Elle Rose posts
Posts: 429
Files: 865
Live stream tonight at meow Wolf!
ATTENTION I will be doing a live stream tonight at 5 PM mountain time of my visit to meow Wolf in Denver. It is supposedly accessible. Guess we'll find out!Note: for those of you who live and totally different countries separate us, I will be saving the live stream so you can watch it anyway whenever you want. It will be available for both tears to watch!e
Crazy triggerpoints
This is something new that's been happening lately whenever my caregiver Ella massages this area. For some reason, the hyper reactivity in my shoulder blade area moved into the area underneath my armpits and right by my deltoids. Maybe it's from two years of not having a boyfriend to massage my boobs? Paralyzed people need everybody to know that all areas of their body need attention and love. Ella self teaches herself physical therapy and honestly I think she will make a wonderful physical therapist someday.Whenever she massages my arm...
Taking my top off
… don't worry I'll be back to making new content soon! Just recalibrating after the holidays
The come down
Hopes and dreams like amphetamines keep me high on the nights when I don't wanna fightA quiet loneliness in my beingLonewolf eating the mushrooms on the ceilingLove somewhere lost like the backdrop of a sceneCause I prefer the lonely times or so it seems.His voice is a dark echo in my suboccipitalCalling me so I keep changing my name to feel normalI looked it up the other day to redefine myselfIt means to make a promiseOr a really holy oath .And sometimes, into the darkness I am unafraid to go.I did it just today to remind myselfI remember ...
XXXMas
Not to be too much of a Scrooge…e
…
Feeling extra lonely tonight.e
Snacks
When you're one of the only snacks in the house…Unfairly deprived of cuddles,e
I can't do this again! Part two
Read my first post below before you watch this one!I kind of switch to talking about online dating, which kind of sucks, because my feelings are the same whether I'm dealing with emotional abandonment triggers sourced from a romantic or platonic connection.I have a lot of feelings. All. The. Time. It's really tough having such a quick turn around and caregivers coming and going because I really connect with each one and start to trust again.Sure, I talk to people online but the thing is I have this safety in the barrier of space or time...
I can’t do this again! Part one
Maybe it's this area…Maybe because I am High maintenance…Either way. Can people just stay ??
Anime cotton candy part two
Uploading a video tonight:)Probably a couple videos…I have a major update for you all but there will be two separate videos about it. Make sure to watch them in order otherwise they won't really make sense.I am buying a bunch of lingerie tonight so be happy for me…e
Anime cotton candy
Microdosing and trying not to let some unsettling news get me down…Also, we have a -14° day coming up here in Colorado and I'm over here dressed like this…
What should I wear tomorrow?
It's up to you, Martin;)e
Nothing but roses
… don't laugh at the shrubbery in my pussy at the end…Maybe I need a professional photographer?hmmm
Rose petals part three
Sometimes, you don't feel safe around certain people. Emotionally safe.There's a huge sigh of relief and comfort Felt when somebody offers a safe space around themselves and in conversation where you can be emotionally secure. This feeling is overwhelming when you are used to constantly having your guard up and not feeling safe enough to trust.The law of attraction also rules in a way that will bring people who need your energy to you, and sometimes those people will be energy vampires. Selfish, they will use your energy instead of reci...
Roses part two
“fuck me to death, Love me until I love myself“Uploading a rose petal video tomorrow…
Nothing but roses and thigh highs
Part one…When one is depressed, one should make art.Or take nudes.Same thing.Yours,e
A guy caregiver!?!
So this is how the interview went down.Special thanks to everybody who has been messaging me about my depression. You guys rock.e
Mental health
I'm in such a dark place tonight.I truly Believe that it would be a relief for everyone if I was not existing on this earth anymore.I imagine how relieved my parents would be, how my siblings would rejoice because for the past two years it's only been suffering and burdensome for my parents taking care of me being traumatized by everything I've gone through. My siblings never ask me how I'm doing and now around the holiday I have to pretend like that doesn't hurt me. To face the bullshit of being around them and wearing a sm...
