happy with the title for this post.The past new moon in Aquarius on January 24th 2020 marks the beginning of a new life. It was chosen with care beforehand through basic numerology to give us a good start into married life and I didn't know that it would fall on a new moon at the same time but here we are. We got back home on Sunday and now we're about to extend our honeymoon until Jack has to leave me again, interrupted only to write this post and continue working on the current video. Right now Jack is playing a g...

January Livechat

Update: looks good so far. we're a little early. guess we'll figure out what to do while people start trickling in lolHang out with us this Sunday 8PM Berlin time - we're gonna have a lot more fun than I've had the past 3 hours editing and wanting to die :)))) We'll do things - it'll be great!

the last post I'll write before Jack arrives

The first two weeks of the decade are almost up. How has the new year been treating you? I feel like I've made 8 months worth of emotional and psychological progress in 8 days. This is the culmination of years of practice and patience, but things are finally coming together for me. I'm recovering my past to eventually start living the life I was meant to live. No more avoiding memories. No more suppressing emotion. Being who I was before I had to throw myself away to survive. Deprogramming the coping mechanisms I adopted along the way t...

The Road So Far (2019)

I didn't expect this one to win with all the cool options I gave you this month, but you overwhelmingly wanted to see what lessons from 2019 I'm taking with me into the new year so here it is :) thank you for caring what I've been up to. I've been a little busy with work to share much of my personal journey but I hope this ramble gives you a broad overview over how 2019 went for me. Here's to hoping the lessons we learned will serve us well in years to come ⛥

A Different Question

This is me asking for your input on the videos I'm going to make this year. I'm not asking what you'd like to see, nor what makes you the most warm and fuzzy. You can get that from any creator. My question is: What do you need?I want to let myself be inspired by what you truly need in life, rather than shiny distractions. This is gonna help me feel like I'm doing something important. Tell me what you need and I'll try to work out how to put it in a future video.

My Goals for 2020

Happy 2020! I hope you all had a great start to the year. Mine was mixed and, dare I say, very contrasted. It started out with a good night's sleep because the family from hell spent New Year's someplace else. They're back by now, but man... The one day they were gone - best sleep I've had since they've moved in. I spent most of the day just thinking about my goals for the year and dyeing my hair. I decided to take a much needed break on the last day of 2019 and went swimming. The pool was more crowded than I had expected an...

Hypnotherapist Roleplay - Live Your Best Life

Super long sleep video? Yes. Wholesome, classic ASMR? Yes. A powerful start into the New Year? Yes.This video is all these things and more. I have so many intentions for this. I know "Hypnotherapist" doesn't sound as exciting as "pretty girl takes her clothes off" but give it a try. I promise I'll be the most relaxing therapist you ever saw. You'll be surprised just how relaxing this therapy session is from the beginning to the very end. Mostly soft-spoken and semi-realistic, it features wonderful writing and paper s...

⛥December Q&A⛥

Greetings, fuckers. How have your holidays been? I hope they were good. Right now it's 11AM and I'm sitting down with a fresh cup of tea from a freshly cleaned kettle of freshly filtered water from a freshly cleaned filter... Fresh. You get the gist. I've been staying up and doing things around the house, though I just remembered while typing this that I meant to sit down and edit... Oops. Guess I'm doing this instead now. It doesn't even really matter which one gets done first as I'm still well within my deadline for th...

The most festive video you'll watch

Do you know that when the universe gives you signs and guides your life but you're already way ahead of the signs? Alyssa Trahan said in November "work, bitch" - already working, bitch. Lada Duncheva said "the eclipse is a time of big spiritual transformation" - already been transformed this solstice. Teal Swan said last Saturday "Make Christmas about the experience you give to others" - already making an experience to give to others.I meant to do this video last year for the Mega tier and I regret having been too un...

My Favorite Holiday Treats

55% of you wanted to see this I hope you like it :)What's your favorite holiday treat? I know pies are big in the US but in Germany I've never seen a pumpkin pie in my life. We have apple pie and in the summer some seasonal fruit pies like strawberry rhubarb or blueberry. The latter are usually topless. Pies aren't really a holiday food here so it's all about the cookies, cakes and pastries. As a child I also used to enjoy the famous Spekulatius but I think I've had more than my fair share early in life and am now over it. M...

End of the Year Stream

Thank you to everyone who was able to participate! Here's our candle burning with vigor and purpose

Guided Sleep Relaxation

❧ without music ❧ 1 hour ❧ 1 hour without musicFlip off insomnia with this shiny new video. This is a, mostly whispered, guided relaxation meant to be enjoyed sitting and just going along with what I'm saying. I recently discovered the power of gentle movements, which is why I wanted to assist you in relaxing your body before bed. Between that, my voice and the gentle stroking/petting sounds I added in post to make it more immersive, you'll get to sleep in no time. And if you're more into visual triggers, there's plenty of...

Coming Soon!

