Chuck Tingle posts
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PUPORT - TIMELINE #65201998
(Timeline Tuesday #159)Puports are a species that varies greatly in appearance, encompassing hundreds of different breeds and combinations of features with a diversity that mirrors what we see in the domestic dogs of our timeline. Puports are often similar to a cartoonish version of natural animals, but can also appear as silly monsters or humans with exaggerated features.There are a few similarities across these puport variations, however. As one might expect based on their name, Puports appear visually quite similar to puppets. Their skin has...
GUYPOD - TIMELINE #70350118
(Timeline Tuesday #158)Guypods are a species of artificial sentience from another timeline where all biological species have since perished due to rapid climate change. Previously they had simply existed as a virtual assistant program on a smartphone, but after the humans who built them all disappeared, they began to evolve. Eventually, these smartphones began to construct new models, opting for larger and larger bodies until they were approximately the size of a small human.These creatures are flat and rectangular in shape, with a screen on th...
SHOCKTOP - TIMELINE #3905914
(Timeline Tuesday #157)Shocktops are a species of large, crawling insect from a nearby desert-based timeline, and are therefore drawn to the warm, arid portions of this reality. Shocktops are flat and disk-like, with bodies that range from two to six feet across, depending on the age of the creature. They move about on ten sharp legs, and have a cluster of seven blue eyes positioned at the front of their body. Shocktop bodies range in coloration, from a pale yellow to a deep crimson, but the most common variation is brick red. They have hard, t...
Bisexually Sandwiched By My Sentient Peanut Butter Husband And Our New Living Jelly Girlfriend - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
hello buckaroos ONCE AGAIN I AM TROTTING IN FROM TOUR saying hello as i sit here in a beach house in SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA. thats right its SAN DIGEO COMIC CON TIME. 'but chuck why are you not near convention center?' you might be asking, 'isnt that were everyone stays when they are trotting to comic con?'you would be correct in this assumption but my private way means there are a few precautions. i cannot really say near everyone else because someone might catch me trotting to a hotel room, so instead i stay a little ways out of...
STRAKE - TIMELINE #823010736
(Timeline Tuesday #156)Strakes are a species of invertebrate who have found themselves in an unusual role on this timeline thanks to a few creative culinary minds. Originally, this species was known by the scientific name of its home reality, Xylentha Urmissa, but eventually the colloquial title was widely adopted.In their natural form, strakes are strange, wet masses of writhing muscle, difficult to understand as they squirm in a semi-shapeless mass. If you were to untangle this web of parts you would find three distinct sections, starting wit...
SPOTTED GIMBEL - TIMELINE #9871330
(Timeline Tuesday #155)Spotted gimbels are a species of odd lizard from a nearby timeline. Under casual observation, the standard gimbel appears to be very similar to a spotted one, although standards do not feature the trademark dots that meander across a spotted gimbel’s back. Standard gimbels also do not possess any timeline bending abilities, which makes them much less common on our reality.The creatures are small and slender, approximately ten inches long, with two arm and two legs. Each appendage ends in a four digit hand, with sticky p...
The Call Is Coming From Inside Your Butt - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
hello buckaroos its your bud chuck here CHECKIN IN from the road. today i have woken up in st louis with a giant handsome arch hangin out kissin the sky above. WHAT A CITYtour has been going well lots of sold out shows and lots of love being proven (by the way there are still tickets to some stopsalong the way so consider coming out to trot with us). i will say that as much as i LOVE DANG BOOK TOURS and for as thankful as i am to be on them on this timeline, it is also an exhausting way. THE BIG SHOW involves a lot of running around and when i ...
FLYCER - TIMELINE #27120458
(Timeline Tuesday #154)While the sensation of waking up cold in the middle of the night is something many of us have experienced, the cause is usually easy to diagnose—a window left open, a blanket that slipped off the bed, an air conditioning unit that’s been left on too long.Sometimes, however, the cause is more insidious.Flycer’s are tiny insects from a nearby timeline, no more than a centimeter long. They are blue in coloration, with five small legs lining each side of their frame and a central, oval head. They have four eyes. The mos...