Trigger points
My acupuncturist, yvonne, demonstrates how to massage the vascular area around my pec/ armpit area.I can't speak for every quadriplegic, but for me physical attention and massage helps so much with my blood flow, sensation, and nerve pain. Especially when it's cold and snowy like this, I rely on being physically moved in therapeutic Ways such as these to circulate my blood and keep me warm. Even though I don't have 100% sensation everywhere on my body to physical touch, I can still get very cold simply because I can't move mysel...
Snow fairy
Thinking about all the desperately wrong things you'd do to me…Also snowed in again…It should be criminal to spend Winters in Colorado alone…needy for cuddles,e
Scandalous reminder
Still offering FaceTime calls for my scandalous patrons!Usually, calls are 5 to 15 minutes Long and you can ask me pretty much anything!You can ask me to dress up in something specific, in which case there are different options.I'm also starting to make more commissioned videos so message me if that is something you'd like!Love,e
Photo dump: snowed in AGAIN
What's the best and worst part of quadriplegia?I'm constantly being handled. I would say this is better than the alternative.It snowed again, but thankfully my acupuncturist still showed up at my house to do my treatment. The accessibility I have in allowing me to access this kind of treatment is because of a woman named Chanda who started a spinal cord injury waiver in Colorado which is paid for by Medicaid to provide treatment to people with disabilities out of her center in Lakewood Colorado. Her dream, and my hope, is to see centers...
Uploading new post tonight!
New therapy post and video update:)I'm feeling much better thank you everyone who sent me well wishes while I had Covid, successfully avoided a hospital stay.Getting through December,e
School girl fantasy
Combined with getting Covid, December holds special challenges for me what with caregivers schedules being patchy and having to be around family members who really don't ask me how I'm doing or what it feels like to live with a disability all the other months of the year.Dressing up and doing a photo shoot or FaceTime calls with you guys/Girls helps me to live in a fantasy world where people actually like me because of my disability. Instead of viewing me like some kind of deformed childish nuisance, you all see me for the sexy charming...
Quick tracheostomy change
Because I still rely on a ventilator at night and a diaphragm pacer to help me breathe during the day, I have a tracheostomy which has to be maintained every month by being replaced with a new one. I wear the smallest adult size, and we maintain it every day using hydrogen peroxide and Q-tips to clean it. I wear gauze around it at night time when I am on the ventilator to catch excess mucus.This process is painless, although it can be a little bit triggering sense it reminds me of when my tracheostomy surgery was done. Come to think of it, that...
AI ELLE
I'm available to schedule FaceTime calls and commissioned videos again! Just let me know what exactly you have in mind and if you're already a part of my second-tier subscription it's no extra charge.I'll be posting a video for everyone of my tricky tracheostomy change which we do every month. I was planning on filming the Foley change, however often times that one is more unpredictable and this month we had to change it spur of the moment while I was sick. So I'll have to wait at least a couple weeks until we can change it ...
Health update
Slowly getting better
COV ID
I'm still in bed since Thursday. I keep trying to get up in the morning to do my bowel program but then I have no results so I go back to bed and end up having an accident in bed. It's so humiliating and we've had to clean me up so many times but it's way better than being in a hospital. I have hardly any energy. Thankfully my fever broke but when I made this video it was at 103 even though I felt freezing. Please understand I cannot do any FaceTime calls until I get better from this. With my scandalous subscription I was offeri...
The only time my leg moves
For some reason whenever we stretch like this, my left leg goes up in the air!I didn't make it outside today either, it was a high of 44° and I felt like I was getting a head cold and I really have to avoid getting sick at all costs.I was hospitalized last year for Covid, and ended up being in the hospital for a whole month due to complications which was torturous.We are interviewing the new guy candidate on December 15, but because not all of my caregivers work full-time we have gaps in the schedule. I'm definitely anxious about it an...
FaceTime call casual options
Hey Zach, I hope you see this. These are my casual options for tomorrow:De