Imagine entering a mystical realm... Faint music and incense burning steadily while your eyes feast on warm colors of orange and amber... An enchantress sits before you - equally earthly and ethereal - as she guides you into a state of deep, tranquil relaxation. Her gaze, her hand movements... You feel yourself slipping into a trance... The way she touches you and softly whispers into your ears... You're weightless... Your body under her spell... A spell of deep calmness and restorative sleep.Fucking Christ, it's so hard to focus on wri...

yule blessings & rambles

Greetings to you from my super cute Yule altar where earlier today I did a little blessing ritual for all of you guys to be safe, fed and warm (or cool) over the holidays and for all positive forces to align for you.Wow, long sentence to start with.I wanted to start off this month by dropping a thank you right here (of course, after completing the monthly spam and errands) for being the pillars that hold up this channel. I feel like things are finally progressing on damned YouTube despite the algorithm and that my hard work is starting to pay o...

⛥December Download⛥

It's coming...The monthly spam.Last time someone said "it's coming" in a show we watch the lady kept saying it in each appearance she got but she never said what's coming so I could only assume she was pregnant with the monster from Stranger Things.Anyways, here are your complementary downloads :)

All About Herbs and Incense

Hi guys, the monthly bonus video is out just in time! I hope this satisfies your curiosity for now (or maybe sparks it instead?) - I could have worked on this longer but I want to start into the next month with fresh energy. Given the topic I had quite a bit of stuff to go through and show. A lot of you guys also wanted recipes, though - so don't worry, they will be included again in next month's choices :) Lately I've had this epic realization that I won't feel like I'm missing out on yummy food if I get good enough at cook...

⛥November Q&A⛥

I'm writing this after Jack has gone to bed and I have cosmically induced insomnia. (Pretentious way of saying I am affected by whatever the fuck our solar system is up to atm.) I know I won't be able to sleep no matter how hard I try so I'm finding things to keep me occupied until I crash. After a fucking ridiculous(ly hard) 20 minute yoga session that I barely managed to follow, I decided to make a hot chocolate and answer some of your questions. Maybe later I'll feel up to re-recording the monthly bonus video for the third ti...

November Livechat

Thank you to everyone who was able to chat! :) Here are some pictures from our flipFrom Pink Kingdom to Goth Kingdom!The garage is now a cozy living space, there's a book nook upstairs and more seating out on the deck. Spooktastic! The best I could do with very limited stuff and color swatches. :)⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥

☽ Headache Healing ☾

I'm living for these witchy vibes.Hi everyone, I made you an exceptionally cozy and soothing video. Besides the obvious theme, it contains a few selected tingly ASMR triggers. Wood burning, smoke smudging, hand rubbing, whispering, breathing, smoke blowing, tapping and I'm sure something else that I forgot. It took a while to get the music right in the video. I'm using NightmareOwl's Spiritual Vibes but I lowered it half an octave because low and slow tones compliment my videos the best. (Probably because I, myself, tend to spea...

the entire making of the Tarja singing video

I've fucked around with this for way too long and I still don't like it. #perfectionistproblemsBut I hope this view into the life of a video creator is something different and interesting :) Feel free to ask me stuff

Tarja Songs with Nature ASMR

... I need some honest opinions here. Clearly I'm biased because I managed to end up hating my own creation and I don't even understand why. There's nothing particularly wrong with it except for the frustrating lack of perfection. Unfortunately, this is the best I can do. I might never publish it. It was fun filming this but now all I can think is "I look stupid, I can't sing, what even am I doing, the sound is all wrong, I look old, the color is not what I want, etc etc" and I feel a little ridiculous and a lot vulnerab...

Sneak Peek

My week's work has been recording and editing songs for the next video. I'm relieved to say that finally I'm through the most painstaking and time consuming part. Obviously this new video is for those of you who enjoy my singing and find it relaxing. I hope it will be to your liking. Pushing aside how much I detest the sound of my own voice and chalking it up to the fact that I've made myself listen to it all day every day for a week straight, I'm gonna leave the judgement up to you. I also hope you like Tarja Turunen becaus...

⛥November Download⛥

What's up Super tier?! The ultra length Spa brushing video is for keeps this month :) enjoy

⛥October Q&A⛥

Happy November! It's finally time to answer your questions- well, question. It's one of those months where there isn't a lot to talk about and I certainly don't blame you all for being busy. Work hard, play hard, hustle - there's only so many hours in a day after all. And somehow, time just seems to dwindle with the daylight hours. I don't know about you, but having this flipped schedule means I don't see much daylight anymore and it pisses me off when I've been barely awake for four hours and it's pitch dark...

comfort foods

Hi this is the bonus video for October :) The US vlog didn't quite work out... So I did the second highest voted.I hope you can give my recipes a chance or at least have a laugh - both things feed the soul :)⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥Creamy Rice Pudding:Bring water to a boil in a sauce pan and add milk until the total liquid amounts to a half liter (like 2 cups). If you're short on milk you can always make up the difference in water no big deal. Add 1/2 cup round grain rice and a little salt and bring to a boil,...

Peace

As we celebrate death, the end of a cycle, this time of year, I want to share a text I wrote a little while ago in the hopes that it will inspire you. Life has a funny way of pushing us into our destiny lately. Forcing us to let go of the dead flowers we're holding. But if they're dead, it means they've been with us for far too long. Some things in our lives have expired and overstayed their welcome. I was supposed to be a bride today, but I was denied happiness by unjustified authority. It sent me down the rabbit hole of reflection...