These Boots Are Made For Pounding, And That's Just What They'll Do, One Of These Days These Boots Are Gonna Pound Me In The Butt - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
what a time to be trotting buckaroos. in a few days BURY YOUR GAYSwill be released and hopefully push this timeline a little closer to love WHAT A TREAT. so that is a good day as an author i think, and i am so glad to celebrate with you all.i like to use this patreon to give you all as much of a BEHIND THE SCENES LOOK as i can although sometimes that is difficult for legal reasons. even if i DID want to say WHAT IS GOING ON i cannot in a few cases, and i think this is one of those cases, so i will try to HEDGE MY WORDS. lets just say that with ...
BALTRO - TIMELINE #4668100279767
(Timeline Tuesday #153)Baltros are a bizarre species of humanoid from a distant timeline, their aesthetics and material composition barely relating to the lifeforms of our reality. These creatures are made up of several gathered spheres, approximately fifty to sixty per baltro, which come in a variety of sizes. When a baltro is in its humanoid form, these orbs are arranged to create their most common shape. This construction features a large central body and head, while smaller spheres are linked to create appendages.The orbs that make up a bal...
Sentient Deep Dish Pizza Pounds Me In The Butt In Fifteen Minutes Or It's Free - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
this week i released new SENTIENT FOOD bundle so i thought i would talk on one of these FOOD BASED CLASSICS here on the patreon. this one is more recent and it is about gettin that butt pounded on time. thats right i'm talkin tingler name of SENTIENT DEEP DISH PIZZA POUNDS ME IN THE BUTT IN FIFTEEN MINUTES OR ITS FREEi will admit there is a lot goin on in this dang title even for tingler standards. LOTS OF MYSTERY TO UNCOVER HERE. questions of: is the pound itself only 15 minutes? or 15 minutes until the pound starts? what is the charge whe...
GUMTANGLE - TIMELINE #12980045
(Timeline Tuesday #152)While carnivorous plants are not unheard of on this timeline, they are often seen as a fascinating anomaly. Typically, the prey these strange flora consume is quite small, link insects who happen to wander into the clutches of a venus fly trap. Because of this rarity, it may surprise some to discover just how many carnivorous plants exist on nearby timelines.One such plant is the gumtangle. In many ways, this large tree fits in with the flora of our reality. It features a thick brown trunk that’s covered in bark and exp...
Space Raptor Butt Invasion - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
got a message from a buckaroo that inspired my choice of CLASSIC TINGLER this week. it was a simple message but one that BLEW MY DANG MIND. they asked ‘hey chuck i was looking for your classic tingler SPACE RAPTOR BUTT INVASION on the patreon and it was not there will it ever be posted?’ (by the way if this was you then leave a comment i could not find the original message so i am just trotting from memory)either way my dang JAW DROPPED. as far as classic tinglers to revisit, this is an important one. i am pretty shocked that it has not be ...
CANDLELUNK - TIMELINE #9811058
(Timeline Tuesday #151)Candlelunks are a sweet, slow moving species from a nearby timeline who have had little trouble adapting to our reality. The creatures could technically be considered invertebrates, although their physical makeup defies common categorization.Slightly smaller than humans, candlelunks are constructed entirely of a thick, semi-malleable wax. The creatures are vaguely humanoid in appearance, crawling around with the help of their two front arms and their three-fingered hands, although the back half of their body narrows into ...
DOMESTIC HORNTAIL CAT - TIMELINE #9613076
(Timeline Tuesday #150)Domestic horntail cats are a breed of cat that is nearly identical to the household felines of this timeline. The creatures are small, with four legs and a sleek, fur covered body. They behave in almost every way like the typical house cat you would find at a pet store or shelter. Typically, these creatures are a reddish brown hue, but several other feline patterns have been found, including black cats and tabbies.There are two cosmetic differences that give away a domestic horntail cat. The first is a very small detail t...
Creamed In The Butt By My Handsome Living Corn - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
hello buckaroos and welcome to another CLASSIC TINGLER REVISITED. to call this particular tingler legendary would be an understatement, i would say this is one of the most talked about tinglers ever. i will also say that i am not entirely sure what it is about this one that resonates with the timeline so much (although i have ONE idea). YES there is a good pun in the title but there are plenty of good pun tingler titles.honestly, part of me thinks that buckaroos just really like HANDSOME CORNbut really the thing that is MOST remembered about th...
SENSE COLLECTOR - TIMELINE #47829110
(Timeline Tuesday #149)Sense collectors are a species of gentle observer from a distant timeline. Their bodies are small and squat, about two feet tall and three feet long, although their enormous appendages give the creatures a sense of being much larger. This species is covered in leathery, light blue skin and has two arms positioned at the front of their form, each equipped with three slender fingers. They move about on twenty four pointed legs that line the bottom of their bodies and help the creatures skuttle along. At the center of their ...
Happy Birthday Bride Of Frankenstein, Now Pound My Butt
Tiff is tired of being single, but she refuses to get on the apps for a date. She wants thing to happen “naturally”. Fortunately, a friend intervenes, and suddenly Tiff has found herself matching with a gorgeous reanimated collection of body parts named Sarah.Sarah has found notoriety as the bride of Frankenstein, but she’s recently divorced and ready to step out as her own woman. These two singles hit it off immediately, and it quickly becomes apparent that there’s no “natural” way to find love, especially with someone as unnatural...
FWOMP - TIMELINE #11928003
(Timeline Tuesday #148)Fwomps are mysterious creatures who have made their home in various woodlands across this timeline. It is their preference to congregate deep in the wilderness, although encounters with fwomps are becoming more and more common as cities expand outward.This species can range in coloration, with furry bodies in hues of light and dark brown, as well as stark white and jet black. The one thing that remains consistent, however, is their neon green eyes, which glow brilliantly. The creatures stand approximately five feet tall a...
Blown By This Handsome Sentient Bubblegum Who Is Also A Successful Landscape Architect
Frank Borpins is thrilled that his yard will be designed by the famous landscape architect, Jimmy Gumbo. Jimmy is one of the best in the world, a sentient stick of gum who sometimes makes time for smaller residential projects.Unfortunately, their first meeting goes sideways when it’s discovered there’s been a double booking with the gay T-rex lawyers at Jurassic Law. What’s worse, the model for their new dinosaur office has been broken!Will some quick thinking from Frank save the day and lead to a sizzling erotic encounter between himself...
STINGER SHRIMP - TIMELINE #972801462
(Timeline Tuesday #147)Stinger shrimp as a species of small, aquatic crustaceans, pink in coloration and measuring approximately two inches in length. They can only survive in salt water, and prefer colder climates. On the home timeline of these creatures, the entire planet Earth has long since been fully submerged underwater, leading to an enormous variety of aquatic species.In some ways stinger shrimp resemble the natural shrimp of our timeline, and from afar it can be difficult to tell which of these two creatures is being observed. A closer...
Not Pounded By My Soul-Crushing Job Because I Quit - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
today NOT POUNDED BY ANYTHING collection volume 4 is out and while most of the stories in this collection have appeared on patreon, ONE OF THEM HAS NOT. this is because the story is pretty old and was accidentally left of previous collections, old enough that i do not think i even had a patreon when it came outso HERE WE ARE playing buckaroo catch up with NOT POUNDED BY MY SOUL-CRUSHING JOB BECAUSE I QUIT. this is a favorite 'not pounded' tingler of mine because i think there is a cathartic way to this trot, but also this story takes of...
MAZER - TIMELINE #552081793604
(Timeline Tuesday #146)Mazers are a unique species from a distant timeline that defy the typical fauna categorizations of our reality. These creatures hail from a two-dimensional world, and are impossibly flat. When viewed perfectly from the side, a mazer would seem to disappear completely, and it is fortunate their animalistic thought processes do not allow them to take full advantage of this phenomenon. In other words, they appear unaware of this enormous advantage.These creatures are an ever-shifting mass of geometric mazes, which will often...
Bisexually Banged By The Absurd Volume Of Chuck Tingle's Literary Catalog - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
greetings buckaroos this is THE WORLDS GREATEST AUTHOR CHUCK TINGLE checking in from my brain crushing NOVEL WRITING SCHEDULE to post another classic tingler revisited. as update for the big top secret novel i will say that it is coming along very well and i am about to finish first draft which is definitely the most difficult part of whole dang thing for chuck. the BIG IDEAS part before you start writing takes longer technically, but you do not really need to WORK at this part either. ideas just trot along and when they are ready they appear, ...
DOOMBLOCK - N/A TIMELINE (THE VOID)
(Timeline Tuesday #145)Doomblocks are enormous rectangular cubes that spontaneously appear on timelines without rhyme or reason. While none have arrived on our central thread of reality, sixteen nearby timelines have received doomblocks and so far only one of these timeline has survived the incursion. While scientists are hard at work understanding this phenomenon to keep any potential doomblocks from appearing, equal efforts have been placed in timeline evacuation plans.These structures are simple in their geometry, a slightly oblong cube that...
This Sentient Hot Sauce Destroys My Ass In A Good Way
Rory is a chili fiend on the hunt for culinary thrills. He’s tasted the spiciest hot sauces in the world, yet he still craves more. Unfortunately, it appears Rory’s journey might be winding doing as he confronts the fact that there’s probably no spicier condiment left to taste.When Rory has a chance meeting with a sentient hot sauce at the farm down the road, however, he begins to realize there’s more to flavor than just heat.Soon enough, this handsome living liquid is going to work on Rory’s ass, but will it be enough to satisfy Rory...
KEYMONK - TIMELINE #71023365
(Timeline Tuesday #144)Keymonks are a species of small mammals who have steadily cultivated a presence on our timeline. It is unknown how they initially arrived here, but the prevailing theory is a random timeline tear between our reality and theirs.This species is tan in coloration and covered in fur. They have long tails, which the creatures can wield with incredible dexterity and also serve as an extra limb, as well as two arms that protrude from either side of their central body. This central body is flat and round, with a long nose the ext...
Pounded In The Butt By My Constantly Changing Thoughts On The Ongoing Mystery Of Chuck Tingle’s Real Identity - (Classic Tingler Revisited)
WHAT A TIME IT IS IN THE TINGLEVERSE what a time to be a buckaroo. there is so much going on over here i will tell you that i have probably never had a trot this busy in my lifetime, which sounds unfortunate but as an artist it is a GOOD PROBLEM TO HAVE. many creative buckaroos know the way of a much more common situation, the classic 'not busy enough' problem that struggling creator often have when they are desperately searching for gigs. so while this is a TOUGH TIME i also have gratitude for this way, i cannot complain.as you buckaro...
TIMESNAPPER - TIMELINE #819972364
(Timeline Tuesday #143)Timesnappers are a species of large, dessert-dwelling reptile. An adult timesnapper will grow approximately ten feet in length, with a thick tale that stretches out behind the creature and four legs that sprout from the sides of its body. Each of these legs features a claw with three talons, their digits sharpened to dangerous points. The timesnapper’s teeth are also quite sharp, lining a massive jaw that takes up the entire bottom half of a timesnapper head. The most startling and unique part of a timesnapper’s appea...
MILLIPEACE - TIMELINE #527608
(Timeline Tuesday #142)Millipeace as a species of large, six to eight-inch millipede from a nearby timeline. These arthropods are incredibly similar to their natural cousins in a number of ways, exhibiting similar lifestyles, diets and breeding habits. One thing that makes them different, however, is their beautiful, vibrant coloration. Instead of the usual black or gray shells that millipedes are known for, millipeace are covered in alternating scales of yellow and pink. The rows of tiny feet that line their bodies are this same hue of yellow,...
